train_dataset.json

{"queries": {"918d39a3-b018-49f8-8dc0-34ee9466b49f": "In \"The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy,\" what is the significance of the book's title and how does it relate to the overall story?", "d0419e16-2d05-4214-a833-81691a712a17": "Discuss the role of the author, Douglas Adams, in the creation of \"The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy\" and how his writing style contributes to the humor and satire in the book.", "3b9274f3-4ae9-4783-a287-4b02531674f3": "What is the purpose of transferring plain text to PDF? How does this process benefit the document?", "2686a40f-75dc-4762-abd2-f51c9c112c0d": "How can the use of context information help in generating diverse questions for a quiz or examination?", "f7378b24-ab01-4b76-b36f-14200008fa59": "Who are the intended recipients of the message mentioned in the context information?", "41458355-24d7-4816-a9d6-bb9589845be4": "What are the three things that the message is offering to Jonny Brock, Clare Gorst, and all other Arlingtonians?", "503b51ea-749f-4e90-bb6d-a440b53ef103": "How does the number \"4\" relate to the context information provided?", "1d8f2575-3f16-40d8-9171-c3cbc37b09bc": "What is the significance of the number \"4\" in the given context?", "d84dd7cc-ee8a-4b74-8e08-69f154eed17e": "What is the sum of the numbers at index 3 and index 12 in the given context information?", "0820461d-27e7-4f7c-b0ac-ec598d144b01": "Find the difference between the largest and smallest numbers in the given context information.", "fda8f752-800d-49ce-a98f-76b264ed9ab9": "What is the sum of the numbers in the range 21 to 35?", "73752121-026f-453b-971f-f98370c7415c": "Identify the prime numbers within the range 22 to 35.", "b83e00bd-258c-4678-959f-ba6e8fd2be74": "What problem did the people on the blue green planet have, and what were some of the suggested solutions?", "e700cfb8-b9ee-4d85-a810-b731798c54ff": "Describe the significance of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and its popularity compared to other books mentioned in the context.", "8184c9d2-b9d4-4d4a-bcdb-f98e634ec28a": "How does the Hitch Hiker's Guide differ from the Encyclopedia Galactica in terms of its content and features? Explain the two important respects in which the Hitch Hiker's Guide surpasses the older work.", "44d04506-6895-49c7-97e2-b4aa668f7721": "Describe the significance of the words \"Don't Panic\" inscribed on the cover of the Hitch Hiker's Guide. How do these words relate to the events of the terrible Thursday mentioned in the passage?", "f0ae58e6-4981-44de-b490-0e45937a9b30": "What is the significance of Arthur Dent's house in the story? How does it contribute to his character development?", "3736bd4d-218b-4bbf-8a19-3196ea4f178d": "Describe Arthur Dent's morning routine and his reaction to the bulldozer outside his house. How does this scene foreshadow the events to come in the story?", "922e0867-4e03-45cc-8fb4-4567c5b4e47b": "What is the main conflict in the passage and how does it contribute to the overall plot?", "07c6623d-6fe7-4f86-9ec2-aa18388cc11b": "Describe the character of Mr. L Prosser and explain how his ancestry and job responsibilities impact his actions in the story.", "c1dbc287-75c2-4d0a-b730-77b014c50d04": "How does Arthur Dent discover that his house is going to be demolished?", "4f20d4b1-d91a-4519-9da2-9f1ce44af7bf": "What is Mr. Prosser's reaction when Arthur Dent expresses his dislike for the bypass and tells him to go away?", "d011edda-fd95-4cdc-b05a-81b95710ba9a": "How does Ford Prefect blend into Earth society and what are some of his eccentric habits?", "bbf944a0-19cf-47c5-8276-3d0bd5f9fec4": "Why is Ford Prefect desperate for a flying saucer to arrive and what does he hope to achieve by flagging one down?", "31f8b201-8be3-498b-8999-4832cdf1ffa1": "In the context of the passage, what is Arthur Dent's accepted role in the situation with the bulldozers and his house?", "0cacb044-2f07-4c71-9fc3-0b72c474e1c6": "Why does Ford Prefect insist on talking to Arthur Dent in the saloon bar of the Horse and Groom?", "b6642041-a7f8-4f56-ad88-29ad0ff9c3fc": "How does the game played by Ford Prefect in the hyperspace ports compare to Indian Wrestling on Earth? Provide specific details about the game and its rules.", "e916a1ce-891f-4b4d-a97a-1a6e2e525a1a": "What is the purpose of Ford Prefect playing to lose in the game described in the context? Explain the potential effects of Janx Spirit and how it relates to Ford's strategy.", "e5919746-201c-4176-83a5-682c58c946ba": "In the given context, what is Mr. Prosser's initial reaction to Ford's suggestion of going to the pub?", "d91f67a4-635e-44e7-bd99-eef560d5e93d": "How does Mr. Prosser's attitude change towards the end of the passage and why?", "2513240e-dcac-4866-8073-a2a6832910d3": "In the given context, what is Mr. Prosser's attitude towards the possibility of knocking down Mr. Dent's house? Provide a quote from the text to support your answer.", "3d1fc64a-6dba-4d25-9330-55493d99b84d": "How does Arthur feel about trusting Mr. Prosser? Explain your answer with evidence from the text.", "5e40e255-d579-499e-9e21-82a5e4151d38": "According to the Encyclopedia Galactica, what is alcohol and what is its effect on certain carbon-based life forms?", "db13d580-f2d1-4b2e-96e0-785d99fff913": "According to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, what are the ingredients and preparation steps for the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?", "145fc4f4-7369-4f68-9372-fb62c3de2808": "In the given context, why does Ford refuse to watch the match this afternoon? How does the barman respond to Ford's statement?", "ec033ab9-b84b-4135-90de-28b5188541e8": "According to Ford, why is time considered an illusion? How does Arthur react to Ford's explanation?", "783f9d68-efae-4930-acfc-29183f7b425e": "In the given context, why does Arthur say, \"I never could get the hang of Thursdays\"? How does this statement reflect his attitude towards Thursdays?", "51973cc8-258d-420c-85e3-16f45c992be3": "How does the behavior of the pub patrons towards Arthur's smile contribute to the overall atmosphere in the pub?", "7e5ce8ce-e13e-49bb-82b5-9f8533c31f37": "In Chapter 2, what is the main topic or subject being discussed?", "e755c769-c1f3-41ef-b6b7-1f0242bc88e0": "How many questions should be prepared for the upcoming quiz/examination based on the given context information?", "8449bb84-17e7-432f-9cbf-b21c2af30f09": "What are the features and functions of the devices found in Ford Prefect's satchel? How do these devices contribute to the plot and the character development in the story?", "7fbfd6f3-48b5-4649-8bab-79053f3be25a": "According to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, why is a towel considered to be the most massively useful thing for an interstellar hitchhiker? How does this concept reflect the humor and satire present in the novel?", "401956c8-f3e7-4b77-b0c0-3a0ef5051986": "How does the author describe the various uses of a towel in the context information? Provide at least three examples.", "e96a8958-dd97-4513-8a31-08c6e6bad19c": "What is the significance of a towel according to the author? Explain why a hitchhiker carrying a towel is perceived as a capable individual.", "641dc448-7cdb-4db1-91ee-e0ad5760aaf1": "How does Arthur's reaction to the conversation about \"fun\" in the pub reflect his state of mind and his relationships with others?", "d2b76e2c-b38a-435e-ad60-7b49ed0cb459": "How does Ford's interaction with the barman reveal his true identity and create a sense of anticipation for the impending end of the world?", "9f65fa7e-8a02-4b27-b00d-418d0a5d6bde": "In the given context, describe the reaction of the people on the surface of the planet when they witnessed the huge yellow somethings in the sky. How did their behavior change and what impact did it have on their surroundings?", "384f30e4-2041-4e77-b631-40f22b8931e6": "Analyze the character of the man who stood and watched the sky with sadness and rubber bungs in his ears. How did he know what was happening and why did he have a sense of coldness and sadness? Discuss his actions and the significance of the Vogons' arrival for planet Earth.", "4f14d7be-fb42-46fb-8a76-ed993265447c": "How did the people of Earth initially react to the sudden appearance of the great ships in the sky?", "7f4048d0-0dd6-4753-8aae-a572ac271b6e": "What message did Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz deliver to the people of Earth and how did they respond to it?", "26809d84-1452-4918-8625-34365a00b316": "In the given context, what is the significance of Alpha Centauri and why is it mentioned in the conversation?", "e0b7a838-8aca-424b-8bc6-db40f74d9c98": "Describe the sequence of events that occur after the voice on the PA expresses its apathy towards the planet.", "5c2dc0af-292c-48e4-8123-5860ae29191b": "What is the significance of Damogran in the context of the Heart of Gold project and the Imperial Galactic Government?", "a932a47a-afa6-45af-9245-a1e92380942d": "How does the character of Zaphod Beeblebrox contribute to the overall plot and themes of the story?", "636e0939-c65e-4416-8079-1650665eaede": "What is the role of the President in the Galactic Government and why is Zaphod Beeblebrox considered a successful President?", "6cb52f5a-fe1c-4512-95a3-f6125c4af1c0": "Describe the island of France and the reception committee that awaited Zaphod Beeblebrox.", "5ad10b25-c5bc-4bc0-972a-b26bf242589c": "How does the author describe the role of the Galactic President in attracting attention away from power? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "a831f84c-351f-4f45-8f0a-4aeed86c20b9": "Describe the visual effects created by Zaphod Beeblebrox during his arrival on the Presidential speedboat. How do these effects contribute to his role as the President of the Galaxy?", "2f2a1d7f-505d-4a6d-9142-8854838f27af": "What was the significance of Zaphod Beeblebrox's arrival at the top of the cliff in the bubble transport? How did the crowd react to his presence?", "874fb07a-8cd0-4016-ac75-281a9acb1667": "Describe Trillian's appearance and her relationship with Zaphod Beeblebrox. How did she react to his greeting?", "26d0da3a-077a-4904-a14e-0c2bf2a3b164": "How does Zaphod Beeblebrox's reaction to the Heart of Gold reflect his character and personality? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "06dcd2ea-6866-4b84-a74a-41d9070b0984": "Discuss the significance of the Paralyso-Matic bomb in the context of the given passage. How does it contribute to the development of the plot and the portrayal of the character?", "2cc15d3f-aaf4-43d5-a6fd-6d9fb721cb89": "In Chapter 4, what is the main topic or subject being discussed?", "41c24dda-33a8-4495-84bb-b5fa07edb249": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "ab85c4e8-873b-4039-9143-5be859cc7be4": "How did the Vogons survive on the planet Vogsphere despite their lack of evolution? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "94b03b9e-4cbb-4d2e-9ce7-c086f9df8c55": "Describe the role of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz in the Galactic Civil Service. How does he differ from his primitive forebears? Use evidence from the text to support your response.", "50ad465f-4e00-4e99-a0da-bf5830f53f33": "Who is Ford Prefect and what is his connection to the Vogons?", "02fa4616-37e3-49a6-ae27-7387eb7c1364": "What is the significance of the Dentrassis in relation to Ford Prefect's survival?", "8944e641-45b3-4993-ab30-9e839d02a654": "In the given context, what was Ford Prefect's initial theory about human beings and their lips? How did his theory change over time?", "c0f8bc1b-5204-4e8c-997f-c5454ab3e971": "Describe Arthur's reaction upon realizing that they were in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. How does Ford explain their mode of transportation and destination?", "f36baee9-4447-4160-909f-868f718ca350": "What is the purpose of the spaceship drive being unveiled at the government research base on Damogran?", "5187f3eb-38ca-497b-90b2-1b4ea1b2ed09": "How does the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy work and what information does it provide about Vogons?", "3de0b7e4-7516-4ae8-8c81-f347c000180d": "How would you describe the Vogons based on the given context? Provide examples to support your answer.", "1f8b16c7-fab7-4836-a489-578828d00a73": "Explain the role and significance of the Dentrassi in the context of the story. How do they contribute to the plot and the experiences of the hitchhikers?", "abf4b573-530e-4545-b05d-f91a6b52ca0e": "How does Arthur initially react to Ford's suggestion of putting a fish in his ear? How does his perception change after the fish is inserted?", "af960ebb-cef8-4edc-aeb2-56fad192897a": "What is the purpose of the small yellow fish that Ford offers to put in Arthur's ear? How does it affect Arthur's ability to understand the Vogon captain's announcement?", "fbe7ece0-dc24-43bf-8eeb-2517c6d90d86": "In Chapter 6 of the book, what is the captain's attitude towards the hitchhikers aboard the Vogon constructor ship? Provide evidence from the text to support your answer.", "117f02f2-3ac0-4965-a743-6b65ba04eda7": "Describe the experience of jumping into hyperspace as described in the text. How does Arthur react to this experience?", "17955345-6985-466d-ab59-cf90899fc051": "How does the Babel fish feed and communicate with its carrier? Explain the process in detail.", "3141230e-2cc9-46af-a97b-ca13648b6133": "Describe Arthur's emotional reaction and the impact of the Earth's disappearance on him. How does this highlight the significance of the Babel fish in the story?", "894360d9-c3dc-41cb-b9a0-23332c7385f9": "In the given context, what is the significance of the phrase \"America has gone\" and how does the protagonist react to this realization?", "0a727aa6-1189-4d6e-9b11-1289bb01901b": "Explain the significance of the phrase \"Mostly harmless\" in the context of the book entry about Earth. How does this phrase contribute to the escalating tension in the scene?", "68810221-1f89-45c9-8a6e-18f2c7cfaf88": "What is the potential consequence if the captain is serious about reading his poetry to the characters?", "91deca55-9268-4bd0-81b8-14a351ee41e3": "How does Ford's response suggest his attitude towards the Vogons and the captain's poetry?", "9871e428-235e-4da8-afb9-15b792e6ee5b": "How does the Vogon poetry compare to the poetry of the Azagoths of Kria and Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings?", "48735a2b-a047-469b-8a96-528cea3ad77f": "Describe the physical and emotional reactions of Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent during the Vogon's poetry reading.", "e80d0525-25e1-43ef-aa67-962cd1640699": "In the given context, describe the Vogon's reaction to Arthur's response to his poem. How does this interaction challenge the expectations of the Vogon and Ford Prefect?", "2e640837-b6de-4573-b9d3-3b4ba6787548": "Analyze the rhetorical techniques used by Arthur and Ford to deceive the Vogon and potentially save themselves. How do they manipulate language and employ literary devices to create a convincing response to the Vogon's question about his poem?", "4093f2dd-bdfd-4f02-86a3-3fca60cb756e": "How does the Vogon captain's response to Ford's statement about writing poetry contrast with Ford's initial explanation for writing poetry?", "9a8241e6-f773-4f46-862a-c394e9663757": "How does Arthur's reaction to being thrown off the spaceship reflect his mindset and emotions in the given context?", "830c9a65-c75e-4348-a5f5-ebea2f0123e3": "In the given context, what is Ford trying to understand about the Vogon guard's actions? How does he approach this understanding?", "28d92743-47b9-44b1-9ac6-3a76fc97dd27": "How does the Vogon guard respond to Ford's questioning and what does this reveal about his motivations for his job?", "7ef4d7ed-6cf9-4294-b79f-53d03a1f6fa5": "In the given context, what is Ford's attempt to convince the guard to stop taking them to the airlock? How does the guard respond to Ford's suggestion?", "88f09261-37b9-4a93-b82d-417f72ab9923": "Describe the setting of the chamber where Ford and Arthur are trapped. How do Ford and Arthur react to their situation?", "827e2b2d-3fb2-4277-8a88-c5f97b429bba": "What is Ford's initial plan to escape from the airtight hatchway and why does it fail?", "c202a675-6aa1-4566-88e4-1a56bbbd9824": "How does Arthur feel about his impending death in the Vogon airlock and what does he regret not doing?", "79082efd-23c9-41b7-9e4a-4de026594e87": "According to The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, what is the significance of the planet Beth-selamin and its concern about visiting tourists? How does this affect individuals' bodyweight when they leave the planet?", "e6bc90cf-8911-4283-8998-08ca417e797e": "Explain the concept of interstellar distances and why they are difficult for the human imagination to comprehend. How long does it take for light to travel from the star Sol to Earth, and how long does it take to reach the other side of the Galaxy?", "6b70de43-e2b4-4075-9630-3600b2d661b7": "In the given context, what event led to Ford and Arthur being rescued?", "b84b9ce8-8238-4fb5-8c15-b8dfa8653a08": "How does the author describe the significance of the demolished planet Earth, Islington flat, and telephone in relation to Ford and Arthur's rescue?", "2b3cc9a2-82d0-4091-beae-938fd3e7dde2": "How did the appearance of the hole in the Galaxy lead to the creation of life in the Universe? Provide specific details from the text to support your answer.", "073831ec-97fb-4d2d-803a-5cc27ffd2e3b": "Describe the events that occurred when Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent found themselves on a pavement in the Third Reach of the Unknown. Include the significance of their plan to find a passing spaceship for rescue.", "70382eac-ba54-4011-85d4-77473328cd79": "In the given context, what is the significance of the phrase \"the pit of eternity\" and how does it contribute to the overall theme of the passage?", "ac85e2c2-3006-4082-b117-5ebf99976e1e": "Based on the events described in the passage, discuss the role of absurdity and surrealism in shaping the narrative.", "5818d324-c115-4579-8cca-f075da660661": "What is the significance of the measurement of probability mentioned in the passage? How does it relate to the events experienced by Ford and Arthur?", "71cceac4-ef54-43dc-9120-6296b7316dcb": "Explain the concept of normality as described in the passage. How does the Starship Heart of Gold's current state of normality differ from the initial ill effects experienced by Ford and Arthur?", "78a6b6bc-89e7-4efb-9917-640e698cd010": "How does Ford's excitement about being picked up by a ship powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive contribute to the overall plot of the story?", "e7fa04e6-fb03-473d-b4aa-3a943424a748": "What is the significance of the monkeys outside wanting to talk about their script for Hamlet in relation to the events happening in the small pink cubicle?", "bbf3a865-4b66-42e2-9007-24c323faae7a": "Explain the principle behind the In\ufb01nite Improbability Drive and how it was discovered. How did the student manage to create the In\ufb01nite Improbability generator?", "07960640-d99b-4475-a722-54b0da61b71b": "Why did many respectable physicists object to the idea of generating small amounts of \ufb01nite improbability? How did the student's reasoning challenge their beliefs?", "14056394-acdf-4e3a-bc42-45d965ca47b6": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 10?", "8c39d3d6-d361-4486-9f17-e7f98d8d7d70": "How many questions should be included in the upcoming quiz/examination?", "f5fcfb05-92f8-4c46-adfe-1c8548bcf6fb": "What is the design of the control cabin of the Heart of Gold spaceship and why was it built in such a way?", "aa9f3838-b264-4b3e-b97b-19749214d14c": "Why does Zaphod Beeblebrox express annoyance at Trillian for picking up hitchhikers in open space, and what does this reveal about their current situation?", "8da0467c-b6bd-4a45-a260-7f56a5b059fa": "How does Trillian's actions in this passage demonstrate her resourcefulness and quick thinking in a dangerous situation?", "b84b7569-ef1a-45e3-b60f-7968dbb31668": "Discuss the significance of Marvin's depressed state and its impact on the overall tone and mood of the passage.", "f84bdbf4-8667-4e47-9e52-79c56a262a11": "In the given context, what is the role of Marvin the robot and how does he feel about it?", "7dec40fe-4994-456f-a3dc-0d336fedf729": "According to the Encyclopaedia Galactica and the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, how is the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation described and what is their relationship with robots?", "766f00aa-9218-402b-9957-53f61b825103": "What is the significance of the GPP feature mentioned in the context? How does it relate to the ship's cybernetics and the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation?", "93376210-751a-4261-bbdd-89d3de553679": "Describe the personality and attitude of the robot Marvin based on the context. How does Marvin's behavior and thoughts reflect the concept of Genuine People Personalities?", "ffc63e00-1c60-479d-a7ec-519fd3b34367": "Who is Zaphod Beeblebrox and why does his name elicit such a strong reaction from Ford?", "f8cbe7c0-5978-4b84-9c89-978e919037b0": "How does Marvin's comment about the stolen door relate to the overall theme of the passage and the character's emotions?", "35f30feb-c749-4828-9688-e94bf1c4e4bc": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 11?", "842cfde2-29e8-478d-9d2d-aded281f71d9": "How many questions should be prepared for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "c63047f9-26f7-447f-ad2e-28ab60e11321": "How does the technology of radios change over time in the story? What are the different methods of operating radios mentioned?", "6769662a-701c-45c1-9acd-84810922f7b5": "What is the big news story involving Zaphod Beeblebrox? How is Zaphod described by the news announcer and his private brain care specialist?", "84d5fbba-a4d1-441b-91d9-2b38f5fc9151": "In the given context, what are the different reasons why Zaphod pretends to be stupid?", "1368f7cf-6c08-4897-b91d-ce805945a169": "How does Trillian explain the concept of the Improbability Drive to Zaphod?", "87fc93ce-dc22-4e2b-87a9-c7d761c57cb4": "How does Zaphod's reaction to the computer's offer to help him solve his problem reflect his character? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "24a39fd7-5d52-4f3f-87b8-b6661648c42d": "Explain the significance of the Improbability flight path scanner and its role in determining the probability of rescue for the characters. How does Zaphod's inability to work out the calculations add to the tension in the scene?", "3e913533-7db2-4da7-8d68-fc7928ce3cf3": "What is the significance of the aliens and the robot being taken to the bridge in the given context? How does this event contribute to the overall plot or development of the story?", "5624787f-b595-49bb-8cc4-b556a74bd03a": "How does Trillian's statement about the aliens and the robot being on their way to the bridge create suspense or tension in the narrative? Discuss the potential implications of this situation and its potential impact on the characters and the story.", "4e5d2459-73a2-4e02-ad20-bf4dff44b33d": "In Chapter 13, what is Marvin's complaint about his physical condition? How does Arthur respond to Marvin's complaint?", "de1bb6a9-4629-44c3-801e-cd496881623a": "Describe the encounter with the sliding door in the corridor. How does Marvin react to the door?", "7198b597-263f-4d35-8076-8804d3f2c647": "In the given context, describe the encounter between Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox. How does Arthur Dent react to their interaction?", "a66917ed-7e32-4b88-8eff-89a0a6ed1b0e": "What does Arthur Dent claim to have in common with Zaphod Beeblebrox? How does Zaphod initially respond to Arthur's claim?", "c09d4038-bd68-4655-a852-47dce3c401ac": "How did Ford end up on the \"miserable planet\" and what was he doing there for fifteen years?", "9144fb8c-501b-4537-beed-e26fb8d819bb": "Describe the encounter between Arthur, Zaphod, and the girl at the fancy dress party. What happened and how did it affect Arthur?", "45417542-99df-4651-b3e4-377d0b9c64c6": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 13 of the document?", "cdbf0293-1fec-4ee3-a98e-faebfbb6eca8": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "28c03c81-a995-4590-a741-ba782cf20dba": "How does Trillian's reaction to the destruction of Earth reflect her emotional state and her connection to her home planet? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "205c351c-c0aa-42b9-b987-f5a77088cb59": "Discuss Zaphod's internal struggle and his vague feeling of being \"not all there.\" How does this contribute to the development of his character and his actions throughout the story? Use evidence from the text to support your response.", "801efec3-741c-4549-9820-4374c49f754f": "What is the significance of the dark nebula in the Horsehead Nebula? Explain why it is the only place in the Galaxy where a dark screen would be seen.", "73fc3f7c-3ed5-4649-8bbf-6058a0625b94": "Describe the events that led to the discovery of the planet at the exact coordinates predicted by Zaphod. How did the characters react to this discovery?", "1a7c9527-c5b5-43d9-a377-6a666932f0ae": "What is the significance of the red glare in the corner of the picture? How does it contribute to the description of the planet?", "78c86b15-30e4-418d-9a9a-73dd6b27888b": "Why does Zaphod describe the planet as the most improbable one ever existed? What characteristics or features make it so improbable?", "0d765f91-0995-454c-80b3-2fd1a6226e61": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 14?", "31ecf4f1-6fdb-4b93-b124-e12f1031e12e": "How many questions should be set up for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "d6505351-0479-4888-a199-bc3966c8d873": "How did the conditions on the settled worlds contribute to the creation of a specialist industry on Magrathea?", "9dc18b34-df27-4b90-86bf-16310b7e8f3c": "What were the consequences of the success of the custom-made luxury planet building industry on Magrathea?", "9afa9de3-1704-4037-a242-4bff492ce996": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 15?", "f325e509-c2df-4bdb-a6c1-99a5e1025d06": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "07e58638-9f6a-4d48-a8e7-41e9c70b3dca": "What is the argument between Ford and Zaphod about, and why does Ford believe that Magrathea is a myth?", "c8a051b4-5cf5-4612-b6bb-c0766f8da8c7": "How does the ship's computer, Eddie, respond to Zaphod's request for information about their trajectory, and why does Ford doubt the accuracy of the computer's response?", "fb93b959-6e90-4f0a-842e-674b59c2e0ae": "What is the significance of the binary sunrise on the planet Magrathea? How does Zaphod's reaction to it differ from Ford's?", "7103e7da-d822-4f2f-a81f-d322a41b0d86": "Describe the planet Magrathea as it is portrayed in the passage. What clues suggest that the planet is ancient and lifeless?", "7ef00fb4-f026-41fa-b65a-86d0f0a16f89": "What are the reasons mentioned by Zaphod for wanting to explore the planet Magrathea? How does Ford react to these reasons?", "a8486621-9071-4e9f-ace1-b4cc1cd0cc24": "How does the narrator describe the planet Magrathea? What is Ford's opinion about the planet and its potential wealth?", "6cf2e42b-bc5b-4dd3-b04f-1a4284aa95af": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 16?", "9a5b1e0e-7cfb-4bbe-9b0e-646c650f51a7": "How many questions should be included in the upcoming quiz/examination?", "6db00742-233f-4126-acc4-631a0c577b62": "How does the Nutri-Matic machine function and what is its purpose?", "fbea2d58-38e7-4ead-bb89-ac03539bb394": "What is the significance of the strange and inexplicable sound and voice that the characters encounter on the bridge?", "a957ddbb-c548-4145-a124-5db003b842a1": "What is the significance of the recorded message and the missiles in the given context? How do they contribute to the overall plot and tension in the story?", "5046363d-7748-487a-b9fa-6638c70b6932": "How does Zaphod's reaction to the recorded message and the missiles reflect his character traits? Discuss his attitude towards danger and his ability to handle unexpected situations.", "586e721d-0f0e-4c90-ac6f-4638a4a3f0c4": "What is the initial response of the crew when they realize they are being targeted by missiles? How does Zaphod attempt to take control of the situation?", "538f4a43-20f7-4d73-ae52-5b8884b41975": "Describe the actions taken by Ford to try and evade the oncoming missiles. How does the ship's guidance system malfunction and what is the result of Zaphod's desperate attempt to regain control?", "20f76be3-c389-43c6-b76f-97b962e5970b": "How does the computer's singing contribute to the chaotic situation on the ship during the missile attack? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "e20c5984-572b-46c1-9209-35afcdb0a30d": "Why does Arthur suggest turning on the Improbability Drive despite the potential risks? How does this decision reflect the characters' desperation and mindset in the face of imminent danger?", "670533a3-ea1d-4455-8ff3-c69edb619b93": "What is the significance of the phrase \"You'll never walk alone\" in the given context? How does it relate to the overall theme or message conveyed?", "608dcc1a-275c-4082-bf8b-157cc8ea106f": "Describe the sudden event that occurs after Trillian's question. What impact does this event have on the atmosphere or mood of the scene?", "3e104c30-5a0c-44c8-8f7d-28aee9aeb6cd": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 17?", "9c81f85e-3691-485a-9542-fc537d85faa9": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "9f1f4c60-be87-40d4-8dce-2d8d1eae5643": "How is the interior of the Heart of Gold described after its redesign? Provide details about the colors, decorations, and features mentioned in the passage.", "61ccf91b-91f7-49e6-941d-56c0677d2a99": "What happens to the missiles on the Heart of Gold? Explain the surprising transformation and the Improbability Factor mentioned in the passage.", "09825e06-ed8d-46f9-9dbd-1ec09e2a08fc": "In the given context, what is the significance of the sperm whale suddenly being called into existence above an alien planet? How does the whale react to its new existence and what are its thoughts during this time?", "6d2b80ef-5ca4-4cf1-b8ad-21cf7f50745a": "Based on the passage, what can be inferred about the bowl of petunias and its thoughts as it falls? How does this speculation relate to the nature of the universe?", "308d8eaa-25d7-4fa7-b0c0-97487fcb6979": "In Chapter 19, why does Ford express distaste towards Marvin the robot? How does Zaphod respond to Ford's question?", "3b050c7a-d914-44f5-a539-a9a07e35d7be": "What is the significance of Trillian's remark about her escaped white mice? How does Zaphod react to her concern?", "09e0e6e9-2c6e-4c54-9ca3-c5fceb63205c": "How does Ford demonstrate his independence from computers in the given context?", "6747f2fb-ae23-4aa5-bbb3-6d5b9139e4b1": "What is the significance of Eddie's response to Zaphod's threat to reprogram the computer?", "805029c1-552d-4968-b852-88d37e789f21": "What is the overall atmosphere and condition of the blighted land that the characters are exploring in Chapter 20?", "163774b6-221f-4211-ad20-088a535b6c9d": "Describe the discovery made by the characters at the top of the crater and explain their reaction to it.", "945004a0-f577-4cf2-bfc9-a9928398cc52": "In the passage, Zaphod suggests exploring an underground passage inside the planet. What is the reason he gives for wanting to go there? How do the other characters react to this suggestion?", "4dabd189-9785-4959-9305-95e5cc0c4453": "Marvin, the robot, expresses a negative view of life. How does he describe his feelings towards life? How does Arthur respond to Marvin's comment?", "2e0949d1-aee2-4e79-848f-562e3d0bcbc0": "In the passage, Zaphod mentions that the walls of the passageway are covered in dark tiles and the air is thick with decay. How does this description contribute to the overall atmosphere and mood of the scene? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "66430a37-b8e7-40db-bc1d-5b5cf03a6634": "Zaphod reveals that he doesn't know what he's looking for and suggests that if he knew, he wouldn't be able to look for it. How does this uncertainty and lack of purpose affect Zaphod's character and actions throughout the story? Use evidence from the passage to support your response.", "eda36a17-b6aa-40cc-832b-6b2e0ad4148c": "How did Zaphod discover that someone had locked off part of his mind? What tests did he perform to confirm his suspicions?", "abd1c8ee-cda1-4907-a09f-67fd75e71a9d": "What initials were burnt into Zaphod's brain, and what significance do they hold?", "9b9ccb90-c145-446e-907f-34408fd891ba": "What were the areas of study pursued by Veet Voojagig at the University of Maximegalon before his obsession with biros?", "c650dd7f-a05c-44d5-b85c-14efd2dd2154": "What happened to Veet Voojagig after he claimed to have found the planet of biro life forms?", "df58aa7f-85f8-420e-9b64-2df0c373f939": "In the given context, describe the significance of the sunset that Arthur witnessed on Magrathea. How does Arthur's description of the sunset contrast with Marvin's opinion?", "7ebd5e96-f2c8-4dad-b5e4-2beebca6efe0": "Based on the information provided, explain Arthur's reaction to the presence of the old man in the dark. How does the rapid nightfall and lack of moonlight contribute to this situation?", "847a91df-51be-4c32-8254-5e2979312d59": "Who is the man that Arthur encounters on the dead planet, and what is his demeanor like?", "dd614132-c24c-4017-a326-f154bde66bbc": "Why does the man explain that the automatic system on the planet shoots missiles occasionally, and what is his connection to science?", "e2d2957d-968c-40e2-a903-56e569003627": "How did the economic recession affect the inhabitants of the custom-made planets?", "7669aeda-ddf6-42e3-ace3-28bcc8a4b619": "What was the purpose of programming the computers to revive the inhabitants after the recession?", "0b64cdbd-9e09-4a1e-949e-ccc399421c52": "In the given context, describe the protagonist's initial reaction to the old man and his aircar. How does this reaction contribute to the overall atmosphere of the scene?", "15a195cb-6a8f-4323-9259-173dc9ea6990": "Analyze the significance of the old man's name, Slartibartfast, in relation to the story. How does the author use this name to convey a sense of mystery and intrigue?", "b417bbfb-0b7c-4ac9-96e2-2059477b7a19": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 22?", "9ef34d7d-36b7-4593-b7c7-8141a4f7eb80": "Can you provide a brief overview of the content covered in Chapter 22?", "3524aae7-1a60-4a7b-b6bd-29a821a28f0e": "How did the dolphins' attempts to communicate with mankind about the impending destruction of the planet Earth get misinterpreted? What was the ultimate outcome of their efforts?", "5af81009-fd9e-4ae0-aa97-69f194ba7829": "What species on the planet was more intelligent than dolphins, and how did they manipulate and misinterpret their relationship with humans?", "aeac4cfa-553f-4bbd-b36a-f486a74d6b91": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 23?", "fe0119b3-e6ff-4a90-8efb-d4b75965d2d5": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "6114b8f1-fb5b-4e93-b94c-e106828c09bc": "How does the author describe the sense of motion experienced by Arthur and his companion in the aircar?", "c9a86e9c-985b-43ed-83a1-0341fe53d7ee": "What is the significance of the dim irritating light at the end of the chamber in the silver tunnel?", "dfab6103-beaf-49a8-868c-fcb38dd23f5b": "What is the significance of the chamber that Slartibartfast and Arthur are about to pass into? How does it differ from the rest of Magrathea?", "eefdde97-9c56-49e4-9ccf-be740a3b9ef3": "Describe the wall that Arthur and Slartibartfast encounter in the vast tract of hyperspace. What are its characteristics and dimensions?", "03da39c5-5402-44b3-b27a-d799185114d2": "What is the significance of the flash of light that arced through the structure and revealed patterns on the dark sphere within? How does it impact Arthur's understanding of the situation?", "cf8324bd-658c-48c0-a9a6-137418276df9": "Explain the role of mice in the creation and destruction of the Earth. How does Arthur's perception of mice differ from the reality presented by Slartibartfast?", "f4e45856-dcd9-4bde-8a56-6d59f1b15716": "How does the old man's revelation about the true nature of mice challenge our understanding of these creatures? Discuss the implications of mice being hyperintelligent pandimensional beings and how it relates to their behavior and our own understanding of learning processes.", "bde7bc71-9dc7-42af-a19b-a780303995e9": "Explain the concept of mice being used as subjects in behavioral research, drawing parallels to Pavlov's experiments. How does this knowledge shed light on the mice's ability to disguise their true nature and manipulate human thinking? Discuss the cumulative effect of their calculated actions and the significance of Earth and its inhabitants in their research program.", "8aedd45f-0e83-457c-9876-dcf50022a8b3": "In the context of the passage, what was the purpose of the hyperintelligent pandimensional beings building a super computer?", "b1318b80-3fb4-4a00-82e7-c41138c71c80": "Describe the setting of the executive office where the main console of the super computer was installed.", "7ad9e012-d513-4973-813b-10334b3c4a98": "How does Deep Thought describe itself and why does it consider itself the second greatest computer in the Universe of Space and Time?", "71c6c894-b27a-4918-99b2-d63f3573d4d1": "What future computer does Deep Thought predict and what is its significance in relation to Deep Thought's own capabilities?", "a78c75fc-17a2-4a25-909b-951f64cb4911": "How does Deep Thought respond to the request for \"the Answer\" to life, the universe, and everything? What does this reveal about Deep Thought's capabilities and limitations?", "b618c8a8-9662-41cc-a545-68e1b95e34d8": "Describe the entrance of Majikthise and Vroomfondel into the room. What do their demands and arguments reveal about their roles and perspectives as philosophers?", "e564cff4-64c3-4a9e-aaac-b75108726f8b": "How does the concept of demarcation contribute to the conflict between the working thinkers and the machines in the given context?", "43e37efd-07aa-4faa-9525-9ccbf2f8f703": "Discuss the implications of Deep Thought's proposal for the philosophers in terms of their career and media market.", "42dfd3ac-8dfa-475e-a282-76b229d463ef": "What is the significance of the Sens-O-Tape records mentioned in the passage? How do they relate to the events that occurred seven and a half million years later on the great day of the Answer?", "5a68e39f-ce56-4c3c-9d50-1bd6059f2739": "Why does Arthur decline Slartibartfast's invitation to take a quick stroll on the surface of New Earth? How does Slartibartfast's response indicate that the experience wouldn't be the same?", "7bbe86ef-55c2-48a2-8e7f-79565fb89c11": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 26?", "84f1ed30-6866-480b-9934-6de4c8e9841d": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "1a15d252-0f8f-4176-9dd9-119c05b2f05c": "What caused the mess in Slartibartfast's study and what was the consequence of it?", "a9c6ba10-dda8-4112-b587-0863bfa1bbe1": "Describe the scene that Arthur witnessed while suspended in mid-air.", "7aa52cbc-a9a8-4c02-8f4d-b2d705d397fc": "How does Arthur's experience of gliding through the air and passing through a solid glass window contribute to the overall understanding of the recorded projection in the room?", "448d6a73-dd29-47ba-b4de-18b068a8412a": "What is the significance of the word \"Loonquawl\" and \"Phouchg\" appearing by the necks of the two men in the recorded projection? How does this contribute to the anticipation of hearing the computer speak?", "5cce96e5-84c3-4689-bfc4-f1a90bee4f04": "In the context of the given information, explain the significance of the number \"42\" as revealed by Deep Thought. How does this answer relate to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?", "932f84af-5ad9-41c7-928e-0f4d00c271b3": "Discuss the reactions of Loonquawl and Phouchg when they learn the answer from Deep Thought. How does their anticipation and excitement contrast with their ultimate disappointment?", "24862d84-19f8-4941-85b5-730a1835c84b": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 27?", "0b5d6bed-e75c-4e37-ba10-9a807cf41477": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "7dc31a1f-d5b5-445f-8d89-5d859a6f7bb1": "What is the significance of the number 42 in the given context? How does it relate to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?", "773f6d2d-f23c-45d0-978f-fd5962eb83f7": "How does Deep Thought's response to the men's disappointment reflect its character? Discuss the implications of Deep Thought's inability to provide the Ultimate Question.", "a1fc9b86-4878-4f9c-aa61-2c5c7ff324e0": "How does Deep Thought describe the computer that is to come after him and what is its purpose?", "3de6b1c6-8666-4e5a-9799-6d29e3ca64bb": "What happens to Phouchg, Loonquawl, and the computer console when Deep Thought reveals the name of the computer he will design?", "72c398c7-b729-488c-835d-c05c815be7c5": "What is the significance of the gold ground in the context? How does Zaphod react to it and what does it reveal about his character?", "c80962da-0919-41d8-86ab-c9a69b5c59d6": "Explain the concept of Sens-O-Tape and its role in the story. How does it affect the characters and their perception of reality?", "f594d36e-82fd-45fc-a2ec-f750bee55d6a": "What were the different scenes that Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian encountered on their journey? How did they react to each scene?", "21ac42ea-4601-4a6d-a75e-d49116403a7e": "How did Zaphod come to the realization that he had done something to his own mind? What clues led him to this conclusion?", "4edab485-b093-4802-8a99-ed26cd5da6cf": "In the given context, who is Yooden Vranx and what role did he play in Zaphod's plan to steal the Heart of Gold?", "c3fc97e2-cb49-42f1-b5a4-5c66cdd47a58": "How does Zaphod's conversation with Yooden Vranx reveal his motivations for wanting to become President of the Galaxy and steal the Heart of Gold?", "634525c1-b233-4fbd-a02f-436b3333c077": "In the given context, describe the setting of the waiting room. What elements contribute to its luxurious atmosphere?", "7bbdd400-0897-4296-9850-887d3bcb6228": "Who is the tall Magrathean man mentioned in the context? What is his role and why is he important in the situation?", "16c6f2e6-7dbd-4759-8e0a-1acc8df12f22": "According to Slartibartfast, what was the reason for the destruction of Earth just before the program was completed?", "7f86724a-ddc7-4894-8e59-496ab2a1f84f": "How does Slartibartfast's perspective on finding out what is really going on in the world differ from Arthur's?", "4bb1c24e-d11f-4b62-abf2-1a925cbbbe2d": "In the given context, what does Arthur prioritize over being right?", "5367c5fd-dc2c-49ee-a605-c23d365625cb": "According to Slartibartfast, why is Arthur's arrival on the planet considered one of the most improbable events in the history of the Universe?", "1167ceaa-67fc-4926-8dad-d34c8dd1f051": "How did Arthur's seemingly innocent comment about his lifestyle lead to a centuries-long war between two alien species?", "44287e6d-4b3e-4568-b769-e35ba2121c57": "What was the outcome of the battle between the two opposing battle fleets and how did it inadvertently affect Earth?", "07bf3e53-8cb2-42b3-b01e-9624de6e4c76": "In the given context, what is the significance of the mice on the table and why are they considered important by the characters?", "8b9f8385-2616-4ea3-9dc5-e010ee5baad1": "Explain the conflict between Slartibartfast and the mice regarding the fate of the new Earth. How does this conflict reflect the characters' values and priorities?", "098dd6d0-1b37-4fef-8193-cb275fa9d225": "What is the purpose of the mice in running Earth for the past ten million years? How do they feel about continuing this task?", "5e4e45ef-c39f-453f-be13-3049b2a35ff8": "Why do the mice need to find the Ultimate Question? How does their need for a compelling question relate to their potential chat show and lecture circuit?", "8b8c6f14-8493-4854-93ed-22dee65d7e71": "In the context of the given information, explain the significance of the computer matrix and its relationship to the protagonist's brain. How does this concept contribute to the overall plot of the story?", "77f06310-9434-4327-b94d-c32c4a6a7625": "Analyze the ethical implications of the mice's proposal to buy Arthur's brain. Discuss the potential consequences and moral dilemmas that arise from the idea of replacing a human brain with an electronic one.", "e585db18-e182-4911-a4d4-93d0d1b1a36a": "How does Trillian attempt to save Arthur from the impending danger, and what is his reaction to her efforts?", "491563c6-e80f-4595-a0c2-903916055ea9": "Describe the situation that Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian find themselves in when they open the door, and explain why it is fortunate that the alarms on the planet go off at that moment.", "f7618a0c-7448-48e1-b98c-94912e798b69": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 31 of the document?", "353660bb-2d74-472c-a6ab-67416bf8ef4a": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "872f33c2-e926-4d9d-a863-04196dec6b8a": "In the given context, what is the significance of the question \"How many roads must a man walk down?\" and why is the answer \"Forty-two\" considered excellent by the characters Frankie and Benji?", "97ebfcda-0e84-4362-a6b8-d53a6487ca37": "Describe the actions and reactions of the two mice, Frankie and Benji, when they discover the armed intruders in section 8A. How do their thoughts and ideas differ when it comes to inventing a plausible question?", "8e6ae76b-97cf-4457-b507-af66ce7bf97c": "In the given context, why did Zaphod and his companions run down a gangway between two computer banks when they were confronted by the cops?", "69bbd72a-d08b-4de5-a39a-73ded7d6566b": "How do the cops justify their actions of shooting at Zaphod and his group?", "61a360f0-e01f-421a-a953-33caa440a423": "In the given context, why did the cops threaten to blow up the entire planet and possibly others?", "3ec108ab-1996-45e4-9ab0-2aa16b45a881": "Describe the actions and attitude of the cops towards the protagonists in the given context.", "06148cfa-925d-41ce-b205-74fc9230a50f": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 32?", "3e5acf47-3d6c-4ea7-a2cb-3ff40c0cb99f": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "c22d4a05-7dae-4930-ba0d-f3d9e06e488f": "What is the significance of the sudden silence and the strangled gurgles and thuds in the given passage? How does it contribute to the overall plot development?", "d0d1a38f-c831-4023-9a72-9ced28f9ef0d": "Analyze Ford's reaction and actions when he decides to investigate the situation. How does his behavior reflect his character traits and his role in the story?", "5851c258-4c99-4951-a07e-ac2839712b6d": "How does the discovery of the dead cop from Blagulon Kappa with a blown-up miniature suit computer challenge the assumptions about the fail-safe nature of the sub-etha linked systems?", "e198ed90-5a73-4bf0-ad77-e78e99f19cd2": "What is the significance of Slartibartfast's empty aircar and the note with an arrow pointing to a control, suggesting it as the best button to press?", "e8c7c4f1-c778-484d-a6cb-22ecc63e1dae": "What is the significance of the R17 velocity measure in the context of the story? How does it relate to the characters' well-being and the potential consequences of not adhering to it?", "161f0b95-9ecb-41eb-bc8e-eb594f445cc7": "Describe the appearance and condition of the Blagulon Kappa policecraft. What details suggest that the ship and its crew are no longer functioning?", "2fde2cfe-15c5-4091-b301-ff35bdce2ccf": "How does Marvin's behavior reflect his perception of himself and his interactions with others in the universe?", "a77a0f34-141e-4bed-96ff-7edc34271d43": "What is the significance of the policecraft's reaction to Marvin's conversation with its computer, and how does it contribute to the overall theme of depression in the passage?", "20f4115c-c182-408b-9ef1-e75e5d7328cc": "According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, what are the three distinct phases that every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through? Provide examples of each phase.", "6aafd68e-7f14-402b-9048-60244cb9d551": "How does Zaphod's invitation to Arthur to dine at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe relate to the three phases mentioned in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Explain the significance of this invitation in the context of the story.", "f573278d-9712-4e45-b17a-a11b2a0ef6cd": "In \"The Restaurant at the End of the Universe,\" what is the significance of the title and how does it relate to the overall theme of the book?", "8c76138d-e2b5-4060-b570-f8c480922976": "Discuss the role of the author, Douglas Adams, in shaping the narrative and style of \"The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.\"", "511d194a-efb1-43f0-9169-4eb218ccc4bd": "How does the process of transferring plain text to PDF differ from other file formats?", "3fd64458-8544-445d-bc73-986f3de9f5d3": "What are the advantages of using a PDF format for documents compared to plain text?", "c3ad7459-084e-489d-af7c-7d9ca8e79841": "Who are some of the individuals mentioned in the context information and what contributions did they make to the book?", "0d9e2aa4-751d-4b85-b831-ba6be2b4bf63": "How did the Paul Simon album \"One Trick Pony\" influence the writing process of the book mentioned in the context information?", "1569ae29-389d-4db9-b6f9-d9f420edf316": "What is the significance of the number 4 in the given context information?", "db9beb54-24ff-4252-9538-180dc25f95e9": "How does the context information relate to the role of a teacher/professor?", "59c7a31e-a334-4624-9308-55b2e29bc6a8": "What is the sum of the numbers at index 3 and index 15 in the given context information?", "5a76b96e-7133-4622-9f3b-d3312d8a4857": "Find the difference between the largest and smallest numbers in the given context information.", "78cd06ee-42e4-4637-ac2f-fac9950d0a38": "What is the sum of the numbers in the range 21 to 34?", "7f2333c8-395c-40bc-8485-77c87cd869d1": "Identify the two numbers in the range 25 to 30 that are perfect squares.", "b59db515-0a04-4f61-a561-52aae32360d9": "According to the context information, what are the two theories mentioned regarding the purpose and existence of the Universe?", "50d3cc15-0995-4ebc-89aa-52941348b43d": "How does the concept of the Universe disappearing and being replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable relate to the theories mentioned in the context information?", "8d710311-8b10-4cae-936a-e48ab5bc8836": "What is the purpose of Chapter 0 in the document? Provide examples of the topics covered in this chapter.", "e680bb40-92e9-4086-94f0-2a7ca62d1606": "How does the diversity of the questions in Chapter 0 contribute to the overall understanding of the document? Explain the significance of having diverse content in educational materials.", "fb4cd826-9d18-4524-a3bb-c3badc6277ef": "What are the different beliefs about the creation of the Universe mentioned in the context? How do the Jatravartid people's beliefs differ from others?", "df9787c4-e818-44a6-b6f6-ec37b641dd5d": "Explain the purpose and significance of Deep Thought, the supercomputer built by hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings. What was the answer it provided and what was the subsequent challenge faced in finding the actual question?", "8497dd7a-17f6-4b58-ba0a-4e5ce7b189a3": "In the context of the given information, explain the significance of Tricia McMillian and Zaphod Beeblebrox in the experiment to find the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe, and Everything.", "0fdfcc40-a279-4fef-92ca-ab7067afcdbc": "Based on the context, describe the potential consequences for the two survivors if the Vogon ship reaches them.", "29e1ebd1-0ee5-4ed2-ad33-f240e4888b5e": "What are some characteristics of Vogon ships and Vogons themselves, as described in the passage? How do these characteristics contribute to their overall appearance and behavior?", "1a7f86c6-def6-47a4-9088-fa28635b569d": "Discuss the role and attitude of Captain Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz towards the job of demolishing the planet Earth. How does his indifference towards Zaphod Beeblebrox and the stolen ship reflect his priorities and motivations?", "cdd533fe-f502-476f-9d04-fe93352dfbaa": "How does the character Gag Halfrunt manipulate the Vogon captain to carry out his dirty work, despite the captain's aggressive instincts?", "a3b85189-84c8-48cd-b1ab-c4bdb7446f50": "Discuss the contrasting attitudes towards violence and aggression displayed by the Vogon captain and Gag Halfrunt, and how these attitudes reflect their respective professions.", "5703022a-1903-41f0-9487-7963b94673ed": "In the given context, what is the significance of Zaphod Beeblebrox stealing the Heart of Gold ship and becoming President of the Galaxy? How does this relate to his personality and motivations?", "5c459a2b-58c8-4c61-b992-e41e48d30050": "Describe the role and capabilities of the Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesizer on the ship. How does Arthur Dent's previous experience with the machine influence his expectations for finding a cup of tea?", "76dad002-5571-4798-8fbe-840c9bc6cfde": "In the context of the passage, what is the significance of the phrase \"Share and Enjoy\" and how does it relate to the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division?", "a3f0b238-7d75-42cb-bd50-4e588995957f": "How does Arthur's interaction with the Nutri-Matic machine highlight the theme of miscommunication and frustration in the passage?", "55d74966-f780-4da7-89b5-81a21faf2ab6": "How does the Nutri-Matic respond to Arthur's request for tea, and what does this reveal about its capabilities and attitude?", "118368f4-2626-461a-9dc1-7a0aabeb006e": "Describe the interaction between the Nutri-Matic and the ship's computer regarding the concept of tea. What does this interaction suggest about the limitations or challenges of the Nutri-Matic's programming?", "0750e14a-cd26-4aaa-b303-d839db3dbe7c": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 2?", "b5a6d9a9-821d-4a13-909c-91f10d271f60": "How many questions should be set up for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "0af60711-12bd-4322-a7e0-b392b657f2a3": "What is the significance of the yellow lump on the vision screen and how does it relate to the characters' actions on the bridge?", "2db0c306-f978-4327-b8ac-42c2d08d43f2": "How does Arthur's past experience of playing football relate to his current situation on the spaceship?", "c00ef529-57c2-437f-9820-00f16921be43": "How does Arthur Dent's interaction with the computer in the spaceship create tension and suspense in the story? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "28e6d93d-817a-468f-b366-b3f3a0871c5a": "Discuss the role of Zaphod Beeblebrox in the story and how his decision to hold a seance reflects his character. What does this reveal about his attitude towards death and his relationships with others? Use evidence from the text to support your response.", "33caa6b2-0c05-44f9-99bd-64a829eef8f4": "In the given context, why does Zaphod Beeblebrox want to talk to his great grandfather? How does he believe his great grandfather can help them?", "9a71fd3d-606e-4126-acde-cf85019b4637": "Describe the actions taken by Zaphod and his companions in their attempt to concentrate and seek assistance from Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. What is the outcome of their efforts?", "979a1965-32e7-4e26-b313-42be492f2784": "Who is the small, bent, gaunt figure standing by the sprays of fern at the far end of the bridge, and how does he react to being disturbed?", "b4475bd7-4d3e-4bfe-a8a8-3a701bde4301": "How does Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth feel about his great grandson, Zaphod Beeblebrox the Nothingth, and what does he accuse him of?", "b765c277-1af8-4fdc-9937-7fc0933495ef": "How does Zaphod's exaggerated claim of being attacked by a Vogon fleet contribute to the overall point he is trying to make in the conversation with the spectral ancestor?", "7764bd81-6a9c-4138-b5d8-fdd3b902d9c4": "In what ways does Zaphod's great grandfather criticize and belittle Zaphod's accomplishments, particularly his role as President of the Galaxy?", "04672424-87c4-4c40-b71a-a0a783087939": "How does Zaphod Beeblebrox's role as President of the Galaxy impact his ability to know and care about certain things? Provide examples from the context information to support your answer.", "216c1a81-932f-468a-ba07-8e7ca6c6a470": "Discuss the significance of the ghost's statement, \"Life is wasted on the living,\" in relation to Zaphod Beeblebrox's journey as President of the Galaxy. How does this statement reflect the challenges and choices Zaphod faces?", "1f7f6388-d909-4906-b377-e9e4b257efea": "What is the significance of the \"Improbability Drive\" in the context of the story? How does it control Zaphod and impact his actions?", "0db8331c-7d51-4740-aabb-cb3008c5ac73": "Discuss the role of the ghost in the passage. How does the ghost's interaction with Zaphod reveal important information about the power dynamics in the galaxy?", "6788be31-e834-4b79-b8a9-34d4d8e53eb1": "How does the Heart of Gold travel through time and space in the given context information?", "bbf11711-16a2-40ff-ada8-cc7bfd2a5b41": "What effect does the billowing smoke have on the Heart of Gold in the given context information?", "6d4bd11e-9a43-44e0-a5e7-eb6790fc006e": "How does Gag Halfrunt feel about the destruction of the Heart of Gold and the end of the experiment to find the Ultimate Question?", "488ce6be-3151-49bb-80ec-17818b954250": "What is the significance of Zaphod and Marvin's disappearance on the ship, and how does it contribute to the overall tension and mystery in the story?", "d1e2bba7-c667-4eac-b6ad-fa4f4a3d0c59": "What was inside the silver teapot that Arthur tasted and found to be the best tea he had ever had?", "1ce515f7-d80a-429a-a538-864076fa6a93": "What did the small printed note say and what was its significance in the context of the story?", "e02cf5c1-a94b-4854-be95-d50416b9b6d9": "How does the unique topography of Ursa Minor Beta contribute to its reputation as an appealing tourist destination?", "5a650f54-09d0-424a-a65f-8fe1ac0aa698": "Discuss the significance of the tall building in Light City and its connection to a copyright lawsuit.", "6c5107d7-df63-4b6f-9722-be2b6c4dfdd3": "In the context of the passage, what are the two important advantages of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy over the Encyclopaedia Galactica?", "4cda1651-0a7a-410d-b4b0-ab789886ee5e": "Based on the passage, why were the hitch-hikers from Algol angry and bewildered?", "8ae841d6-76f1-4587-8d32-48e8aea7d399": "How do the Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger? Explain their functionality and purpose.", "c2f70c29-0382-4bb0-87ae-a8662a54b079": "Why does Zaphod initially resist the clear and distinct thoughts that pop into his mind? Discuss the significance of these thoughts and their impact on Zaphod's actions.", "0f9b1e4f-4476-4b45-936e-80c1c4d09fcb": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 5?", "39343bdf-7686-4173-930b-3650d74839f8": "How many questions should be set up for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "f1be67a2-e1d9-414e-8022-a6a4fe997896": "How does the large pink-winged insect feel about working for the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Provide evidence from the text to support your answer.", "5f262795-e0e1-4132-bae0-2d9f4e4369a9": "Explain the consequences mentioned in the notice on the wall and how they relate to the accuracy of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.", "3f6c0056-3129-4c51-8c84-09a4af04fa87": "In the given context, why did the judges hold Life itself in contempt of court? Provide a detailed explanation of their reasoning and the events leading up to this decision.", "3ce0fff8-596e-4231-8afc-a37392631a45": "Based on the conversation between Zaphod Beeblebrox and the insect receptionist, discuss the significance of Zaphod's statement, \"I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.\" How does this statement reflect Zaphod's character and attitude?", "b61569b3-ad54-47dc-b62d-2561b1dce636": "In the given context, why does Zaphod Beeblebrox want to see Mr Zarniwoop? Provide specific details from the text to support your answer.", "91e93434-4bad-4499-8893-36693ad0d307": "How does Marvin, the robot, respond to the insect's accusation of not having gratitude circuits? Explain the significance of this interaction in the context of the story.", "9d48c278-f756-45f6-8acd-fc8ef327bdab": "How does Marvin feel about his existence and why?", "172261ed-c931-463f-a846-3a70fbbc5a33": "What is Zaphod's reaction to Marvin's sudden appearance and how does he try to engage in conversation with him?", "36389966-be32-4712-a311-2972c02f95f1": "How does the elevator in the story demonstrate its fear of the future? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "87aca6c5-3e91-46ba-aaa8-80aa13529d17": "Discuss the concept of \"defocused temporal perception\" as it relates to modern elevators. How does this ability impact the elevator's functionality and the experience of its users?", "70b1582d-9706-472c-bf87-2aad4c7f5a49": "How does the description of the corridor and the building in the passage contribute to the overall atmosphere and tension in the scene?", "e375cf85-1987-418f-8694-6db1a9746010": "Discuss the significance of the appearance of the man who calls out to Zaphod and warns him about the bombing. How does this character's introduction add to the suspense and plot development in the story?", "8701e8f8-d8f8-497f-8096-c28ef78aa682": "What are the different classes of Frogstar Scout robots mentioned in the passage? How do they differ from each other in terms of their appearance or capabilities?", "5eed82d9-bf91-4bb8-9b6a-bb47ab100813": "Describe the encounter between Zaphod and the Frogstar Scout robots. How does Marvin contribute to the situation?", "3cc6106d-e395-43c2-8fac-d1b368292399": "In Chapter 6, what is the main topic or subject being discussed?", "6d630d07-23d8-4f3a-a468-b02ed51a4cb8": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "2ee20699-ce28-4099-950e-618a758fd73a": "In Chapter 7, why does Marvin appear small compared to the black tank? How does Marvin attempt to stop the tank?", "dd9390c5-7923-4164-bd36-26b93c562735": "What is Zaphod's reaction when he enters the undecorated office and finds it empty? Who is the man he meets in the office and what does he reveal about Zarniwoop's whereabouts?", "b57831e6-cbfe-4b15-a3b2-74c6b510d2f6": "In the given context, what is Marvin's response when the battle machine suggests various weapons to stop the spaceship?", "482aa9b5-937b-4c7a-bb51-4a078f0ee807": "How does Marvin highlight the difference in treatment between himself and the battle machine, and what does he reveal about the weapon he was given to protect himself?", "7deee091-c687-4786-923a-64673db5848e": "In the given context, describe the interaction between Marvin and the machine. How does Marvin feel about being left behind by the machine? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "0f511ed2-1376-4921-a6c5-acc6db84a864": "Analyze the destructive actions of the machine in the passage. How does the machine's behavior reflect its emotions? Discuss the impact of the machine's actions on the surroundings and Marvin's response.", "2aec47dc-5974-4102-a622-3eeda5602c22": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 7 of the document?", "32af1114-9af5-430a-a563-5b0b84636a9f": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "92834837-baff-4361-8285-d394b4db89fc": "In Chapter 8, why are the Frogstar Fighters surrounding the building and taking it away? What is Zaphod's reaction to this situation?", "6c85d5d4-9e78-47a4-b544-7a380c29f78b": "On the bridge of the Heart of Gold, Arthur makes a significant move in the game he is playing. Describe the move he makes and its impact on the game.", "d3a6166a-27d3-4bda-a407-772cfd83a01e": "What is the purpose of the ship's shaking and rocking in the context of the story? How does Ford Prefect feel about it?", "bb453f4b-37b1-4e26-b2e2-7573e5b62a0c": "What is the Total Perspective Vortex and why does Zaphod Beeblebrox find it concerning?", "085ea71b-119d-4005-b160-6c834d6d5836": "How does Roosta describe the e\ufb00ect of the Total Perspective Vortex on a person's soul? How long does the treatment last and what is the lasting e\ufb00ect?", "b6a5f011-19bb-492f-8622-834303310804": "Why does Zaphod want to meet a cook instead of the man who rules the Universe? How does Roosta respond to Zaphod's question and what does it reveal about their relationship?", "37cfdb7a-279b-4829-b139-d0c1216bda56": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 8 of the document?", "cde9fa28-ce5a-47d9-84cb-7032e5c1b2b5": "How many questions should be prepared for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "ba0499df-5842-49a8-8753-5d0a6f30daf1": "What is the significance of the steel dome on the second planet of the Frogstar system? Describe its appearance and its reputation in the Galaxy.", "2444d5c2-f0a3-405f-998d-eaa7c0a199fb": "Explain the desolate conditions on the second planet of the Frogstar system. Discuss the characteristics of the wind, the landscape, and the remaining inhabitants.", "78a11dc2-d028-430d-8cb7-171aae73616f": "In the given context, why did Roosta instruct Zaphod to leave the building through the window instead of the door?", "c56b320b-6ffb-4184-8f46-e2a4e75e08ef": "Describe the appearance of the large black bird that landed on the window ledge near Zaphod.", "5848c35f-f396-45dc-b1fd-db5d922a136d": "In the given context, who or what is Gargravarr and what is his role in the story?", "62e335f2-e14c-4668-8021-7f326f7a9a6b": "Describe Zaphod's encounter with the talking bird and the disembodied voice. How does he react to these unusual experiences?", "9eaf2aa6-dc5a-4519-9ec4-58d3d6e8d831": "In the given context, why does Zaphod want to delay entering the Vortex? Provide evidence from the text to support your answer.", "cc9027fa-c0c5-4ff7-8d43-b8f6aaf63d5e": "Describe the role of Gargravarr in the story. How does he guide Zaphod towards the Vortex? Use specific details from the text to support your response.", "fc7df07a-fbdc-48bd-a6c8-e4571a065968": "In the context of the chapter, why do most beings tend to ignore the fact that the Universe is an unsettlingly big place?", "98de4d04-30b3-43b0-bbba-c4f2ed15ae6e": "Based on the description of the Total Perspective Vortex, explain why it is considered horrific and how it affects individuals who experience it.", "f2ed32d7-bec7-4c9c-a0ab-31ae14504f4a": "How does Gargravarr describe the relationship between his mind and his body? What are the reasons for their separation and what implications does it have for Gargravarr's role as the Custodian of the Total Perspective Vortex?", "3add5638-8eb8-42ed-b5dc-5177d1953ed7": "Describe the economic phenomenon that led to the collapse of the planet. How did the proliferation of shoe shops contribute to the downfall of the economy and what were the consequences for the population?", "d06f507d-58ed-46e1-aa16-fd70501e3f22": "What is the purpose of the Total Perspective Vortex and why was it built on this particular planet?", "3fefdf16-7577-4a03-8d69-e6eef349a17e": "Describe Zaphod's experience as he enters the elevator and descends into the small steel-lined chamber.", "d42fa305-92c7-44d3-a688-0f01a5f78d13": "What action did the person in the context information take that resulted in the entire Universe being present in the box with them?", "03328856-6226-457a-a22e-22ee80e01b11": "How long did the person wait inside the box before the entire Universe appeared?", "d7129290-80ea-4a7b-ba8d-69eaac53bd70": "How does the Total Perspective Vortex work and what was its purpose according to the passage?", "3371dc79-37c8-41d9-941a-454e234fd959": "What was the outcome of Trin Tragula's experiment with the Total Perspective Vortex and what conclusion did he draw from it?", "dc0785c3-5c27-4ecc-ae38-e123e09a5d7f": "In the given context, what does Zaphod Beeblebrox's experience in the \"in\ufb01nity of creation\" reveal about his self-perception?", "2fb63a4a-f4aa-4e9c-a323-cb9378fcf26d": "How does Zaphod Beeblebrox's behavior towards the piece of fairy cake reflect his character and priorities?", "3dd80de6-0da4-4062-a834-0d50ea2326b6": "What is the significance of Zaphod's recent experience in seeing the whole Universe? How does this knowledge affect his actions and mindset?", "9d8d58e3-9969-4094-a3aa-ec0fb83c8695": "Describe the abandoned city that Zaphod is exploring. What obstacles does he encounter and how does he navigate through them?", "ee495b44-895d-4da6-94e5-693faf6bd09a": "What is the significance of Zaphod's discovery of the old ship in the building? How does this discovery impact the overall plot of the story?", "19abe1fa-ce50-4f8c-acdc-ddd11fa37d87": "Describe the condition of the spacecrafts that Zaphod encounters in the building. How does the condition of the old ship differ from the others? What clues does this provide about the ship's history?", "fc5f4c75-5017-4299-8bfd-0e92db7551e5": "What is the initial reaction of Zaphod when he enters the passenger compartment? How does this reaction contribute to the overall atmosphere of the scene?", "4e2997cc-d584-46e0-b58b-6b9add51eadf": "Describe the interaction between Zaphod and the autopilot on the flight deck. How does this interaction reveal Zaphod's character and his current state of mind?", "2d2de81b-cfa2-4de5-8272-b04d2b0628ed": "How does the autopilot justify the delay in departure and what is Zaphod's reaction to it?", "b980c16a-6a5a-4e57-9f57-c1ee652d1837": "Explain Zarniwoop's plan to protect himself and his secret, and how does Zaphod react to this revelation?", "7b355df9-6c3b-462b-8162-e979eb49f30c": "In the given context, what is the significance of the Improbability Drive ship and why was it important for Zaphod to bring it to Zarniwoop?", "e52c55fd-82d4-4048-a099-79c7a9c630a1": "Explain the concept of the Total Perspective Vortex and why Zaphod would not have survived it in the real universe.", "a32f91e0-4471-46b4-87c4-37a4e0ba1d67": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 12 of the document?", "ea3347be-9dd6-49ca-b463-49f30b9178cb": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "018fe2d2-e669-41e3-a447-25deefd5db30": "What is the significance of Ford Prefect's announcement about the ship being reactivated? How does it impact the situation on the bridge of the Heart of Gold?", "da44664b-bfe3-458d-9fb8-288feaf59f53": "Describe Zaphod's behavior and attitude upon entering the bridge. How does his interaction with the computer and his request for a place to eat contribute to the unexpected explosion?", "c209f3cc-363c-4348-8c87-1f6501e2fef4": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 13?", "7ad9fa45-261a-4952-b20a-4282a868632a": "How many questions should be set up for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "975f5416-a6ff-4b2f-9c50-4a7a6618c551": "In Chapter 14, what is the significance of the \"dark and bitter sea of heaving red\" that the bodies sink into? How does it contribute to the overall theme of the story?", "6ea55c1f-b854-4ca5-bede-57ac882dc440": "Analyze the interaction between the green blur and the characters in the afterlife. How does the green blur's demeanor and dialogue reflect the author's satirical tone?", "a8ec1138-4da9-4e65-8f6e-b2080236dc9b": "In the given context, what is the significance of the chandeliers and the marble-topped bar in the restaurant? How do these elements reflect the nature of the universe in which the characters find themselves?", "eb540b07-177f-4ca7-8587-bd6fdd1d6976": "Describe Arthur's reaction to the landscape outside the restaurant. How does this reaction differ from what would be considered \"normal circumstances\"? What does this reveal about the unusual nature of the situation the characters are in?", "c2b88d6c-5364-41b8-95f4-9998771f4e1f": "What important information did Zaphod and the others miss during their conversation?", "63bca71e-fc9f-48b7-b2b6-a53fce1102a2": "How does the waiter describe Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?", "5a96fa99-805e-4bf4-8619-8e0c5b3e7503": "In the given context, what is the significance of the waiter mentioning that his body is supplied with gases from a small intravenous device strapped to his leg? How does this detail contribute to the overall understanding of the scene?", "e04c5695-8546-4730-a7c3-404bf10c5d47": "Analyze the behavior of Zaphod in the context. How does his action of buying most of the bar reflect his character and contribute to the tone of the passage?", "72810c2d-0824-4a24-8265-786fa25e76a6": "According to Dr Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations, how would you describe an event that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days? How would the description of the event differ depending on whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past?", "0970b3ea-c889-42c4-ba1c-371a638c18f7": "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is built on the fragmented remains of an eventually ruined planet, enclosed in a vast time bubble and projected forward in time to the precise moment of the End of the Universe. Many would say this is impossible. Discuss the feasibility of such a venture and provide reasons for why it may or may not be possible.", "3790e93c-0930-4d97-a6f3-71b90aa9366a": "In the context of the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, explain why the concept of booking retrospectively is considered impossible. Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "17917b7c-f46b-4528-9c0b-527997abbc0a": "Discuss the significance of compound interest in relation to the payment for meals at the Restaurant at the End of Time. Why do some people consider this concept insane? Use evidence from the text to support your response.", "ae520a57-427c-41df-aab5-53140f0efdee": "In Chapter 16, why does Zaphod not want to meet the man who rules the Universe? How does his left head react to this statement?", "5913f795-c47f-45a0-80c2-fafef612680e": "What is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and why is it described as the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging?", "c7639d93-4a67-43cd-956f-b76d5de249ce": "How does the description of the Restaurant in the passage contribute to the overall atmosphere and setting of the story? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "dcf8a3b5-2574-497d-bc7a-5b5cf2310828": "In what ways does the dialogue between the characters reveal their reactions and attitudes towards the End of the Universe? Use evidence from the passage to support your response.", "76752735-c367-42c9-b3c0-0cc457fef59f": "Who is Hotblack Desiato and what is his significance in the story? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "0e460ab9-5a51-4324-a9c2-2936e62501b9": "Describe the relationship between Ford and Hotblack Desiato. How does Ford reminisce about their past and what does he reveal about Hotblack Desiato's current status? Use evidence from the text to support your response.", "23420e64-c621-4743-a165-2da2e8ab7c2e": "In the given context, describe the physical appearance and behavior of Hotblack Desiato. How does Ford react to his presence?", "f9fba4ac-5480-4fa3-830b-0b1982371a41": "What is the significance of Ford claiming to be one of Hotblack's oldest friends? How does Hotblack's lack of response contribute to the tension in the scene?", "75d5a841-6def-4cc9-9ac1-adbc29ce3cbc": "What is the role of the bodyguard in relation to Mr. Desiato and Ford's safety?", "762c2b97-1afa-4bcf-a65c-7b14e80aa0ba": "Why does Mr. Desiato refuse to speak to anyone, according to the bodyguard?", "628de02d-4528-4f69-a98a-aac4e20c7028": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 16?", "427e2058-a1c1-433f-b0dd-8e4d06385907": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "56c670c0-4f52-46b9-ba14-124f7bc10785": "In the context of the chapter, why are Disaster Area's concerts usually held in large concrete bunkers located miles away from the stage? How does the band overcome this distance to perform their music?", "85f42433-f08a-42bd-b03a-1a62f535c44c": "Based on the information provided, why have many worlds banned Disaster Area's act? What specific violation of local treaties do their public address systems commit?", "921b7510-ab49-46fc-8def-c327bd66158f": "Who is the host of Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and what is his famous act known for throughout the known Galaxy?", "c5f3cd00-4996-422b-8d84-4655057a3daa": "What happens when the lights dim down further in the Restaurant, and how do the diners react to it?", "65688251-3b4a-418b-be4b-8b3161b8adc8": "In the given context, describe the atmosphere and setting of the Restaurant as the Universe comes to an end. How does Max create a sense of anticipation and shock among the audience?", "87b56b3e-d942-4559-94a8-6fada4345b3e": "Analyze the interaction between Zaphod Beeblebrox and the main Dish of the Day. How does the animal's offer to be eaten reflect the absurdity and dark humor present in the story?", "773fdec0-b077-4145-9908-d03b2cb70e67": "In the given context, what is Arthur's objection to eating the animal that is being offered to him? How does Zaphod respond to Arthur's objection?", "750a0db5-ff8d-423e-8f8c-ca6e044094b7": "Describe the atmosphere and events taking place in the Restaurant as the universal cataclysm is approaching. How does Max, the performer, engage with the audience during this time?", "e2bba63c-ac88-48ab-b00d-b99a5380fdc2": "In the given context, what is Max's attitude towards the impending end of the universe? How does he engage with the audience to create a sense of excitement and anticipation?", "8a8efefe-672f-44ee-8428-68d0e53ec8cc": "Describe the comedic elements used by Max during his performance. How does he use humor to alleviate the audience's anxiety about the impending end of the universe?", "49a1c1b5-44bb-45c3-ac70-43256d3817a9": "In the given context, who are the believers from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon and how do they react to the audience's laughter?", "7648227e-9568-42c8-b24c-5d976241a5a5": "Explain the concept of the force-shielded temporal warp thing mentioned by Ford and its significance in relation to the impending end of the Universe.", "7ee4bd7c-bab2-413c-9526-1fe693f61a17": "How does Ford use the analogy of the napkin, spoon, and wine glass to explain the concept of the temporal Universe?", "3291c1a1-0496-4907-909a-1ce5bad9b5ea": "Describe Ford's clever idea for filming the sand or sugar twirling away in the conical bath.", "2b7d60fb-e6d7-419d-b960-f85c36583647": "In the given context, what is Ford's explanation for the beginning of the Universe and why does he find it relaxing?", "48f8f3f3-113a-4699-814e-129c8b08a431": "How does Zaphod react to the phone call and what information does the waiter provide about the person on the other end of the line?", "6ed5c82d-449c-4d5a-b511-696431163e8c": "In the context of the passage, explain the concept of time travel and its effect on space. How does the waiter's explanation clarify the situation for the characters?", "f6d39e9a-f21b-4014-bfae-6b86f9fc7d78": "Discuss the significance of Marvin, the Paranoid Android, in the passage. How does his dialogue contribute to the overall theme of the story?", "1769a538-4f4b-4a1c-8783-daf8a90bdb0d": "In the given context, what is the significance of Marvin's presence in the car park? How does this relate to the overall plot of the story?", "9adb5889-a5e3-4ae3-9e88-9db4213c1b61": "How does Zaphod's reaction to the End of the Universe contrast with the other diners? Discuss the implications of his statement that it is \"rubbish\" and a \"gnab gib.\"", "a84fcb52-1d09-405a-8d2b-ecd327f15b36": "What is the purpose of the cubicle that Zaphod takes Ford into in the main reception foyer?", "a4bec54e-0b8b-4988-b213-962a8fbee99e": "Describe the atmosphere and surroundings of the car park that Zaphod and Ford visit.", "cd8139cd-3a0e-4c53-a83c-5544ff7af536": "How does Marvin's attitude towards the people he meets in his job contribute to his overall dissatisfaction with his existence?", "be53eec8-c4e4-470b-8043-a551d1095d78": "Describe the unique features and capabilities of the small star trolley that Ford and Zaphod find intriguing.", "22edb94d-e183-433a-8062-fa0684c04524": "What are the dangers associated with flare-riding and why do participants in this sport often meet unfortunate fates?", "433a72cf-1934-4ece-a933-ef9e979c7b29": "Describe the appearance and features of Hotblack Desiato's ship. What makes it unique and why does it captivate Zaphod's attention?", "cd0c0624-a788-4429-94dd-376cf3ac5440": "What is the significance of the surface of the ship being described as \"totally frictionless\" in the given context? How does this impact Zaphod and Ford's decision-making process?", "af4237f3-5c77-4665-8f72-6d761f8dfbe2": "Describe the reaction and attitude of Marvin towards the prospect of opening the spaceship. How does his response contribute to the overall tone and atmosphere of the scene?", "c7dbfd8a-b50a-4626-84f0-165c3044cb6e": "In the excerpt, what is the significance of the bodyguard's actions and dialogue towards Hotblack Desiato? How does this contribute to the overall atmosphere of the scene?", "b890d173-e90f-477a-88bb-ff9df9b4cc92": "Describe the reaction of Max, the performer, when a still small trumpet sound is heard during the moment of impending destruction. How does this moment add to the suspense and tension in the story?", "758ba39c-b138-4438-ad94-d6ad212ef718": "In the given context, describe the reaction of Max and the audience when the figure of the Great Prophet Zarquon appears. How does Max handle the situation?", "28109c07-9ce6-4ad6-968e-f346087cf9ed": "Explain the ending of the Universe as described in the context. What role does the Great Prophet Zarquon play in this event?", "88faa30d-f80c-4d6b-911f-50687613c722": "According to the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, how is the concept of \"infinite\" described? Provide a brief explanation.", "145bd809-497c-42d2-8c63-eb4e251ea44a": "Explain the reasoning behind the statement that the population of the whole Universe is zero, based on the information provided in the document.", "8eaa7af3-f09e-4741-8cb8-4e2f724f178c": "In the context of the given information, explain why the Altairan Dollar, the Flaninian Pobble Bead, and the Triganic Pu are not considered as valid monetary units in the Galaxy.", "33a447a8-4da1-4ffe-aa03-e1834618e5ff": "How does the lack of money, trade, banks, and art contribute to the prevalence of sex in the Universe according to the given information?", "46b75149-2142-436d-bfaa-97db6c8fc2f7": "In the context of Chapter 20, explain the significance of the force-shielded dome and its role in the events at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.", "0cd4c09a-a655-40e5-85dd-6e4360999a4c": "Based on the passage from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, discuss the three distinct phases of a major Galactic Civilization and their corresponding questions. How do these phases relate to the concept of Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?", "94ded5f9-f846-4864-bb74-77a040982f65": "In the given context, what is the significance of the ship's wild color scheme and its effect on the characters' experience?", "9de09c02-23d0-4ac2-a0aa-9f3620bc0072": "How does Zaphod Beeblebrox's motivation to find the Ultimate Answer contrast with Arthur Dent's reluctance to pursue it?", "2e525714-f289-4520-b466-76ef1a22f0fc": "How does Zaphod's excitement and mention of the number \"forty-two\" relate to the question that Arthur is supposed to know the answer to?", "18aa380c-e031-4d45-bdaf-83d55ecdb445": "What is the significance of Marvin's ability to see into Arthur's mind and why does he choose not to share this information until prompted?", "407df1bb-5c76-4f5b-ade1-415e7cd48ac0": "How does Zaphod justify his ownership of the ship based on the concept of property and theft?", "2922d245-63c2-41bd-af09-35bf4ab6ade1": "What events occur when Zaphod tries to communicate with the ship, and how do these events affect him and the others in the cabin?", "d97f4d3c-a078-4063-ad6b-e71564a82b19": "What is the purpose of the stage technicians testing the sound system from the safety of Disaster Area's control ship in orbit above the planet?", "9dade2c0-87ab-406b-a6f6-b28e576f662b": "Why did the band's manager feel relieved when it was discovered that the drummer was standing on a beach on Santraginus V?", "6a726a0c-c7f7-4db8-a208-4d79f233618f": "What is the significance of the black stunt ship in the context of the story? How does it contribute to the unfolding events?", "65af37f2-915f-4a74-b8eb-91719b917f2b": "How does the conversation between Zaphod and Marvin reveal the unexpected turn of events? Discuss the implications of Marvin's actions and Zaphod's reaction to the situation.", "711b3e7f-4ad1-4b8b-ad2f-340739e5b757": "How does Ford's theory about human beings exercising their lips relate to their habit of stating the obvious? Provide examples from the text to support your answer.", "c4467e00-34bc-4611-9908-269b8ed2f32c": "Explain the punishment inflicted on the Belcebron people and how it relates to their behavior. How do they cope with this punishment and what impact does it have on their communication?", "aef63b5d-e110-4306-8ff3-e391fb9bd4a5": "In the given context, what was the purpose of the teleport that was installed in the ship being constructed?", "4ee99239-f4e1-4bd8-a07a-3e2101f9dd9f": "Explain the significance of the missing guidance system in the matter transference teleport.", "b493a450-5df5-4f7c-b085-031c89fc706d": "How did the unexpected climax of the concert on Kakrafoon lead to the transformation of the desert world into a paradise? Provide specific details from the text to support your answer.", "6809a265-8aee-445d-817f-5a7c4d38d391": "Discuss the potential scientific explanation for the healing powers of music as mentioned in the context. How do the sceptical scientists' findings regarding the faint vestiges of an artificially induced Improbability Field relate to this phenomenon?", "08f09bea-b99e-4335-9040-073fcec384b8": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 21 of the document?", "4e097dd0-be89-40f5-b101-b068e4641431": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "b1819b8b-c7f9-4121-86fe-dc4b0d70fa99": "What is the main issue with most forms of transport according to Arthur Dent? How does he compare cars and matter transference beams?", "7776dd15-31b4-4f44-88ab-97666e701f5a": "Describe the song that used to be chanted by crowds outside the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Teleport Systems factory. What message does the song convey about matter transference beams?", "0d8eb676-dbe3-4360-b2d4-cd78f89238ec": "In the poem \"Sirius is paved with gold,\" what is the speaker's attitude towards the idea of going to Tau?", "a5d23bfb-5027-4dc8-8104-5cc7643d3ffb": "What is the significance of the dark transparent panel in the spaceship corridor?", "2721e37f-349f-45c5-88d0-dfe0a7a5a4c8": "In the passage, Arthur and Ford find themselves in a corridor filled with pounding footsteps and cold air. How do they initially react to the noise and what action do they take? How does this situation contribute to the overall atmosphere of fear and suspense in the story?", "c4744658-7e16-47ca-ba3e-a666972b7b85": "Towards the end of the passage, Ford and Arthur encounter a corridor that is different from the others. Describe the unique characteristics of this corridor and what they discover behind the large steel door. How does this unexpected discovery add to the intrigue and mystery of the narrative?", "8ad096a8-acbb-4c9c-ae9a-7e064332a762": "In Chapter 22, what is the main topic or subject being discussed?", "b682e475-0969-4a6d-8f53-5f860f3ea9eb": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "2a873464-28d2-4351-9348-e0101fab0e82": "What is the significance of the sarcophagi in the vault? How do they contribute to the atmosphere of the chamber?", "87a18cb8-4ac4-4531-9efd-7094b049b026": "Describe the plaque that Ford discovers on one of the sarcophagi. What information does it provide about the occupant and their role on the Golgafrincham Ark Fleet?", "ca385b2a-807f-4857-9d5f-597b2d495653": "Why are the sarcophagi in the vault kept so cold? What is the significance of the freezing gas?", "ada333b9-d237-4850-ac88-f01a5abeda42": "Who is the man with the Kill-O-Zap gun and why is he not pleased to see Ford and Arthur? What is the purpose of the gun and how does it reflect the designer's intentions?", "d2c780f5-a8ca-4d6b-8220-86ee2684633a": "What action did Ford take in response to the situation described in the context information?", "5b45e016-5aac-475d-b6e1-053997ab7510": "What did the joggers do in the vault and what was the outcome of their actions?", "c8929849-ed86-412b-8e64-1938f2dbe3c1": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 23?", "fcefb122-1d31-4473-a244-6550db8cd64e": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "caf80e9c-0514-4114-932e-c8dfe337a2de": "What is the view from the ship's bridge and how has it changed during the voyage?", "c62f9257-bbc4-4137-bd30-a3e5dc5d8a22": "How does the Captain feel about the ship's first officer and why?", "33179931-d393-41e5-b595-8a7736c2cf7c": "What is the most remarkable feature of the ship's bridge according to Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent? How does this feature contribute to their perception of the ship's time period?", "86dd6b56-48fa-408c-83df-2a4db32f189e": "Describe the appearance of the bath on the ship's bridge. How does Number Two react to the presence of the bath and what does this reveal about his character?", "392d8f92-df7b-49d4-b226-66652be3ef73": "How does the existence of various drinks with similar phonetic names, but different properties, challenge the theories of structural linguistics?", "e40613a3-cb90-4572-bf58-08729a155a29": "In the given context, why does Number Two become frustrated when trying to interrogate the prisoners and what is the Captain's response to this frustration?", "6774cbf2-e9a2-42ec-98f7-ad9d6bbcf303": "What is the significance of Number Two's mouth being described as a \"thin hard line\" in the context of the passage? How does this behavior relate to the concept of fighting?", "09929ff2-8c39-4c11-a1e9-703cd36ccbbb": "How does Ford's reaction to the Captain's statement about the frozen bodies in the hold reflect his character? Discuss the implications of his blinking and Arthur's response in relation to the overall tone of the passage.", "9402cbc8-6837-47e8-bd28-23dea9f955e2": "What is the purpose of the \"B\" Ark in the Ark Fleet mentioned in the context? How does it differ from the \"A\" and \"C\" ships?", "f30c66f9-33c6-465e-be6f-f64a5d313f8d": "Why did the people from the planet decide to colonize another planet? What was the plan for the population distribution among the three ships?", "bd13bb51-12f9-4124-b984-f68358a37ad7": "What were the different reasons mentioned by the Captain and the first officer for the impending doom of their planet?", "134c88c1-b88b-4449-a651-2119053cdda2": "How did the Captain's perception of the other ships change over time and what was the possible fate of those ships according to Ford Prefect?", "a4033c7c-dd94-4dbd-b447-11d270438c59": "What is the reason behind the Golgafrincham spaceship's trajectory being preset before leaving the planet?", "a502363c-28b4-45fa-bfa9-5850e03d83f6": "Why does Ford lose patience with the Captain and the whole charade on the spaceship?", "71aad20d-7956-4229-b14e-d3a212a7255a": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 24?", "c2437270-abc4-4079-85f5-6fb10381efea": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "9fc47cc1-6cf1-495b-b4d4-6e7a3bbf0af7": "In the history of Golgafrincham, what role did the Great Circling Poets of Arium play? How did they interact with unwary travelers and what was their unique method of communication?", "bd7a7573-e78e-42a5-aa81-5613dc45ec81": "How did a descendant of the Great Circling Poets of Arium contribute to the population reduction in Golgafrincham? What were the consequences of this population reduction for the remaining two-thirds of the population?", "217898a7-4ed0-4ac8-8a39-9ce0ec1467e5": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 25?", "208f9377-39da-4abc-beec-db14c3540eab": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "8248fa82-dce6-414f-9d0b-c4d6b7ae3206": "What was the purpose of the ship's programming in the hours preceding the crash? How did this programming affect the ship's outcome?", "fbdc5d42-a048-4247-a6e6-7f03c3846e2a": "Describe the aftermath of the ship's crash-landing on the green-blue planet. How did the survivors react and what challenges did they face?", "1807d290-1d1d-4c3b-b7f5-0a1bb834e0be": "What is Ford's response when Arthur asks what will happen to everyone in an infinite Universe? How does Arthur interpret Ford's response?", "1984ff0a-2bf3-47d1-b8cd-e32f1a7604bb": "What is the significance of the figure carrying a movie camera in the scene? How does Arthur react to this?", "a909a74d-6ab1-41b4-91e1-1d3a7589a590": "In the given context, what is the significance of the planet's magnetic field and how does it affect the characters' actions?", "3720d359-e154-4e5d-8d7f-05697160ef84": "Describe the scene where one of the colleagues collapses and explain its impact on the overall narrative.", "e86679ff-bd54-437a-9aa5-6ffe27542d96": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 26?", "44a53389-00e0-42ee-8f91-474e5576587d": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "c1328022-0c3a-49c9-83bb-cc0daca98a8b": "What is Zaphod's attitude towards Zarniwoop and the upcoming meeting? Provide evidence from the text to support your answer.", "4e531f4e-86db-4474-8bc3-d37e5d16a00b": "How does Trillian perceive Zarniwoop's presence on the ship? What does her reaction suggest about her character?", "12be404a-a2e0-4ca7-ae8c-efee86820e87": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 27?", "26897ea5-9354-49c6-bd02-7c609af9c055": "How many questions should be prepared for the upcoming quiz/examination?", "7d897658-cc34-4b95-a069-a6e179a98735": "According to the context information, what is one of the major problems with governing people?", "2e2b1ea8-7357-478d-8fc6-83b4710274d7": "Based on the passage, why should anyone capable of becoming President not be allowed to do the job?", "3e5e8729-3b3f-40cb-ba54-6c9149cd7149": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 28?", "0aa7be1c-2e46-4ca5-be01-eaaa2f0f0059": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "8baa0609-3d2d-40be-a644-b25b2bf298dc": "In Chapter 29, what is the significance of the rain and its effect on the environment? How does it contribute to the overall atmosphere of the scene?", "60330a89-46ff-4fa4-b283-cbfcc53cf4cc": "Describe the character of the man in the shack. How does his interaction with the cat reflect his personality and mindset?", "a09c2c28-c07a-4e8a-ba42-d0f65e628e2b": "In the given context, the protagonist experiments with different ways of bringing together a piece of paper and a pencil. Describe the various methods he tries and the outcome of each method.", "788de0bc-0d97-4e58-9e52-4be61e7d946b": "The protagonist speculates about the arrival of men in black ships and their intentions. How does he interpret their presence and what evidence does he use to support his beliefs?", "a24fb799-979c-4d01-83e4-28345ad2dc71": "In the given context, what is the significance of the man's response when asked if he rules the Universe? How does this response reflect his perspective on his own identity and existence?", "32ef983b-847d-416d-b5a8-0f347c2e4d52": "Based on the conversation between Zarniwoop and the man, discuss the man's philosophical approach towards the concept of time and reality. How does his perspective challenge traditional notions of past, present, and future?", "fd6b211e-4e1f-4c7a-ac3d-3c4c5a991316": "In the given context, what is the significance of the Janx spirit bottle and how does it relate to the ruler of the Universe?", "d171a732-2a59-4f96-9606-6dfcb96190fe": "How does the ruler of the Universe's perspective on the existence of other people and their Universes challenge the concept of responsibility and decision-making?", "ce7c8029-606d-4238-899f-8ebc43e0e335": "In the given context, what does the man mean when he refers to his cat as \"The Lord\"? How does this belief influence his behavior towards the cat?", "f0aa7e1f-39cd-4fb9-8019-d2249a5cc95f": "How does Zarniwoop's frustration with the ruler of the Universe's lack of memory and perception of reality reflect the theme of perception versus reality in the text?", "791cb2e1-0567-461a-9362-d2fc13c7855a": "What is the main topic discussed in Chapter 29?", "8edfcda3-ae75-4225-9785-1fc97e7530c7": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "b289b5a8-df6d-4e53-8090-423ceec32bf1": "Based on the context information provided, describe the setting in which Ford and Arthur find themselves in Chapter 30. Include details about the environment, the atmosphere, and the inhabitants they encounter.", "8a926267-2469-436b-babc-6adaff83dc68": "In Chapter 30, Ford and Arthur come across a group of men and women in a clearing. Describe the physical characteristics of these individuals and their initial reaction to Ford and Arthur's presence.", "28f267af-eee6-4e2d-bd47-c8eabaf004d5": "In the given context, describe the initial interaction between the intruders and the natives. How did the natives respond to the intruders' greeting and what was the suggested course of action by the leader of the natives?", "c6b6abc7-6a58-4836-b39f-417cf5de9883": "According to Ford Prefect, what is the secret to healthy hitch-hiking? How does this relate to the situation when Ford and Arthur come across a pile of fruit in their path?", "997aee85-a42f-4dd4-a836-c9a112bdb0b7": "In the passage, Ford Prefect compares the situation of eating the fruit to the story of the Garden of Eden. How does he relate the two situations and what is his reasoning behind it?", "2e4fd43a-de9b-4d69-8805-2d4816a75b84": "Describe the journey of Arthur and Ford Prefect after they eat the fruit. What obstacles do they encounter and how do they handle them?", "947f8bf5-3be8-4c20-b955-c55799ef8d49": "How did Ford Prefect acquire the animal skins and furs for himself and Arthur?", "4451bdcc-47c3-4c39-8667-94831c3c3b42": "What technique did Ford Prefect use to attract and approach the deer before breaking its neck?", "8ab5b28a-e45e-40e4-971e-a1b32a89a8b7": "What is the significance of the coastline described in the passage? How does it contribute to the overall awe and beauty experienced by the characters?", "79119f44-414d-4943-b36b-51f527cc9fa0": "Describe the protagonist's initial reaction to the glacier and the subsequent revelation. How does this moment impact the character's perception of their surroundings?", "68810056-047e-4c05-a461-ea4da6462966": "How does the description of the face in the ice contribute to the overall understanding of the setting in the passage? Provide specific details from the text to support your answer.", "0940245d-a383-4916-9823-8d60e4770c30": "Discuss the significance of the alien alphabet letters and the face in the ice in relation to the man who designed the coastline. How do these elements enhance the reader's understanding of the character and his accomplishments?", "9bab3477-e0b0-4184-9ab1-330c39b32eee": "What is the Captain's attitude towards the bagpiper and why?", "4a4f9949-965d-4730-ac4e-e344651d0a42": "What are some of the things that the Captain finds pleasant in his new life?", "801dee82-84fa-4fe9-bb31-c27c8d45d22c": "How does Ford Prefect's appearance change after his month-long journey, and what does this reveal about his experiences?", "44d5aa77-8300-484d-b03b-81ca193a725d": "Describe the scene at the clearing where the Golgafrinchans are gathered. What observations does Ford make about their behavior and appearance?", "3a1c8096-63a4-4172-9243-6c3a4a185bfd": "How does Ford's response to the hairdresser's lack of progress in fire development reflect his frustration with the colonization committee's inefficiency?", "91f79552-0e24-4beb-ba6d-dcbb473917f6": "In what ways does the girl with the strident voice demonstrate a lack of understanding of Ford's perspective on fire development and marketing?", "e598ebcd-a5ea-4464-a9c9-4616ead213f6": "In the given context, what is Ford Prefect's reaction to the marketing girl's question about the color of the wheel? How does this reaction contribute to the overall tone of the scene?", "752012c8-7351-4058-b291-3181a5dc12f7": "Describe the significance of Number Two's announcement about declaring war on another continent. How does this announcement affect the crowd's reaction and the overall atmosphere in the clearing?", "aa87d64a-65d2-4d2d-aab5-5ebf0e9b2bc5": "How does Number Two justify the destruction of military installations and the interrogation of a gazelle in the context of the story?", "ba1c1a73-10d3-48aa-9bf0-53692de54d2f": "Discuss the impact of the arrival of the crowd on the indigenous people and their subsequent decline.", "48624d41-e03d-4a03-bf3b-d2772a66567c": "In the context of the passage, what is the significance of the rubber duck and how does it relate to the Captain's perspective on loneliness and responsibility?", "5108c56c-1a37-4938-9237-6df258bcd3dc": "How does the Management Consultant's proposal to burn down all the forests in order to revalue the leaf as legal tender reflect the absurdity and irrationality of the society depicted in the passage?", "1d1b5e90-82b3-4132-9ee8-53b2a3a3b897": "How does the crowd's opinion of Ford change throughout the passage? Provide specific examples from the text to support your answer.", "a4be5e3c-f816-4305-a4bb-38d7fbd963e2": "What is the significance of Ford's statement about the planet's future? How does this statement impact the crowd's reaction and their perception of Ford?", "e38725eb-d9c0-445d-bc79-7a6a84608a52": "In Chapter 32, what is the main topic or subject being discussed?", "b858ff2d-14f1-4e1a-8c43-6d90c078235b": "Can you provide an example or case study related to the content covered in Chapter 32?", "277f92e4-6cf7-47d8-aa83-103e09d2637d": "How does Arthur Dent attempt to introduce the concept of Scrabble to the local native men? What challenges does he face in teaching them?", "b66e7bfd-d95b-49b7-b36d-abd522c89d58": "Why does Ford Prefect question Arthur's assumption that the local native men are cavemen? How does Arthur respond to Ford's comment?", "03f8ce93-bf8f-49c6-9a35-101584f7757f": "How does Arthur's frustration with the apemen's lack of development reflect his desire for the human race to evolve and develop?", "3ae33d94-58b8-4c94-a330-91cb6b68970f": "Explain Ford's perspective on the history of the Earth and how it relates to the Golgafrinchans' role as Arthur's ancestors.", "825271af-ee1e-41c8-b586-e113d2845d05": "How does the unfortunate death of the girl who drank polluted water from a pool relate to the moral of never throwing the letter Q into a pivet bush?", "6c477076-614a-4de6-87df-24085e57126e": "What significance does the discovery of the words \"Forty-Two\" spelled out by the native caveman have in relation to the number Deep Thought gave as the Ultimate Answer?", "e53b8728-497c-4b6a-b766-d197aef2add4": "How does the conversation between Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent reveal the significance of the apemen and the Golgafrinchans in the computer program designed by Deep Thought?", "d9905e02-f2f9-4ce8-8754-6c0c7b64b6e5": "In what way does Arthur Dent propose to bring forward the unconscious pattern of the Question by introducing a random element? Explain the significance of this approach in the context of the story.", "243da05b-b047-4e38-be1c-9749aae6f278": "In the given context, what is the significance of the sun passing behind a cloud and a few small sad raindrops falling? How does this contribute to the overall theme or atmosphere of the passage?", "d0a68adb-b396-46f3-80ed-408f1f2d9887": "Analyze the dialogue between Ford and Arthur regarding the letters they pull out of the bag. How does their interaction reflect their personalities and their understanding of the situation?", "142e2570-f2b0-4366-856c-83fdb1d7c297": "What is the main topic or subject discussed in Chapter 33?", "742ce54c-2740-4137-97ad-c98b7b869f81": "How many chapters are there in the document?", "a0d741c0-30ae-4658-a0b0-38e78ea8cdcc": "In Chapter 34, what is the significance of the girls' reaction to Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent lying on the ground in agony but actually laughing?", "028f8aeb-c82c-43c4-84ab-b1b0ac1a151e": "How does Ford Prefect's response to Agda's question about having only two million years reflect his perspective on the meaning of life?", "b637b534-e7aa-4beb-a34a-f1730e2fd9ad": "In the context of the given passage, explain the significance of the Vogons and their role in the destruction of worlds. How does this relate to the concept of a hyperspace bypass?", "08040ce7-b463-4447-977d-a8f4e2cc3c50": "Discuss the character of Arthur Dent and his perspective on the destruction of worlds. How does his encounter with the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy influence his understanding of these events?"}, "corpus": {"79eb6b86-7e42-4314-8af1-5844b0a1b75e": "The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, Book 1\nDouglas Adams", "bef6cc2a-ecf6-45db-8351-0efd258204c4": "2\nTransferred from plain text to PDF by JustChecking/Josef", "adc569db-18cc-4fd8-893a-20824d466444": "3\nfor Jonny Brock and Clare Gorst\nand all other Arlingtonians\nfor tea, sympathy, and a sofa", "2e43656e-841d-477a-ae02-b8cfc979cfc5": "4", "9f3b3852-851b-4d00-9531-ef0eb0862658": "Contents\n0 7\n1 9\n2 17\n3 21\n4 27\n5 33\n6 39\n7 43\n8 49\n9 51\n10 55\n11 57\n12 63\n13 67\n14 71\n15 75\n16 77\n17 81\n18 87\n19 89\n20 91\n5", "d36cb680-3db5-4029-af33-e6e02e41eeae": "6 CONTENTS\n21 95\n22 97\n23 101\n24 103\n25 107\n26 111\n27 113\n28 117\n29 119\n30 123\n31 125\n32 131\n33 135\n34 137\n35 139", "90eceddf-e6fd-4431-8149-4c42b86a7408": "Chapter 0\nFar out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western\nspiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.\nOrbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly\ninsigni\ufb01cant little blue green planet whose apedescended life forms are so amaz-\ningly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.\nThis planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the\npeople on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were\nsuggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the\nmovements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it\nwasn\u2019t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.\nAnd so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of\nthem were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.\nMany were increasingly of the opinion that they\u2019d all made a big mistake\nin coming down from the trees in the \ufb01rst place. And some said that even the\ntrees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.\nAnd then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been\nnailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a\nchange, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly\nrealized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she \ufb01nally\nknew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was\nright, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.\nSadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a\nterribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.\nThis is not her story.\nBut it is the story of that terrible stupid catastrophe and some of its conse-\nquences.\nIt is also the story of a book, a book called The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the\nGalaxy - not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible\ncatastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.\nNevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.\nin fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the\ngreat publishing houses of Ursa Minor - of which no Earthman had ever heard\neither.\nNot only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one\n- more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than\nFifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon\nColluphid\u2019s trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some\n7", "51664608-3de3-41e5-b30e-c39da82cdf6a": "8 CHAPTER 0.\nMore of God\u2019s Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?\nIn many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the\nGalaxy, the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia\nGalactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though\nit has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly\ninaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important\nrespects.\nFirst, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don\u2019t Panic in-\nscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.\nBut the story of this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordi-\nnary consequences, and the story of how these consequences are inextricably\nintertwined with this remarkable book begins very simply.\nIt begins with a house.", "6e71ff9d-e163-431c-94a9-32cc38afe41b": "Chapter 1\nThe house stood on a slight rise just on the edge of the village. It stood on its\nown and looked over a broad spread of West Country farmland. Not a remark-\nable house by any means - it was about thirty years old, squattish, squarish,\nmade of brick, and had four windows set in the front of a size and proportion\nwhich more or less exactly failed to please the eye.\nThe only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur\nDent, and that was only because it happened to be the one he lived in. He\nhad lived in it for about three years, ever since he had moved out of London\nbecause it made him nervous and irritable. He was about thirty as well, dark\nhaired and never quite at ease with himself. The thing that used to worry him\nmost was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so\nworried about. He worked in local radio which he always used to tell his friends\nwas a lot more interesting than they probably thought. It was, too - most of\nhis friends worked in advertising.\nIt hadn\u2019t properly registered with Arthur that the council wanted to knock\ndown his house and build an bypass instead.\nAt eight o\u2019clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn\u2019t feel very good. He woke\nup blearily, got up, wandered blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a\nbulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped o\ufb00 to the bathroom to wash.\nToothpaste on the brush - so. Scrub.\nShaving mirror-pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it\nre\ufb02ected a second bulldozer through the bathroom window. Properly adjusted,\nit re\ufb02ected Arthur Dent\u2019s bristles. He shaved them o\ufb00, washed, dried, and\nstomped o\ufb00 to the kitchen to \ufb01nd something pleasant to put in his mouth.\nKettle, plug, fridge, milk, co\ufb00ee. Yawn.\nThe word bulldozer wandered through his mind for a moment in search of\nsomething to connect with.\nThe bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one.\nHe stared at it.\n- Yellow, - he thought and stomped o\ufb00 back to his bedroom to get dressed.\nPassing the bathroom he stopped to drink a large glass of water, and another.\nHe began to suspect that he was hung over. Why was he hung over? Had he\nbeen drinking the night before? He supposed that he must have been. He\ncaught a glint in the shaving mirror. \u201dYellow,\u201d he thought and stomped on to\nthe bedroom.\nHe stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He vaguely\nremembered being angry, angry about something that seemed important. He\u2019d\n9", "eddd9cf8-0dc5-49d8-9a21-3a13a3a12712": "10 CHAPTER 1.\nbeen telling people about it, telling people about it at great length, he rather\nsuspected: his clearest visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people\u2019s\nfaces. Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had\nbeen in the pipeline for months only no one seemed to have known about it.\nRidiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort itself out, he\u2019d decided, no\none wanted a bypass, the council didn\u2019t have a leg to stand on. It would sort\nitself out.\nGod what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself\nin the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue. \u201dYellow,\u201d he thought. The\nword yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with.\nFifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front of a big\nyellow bulldozer that was advancing up his garden path.\nMr. L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a\ncarbon-based life form descended from an ape. More speci\ufb01cally he was forty,\nfat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though\nhe didn\u2019t know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan,\nthough intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that\nhe had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in\nMr. L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the\ntum and a predilection for little fur hats.\nHe was by no means a great warrior: in fact he was a nervous worried man.\nToday he was particularly nervous and worried because something had gone\nseriously wrong with his job - which was to see that Arthur Dent\u2019s house got\ncleared out of the way before the day was out.\n- Come o\ufb00 it, Mr. Dent, - he said, - you can\u2019t win you know. You can\u2019t lie\nin front of the bulldozer inde\ufb01nitely. - He tried to make his eyes blaze \ufb01ercely\nbut they just wouldn\u2019t do it.\nArthur lay in the mud and squelched at him.\n- I\u2019m game, - he said, - we\u2019ll see who rusts \ufb01rst.\n- I\u2019m afraid you\u2019re going to have to accept it, - said Mr. Prosser gripping\nhis fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head, - this bypass has got to be\nbuilt and it\u2019s going to be built!\n- First I\u2019ve heard of it, - said Arthur, - why\u2019s it going to be built?\nMr. Prosser shook his \ufb01nger at him for a bit, then stopped and put it away\nagain.\n- What do you mean, why\u2019s it got to be built? - he said. - It\u2019s a bypass.\nYou\u2019ve got to build bypasses.\nBypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point\nB very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People\nliving at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder\nwhat\u2019s so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to\nget there, and what\u2019s so great about point B that so many people of point A\nare so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for\nall work out where the hell they wanted to be.\nMr. Prosser wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn\u2019t anywhere in particular,\nit was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B and C. He\nwould have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the door, and spend\na pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point\nD. His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn\u2019t", "17de7706-1260-4ac3-af30-26baa8683fde": "11\nknow why - he just liked axes. He \ufb02ushed hotly under the derisive grins of the\nbulldozer drivers.\nHe shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on\neach. Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to\nGod it wasn\u2019t him.\nMr. Prosser said:\n- You were quite entitled to make any suggestions or protests at the appro-\npriate time you know.\n- Appropriate time? - hooted Arthur. - Appropriate time? The \ufb01rst I knew\nabout it was when a workman arrived at my home yesterday. I asked him if he\u2019d\ncome to clean the windows and he said no he\u2019d come to demolish the house.\nHe didn\u2019t tell me straight away of course. Oh no. First he wiped a couple of\nwindows and charged me a \ufb01ver. Then he told me.\n- But Mr. Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning o\ufb03ce\nfor the last nine month.\n- Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday\nafternoon. You hadn\u2019t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them\nhad you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything.\n- But the plans were on display...\n- On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to \ufb01nd them.\n- That\u2019s the display department.\n- With a torch.\n- Ah, well the lights had probably gone.\n- So had the stairs.\n- But look, you found the notice didn\u2019t you?\n- Yes, - said Arthur, - yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked\n\ufb01ling cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware\nof the Leopard.\nA cloud passed overhead. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent as he lay\npropped up on his elbow in the cold mud. It cast a shadow over Arthur Dent\u2019s\nhouse. Mr. Prosser frowned at it.\n- It\u2019s not as if it\u2019s a particularly nice house, - he said.\n- I\u2019m sorry, but I happen to like it.\n- You\u2019ll like the bypass.\n- Oh shut up, - said Arthur Dent. - Shut up and go away, and take your\nbloody bypass with you. You haven\u2019t got a leg to stand on and you know it.\nMr. Prosser\u2019s mouth opened and closed a couple of times while his mind was\nfor a moment \ufb01lled with inexplicable but terribly attractive visions of Arthur\nDent\u2019s house being consumed with \ufb01re and Arthur himself running screaming\nfrom the blazing ruin with at least three hefty spears protruding from his back.\nMr. Prosser was often bothered with visions like these and they made him feel\nvery nervous. He stuttered for a moment and then pulled himself together.\n- Mr. Dent, - he said.\n- Hello? Yes? - said Arthur.\n- Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage\nthat bulldozer would su\ufb00er if I just let it roll straight over you?\n- How much? - said Arthur.\n- None at all, - said Mr. Prosser, and stormed nervously o\ufb00 wondering why\nhis brain was \ufb01lled with a thousand hairy horsemen all shouting at him.", "27852b5b-9401-4772-98d7-612547b5854b": "12 CHAPTER 1.\nBy a curious coincidence, None at all is exactly how much suspicion the ape-\ndescendant Arthur Dent had that one of his closest friends was not descended\nfrom an ape, but was in fact from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse\nand not from Guildford as he usually claimed.\nArthur Dent had never, ever suspected this.\nThis friend of his had \ufb01rst arrived on the planet some \ufb01fteen Earth years\npreviously, and he had worked hard to blend himself into Earth society - with,\nit must be said, some success. For instance he had spent those \ufb01fteen years\npretending to be an out of work actor, which was plausible enough.\nHe had made one careless blunder though, because he had skimped a bit\non his preparatory research. The information he had gathered had led him to\nchoose the name \u201dFord Prefect\u201d as being nicely inconspicuous.\nHe was not conspicuously tall, his features were striking but not conspicu-\nously handsome. His hair was wiry and gingerish and brushed backwards from\nthe temples. His skin seemed to be pulled backwards from the nose. There\nwas something very slightly odd about him, but it was di\ufb03cult to say what\nit was. Perhaps it was that his eyes didn\u2019t blink often enough and when you\ntalked to him for any length of time your eyes began involuntarily to water on\nhis behalf. Perhaps it was that he smiled slightly too broadly and gave people\nthe unnerving impression that he was about to go for their neck.\nHe struck most of the friends he had made on Earth as an eccentric, but\na harmless one - an unruly boozer with some oddish habits. For instance he\nwould often gatecrash university parties, get badly drunk and start making fun\nof any astrophysicist he could \ufb01nd till he got thrown out.\nSometimes he would get seized with oddly distracted moods and stare into\nthe sky as if hypnotized until someone asked him what he was doing. Then he\nwould start guiltily for a moment, relax and grin.\n- Oh, just looking for \ufb02ying saucers, - he would joke and everyone would\nlaugh and ask him what sort of \ufb02ying saucers he was looking for.\n- Green ones! - he would reply with a wicked grin, laugh wildly for a moment\nand then suddenly lunge for the nearest bar and buy an enormous round of\ndrinks.\nEvenings like this usually ended badly. Ford would get out of his skull on\nwhisky, huddle into a corner with some girl and explain to her in slurred phrases\nthat honestly the colour of the \ufb02ying saucers didn\u2019t matter that much really.\nThereafter, staggering semi-paralytic down the night streets he would often\nask passing policemen if they knew the way to Betelgeuse. The policemen would\nusually say something like:\n- Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s about time you went o\ufb00 home sir?\n- I\u2019m trying to baby, I\u2019m trying to, - is what Ford invariably replied on these\noccasions.\nIn fact what he was really looking out for when he stared distractedly into\nthe night sky was any kind of \ufb02ying saucer at all. The reason he said green was\nthat green was the traditional space livery of the Betelgeuse trading scouts.\nFord Prefect was desperate that any \ufb02ying saucer at all would arrive soon\nbecause \ufb01fteen years was a long time to get stranded anywhere, particularly\nsomewhere as mindboggingly dull as the Earth.\nFord wished that a \ufb02ying saucer would arrive soon because he knew how\nto \ufb02ag \ufb02ying saucers down and get lifts from them. He knew how to see the\nMarvels of the Universe for less than thirty Altairan dollars a day.", "172e87c3-832b-47e5-a2fe-b3c100a2ae58": "13\nIn fact, Ford Prefect was a roving researcher for that wholly remarkable book\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy.\nHuman beings are great adaptors, and by lunchtime life in the environs of\nArthur\u2019s house had settled into a steady routine. It was Arthur\u2019s accepted role\nto lie squelching in the mud making occasional demands to see his lawyer, his\nmother or a good book; it was Mr. Prosser\u2019s accepted role to tackle Arthur\nwith the occasional new ploy such as the For the Public Good talk, the March\nof Progress talk, the They Knocked My House Down Once You Know, Never\nLooked Back talk and various other cajoleries and threats; and it was the bull-\ndozer drivers accepted role to sit around drinking co\ufb00ee and experimenting with\nunion regulations to see how they could turn the situation to their \ufb01nancial ad-\nvantage.\nThe Earth moved slowly in its diurnal course.\nThe sun was beginning to dry out the mud Arthur lay in.\nA shadow moved across him again.\n- Hello Arthur, - said the shadow.\nArthur looked up and squinting into the sun was startled to see Ford Prefect\nstanding above him.\n- Ford! Hello, how are you?\n- Fine, - said Ford, - look, are you busy?\n- Am I busy? - exclaimed Arthur. - Well, I\u2019ve just got all these bulldozers\nand things to lie in front of because they\u2019ll knock my house down if I don\u2019t, but\nother than that... well, no not especially, why?\nThey don\u2019t have sarcasm on Betelgeuse, and Ford Prefect often failed to\nnotice it unless he was concentrating. He said,\n- Good, is there anywhere we can talk?\n- What? - said Arthur Dent.\nFor a few seconds Ford seemed to ignore him, and stared \ufb01xedly into the sky\nlike a rabbit trying to get run over by a car. Then suddenly he squatted down\nbeside Arthur.\n- We\u2019ve got to talk, - he said urgently.\n- Fine, - said Arthur, - talk.\n- And drink, - said Ford. - It\u2019s vitally important that we talk and drink.\nNow. We\u2019ll go to the pub in the village.\nHe looked into the sky again, nervous, expectant.\n- Look, don\u2019t you understand? - shouted Arthur. He pointed at Prosser. -\nThat man wants to knock my house down!\nFord glanced at him, puzzled.\n- Well he can do it while you\u2019re away can\u2019t he? - he asked.\n- But I don\u2019t want him to!\n- Ah.\n- Look, what\u2019s the matter with you Ford? - said Arthur.\n- Nothing. Nothing\u2019s the matter. Listen to me - I\u2019ve got to tell you the most\nimportant thing you\u2019ve ever heard. I\u2019ve got to tell you now, and I\u2019ve got to tell\nyou in the saloon bar of the Horse and Groom.\n- But why?\n- Because you are going to need a very sti\ufb00 drink.\nFord stared at Arthur, and Arthur was astonished to \ufb01nd that his will was\nbeginning to weaken. He didn\u2019t realize that this was because of an old drink-", "8489ecda-0b4b-44b4-9a19-d5b8452ff894": "14 CHAPTER 1.\ning game that Ford learned to play in the hyperspace ports that served the\nmadranite mining belts in the star system of Orion Beta.\nThe game was not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and was\nplayed like this:\nTwo contestants would sit either side of a table, with a glass in front of each\nof them.\nBetween them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit (as immortalized in\nthat ancient Orion mining song:\nOh don\u2019t give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit\nNo, don\u2019t you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit\nFor my head will \ufb02y, my tongue will lie,\nmy eyes will fry and I may die\nWon\u2019t you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit\u201d).\nEach of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle\nand attempt to tip it and pour spirit into the glass of his opponent - who would\nthen have to drink it.\nThe bottle would then be re\ufb01lled. The game would be played again. And\nagain.\nOnce you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the\ne\ufb00ects of Janx spirit is to depress telepsychic power.\nAs soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the \ufb01nal loser\nwould have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.\nFord Prefect usually played to lose.\nFord stared at Arthur, who began to think that perhaps he did want to go\nto the Horse and Groom after all.\n- But what about my house?.. - he asked plaintively.\nFord looked across to Mr. Prosser, and suddenly a wicked thought struck\nhim.\n- He wants to knock your house down?\n- Yes, he wants to build...\n- And he can\u2019t because you\u2019re lying in front of the bulldozers?\n- Yes, and...\n- I\u2019m sure we can come to some arrangement, - said Ford. - Excuse me! he\nshouted.\nMr. Prosser (who was arguing with a spokesman for the bulldozer drivers\nabout whether or not Arthur Dent constituted a mental health hazard, and\nhow much they should get paid if he did) looked around. He was surprised and\nslightly alarmed to \ufb01nd that Arthur had company.\n- Yes? Hello? - he called. - Has Mr. Dent come to his senses yet?\n- Can we for the moment, - called Ford, - assume that he hasn\u2019t?\n- Well? - sighed Mr. Prosser.\n- And can we also assume, - said Ford, - that he\u2019s going to be staying here\nall day?\n- So?\n- So all your men are going to be standing around all day doing nothing?\n- Could be, could be...\n- Well, if you\u2019re resigned to doing that anyway, you don\u2019t actually need him\nto lie here all the time do you?\n- What?\n- You don\u2019t, - said Ford patiently, - actually need him here.", "ef5e7b83-9a61-45f8-ba7f-1f2a675532fa": "15\nMr. Prosser thought about this.\n- Well no, not as such... - he said, - not exactly need... - Prosser was worried.\nHe thought that one of them wasn\u2019t making a lot of sense.\nFord said,\n- So if you would just like to take it as read that he\u2019s actually here, then he\nand I could slip o\ufb00 down to the pub for half an hour. How does that sound?\nMr. Prosser thought it sounded perfectly potty.\n- That sounds perfectly reasonable, - he said in a reassuring tone of voice,\nwondering who he was trying to reassure.\n- And if you want to pop o\ufb00 for a quick one yourself later on, - said Ford, -\nwe can always cover up for you in return.\n- Thank you very much, - said Mr. Prosser who no longer knew how to play\nthis at all, - thank you very much, yes, that\u2019s very kind... - He frowned, then\nsmiled, then tried to do both at once, failed, grasped hold of his fur hat and\nrolled it \ufb01tfully round the top of his head. He could only assume that he had\njust won.\n- So, - continued Ford Prefect, - if you would just like to come over here and\nlie down...\n- What? - said Mr. Prosser.\n- Ah, I\u2019m sorry, - said Ford, - perhaps I hadn\u2019t made myself fully clear.\nSomebody\u2019s got to lie in front of the bulldozers haven\u2019t they? Or there won\u2019t\nbe anything to stop them driving into Mr. Dent\u2019s house will there?\n- What? - said Mr. Prosser again.\n- It\u2019s very simple, - said Ford, - my client, Mr. Dent, says that he will stop\nlying here in the mud on the sole condition that you come and take over from\nhim.\n- What are you talking about? - said Arthur, but Ford nudged him with his\nshoe to be quiet.\n- You want me, - said Mr. Prosser, spelling out this new thought to himself,\n- to come and lie there...\n- Yes.\n- In front of the bulldozer?\n- Yes.\n- Instead of Mr. Dent.\n- Yes.\n- In the mud.\n- In, as you say it, the mud.\nAs soon as Mr. Prosser realized that he was substantially the loser after all,\nit was as if a weight lifted itself o\ufb00 his shoulders: this was more like the world\nas he knew it. He sighed.\n- In return for which you will take Mr. Dent with you down to the pub?\n- That\u2019s it, - said Ford. - That\u2019s it exactly.\nMr. Prosser took a few nervous steps forward and stopped.\n- Promise?\n- Promise, - said Ford. He turned to Arthur.\n- Come on, - he said to him, - get up and let the man lie down.\nArthur stood up, feeling as if he was in a dream.\nFord beckoned to Prosser who sadly, awkwardly, sat down in the mud. He\nfelt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered", "dff839af-4c38-4ea9-b1d4-a0a89e9603d4": "16 CHAPTER 1.\nwhose it was and whether they were enjoying it. The mud folded itself round\nhis bottom and his arms and oozed into his shoes.\nFord looked at him severely.\n- And no sneaky knocking down Mr. Dent\u2019s house whilst he\u2019s away, alright?\n- he said.\n- The mere thought, - growled Mr. Prosser, - hadn\u2019t even begun to speculate,\n- he continued, settling himself back, - about the merest possibility of crossing\nmy mind.\nHe saw the bulldozer driver\u2019s union representative approaching and let his\nhead sink back and closed his eyes. He was trying to marshal his arguments\nfor proving that he did not now constitute a mental health hazard himself. He\nwas far from certain about this - his mind seemed to be full of noise, horses,\nsmoke, and the stench of blood. This always happened when he felt miserable\nand put upon, and he had never been able to explain it to himself. In a high\ndimension of which we know nothing the mighty Khan bellowed with rage, but\nMr. Prosser only trembled slightly and whimpered. He began to fell little\npricks of water behind the eyelids. Bureaucratic cock-ups, angry men lying in\nthe mud, indecipherable strangers handing out inexplicable humiliations and an\nunidenti\ufb01ed army of horsemen laughing at him in his head - what a day.\nWhat a day. Ford Prefect knew that it didn\u2019t matter a pair of dingo\u2019s kidneys\nwhether Arthur\u2019s house got knocked down or not now.\nArthur remained very worried.\n- But can we trust him? - he said.\n- Myself I\u2019d trust him to the end of the Earth, - said Ford.\n- Oh yes, - said Arthur, - and how far\u2019s that?\n- About twelve minutes away, - said Ford, - come on, I need a drink.", "7744348a-ea31-4d49-b9ec-4674436c4be0": "Chapter 2\nHere\u2019s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that\nalcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and\nalso notes its intoxicating e\ufb00ect on certain carbon-based life forms.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that\nthe best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.\nIt says that the e\ufb00ect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your\nbrains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.\nThe Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle\nBlasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary\norganizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.\nThe Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.\nTake the juice from one bottle of that Ol\u2019 Janx Spirit, it says.\nPour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V - Oh that\nSantraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean \ufb01sh!!!\nAllow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must\nbe properly iced or the benzine is lost).\nAllow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all\nthose happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.\nOver the back of a silver spoon \ufb02oat a measure of Qualactin Hypermint\nextract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle\nsweet and mystic.\nDrop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the\n\ufb01res of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.\nSprinkle Zamphuor.\nAdd an olive.\nDrink... but... very carefully...\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclo-\npedia Galactica.\n- Six pints of bitter, - said Ford Prefect to the barman of the Horse and\nGroom. - And quickly please, the world\u2019s about to end.\nThe barman of the Horse and Groom didn\u2019t deserve this sort of treatment,\nhe was a digni\ufb01ed old man. He pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at\nFord Prefect. Ford ignored him and stared out of the window, so the barman\nlooked instead at Arthur who shrugged helplessly and said nothing.\nSo the barman said,\n- Oh yes sir? Nice weather for it, - and started pulling pints.\nHe tried again.\n17", "1245de3e-9478-44fa-b0e6-aeb6c57f6933": "18 CHAPTER 2.\n- Going to watch the match this afternoon then?\nFord glanced round at him.\n- No, no point, - he said, and looked back out of the window.\n- What\u2019s that, foregone conclusion then you reckon sir? - said the barman.\n- Arsenal without a chance?\n- No, no, - said Ford, - it\u2019s just that the world\u2019s about to end.\n- Oh yes sir, so you said, - said the barman, looking over his glasses this time\nat Arthur. - Lucky escape for Arsenal if it did.\nFord looked back at him, genuinely surprised.\n- No, not really, - he said. He frowned.\nThe barman breathed in heavily.\n- There you are sir, six pints, - he said.\nArthur smiled at him wanly and shrugged again. He turned and smiled\nwanly at the rest of the pub just in case any of them had heard what was going\non.\nNone of them had, and none of them could understand what he was smiling\nat them for.\nA man sitting next to Ford at the bar looked at the two men, looked at the\nsix pints, did a swift burst of mental arithmetic, arrived at an answer he liked\nand grinned a stupid hopeful grin at them.\n- Get o\ufb00, - said Ford, - They\u2019re ours, - giving him a look that would have an\nAlgolian Suntiger get on with what it was doing.\nFord slapped a \ufb01ve-pound note on the bar. He said,\n- Keep the change.\n- What, from a \ufb01ver? Thank you sir.\n- You\u2019ve got ten minutes left to spend it.\nThe barman simply decided to walk away for a bit.\n- Ford, - said Arthur, - would you please tell me what the hell is going on?\n- Drink up, - said Ford, - you\u2019ve got three pints to get through.\n- Three pints? - said Arthur. - At lunchtime?\nThe man next to ford grinned and nodded happily. Ford ignored him. He\nsaid,\n- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.\n- Very deep, - said Arthur, - you should send that in to the Reader\u2019s Digest.\nThey\u2019ve got a page for people like you.\n- Drink up.\n- Why three pints all of a sudden?\n- Muscle relaxant, you\u2019ll need it.\n- Muscle relaxant?\n- Muscle relaxant.\nArthur stared into his beer.\n- Did I do anything wrong today, - he said, - or has the world always been\nlike this and I\u2019ve been too wrapped up in myself to notice?\n- Alright, - said Ford, - I\u2019ll try to explain. How long have we known each\nother?\n- How long? - Arthur thought. - Er, about \ufb01ve years, maybe six, - he said.\n- Most of it seemed to make some sense at the time.\n- Alright, - said Ford. - How would you react if I said that I\u2019m not from\nGuildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betel-\ngeuse?", "4fae0186-42f9-47fa-8ef2-5b3cf93bfc0f": "19\nArthur shrugged in a so-so sort of way.\n- I don\u2019t know, - he said, taking a pull of beer. - Why - do you think it\u2019s the\nsort of thing you\u2019re likely to say?\nFord gave up. It really wasn\u2019t worth bothering at the moment, what with\nthe world being about to end. He just said:\n- Drink up.\nHe added, perfectly factually:\n- The world\u2019s about to end.\nArthur gave the rest of the pub another wan smile. The rest of the pub\nfrowned at him. A man waved at him to stop smiling at them and mind his\nown business.\n- This must be Thursday, - said Arthur musing to himself, sinking low over\nhis beer, - I never could get the hang of Thursdays.", "36444a45-648a-45f9-894f-cf22eaefc903": "20 CHAPTER 2.", "02a5bb51-ac65-441d-806b-a8c5f6dec46b": "Chapter 3\nOn this particular Thursday, something was moving quietly through the iono-\nsphere many miles above the surface of the planet; several somethings in fact,\nseveral dozen huge yellow chunky slablike somethings, huge as o\ufb03ce buildings,\nsilent as birds. They soared with ease, basking in electromagnetic rays from the\nstar Sol, biding their time, grouping, preparing.\nThe planet beneath them was almost perfectly oblivious of their presence,\nwhich was just how they wanted it for the moment. The huge yellow somethings\nwent unnoticed at Goonhilly, they passed over Cape Canaveral without a blip,\nWoomera and Jodrell Bank looked straight through them - which was a pity\nbecause it was exactly the sort of thing they\u2019d been looking for all these years.\nThe only place they registered at all was on a small black device called a\nSub-Etha Sens-O-Matic which winked away quietly to itself. It nestled in the\ndarkness inside a leather satchel which Ford Prefect wore habitually round his\nneck. The contents of Ford Prefect\u2019s satchel were quite interesting in fact and\nwould have made any Earth physicist\u2019s eyes pop out of his head, which is why\nhe always concealed them by keeping a couple of dog-eared scripts for plays\nhe pretended he was auditioning for stu\ufb00ed in the top. Besides the Sub-Etha\nSens-O-Matic and the scripts he had an Electronic Thumb - a short squat black\nrod, smooth and matt with a couple of \ufb02at switches and dials at one end; he also\nhad a device which looked rather like a largish electronic calculator. This had\nabout a hundred tiny \ufb02at press buttons and a screen about four inches square\non which any one of a million \u201dpages\u201d could be summoned at a moment\u2019s notice.\nIt looked insanely complicated, and this was one of the reasons why the snug\nplastic cover it \ufb01tted into had the words Don\u2019t Panic printed on it in large\nfriendly letters. The other reason was that this device was in fact that most\nremarkable of all books ever to come out of the great publishing corporations\nof Ursa Minor - The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy. The reason why it\nwas published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if\nit were printed in normal book form, an interstellar hitch hiker would require\nseveral inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in.\nBeneath that in Ford Prefect\u2019s satchel were a few biros, a notepad, and a\nlargish bath towel from Marks and Spencer.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject\nof towels.\nA towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch\nhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you\nfor warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on\n21", "1eedcab7-ad79-416e-bc4f-c6a9171e8b33": "22 CHAPTER 3.\nit on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady\nsea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on\nthe desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy\nriver Moth; wet it for use in hand-tohand-combat; wrap it round your head to\nward o\ufb00 noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast\nof Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can\u2019t see it, it\ncan\u2019t see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in\nemergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself o\ufb00 with it if it still\nseems to be clean enough.\nMore importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some rea-\nson, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel\nwith him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a tooth-\nbrush, face \ufb02annel, soap, tin of biscuits, \ufb02ask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat\nspray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then\nhappily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch\nhiker might accidentally have \u201dlost\u201d. What the strag will think is that any man\nwho can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle\nagainst terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly\na man to be reckoned with.\nHence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in\n- Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There\u2019s a frood who really knows\nwhere his towel is.\n(Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy;\nfrood: really amazingly together guy.)\nNestling quietly on top of the towel in Ford Prefect\u2019s satchel, the Sub-Etha\nSens-O-Matic began to wink more quickly. Miles above the surface of the planet\nthe huge yellow somethings began to fan out. At Jodrell Bank, someone decided\nit was time for a nice relaxing cup of tea.\n- You got a towel with you? - said Ford Prefect suddenly to Arthur.\nArthur, struggling through his third pint, looked round at him.\n- Why? What, no... should I have? - He had given up being surprised, there\ndidn\u2019t seem to be any point any longer.\nFord clicked his tongue in irritation.\n- Drink up, - he urged.\nAt that moment the dull sound of a rumbling crash from outside \ufb01ltered\nthrough the low murmur of the pub, through the sound of the jukebox, through\nthe sound of the man next to Ford hiccupping over the whisky Ford had even-\ntually bought him.\nArthur choked on his beer, leapt to his feet.\n- What\u2019s that? - he yelped.\n- Don\u2019t worry, - said Ford, - they haven\u2019t started yet.\n- Thank God for that, - said Arthur and relaxed.\n- It\u2019s probably just your house being knocked down, - said Ford, drowning\nhis last pint.\n- What? - shouted Arthur. Suddenly Ford\u2019s spell was broken. Arthur looked\nwildly around him and ran to the window.\n- My God they are! They\u2019re knocking my house down. What the hell am I\ndoing in the pub, Ford?\n- It hardly makes any di\ufb00erence at this stage, - said Ford, - let them have\ntheir fun.", "478ad7d5-7589-4c28-bad5-cdae1f49df08": "23\n- Fun? - yelped Arthur. - Fun! - He quickly checked out of the window again\nthat they were talking about the same thing.\n- Damn their fun! - he hooted and ran out of the pub furiously waving a\nnearly empty beer glass. He made no friends at all in the pub that lunchtime.\n- Stop, you vandals! You home wreckers! - bawled Arthur. - You half crazed\nVisigoths, stop will you!\nFord would have to go after him. Turning quickly to the barman he asked\nfor four packets of peanuts.\n- There you are sir, - said the barman, slapping the packets on the bar, -\ntwenty-eight pence if you\u2019d be so kind.\nFord was very kind - he gave the barman another \ufb01ve-pound note and told\nhim to keep the change. The barman looked at it and then looked at Ford.\nHe suddenly shivered: he experienced a momentary sensation that he didn\u2019t\nunderstand because no one on Earth had ever experienced it before. In moments\nof great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny sublimal signal. This\nsignal simply communicates an exact and almost pathetic sense of how far that\nbeing is from the place of his birth. On Earth it is never possible to be further\nthan sixteen thousand miles from your birthplace, which really isn\u2019t very far,\nso such signals are too minute to be noticed. Ford Prefect was at this moment\nunder great stress, and he was born 600 light years away in the near vicinity of\nBetelgeuse.\nThe barman reeled for a moment, hit by a shocking, incomprehensible sense\nof distance. He didn\u2019t know what it meant, but he looked at Ford Prefect with\na new sense of respect, almost awe.\n- Are you serious, sir? - he said in a small whisper which had the e\ufb00ect of\nsilencing the pub. - You think the world\u2019s going to end?\n- Yes, - said Ford.\n- But, this afternoon?\nFord had recovered himself. He was at his \ufb02ippest.\n- Yes, - he said gaily, - in less than two minutes I would estimate.\nThe barman couldn\u2019t believe the conversation he was having, but he couldn\u2019t\nbelieve the sensation he had just had either.\n- Isn\u2019t there anything we can do about it then? - he said.\n- No, nothing, - said Ford, stu\ufb03ng the peanuts into his pockets.\nSomeone in the hushed bar suddenly laughed raucously at how stupid ev-\neryone had become.\nThe man sitting next to Ford was a bit sozzled by now. His eyes waved their\nway up to Ford.\n- I thought, - he said, - that if the world was going to end we were meant to\nlie down or put a paper bag over our head or something.\n- If you like, yes, - said Ford.\n- That\u2019s what they told us in the army, - said the man, and his eyes began\nthe long trek back down to his whisky.\n- Will that help? - asked the barman.\n- No, - said Ford and gave him a friendly smile. - Excuse me, - he said, -\nI\u2019ve got to go. - With a wave, he left.\nThe pub was silent for a moment longer, and then, embarrassingly enough,\nthe man with the raucous laugh did it again. The girl he had dragged along\nto the pub with him had grown to loathe him dearly over the last hour or so,\nand it would probably have been a great satisfaction to her to know that in a", "823dc829-03aa-41f3-9ddc-3f5c7d43abd9": "24 CHAPTER 3.\nminute and a half or so he would suddenly evaporate into a whi\ufb00 of hydrogen,\nozone and carbon monoxide. However, when the moment came she would be\ntoo busy evaporating herself to notice it.\nThe barman cleared his throat. He heard himself say:\n- Last orders, please.\nThe huge yellow machines began to sink downward and to move faster.\nFord knew they were there. This wasn\u2019t the way he had wanted it.\nRunning up the lane, Arthur had nearly reached his house. He didn\u2019t notice\nhow cold it had suddenly become, he didn\u2019t notice the wind, he didn\u2019t notice the\nsudden irrational squall of rain. He didn\u2019t notice anything but the caterpillar\nbulldozers crawling over the rubble that had been his home.\n- You barbarians! - he yelled. - I\u2019ll sue the council for every penny it\u2019s got!\nI\u2019ll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And whipped! And boiled... until...\nuntil... until you\u2019ve had enough.\nFord was running after him very fast. Very very fast.\n- And then I\u2019ll do it again! - yelled Arthur. - And when I\u2019ve \ufb01nished I will\ntake all the little bits, and I will jump on them!\nArthur didn\u2019t notice that the men were running from the bulldozers; he\ndidn\u2019t notice that Mr. Prosser was staring hectically into the sky. What Mr.\nProsser had noticed was that huge yellow somethings were screaming through\nthe clouds. Impossibly huge yellow somethings.\n- And I will carry on jumping on them, - yelled Arthur, still running, - until\nI get blisters, or I can think of anything even more unpleasant to do, and then...\nArthur tripped, and fell headlong, rolled and landed \ufb02at on his back. At last\nhe noticed that something was going on. His \ufb01nger shot upwards.\n- What the hell\u2019s that? - he shrieked.\nWhatever it was raced across the sky in monstrous yellowness, tore the sky\napart with mind-buggering noise and leapt o\ufb00 into the distance leaving the\ngaping air to shut behind it with a bang that drove your ears six feet into your\nskull.\nAnother one followed and did the same thing only louder.\nIt\u2019s di\ufb03cult to say exactly what the people on the surface of the planet were\ndoing now, because they didn\u2019t really know what they were doing themselves.\nNone of it made a lot of sense - running into houses, running out of houses,\nhowling noiselessly at the noise. All around the world city streets exploded\nwith people, cars slewed into each other as the noise fell on them and then\nrolled o\ufb00 like a tidal wave over hills and valleys, deserts and oceans, seeming to\n\ufb02atten everything it hit.\nOnly one man stood and watched the sky, stood with terrible sadness in\nhis eyes and rubber bungs in his ears. He knew exactly what was happening\nand had known ever since his Sub-Etha Sens-OMatic had started winking in\nthe dead of night beside his pillar and woken him with a start. It was what he\nhad waited for all these years, but when he had deciphered the signal pattern\nsitting alone in his small dark room a coldness had gripped him and squeezed\nhis heart. Of all the races in all of the Galaxy who could have come and said a\nbig hello to planet Earth, he thought, didn\u2019t it just have to be the Vogons.\nStill he knew what he had to do. As the Vogon craft screamed through the\nair high above him he opened his satchel. He threw away a copy of Joseph and\nthe Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, he threw away a copy of Godspell: He", "7f619603-f08f-4cc9-8850-12a2e26d5c78": "25\nwouldn\u2019t need them where he was going. Everything was ready, everything was\nprepared.\nHe knew where his towel was.\nA sudden silence hit the Earth. If anything it was worse than the noise. For\na while nothing happened.\nThe great ships hung motionless in the air, over every nation on Earth.\nMotionless they hung, huge, heavy, steady in the sky, a blasphemy against\nnature. Many people went straight into shock as their minds tried to encompass\nwhat they were looking at. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way\nthat bricks don\u2019t.\nAnd still nothing happened.\nThen there was a slight whisper, a sudden spacious whisper of open ambient\nsound. Every hi \ufb01 set in the world, every radio, every television, every cassette\nrecorder, every woofer, every tweeter, every mid-range driver in the world quietly\nturned itself on.\nEvery tin can, every dust bin, every window, every car, every wine glass,\nevery sheet of rusty metal became activated as an acoustically perfect sounding\nboard.\nBefore the Earth passed away it was going to be treated to the very ultimate\nin sound reproduction, the greatest public address system ever built. But there\nwas no concert, no music, no fanfare, just a simple message.\n- People of Earth, your attention please, - a voice said, and it was wonderful.\nWonderful perfect quadrophonic sound with distortion levels so low as to make\na brave man weep.\n- This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Coun-\ncil, - the voice continued. - As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for\ndevelopment of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hy-\nperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet\nis one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less that\ntwo of your Earth minutes. Thank you.\nThe PA died away.\nUncomprehending terror settled on the watching people of Earth. The terror\nmoved slowly through the gathered crowds as if they were iron \ufb01llings on a\nsheet of board and a magnet was moving beneath them. Panic sprouted again,\ndesperate \ufb02eeing panic, but there was nowhere to \ufb02ee to.\nObserving this, the Vogons turned on their PA again. It said:\n- There\u2019s no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts\nand demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department\non Alpha Centauri for \ufb01fty of your Earth years, so you\u2019ve had plenty of time to\nlodge any formal complaint and it\u2019s far too late to start making a fuss about it\nnow.\nThe PA fell silent again and its echo drifted o\ufb00 across the land. The huge\nships turned slowly in the sky with easy power. On the underside of each a\nhatchway opened, an empty black space.\nBy this time somebody somewhere must have manned a radio transmitter,\nlocated a wavelength and broadcasted a message back to the Vogon ships, to\nplead on behalf of the planet. Nobody ever heard what they said, they only\nheard the reply. The PA slammed back into life again. The voice was annoyed.\nIt said:", "bc1a507a-b31b-4543-b2eb-bfe7d6ab376a": "26 CHAPTER 3.\n- What do you mean you\u2019ve never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven\u2019s\nsake mankind, it\u2019s only four light years away you know. I\u2019m sorry, but if you\ncan\u2019t be bothered to take an interest in local a\ufb00airs that\u2019s your own lookout.\n- Energize the demolition beams.\nLight poured out into the hatchways.\n- I don\u2019t know, - said the voice on the PA, - apathetic bloody planet, I\u2019ve no\nsympathy at all. - It cut o\ufb00.\nThere was a terrible ghastly silence.\nThere was a terrible ghastly noise.\nThere was a terrible ghastly silence.\nThe Vogon Constructor \ufb02eet coasted away into the inky starry void.", "b464da71-5a6f-4f78-9b19-d642ddcd9994": "Chapter 4\nFar away on the opposite spiral arm of the Galaxy, \ufb01ve hundred thousand light\nyears from the star Sol, Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of the Imperial Galactic\nGovernment, sped across the seas of Damogran, his ion drive delta boat winking\nand \ufb02ashing in the Damogran sun.\nDamogran the hot; Damogran the remote; Damogran the almost totally\nunheard of.\nDamogran, secret home of the Heart of Gold.\nThe boat sped on across the water. It would be some time before it reached\nits destination because Damogran is such an inconveniently arranged planet. It\nconsists of nothing but middling to large desert islands separated by very pretty\nbut annoyingly wide stretches of ocean.\nThe boat sped on.\nBecause of this topological awkwardness Damogran has always remained a\ndeserted planet. This is why the Imperial Galactic Government chose Damogran\nfor the Heart of Gold project, because it was so deserted and the Heart of Gold\nwas so secret.\nThe boat zipped and skipped across the sea, the sea that lay between the\nmain islands of the only archipelago of any useful size on the whole planet.\nZaphod Beeblebrox was on his way from the tiny spaceport on Easter Island\n(the name was an entirely meaningless coincidence - in Galacticspeke, easter\nmeans small \ufb02at and light brown) to the Heart of Gold island, which by another\nmeaningless coincidence was called France.\nOne of the side e\ufb00ects of work on the Heart of Gold was a whole string of\npretty meaningless coincidences.\nBut it was not in any way a coincidence that today, the day of culmination of\nthe project, the great day of unveiling, the day that the Heart of Gold was \ufb01nally\nto be introduced to a marvelling Galaxy, was also a great day of culmination\nfor Zaphod Beeblebrox. It was for the sake of this day that he had \ufb01rst decided\nto run for the Presidency, a decision which had sent waves of astonishment\nthroughout the Imperial Galaxy - Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the\nZaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as a clinching proof\nthat the whole of known creation had \ufb01nally gone bananas.\nZaphod grinned and gave the boat an extra kick of speed.\nZaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippy, good timer, (crook? quite possi-\nbly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought\nto be completely out to lunch.\nPresident?\n27", "318a469b-02ca-4383-a447-12890aff7660": "28 CHAPTER 4.\nNo one had gone bananas, not in that way at least.\nOnly six people in the entire Galaxy understood the principle on which\nthe Galaxy was governed, and they knew that once Zaphod Beeblebrox had\nannounced his intention to run as President it was more or less a fait accompli:\nhe was the ideal Presidency fodder\nPresident : full title President of the Imperial Galactic Government. The\nterm Imperial is kept though it is now an anachronism. The hereditary Emperor\nis nearly dead and has been so for many centuries. In the last moments of his\ndying coma he was locked in a statis \ufb01eld which keeps him in a state of perpetual\nunchangingness. All his heirs are now long dead, and this means that without\nany drastic political upheaval, power has simply and e\ufb00ectively moved a rung or\ntwo down the ladder, and is now seen to be vested in a body which used to act\nsimply as advisers to the Emperor - an elected Governmental assembly headed\nby a President elected by that assembly. In fact it vests in no such place.\nThe President in particular is very much a \ufb01gurehead - he wields no real\npower whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities\nhe is required to display are not those of leadership but those of \ufb01nely judged\noutrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always\nan infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to\ndraw attention away from it. On those criteria Zaphod Beeblebrox is one of the\nmost successful Presidents the Galaxy has ever had - he has already spent two\nof his ten Presidential years in prison for fraud. Very very few people realize\nthat the President and the Government have virtually no power at all, and of\nthese very few people only six know whence ultimate political power is wielded.\nMost of the others secretly believe that the ultimate decision-making process is\nhandled by a computer. They couldn\u2019t be more wrong.\u00bf\nWhat they completely failed to understand was why Zaphod was doing it.\nHe banked sharply, shooting a wild wall of water at the sun.\nToday was the day; today was the day when they would realize what Zaphod\nhad been up to. Today was what Zaphod Beeblebrox\u2019s Presidency was all\nabout. Today was also his two hundredth birthday, but that was just another\nmeaningless coincidence.\nAs he skipped his boat across the seas of Damogran he smiled quietly to\nhimself about what a wonderful exciting day it was going to be. He relaxed and\nspread his two arms lazily across the seat back. He steered with an extra arm\nhe\u2019d recently \ufb01tted just beneath his right one to help improve his ski-boxing.\n- Hey, - he cooed to himself, - you\u2019re a real cool boy you. - But his nerves\nsang a song shriller than a dog whistle.\nThe island of France was about twenty miles long, \ufb01ve miles across the\nmiddle, sandy and crescent shaped. In fact it seemed to exist not so much as\nan island in its own right as simply a means of de\ufb01ning the sweep and curve of\na huge bay. This impression was heightened by the fact that the inner coastline\nof the crescent consisted almost entirely of steep cli\ufb00s. From the top of the cli\ufb00\nthe land sloped slowly down \ufb01ve miles to the opposite shore.\nOn top of the cli\ufb00s stood a reception committee.\nIt consisted in large part of the engineers and researchers who had built the\nHeart of Gold - mostly humanoid, but here and there were a few reptiloid atom-\nineers, two or three green slyph-like maximegalacticans, an octopoid physuc-\nturalist or two and a Hooloovoo (a Hooloovoo is a super-intelligent shade of the\ncolor blue). All except the Hooloovoo were resplendent in their multicolored", "bb03b61f-0974-40ec-83dc-a82ebb930dab": "29\nceremonial lab coats; the Hooloovoo had been temporarily refracted into a free\nstanding prism for the occasion.\nThere was a mood of immense excitement thrilling through all of them. To-\ngether and between them they had gone to and beyond the furthest limits of\nphysical laws, restructured the fundamental fabric of matter, strained, twisted\nand broken the laws of possibility and impossibility, but still the greatest ex-\ncitement of all seemed to be to meet a man with an orange sash round his neck.\n(An orange sash was what the President of the Galaxy traditionally wore.) It\nmight not even have made much di\ufb00erence to them if they\u2019d known exactly how\nmuch power the President of the Galaxy actually wielded: none at all. Only six\npeople in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to\nwield power but to attract attention away from it.\nZaphod Beeblebrox was amazingly good at his job.\nThe crowd gasped, dazzled by sun and seemanship, as the Presidential speed-\nboat zipped round the headland into the bay. It \ufb02ashed and shone as it came\nskating over the sea in wide skidding turns.\nIn fact it didn\u2019t need to touch the water at all, because it was supported\non a hazy cushion of ionized atoms - but just for e\ufb00ect it was \ufb01tted with thin\n\ufb01nblades which could be lowered into the water. They slashed sheets of water\nhissing into the air, carved deep gashes into the sea which swayed crazily and\nsank back foaming into the boat\u2019s wake as it careered across the bay.\nZaphod loved e\ufb00ect: it was what he was best at.\nHe twisted the wheel sharply, the boat slewed round in a wild scything skid\nbeneath the cli\ufb00 face and dropped to rest lightly on the rocking waves.\nWithin seconds he ran out onto the deck and waved and grinned at over\nthree billion people. The three billion people weren\u2019t actually there, but they\nwatched his every gesture through the eyes of a small robot tri-D camera which\nhovered obsequiously in the air nearby. The antics of the President always made\namazingly popular tri-D; that\u2019s what they were for.\nHe grinned again. Three billion and six people didn\u2019t know it, but today\nwould be a bigger antic than anyone had bargained for.\nThe robot camera homed in for a close up on the more popular of his two\nheads and he waved again. He was roughly humanoid in appearance except\nfor the extra head and third arm. His fair tousled hair stuck out in random\ndirections, his blue eyes glinted with something completely unidenti\ufb01able, and\nhis chins were almost always unshaven.\nA twenty-foot-high transparent globe \ufb02oated next to his boat, rolling and\nbobbing, glistening in the brilliant sun. Inside it \ufb02oated a wide semi-circular\nsofa upholstered in glorious red leather: the more the globe bobbed and rolled,\nthe more the sofa stayed perfectly still, steady as an upholstered rock. Again,\nall done for e\ufb00ect as much as anything.\nZaphod stepped through the wall of the globe and relaxed on the sofa. He\nspread his two arms lazily along the back and with the third brushed some\ndust o\ufb00 his knee. His heads looked about, smiling; he put his feet up. At any\nmoment, he thought, he might scream.\nWater boiled up beneath the bubble, it seethed and spouted. The bubble\nsurged into the air, bobbing and rolling on the water spout. Up, up it climbed,\nthrowing stilts of light at the cli\ufb00. Up it surged on the jet, the water falling\nfrom beneath it, crashing back into the sea hundreds of feet below.\nZaphod smiled, picturing himself.", "e93f8daa-3303-4717-8986-98243798409a": "30 CHAPTER 4.\nA thoroughly ridiculous form of transport, but a thoroughly beautiful one.\nAt the top of the cli\ufb00 the globe wavered for a moment, tipped on to a railed\nramp, rolled down it to a small concave platform and riddled to a halt.\nTo tremendous applause Zaphod Beeblebrox stepped out of the bubble, his\norange sash blazing in the light.\nThe President of the Galaxy had arrived.\nHe waited for the applause to die down, then raised his hands in greeting.\n- Hi, - he said.\nA government spider sidled up to him and attempted to press a copy of his\nprepared speech into his hands. Pages three to seven of the original version were\nat the moment \ufb02oating soggily on the Damogran sea some \ufb01ve miles out from\nthe bay. Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested\nEagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of\nnest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier m@ch@\nand it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of\nit. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of\nthe species but wanted no truck with it.\nZaphod Beeblebrox would not be needing his set speech and he gently de-\n\ufb02ected the one being o\ufb00ered him by the spider.\n- Hi, - he said again.\nEveryone beamed at him, or, at least, nearly everyone. He singled out\nTrillian from the crowd. Trillian was a gird that Zaphod had picked up recently\nwhilst visiting a planet, just for fun, incognito. She was slim, darkish, humanoid,\nwith long waves of black hair, a full mouth, an odd little nob of a nose and\nridiculously brown eyes. With her red head scarf knotted in that particular\nway and her long \ufb02owing silky brown dress she looked vaguely Arabic. Not\nthat anyone there had ever heard of an Arab of course. The Arabs had very\nrecently ceased to exist, and even when they had existed they were \ufb01ve hundred\nthousand light years from Damogran. Trillian wasn\u2019t anybody in particular, or\nso Zaphod claimed. She just went around with him rather a lot and told him\nwhat she thought of him.\n- Hi honey, - he said to her.\nShe \ufb02ashed him a quick tight smile and looked away. Then she looked back\nfor a moment and smiled more warmly - but by this time he was looking at\nsomething else.\n- Hi, - he said to a small knot of creatures from the press who were standing\nnearby wishing that he would stop saying Hi and get on with the quotes. He\ngrinned at them particularly because he knew that in a few moments he would\nbe giving them one hell of a quote.\nThe next thing he said though was not a lot of use to them. One of the\no\ufb03cials of the party had irritably decided that the President was clearly not in\na mood to read the deliciously turned speech that had been written for him,\nand had \ufb02ipped the switch on the remote control device in his pocket. Away\nin front of them a huge white dome that bulged against the sky cracked down\nin the middle, split, and slowly folded itself down into the ground. Everyone\ngasped although they had known perfectly well it was going to do that because\nthey had built it that way.\nBeneath it lay uncovered a huge starship, one hundred and \ufb01fty metres long,\nshaped like a sleek running shoe, perfectly white and mindboggingly beautiful.\nAt the heart of it, unseen, lay a small gold box which carried within it the most", "74fb3e2a-0f08-41fd-8175-7bea040a2d24": "31\nbrain-wretching device ever conceived, a device which made this starship unique\nin the history of the galaxy, a device after which the ship had been named - The\nHeart of Gold.\n- Wow, - said Zaphod Beeblebrox to the Heart of Gold. There wasn\u2019t much\nelse he could say.\nHe said it again because he knew it would annoy the press.\n- Wow.\nThe crowd turned their faces back towards him expectantly. He winked at\nTrillian who raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes at him. She knew what\nhe was about to say and thought him a terrible showo\ufb00.\n- That is really amazing, - he said. - That really is truly amazing. That is\nso amazingly amazing I think I\u2019d like to steal it.\nA marvellous Presidential quote, absolutely true to form. The crowd laughed\nappreciatively, the newsmen gleefully punched buttons on their Sub-Etha News-\nMatics and the President grinned.\nAs he grinned his heart screamed unbearably and he \ufb01ngered the small\nParalyso-Matic bomb that nestled quietly in his pocket.\nFinally he could bear it no more. He lifted his heads up to the sky, let out\na wild whoop in major thirds, threw the bomb to the ground and ran forward\nthrough the sea of suddenly frozen smiles.", "7f4cae8c-db6c-483f-b39d-9921815a2091": "32 CHAPTER 4.", "f3a43e00-02bd-4546-93d3-7c42326ec8cb": "Chapter 5\nProstetnic Vogon Jeltz was not a pleasant sight, even for other Vogons. His\nhighly domed nose rose high above a small piggy forehead. His dark green\nrubbery skin was thick enough for him to play the game of Vogon Civil Service\npolitics, and play it well, and waterproof enough for him to survive inde\ufb01nitely\nat sea depths of up to a thousand feet with no ill e\ufb00ects.\nNot that he ever went swimming of course. His busy schedule would not\nallow it. He was the way he was because billions of years ago when the Vogons\nhad \ufb01rst crawled out of the sluggish primeval seas of Vogsphere, and had lain\npanting and heaving on the planet\u2019s virgin shores... when the \ufb01rst rays of the\nbright young Vogsol sun had shone across them that morning, it was as if the\nforces of evolution ad simply given up on them there and then, had turned aside\nin disgust and written them o\ufb00 as an ugly and unfortunate mistake. They never\nevolved again; they should never have survived.\nThe fact that they did is some kind of tribute to the thick-willed slug-brained\nstubbornness of these creatures. Evolution? - they said to themselves, - Who\nneeds it?, - and what nature refused to do for them they simply did without\nuntil such time as they were able to rectify the grosser anatomical inconveniences\nwith surgery.\nMeanwhile, the natural forces on the planet Vogsphere had been working\novertime to make up for their earlier blunder. They brought forth scintillating\njewelled scuttling crabs, which the Vogons ate, smashing their shells with iron\nmallets; tall aspiring trees with breathtaking slenderness and colour which the\nVogons cut down and burned the crab meat with; elegant gazellelike creatures\nwith silken coats and dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on. They\nwere no use as transport because their backs would snap instantly, but the\nVogons sat on them anyway.\nThus the planet Vogsphere whiled away the unhappy millennia until the\nVogons suddenly discovered the principles of interstellar travel. Within a few\nshort Vog years every last Vogon had migrated to the Megabrantis cluster, the\npolitical hub of the Galaxy and now formed the immensely powerful backbone of\nthe Galactic Civil Service. They have attempted to acquire learning, they have\nattempted to acquire style and social grace, but in most respects the modern\nVogon is little di\ufb00erent from his primitive forebears. Every year they import\ntwenty-seven thousand scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs from their native\nplanet and while away a happy drunken night smashing them to bits with iron\nmallets.\nProstetnic Vogon Jeltz was a fairly typical Vogon in that he was thoroughly\n33", "d4713fd0-7296-448a-a0fe-f296fbf00ae1": "34 CHAPTER 5.\nvile. Also, he did not like hitch hikers.\nSomewhere in a small dark cabin buried deep in the intestines of Prostetnic\nVogon Jeltz\u2019s \ufb02agship, a small match \ufb02ared nervously. The owner of the match\nwas not a Vogon, but he knew all about them and was right to be nervous. His\nname was Ford Prefect.\nFord Prefect\u2019s original name is only pronuncible in an obscure Betelgeusian\ndialect, now virtually extinct since the Great Collapsing Hrung Disaster of Gal.\n/Sid./ Year 03758 which wiped out all the old Praxibetel communities on Betel-\ngeuse Seven. Ford\u2019s father was the only man on the entire planet to survive\nthe Great Collapsing Hrung disaster, by an extraordinary coincidence that he\nwas never able satisfactorily to explain. The whole episode is shrouded in deep\nmystery: in fact no one ever knew what a Hrung was nor why it had chosen to\ncollapse on Betelgeuse Seven particularly. Ford\u2019s father, magnanimously waving\naside the clouds of suspicion that had inevitably settled around him, came to\nlive on Betelgeuse Five where he both fathered and uncled Ford; in memory of\nhis now dead race he christened him in the ancient Praxibetel tongue.\nBecause Ford never learned to say his original name, his father eventually\ndied of shame, which is still a terminal disease in some parts of the Galaxy. The\nother kids at school nicknamed him Ix, which in the language of Betelgeuse Five\ntranslates as \u201dboy who is not able satisfactorily to explain what a Hrung is, nor\nwhy it should choose to collapse on Betelgeuse Seven\u201d\u00bf.\nHe looked about the cabin but could see very little; strange monstrous shad-\nows loomed and leaped with the tiny \ufb02ickering \ufb02ame, but all was quiet. He\nbreathed a silent thank you to the Dentrassis. The Dentrassis are an unruly\ntribe of gourmands, a wild but pleasant bunch whom the Vogons had recently\ntaken to employing as catering sta\ufb00 on their long haul \ufb02eets, on the strict un-\nderstanding that they keep themselves very much to themselves.\nThis suited the Dentrassis \ufb01ne, because they loved Vogon money, which is\none of the hardest currencies in space, but loathed the Vogons themselves. The\nonly sort of Vogon a Dentrassi liked to see was an annoyed Vogon.\nIt was because of this tiny piece of information that Ford Prefect was not\nnow a whi\ufb00 of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide.\nHe heard a slight groan. By the light of the match he saw a heavy shape\nmoving slightly on the \ufb02oor. Quickly he shook the match out, reached in his\npocket, found what he was looking for and took it out. He crouched on the\n\ufb02oor. The shape moved again.\nFord Prefect said:\n- I bought some peanuts.\nArthur Dent moved, and groaned again, muttering incoherently.\n- Here, have some, - urged Ford, shaking the packet again, - if you\u2019ve never\nbeen through a matter transference beam before you\u2019ve probably lost some salt\nand protein. The beer you had should have cushioned your system a bit.\n- Whhhrrrr... - said Arthur Dent. He opened his eyes.\n- It\u2019s dark, - he said.\n- Yes, - said Ford Prefect, - it\u2019s dark.\n- No light, - said Arthur Dent. - Dark, no light.\nOne of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about\nhuman beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the obvious,\nas in It\u2019s a nice day, or You\u2019re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down\na thirty-foot well, are you alright? At \ufb01rst Ford had formed a theory to account", "2b48438b-cfc7-4945-9862-06f6893c7a03": "35\nfor this strange behaviour. If human beings don\u2019t keep exercising their lips, he\nthought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months\u2019 consideration and\nobservation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don\u2019t keep\non exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he\nabandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite\nliked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about\nthe terrible number of things they didn\u2019t know about.\n- Yes, - he agreed with Arthur, - no light. - He helped Arthur to some\npeanuts. - How do you feel? - he asked.\n- Like a military academy, - said Arthur, - bits of me keep on passing out.\nFord stared at him blankly in the darkness.\n- If I asked you where the hell we were, - said Arthur weakly, - would I regret\nit?\nFord stood up.\n- We\u2019re safe, - he said.\n- Oh good, - said Arthur.\n- We\u2019re in a small galley cabin, - said Ford, - in one of the spaceships of the\nVogon Constructor Fleet.\n- Ah, - said Arthur, - this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe\nthat I wasn\u2019t previously aware of.\nFord struck another match to help him search for a light switch. Monstrous\nshadows leaped and loomed again. Arthur struggled to his feet and hugged\nhimself apprehensively. Hideous alien shapes seemed to throng about him, the\nair was thick with musty smells which sidled into his lungs without identifying\nthemselves, and a low irritating hum kept his brain from focusing.\n- How did we get here? - he asked, shivering slightly.\n- We hitched a lift, - said Ford.\n- Excuse me? - said Arthur. - Are you trying to tell me that we just stuck\nout our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said,\nHi fellas, hop right in. I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout?\n- Well, - said Ford, - the Thumb\u2019s an electronic sub-etha signalling device,\nthe roundabout\u2019s at Barnard\u2019s Star six light years away, but otherwise, that\u2019s\nmore or less right.\n- And the bug-eyed monster?\n- Is green, yes.\n- Fine, - said Arthur, - when can I get home?\n- You can\u2019t, - said Ford Prefect, and found the light switch.\n- Shade your eyes... - he said, and turned it on.\nEven Ford was surprised.\n- Good grief, - said Arthur, - is this really the interior of a \ufb02ying saucer?\nProstetnic Vogon Jeltz heaved his unpleasant green body round the control\nbridge. He always felt vaguely irritable after demolishing populated planets. He\nwished that someone would come and tell him that it was all wrong so that he\ncould shout at them and feel better. He \ufb02opped as heavily as he could on to\nhis control seat in the hope that it would break and give him something to be\ngenuinely angry about, but it only gave a complaining sort of creak.\n- Go away! - he shouted at a young Vogon guard who entered the bridge\nat that moment. The guard vanished immediately, feeling rather relieved. He\nwas glad it wouldn\u2019t now be him who delivered the report they\u2019d just received.\nThe report was an o\ufb03cial release which said that a wonderful new form of", "f8808213-9822-4d0b-b1ce-429fb3f88039": "36 CHAPTER 5.\nspaceship drive was at this moment being unveiled at a government research\nbase on Damogran which would henceforth make all hyperspatial express routes\nunnecessary.\nAnother door slid open, but this time the Vogon captain didn\u2019t shout because\nit was the door from the galley quarters where the Dentrassis prepared his meals.\nA meal would be most welcome.\nA huge furry creature bounded through the door with his lunch tray. It was\ngrinning like a maniac.\nProstetnic Vogon Jeltz was delighted. He knew that when a Dentrassi looked\nthat pleased with itself there was something going on somewhere on the ship\nthat he could get very angry indeed about.\nFord and Arthur stared about them.\n- Well, what do you think? - said Ford.\n- It\u2019s a bit squalid, isn\u2019t it?\nFord frowned at the grubby mattress, unwashed cups and unidenti\ufb01able bits\nof smelly alien underwear that lay around the cramped cabin.\n- Well, this is a working ship, you see, - said Ford. - These are the Dentrassi\nsleeping quarters.\n- I thought you said they were called Vogons or something.\n- Yes, - said Ford, - the Vogons run the ship, the Dentrassis are the cooks,\nthey let us on board.\n- I\u2019m confused, - said Arthur.\n- Here, have a look at this, - said Ford. He sat down on one of the mattresses\nand rummaged about in his satchel. Arthur prodded the mattress nervously and\nthen sat on it himself: in fact he had very little to be nervous about, because\nall mattresses grown in the swamps of Squornshellous Zeta are very thoroughly\nkilled and dried before being put to service. Very few have ever come to life\nagain.\nFord handed the book to Arthur.\n- What is it? - asked Arthur.\n- The Hitchhiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy. It\u2019s a sort of electronic book. It\ntells you everything you need to know about anything. That\u2019s its job.\nArthur turned it over nervously in his hands.\n- I like the cover, - he said. - Don\u2019t Panic. It\u2019s the \ufb01rst helpful or intelligible\nthing anybody\u2019s said to me all day.\n- I\u2019ll show you how it works, - said Ford. He snatched it from Arthur who\nwas still holding it as if it was a two-week-dead lark and pulled it out of its\ncover.\n- You press this button here you see and the screen lights up giving you the\nindex.\nA screen, about three inches by four, lit up and characters began to \ufb02icker\nacross the surface.\n- You want to know about Vogons, so I enter that name so. - His \ufb01ngers\ntapped some more keys. - And there we are.\nThe words Vogon Constructor Fleets \ufb02ared in green across the screen.\nFord pressed a large red button at the bottom of the screen and words began\nto undulate across it. At the same time, the book began to speak the entry as\nwell in a still quiet measured voice. This is what the book said.\n- Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from\na Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy -", "46c014ad-2156-46f5-bdff-0a0300487e0a": "37\nnot actually evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, o\ufb03cious and callous. They\nwouldn\u2019t even lift a \ufb01nger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous\nBugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back,\nqueried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and \ufb01nally buried\nin soft peat and recycled as \ufb01relighters.\n- The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your \ufb01nger down\nhis throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the\nRavenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.\n- On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.\nArthur blinked at it.\n- What a strange book. How did we get a lift then?\n- That\u2019s the point, it\u2019s out of date now, - said Ford, sliding the book back\ninto its cover. - I\u2019m doing the \ufb01eld research for the New Revised Edition, and\none of the things I\u2019ll have to include is a bit about how the Vogons now employ\nDentrassi cooks which gives us a rather useful little loophole.\nA pained expression crossed Arthur\u2019s face.\n- But who are the Dentrassi? - he said.\n- Great guys, - said Ford. - They\u2019re the best cooks and the best drink mixers\nand they don\u2019t give a wet slap about anything else. And they\u2019ll always help\nhitch hikers aboard, partly because they like the company, but mostly because\nit annoys the Vogons. Which is exactly the sort of thing you need to know if\nyou\u2019re an impoverished hitch hiker trying to see the marvels of the Universe for\nless than thirty Altairan Dollars a day. And that\u2019s my job. Fun, isn\u2019t it?\nArthur looked lost.\n- It\u2019s amazing, - he said and frowned at one of the other mattresses.\n- Unfortunately I got stuck on the Earth for rather longer than I intended,\n- said Ford. - I came for a week and got stuck for \ufb01fteen years.\n- But how did you get there in the \ufb01rst place then?\n- Easy, I got a lift with a teaser.\n- A teaser?\n- Yeah.\n- Er, what is...\n- A teaser? Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise\naround looking for planets which haven\u2019t made interstellar contact yet and buzz\nthem.\n- Buzz them? - Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life\ndi\ufb03cult for him.\n- Yeah, - said Ford, - they buzz them. They \ufb01nd some isolated spot with very\nfew people around, then land right by some poor soul whom no one\u2019s ever going\nto believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennae on\ntheir heads and making beep beep noises. Rather childish really. - Ford leant\nback on the mattress with his hands behind his head and looked infuriatingly\npleased with himself.\n- Ford, - insisted Arthur, - I don\u2019t know if this sounds like a silly question,\nbut what am I doing here?\n- Well you know that, - said Ford. - I rescued you from the Earth.\n- And what\u2019s happened to the Earth?\n- Ah. It\u2019s been demolished.\n- Has it, - said Arthur levelly.\n- Yes. It just boiled away into space.", "ac9ed6dd-aaf3-4079-b675-fb29a793e420": "38 CHAPTER 5.\n- Look, - said Arthur, - I\u2019m a bit upset about that.\nFord frowned to himself and seemed to roll the thought around his mind.\n- Yes, I can understand that, - he said at last.\n- Understand that! - shouted Arthur. - Understand that! -\nFord sprang up.\n- Keep looking at the book! - he hissed urgently.\n- What?\n- Don\u2019t Panic.\n- I\u2019m not panicking!\n- Yes you are.\n- Alright so I\u2019m panicking, what else is there to do?\n- You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy\u2019s a fun\nplace. You\u2019ll need to have this \ufb01sh in your ear.\n- I beg your pardon? - asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.\nFord was holding up a small glass jar which quite clearly had a small yellow\n\ufb01sh wriggling around in it. Arthur blinked at him. He wished there was some-\nthing simple and recognizable he could grasp hold of. He would have felt safe if\nalongside the Dentrassi underwear, the piles of Squornshellous mattresses and\nthe man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow \ufb01sh and o\ufb00ering to put it in\nhis ear he had been able to see just a small packet of corn \ufb02akes. He couldn\u2019t,\nand he didn\u2019t feel safe.\nSuddenly a violent noise leapt at them from no source that he could identify.\nHe gasped in terror at what sounded like a man trying to gargle whilst \ufb01ghting\no\ufb00 a pack of wolves.\n- Shush! - said Ford. - Listen, it might be important.\n- Im... important?\n- It\u2019s the Vogon captain making an announcement on the T\u2019annoy.\n- You mean that\u2019s how the Vogons talk?\n- Listen!\n- But I can\u2019t speak Vogon!\n- You don\u2019t need to. Just put that \ufb01sh in your ear.\nFord, with a lightning movement, clapped his hand to Arthur\u2019s ear, and he\nhad the sudden sickening sensation of the \ufb01sh slithering deep into his aural tract.\nGasping with horror he scrabbled at his ear for a second or so, but then slowly\nturned goggle-eyed with wonder. He was experiencing the aural equivalent of\nlooking at a picture of two black silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a\npicture of a white candlestick. Or of looking at a lot of coloured dots on a piece\nof paper which suddenly resolve themselves into the \ufb01gure six and mean that\nyour optician is going to charge you a lot of money for a new pair of glasses.\nHe was still listening to the howling gargles, he knew that, only now it had\ntaken on the semblance of perfectly straightforward English.\nThis is what he heard...", "9a4e6396-fe61-4ebb-a95a-a78c82346b31": "Chapter 6\n- Howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl\ngargle gargle howl gargle gargle gargle howl slurrp uuuurgh should have a good\ntime. Message repeats. This is your captain speaking, so stop whatever you\u2019re\ndoing and pay attention. First of all I see from our instruments that we have\na couple of hitchhikers aboard. Hello wherever you are. I just want to make\nit totally clear that you are not at all welcome. I worked hard to get where I\nam today, and I didn\u2019t become captain of a Vogon constructor ship simply so I\ncould turn it into a taxi service for a load of degenerate freeloaders. I have sent\nout a search party, and as soon that they \ufb01nd you I will put you o\ufb00 the ship. If\nyou\u2019re very lucky I might read you some of my poetry \ufb01rst.\n- Secondly, we are about to jump into hyperspace for the journey to Barnard\u2019s\nStar. On arrival we will stay in dock for a seventy-two hour re\ufb01t, and no one\u2019s\nto leave the ship during that time. I repeat, all planet leave is cancelled. I\u2019ve\njust had an unhappy love a\ufb00air, so I don\u2019t see why anybody else should have a\ngood time. Message ends.\nThe noise stopped.\nArthur discovered to his embarrassment that he was lying curled up in a\nsmall ball on the \ufb02oor with his arms wrapped round his head. He smiled weakly.\n- Charming man, - he said. - I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her\nto marry one...\n- You wouldn\u2019t need to, said Ford. - They\u2019ve got as much sex appeal as a\nroad accident. No, don\u2019t move, - he added as Arthur began to uncurl himself,\n- you\u2019d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It\u2019s unpleasantly like\nbeing drunk.\n- What\u2019s so unpleasant about being drunk?\n- You ask a glass of water.\nArthur thought about this.\n- Ford, - he said.\n- Yeah?\n- What\u2019s this \ufb01sh doing in my ear?\n- It\u2019s translating for you. It\u2019s a Babel \ufb01sh. Look it up in the book if you\nlike.\nHe tossed over The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy and then curled\nhimself up into a foetal ball to prepare himself for the jump.\nAt that moment the bottom fell out of Arthur\u2019s mind.\nHis eyes turned inside out. His feet began to leak out of the top of his head.\n39", "30f9fc19-3a68-48c4-8625-1cfa7c9149a3": "40 CHAPTER 6.\nThe room folded \ufb02at about him, spun around, shifted out of existence and\nleft him sliding into his own navel.\nThey were passing through hyperspace.\n- The Babel \ufb01sh, said The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy quietly, - is\nsmall, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It\nfeeds on brainwave energy not from its carrier but from those around it. It\nabsorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nour-\nish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix\nformed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked\nup from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical\nupshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel \ufb01sh in your ear you can instantly\nunderstand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns\nyou actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your\nmind by your Babel \ufb01sh.\n- Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-\nboggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have\nchosen to see it as the \ufb01nal and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.\nThe argument goes something like this:\n- I refuse to prove that I exist, - says God, - for proof denies faith, and\nwithout faith I am nothing.\n- But, - says Man, - The Babel \ufb01sh is a dead giveaway, isn\u2019t it? It could\nnot have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own\narguments, you don\u2019t. QED.\n- Oh dear, - says God, - I hadn\u2019t thought of that, - and promptly vanished\nin a pu\ufb00 of logic.\n- Oh, that was easy, - says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that\nblack is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.\n- Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo\u2019s\nkidneys, but that didn\u2019t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he\nused it as the central theme of his bestselling book Well That About Wraps It\nUp For God.\n- Meanwhile, the poor Babel \ufb01sh, by e\ufb00ectively removing all barriers to com-\nmunication between di\ufb00erent races and cultures, has caused more and bloddier\nwars than anything else in the history of creation.\nArthur let out a low groan. He was horri\ufb01ed to discover that the kick through\nhyperspace hadn\u2019t killed him. He was now six light years from the place that\nthe Earth would have been if it still existed.\nThe Earth.\nVisions of it swam sickeningly through his nauseated mind. There was no\nway his imagination could feel the impact of the whole Earth having gone, it\nwas too big. He prodded his feelings by thinking that his parents and his sister\nhad gone. No reaction. He thought of all the people he had been close to.\nNo reaction. Then he thought of a complete stranger he had been standing\nbehind in the queue at the supermarket before and felt a sudden stab - the\nsupermarket was gone, everything in it was gone. Nelson\u2019s Column had gone!\nNelson\u2019s Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was\nno one left to make an outcry. From now on Nelson\u2019s Column only existed in\nhis mind. England only existed in his mind - his mind, stuck here in this dank\nsmelly steel-lined spaceship. A wave of claustrophobia closed in on him.", "a969faba-426f-42d2-827c-6e2696fc2971": "41\nEngland no longer existed. He\u2019d got that - somehow he\u2019d got it. He tried\nagain. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn\u2019t grasp it. He decided to start\nsmaller again. New York has gone. No reaction. He\u2019d never seriously believed\nit existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, had sunk for ever. Slight tremor\nthere. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave\nhim a nasty knock. McDonalds, he thought. There is no longer any such thing\nas a McDonald\u2019s hamburger.\nHe passed out. When he came round a second later he found he was sobbing\nfor his mother.\nHe jerked himself violently to his feet.\n- Ford!\nFord looked up from where he was sitting in a corner humming to himself.\nHe always found the actual travelling-through-space part of space travel rather\ntrying.\n- Yeah? - he said.\n- If you\u2019re a researcher on this book thing and you were on Earth, you must\nhave been gathering material on it.\n- Well, I was able to extend the original entry a bit, yes.\n- Let me see what it says in this edition then, I\u2019ve got to see it.\n- Yeah OK. - He passed it over again.\nArthur grabbed hold of it and tried to stop his hands shaking. He pressed\nthe entry for the relevant page. The screen \ufb02ashed and swirled and resolved\ninto a page of print. Arthur stared at it.\n- It doesn\u2019t have an entry! - he burst out.\nFord looked over his shoulder.\n- Yes it does, - he said, - down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just\nunder Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6.\nArthur followed Ford\u2019s \ufb01nger, and saw where it was pointing. For a moment\nit still didn\u2019t register, then his mind nearly blew up.\n- What? Harmless? Is that all it\u2019s got to say? Harmless! One word!\nFord shrugged.\n- Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy, and only a limited\namount of space in the book\u2019s microprocessors, - he said, - and no one knew\nmuch about the Earth of course.\n- Well for God\u2019s sake I hope you managed to rectify that a bit.\n- Oh yes, well I managed to transmit a new entry o\ufb00 to the editor. He had\nto trim it a bit, but it\u2019s still an improvement.\n- And what does it say now? - asked Arthur.\n- Mostly harmless, - admitted Ford with a slightly embarrassed cough.\n- Mostly harmless! - shouted Arthur.\n- What was that noise? - hissed Ford.\n- It was me shouting, - shouted Arthur.\n- No! Shut up! - said Ford. I think we\u2019re in trouble.\n- You think we\u2019re in trouble!\nOutside the door were the sounds of marching feet.\n- The Dentrassi? - whispered Arthur.\n- No, those are steel tipped boots, - said Ford.\nThere was a sharp ringing rap on the door.\n- Then who is it? - said Arthur.", "250ec502-a49c-4d64-8285-2b7c4b176fe8": "42 CHAPTER 6.\n- Well, - said Ford, - if we\u2019re lucky it\u2019s just the Vogons come to throw us in\nto space.\n- And if we\u2019re unlucky?\n- If we\u2019re unlucky, - said Ford grimly, - the captain might be serious in his\nthreat that he\u2019s going to read us some of his poetry \ufb01rst...", "0861c703-d3a6-4607-b1e0-0ec7785039d1": "Chapter 7\nVogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.\nThe second worst is that of the Azagoths of Kria. During a recitation by\ntheir Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem \u201dOde To A Small Lump\nof Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning\u201d four of his\naudience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic\nArts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs o\ufb00. Grunthos is\nreported to have been \u201ddisappointed\u201d by the poem\u2019s reception, and was about\nto embark on a reading of his twelvebook epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime\nGurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and\ncivilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.\nThe very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator Paula Nancy\nMillstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the\nplanet Earth.\nProstetnic Vogon Jeltz smiled very slowly. This was done not so much for\ne\ufb00ect as because he was trying to remember the sequence of muscle movements.\nHe had had a terribly therapeutic yell at his prisoners and was now feeling quite\nrelaxed and ready for a little callousness.\nThe prisoners sat in Poetry Appreciation Chairs - strapped in. Vogons suf-\nfered no illusions as to the regard their works were generally held in. Their early\nattempts at composition had been part of bludgeoning insistence that they be\naccepted as a properly evolved and cultured race, but now the only thing that\nkept them going was sheer bloodymindedness.\nThe sweat stood out cold on Ford Prefect\u2019s brow, and slid round the elec-\ntrodes strapped to his temples. These were attached to a battery of electronic\nequipment - imagery intensi\ufb01ers, rhythmic modulators, alliterative residulators\nand simile dumpers - all designed to heighten the experience of the poem and\nmake sure that not a single nuance of the poet\u2019s thought was lost.\nArthur Dent sat and quivered. He had no idea what he was in for, but he\nknew that he hadn\u2019t liked anything that had happened so far and didn\u2019t think\nthings were likely to change.\nThe Vogon began to read - a fetid little passage of his own devising.\n- Oh frettled gruntbuggly... - he began. Spasms wracked Ford\u2019s body - this\nwas worse than ever he\u2019d been prepared for.\n- ...thy micturations are to me! As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.\n- Aaaaaaarggggghhhhhh! - went Ford Prefect, wrenching his head back as\nlumps of pain thumped through it. He could dimly see beside him Arthur lolling\nand rolling in his seat. He clenched his teeth.\n43", "93ea747a-4d67-4f12-aed7-4c8bd196f8c8": "44 CHAPTER 7.\n- Groop I implore thee, - continued the merciless Vogon, - my foonting\nturlingdromes.\nHis voice was rising to a horrible pitch of impassioned stridency.\n- And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,\u2014 Or I will rend\nthee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don\u2019t!\n- Nnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyuuuuuuurrrrrrrggggggghhhhh! - cried Ford Prefect\nand threw one \ufb01nal spasm as the electronic enhancement of the last line caught\nhim full blast across the temples. He went limp.\nArthur lolled.\n- Now Earthlings... - whirred the Vogon (he didn\u2019t know that Ford Prefect\nwas in fact from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and wouldn\u2019t have\ncared if he had) - I present you with a simple choice! Either die in the vacuum of\nspace, or... - he paused for melodramatic e\ufb00ect, - tell me how good you thought\nmy poem was!\nHe threw himself backwards into a huge leathery bat-shaped seat and watched\nthem. He did the smile again.\nFord was rasping for breath. He rolled his dusty tongue round his parched\nmouth and moaned.\nArthur said brightly:\n- Actually I quite liked it.\nFord turned and gaped. Here was an approach that had quite simply not\noccurred to him.\nThe Vogon raised a surprised eyebrow that e\ufb00ectively obscured his nose and\nwas therefore no bad thing.\n- Oh good... - he whirred, in considerable astonishment.\n- Oh yes, - said Arthur, - I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery\nwas really particularly e\ufb00ective.\nFord continued to stare at him, slowly organizing his thoughts around this\ntotally new concept. Were they really going to be able to bareface their way\nout of this?\n- Yes, do continue... - invited the Vogon.\n- Oh... and er... interesting rhythmic devices too, - continued Arthur, -\nwhich seemed to counterpoint the... er... er... - He \ufb02oundered.\nFord leaped to his rescue, hazarding \u201dcounterpoint the surrealism of the\nunderlying metaphor of the... er...\u201d He \ufb02oundered too, but Arthur was ready\nagain.\n- ...humanity of the...\n- Vogonity, - Ford hissed at him.\n- Ah yes, Vogonity (sorry) of the poet\u2019s compassionate soul, - Arthur felt he\nwas on a home stretch now, - which contrives through the medium of the verse\nstructure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the funda-\nmental dichotomies of the other, - (he was reaching a triumphant crescendo...)\n- and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into... into... er... - (... which\nsuddenly gave out on him.) Ford leaped in with the coup de grace:\n- Into whatever it was the poem was about! - he yelled. Out of the corner\nof his mouth: - Well done, Arthur, that was very good.\nThe Vogon perused them. For a moment his embittered racial soul had been\ntouched, but he thought no - too little too late. His voice took on the quality\nof a cat snagging brushed nylon.", "41341676-d664-4ec6-851d-bc91769e4b68": "45\n- So what you\u2019re saying is that I write poetry because underneath my mean\ncallous heartless exterior I really just want to be loved, - he said. He paused. -\nIs that right?\nFord laughed a nervous laugh.\n- Well I mean yes, - he said, - don\u2019t we all, deep down, you know... er...\nThe Vogon stood up.\n- No, well you\u2019re completely wrong, - he said, - I just write poetry to throw\nmy mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I\u2019m going to throw you o\ufb00\nthe ship anyway. Guard! Take the prisoners to number three airlock and throw\nthem out!\n- What? - shouted Ford.\nA huge young Vogon guard stepped forward and yanked them out of their\nstraps with his huge blubbery arms.\n- You can\u2019t throw us into space, - yelled Ford, - we\u2019re trying to write a book.\n- Resistance is useless! - shouted the Vogon guard back at him. It was the\n\ufb01rst phrase he\u2019d learnt when he joined the Vogon Guard Corps.\nThe captain watched with detached amusement and then turned away.\nArthur stared round him wildly.\n- I don\u2019t want to die now! - he yelled. - I\u2019ve still got a headache! I don\u2019t\nwant to go to heaven with a headache, I\u2019d be all cross and wouldn\u2019t enjoy it!\nThe guard grasped them both \ufb01rmly round the neck, and bowing deferen-\ntially towards his captain\u2019s back, hoiked them both protesting out of the bridge.\nA steel door closed and the captain was on his own again. He hummed quietly\nand mused to himself, lightly \ufb01ngering his notebook of verses.\n- Hmmmm, - he said, - counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor...\n- He considered this for a moment, and then closed the book with a grim smile.\n- Death\u2019s too good for them, - he said.\nThe long steel-lined corridor echoed to the feeble struggles of the two hu-\nmanoids clamped \ufb01rmly under rubbery Vogon armpits.\n- This is great, - spluttered Arthur, - this is really terri\ufb01c. Let go of me you\nbrute!\nThe Vogon guard dragged them on.\n- Don\u2019t you worry, - said Ford, - I\u2019ll think of something. - He didn\u2019t sound\nhopeful.\n- Resistance is useless! - bellowed the guard.\n- Just don\u2019t say things like that, - stammered Ford. - How can anyone\nmaintain a positive mental attitude if you\u2019re saying things like that?\n- My God, - complained Arthur, - you\u2019re talking about a positive mental\nattitude and you haven\u2019t even had your planet demolished today. I woke up\nthis morning and thought I\u2019d have a nice relaxed day, do a bit of reading, brush\nthe dog... It\u2019s now just after four in the afternoon and I\u2019m already thrown out\nof an alien spaceship six light years from the smoking remains of the Earth! -\nHe spluttered and gurgled as the Vogon tightened his grip.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - just stop panicking.\n- Who said anything about panicking? - snapped Arthur. - This is still just\nthe culture shock. You wait till I\u2019ve settled down into the situation and found\nmy bearings. Then I\u2019ll start panicking.\n- Arthur you\u2019re getting hysterical. Shut up! - Ford tried desperately to\nthink, but was interrupted by the guard shouting again.\n- Resistance is useless!", "afc59f7c-8ce5-4818-b03d-1902d83f680f": "46 CHAPTER 7.\n- And you can shut up as well! - snapped Ford.\n- Resistance is useless!\n- Oh give it a rest, - said Ford. He twisted his head till he was looking\nstraight up into his captor\u2019s face. A thought struck him.\n- Do you really enjoy this sort of thing? - he asked suddenly.\nThe Vogon stopped dead and a look of immense stupidity seeped slowly over\nhis face.\n- Enjoy? - he boomed. - What do you mean?\n- What I mean, - said Ford, - is does it give you a full satisfying life? Stomping\naround, shouting, pushing people out of spaceships...\nThe Vogon stared up at the low steel ceiling and his eyebrows almost rolled\nover each other. His mouth slacked. Finally he said,\n- Well the hours are good...\n- They\u2019d have to be, - agreed Ford.\nArthur twisted his head to look at Ford.\n- Ford, what are you doing? - he asked in an amazed whisper.\n- Oh, just trying to take an interest in the world around me, OK? - he said.\n- So the hours are pretty good then? - he resumed.\nThe Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the\nmurky depths.\n- Yeah, - he said, - but now you come to mention it, most of the actual\nminutes are pretty lousy. Except... - he thought again, which required looking\nat the ceiling - except some of the shouting I quite like. - He \ufb01lled his lungs and\nbellowed, - Resistance is...\n- Sure, yes, - interrupted Ford hurriedly, - you\u2019re good at that, I can tell.\nBut if it\u2019s mostly lousy, - he said, slowly giving the words time to reach their\nmark, - then why do you do it? What is it? The girls? The leather? The\nmachismo? Or do you just \ufb01nd that coming to terms with the mindless tedium\nof it all presents an interesting challenge?\n- Er... - said the guard, - er... er... I dunno. I think I just sort of... do it\nreally. My aunt said that spaceship guard was a good career for a young Vogon\n- you know, the uniform, the lowslung stun ray holster, the mindless tedium...\n- There you are Arthur, - said Ford with the air of someone reaching the\nconclusion of his argument, - you think you\u2019ve got problems.\nArthur rather thought he had. Apart from the unpleasant business with his\nhome planet the Vogon guard had half-throttled him already and he didn\u2019t like\nthe sound of being thrown into space very much.\n- Try and understand his problem, - insisted Ford. - Here he is poor lad, his\nentire life\u2019s work is stamping around, throwing people o\ufb00 spaceships...\n- And shouting, - added the guard.\n- And shouting, sure, - said Ford patting the blubbery arm clamped round\nhis neck in friendly condescension, - ...and he doesn\u2019t even know why he\u2019s doing\nit!\nArthur agreed this was very sad. He did this with a small feeble gesture,\nbecause he was too asphyxicated to speak.\nDeep rumblings of bemusement came from the guard.\n- Well. Now you put it like that I suppose...\n- Good lad! - encouraged Ford.\n- But alright, - went on the rumblings, - so what\u2019s the alternative?", "17751826-39f1-4797-b772-471680e02db5": "47\n- Well, - said Ford, brightly but slowly, - stop doing it of course! Tell them,\n- he went on, - you\u2019re not going to do it anymore. - He felt he had to add\nsomething to that, but for the moment the guard seemed to have his mind\noccupied pondering that much.\n- Eerrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... - said the guard, - erm,\nwell that doesn\u2019t sound that great to me.\nFord suddenly felt the moment slipping away.\n- Now wait a minute, - he said, - that\u2019s just the start you see, there\u2019s more\nto it than that you see...\nBut at that moment the guard renewed his grip and continued his original\npurpose of lugging his prisoners to the airlock. He was obviously quite touched.\n- No, I think if it\u2019s all the same to you, - he said, - I\u2019d better get you both\nshoved into this airlock and then go and get on with some other bits of shouting\nI\u2019ve got to do.\nIt wasn\u2019t all the same to Ford Prefect after all.\n- Come on now... but look! - he said, less slowly, less brightly.\n- Huhhhhgggggggnnnnnnn... - said Arthur without any clear in\ufb02ection.\n- But hang on, - pursued Ford, - there\u2019s music and art and things to tell you\nabout yet! Arrrggghhh!\n- Resistance is useless, - bellowed the guard, and then added, - You see if I\nkeep it up I can eventually get promoted to Senior Shouting O\ufb03cer, and there\naren\u2019t usually many vacancies for non-shouting and non-pushing-people-about\no\ufb03cers, so I think I\u2019d better stick to what I know.\nThey had now reached the airlock - a large circular steel hatchway of massive\nstrength and weight let into the inner skin of the craft. The guard operated a\ncontrol and the hatchway swung smoothly open.\n- But thanks for taking an interest, - said the Vogon guard. - Bye now. He\n\ufb02ung Ford and Arthur through the hatchway into the small chamber within.\nArthur lay panting for breath. Ford scrambled round and \ufb02ung his shoulder\nuselessly against the reclosing hatchway.\n- But listen, - he shouted to the guard, - there\u2019s a whole world you don\u2019t\nknow anything about... here how about this? - Desperately he grabbed for the\nonly bit of culture he knew o\ufb00hand - he hummed the \ufb01rst bar of Beethoven\u2019s\nFifth.\n- Da da da dum! Doesn\u2019t that stir anything in you?\n- No, - said the guard, - not really. But I\u2019ll mention it to my aunt.\nIf he said anything further after that it was lost. The hatchway sealed itself\ntight, and all sound was lost but the faint distant hum of the ship\u2019s engines.\nThey were in a brightly polished cylindrical chamber about six feet in diam-\neter and ten feet long.\n- Potentially bright lad I thought, - he said and slumped against the curved\nwall.\nArthur was still lying in the curve of the \ufb02oor where he had fallen. He didn\u2019t\nlook up. He just lay panting.\n- We\u2019re trapped now aren\u2019t we?\n- Yes, - said Ford, - we\u2019re trapped.\n- Well didn\u2019t you think of anything? I thought you said you were going to\nthink of something. Perhaps you thought of something and didn\u2019t notice.\n- Oh yes, I thought of something, - panted Ford. Arthur looked up expec-\ntantly.", "828105f6-fdc4-4a60-be92-a3af71974398": "48 CHAPTER 7.\n- But unfortunately, - continued Ford, - it rather involved being on the other\nside of this airtight hatchway. - He kicked the hatch they\u2019d just been through.\n- But it was a good idea was it?\n- Oh yes, very neat.\n- What was it?\n- Well I hadn\u2019t worked out the details yet. Not much point now is there?\n- So... er, what happens next?\n- Oh, er, well the hatchway in front of us will open automatically in a few\nmoments and we will shoot out into deep space I expect and asphyxicate. If you\ntake a lungful of air with you you can last for up to thirty seconds of course... -\nsaid Ford. He stuck his hands behind his back, raised his eyebrows and started\nto hum an old Betelgeusian battle hymn. To Arthur\u2019s eyes he suddenly looked\nvery alien.\n- So this is it, - said Arthur, - we\u2019re going to die.\n- Yes, - said Ford, - except... no! Wait a minute! - he suddenly lunged across\nthe chamber at something behind Arthur\u2019s line of vision. - What\u2019s this switch?\n- he cried.\n- What? Where? - cried Arthur twisting round.\n- No, I was only fooling, - said Ford, - we are going to die after all.\nHe slumped against the wall again and carried on the tune from where he\nleft o\ufb00.\n- You know, - said Arthur, - it\u2019s at times like this, when I\u2019m trapped in a\nVogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxication\nin deep space that I really wish I\u2019d listened to what my mother told me when I\nwas young.\n- Why, what did she tell you?\n- I don\u2019t know, I didn\u2019t listen.\n- Oh. - Ford carried on humming.\n- This is terri\ufb01c, - Arthur thought to himself, - Nelson\u2019s Column has gone,\nMcDonald\u2019s have gone, all that\u2019s left is me and the words Mostly Harmless. Any\nsecond now all that will be left is Mostly Harmless. And yesterday the planet\nseemed to be going so well.\nA motor whirred.\nA slight hiss built into a deafening roar of rushing air as the outer hatchway\nopened on to an empty blackness studded with tiny impossibly bright points of\nlight. Ford and Arthur popped into outer space like corks from a toy gun.", "a038a8f2-a0c2-48d3-8f81-b9533262ac3a": "Chapter 8\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been\ncompiled and recompiled many times over many years and under many di\ufb00erent\neditorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and\nresearchers.\nThe introduction begins like this:\n- Space, - it says, - is big. Really big. You just won\u2019t believe how vastly\nhugely mindboggingly big it is. I mean you may think it\u2019s a long way down the\nroad to the chemist, but that\u2019s just peanuts to space. Listen... - and so on.\n(After a while the style settles down a bit and it begins to tell you things\nyou really need to know, like the fact that the fabulously beautiful planet Beth-\nselamin is now so worried about the cumulative erosion by ten billion visit-\ning tourists a year that any net imbalance between the amount you eat and\nthe amount you excrete whilst on the planet is surgically removed from your\nbodyweight when you leave: so every time you go to the lavatory it is vitally\nimportant to get a receipt.)\nTo be fair though, when confronted by the sheer enormity of distances be-\ntween the stars, better minds than the one responsible for the Guide\u2019s intro-\nduction have faltered. Some invite you to consider for a moment a peanut in\nreading and a small walnut in Johannesburg, and other such dizzying concepts.\nThe simple truth is that interstellar distances will not \ufb01t into the human\nimagination.\nEven light, which travels so fast that it takes most races thousands of years\nto realize that it travels at all, takes time to journey between the stars. It takes\neight minutes from the star Sol to the place where the Earth used to be, and\nfour years more to arrive at Sol\u2019s nearest stellar neighbour, Alpha Proxima.\nFor light to reach the other side of the Galaxy, for it to reach Damogran for\ninstance, takes rather longer: \ufb01ve hundred thousand years.\nThe record for hitch hiking this distance is just under \ufb01ve years, but you\ndon\u2019t get to see much on the way.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy says that if you hold a lungful of air\nyou can survive in the total vacuum of space for about thirty seconds. However\nit goes on to say that what with space being the mind boggling size it is the\nchances of getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds are two\nto the power of two hundred and sixty-seven thousand seven hundred and nine\nto one against.\nBy a totally staggering coincidence that is also the telephone number of an\nIslington \ufb02at where Arthur once went to a very good party and met a very nice\n49", "ba3416f0-13da-48d8-8dd0-20a716556398": "50 CHAPTER 8.\ngirl whom he totally failed to get o\ufb00 with - she went o\ufb00 with a gatecrasher.\nThough the planet Earth, the Islington \ufb02at and the telephone have all now\nbeen demolished, it is comforting to re\ufb02ect that they are all in some small way\ncommemorated by the fact that twenty-nine seconds later Ford and Arthur were\nrescued.", "6c8cf0a3-069f-463b-8305-f4f673fb44de": "Chapter 9\nA computer chatted to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close\nitself for no apparent reason.\nThis was because Reason was in fact out to lunch.\nA hole had just appeared in the Galaxy. It was exactly a nothingth of a\nsecond long, a nothingth of an inch wide, and quite a lot of million light years\nfrom end to end.\nAs it closed up lots of paper hats and party balloons fell out of it and drifted\no\ufb00 through the universe. A team of seven threefoot-high market analysts fell\nout of it and died, partly of asphyxication, partly of surprise.\nTwo hundred and thirty-nine thousand lightly fried eggs fell out of it too,\nmaterializing in a large woobly heap on the faminestruck land of Poghril in the\nPansel system.\nThe whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man\nwho died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later.\nThe nothingth of a second for which the hole existed reverberated backwards\nand forwards through time in a most improbable fashion. Somewhere in the\ndeeply remote past it seriously traumatized a small random group of atoms\ndrifting through the empty sterility of space and made them cling together in\nthe most extraordinarily unlikely patterns. These patterns quickly learnt to\ncopy themselves (this was part of what was so extraordinary of the patterns)\nand went on to cause massive trouble on every planet they drifted on to. That\nwas how life began in the Universe.\nFive wild Event Maelstroms swirled in vicious storms of unreason and spewed\nup a pavement.\nOn the pavement lay Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent gulping like half-spent\n\ufb01sh.\n- There you are, - gasped Ford, scrabbling for a \ufb01ngerhold on the pavement\nas it raced through the Third Reach of the Unknown, - I told you I\u2019d think of\nsomething.\n- Oh sure, - said Arthur, - sure.\n- Bright idea of mine, - said Ford, - to \ufb01nd a passing spaceship and get\nrescued by it.\nThe real universe arched sickeningly away beneath them. Various pretend\nones \ufb02itted silently by, like mountain goats. Primal light exploded, splattering\nspace-time as with gobbets of junket. Time blossomed, matter shrank away.\nThe highest prime number coalesced quietly in a corner and hid itself away for\never.\n51", "c118e703-bc9b-41b7-b76f-9eae6f5fbdd9": "52 CHAPTER 9.\n- Oh come o\ufb00 it, - said Arthur, - the chances against it were astronomical.\n- Don\u2019t knock it, it worked, - said Ford.\n- What sort of ship are we in? - asked Arthur as the pit of eternity yawned\nbeneath them.\n- I don\u2019t know, - said Ford, - I haven\u2019t opened my eyes yet.\n- No, nor have I, - said Arthur.\nThe Universe jumped, froze, quivered and splayed out in several unexpected\ndirections.\nArthur and Ford opened their eyes and looked about in considerable surprise.\n- Good god, - said Arthur, - it looks just like the sea front at Southend.\n- Hell, I\u2019m relieved to hear you say that, - said Ford.\n- Why?\n- Because I thought I must be going mad.\n- Perhaps you are. Perhaps you only thought I said it.\nFord thought about this.\n- Well, did you say it or didn\u2019t you? - he asked.\n- I think so, - said Arthur.\n- Well, perhaps we\u2019re both going mad.\n- Yes, - said Arthur, - we\u2019d be mad, all things considered, to think this was\nSouthend.\n- Well, do you think this is Southend?\n- Oh yes.\n- So do I.\n- Therefore we must be mad.\n- Nice day for it.\n- Yes, - said a passing maniac.\n- Who was that? - asked Arthur\n- Who - the man with the \ufb01ve heads and the elderberry bush full of kippers?\n- Yes.\n- I don\u2019t know. Just someone.\n- Ah.\nThey both sat on the pavement and watched with a certain unease as huge\nchildren bounced heavily along the sand and wild horses thundered through the\nsky taking fresh supplies of reinforced railings to the Uncertain Areas.\n- You know, - said Arthur with a slight cough, - if this is Southend, there\u2019s\nsomething very odd about it...\n- You mean the way the sea stays steady and the buildings keep washing up\nand down? - said Ford. - Yes I thought that was odd too. In fact, - he continued\nas with a huge bang Southend split itself into six equal segments which danced\nand span giddily round each other in lewd and licentious formation, - there is\nsomething altogether very strange going on.\nWild yowling noises of pipes and strings seared through the wind, hot dough-\nnuts popped out of the road for ten pence each, horrid \ufb01sh stormed out of the\nsky and Arthur and Ford decided to make a run for it.\nThey plunged through heavy walls of sound, mountains of archaic thought,\nvalleys of mood music, bad shoe sessions and footling bats and suddenly heard\na girl\u2019s voice.\nIt sounded quite a sensible voice, but it just said, - Two to the power of one\nhundred thousand to one against and falling, - and that was all.", "7e35a84e-79e9-4894-a4da-8c73e917e902": "53\nFord skidded down a beam of light and span round trying to \ufb01nd a source\nfor the voice but could see nothing he could seriously believe in.\n- What was that voice? - shouted Arthur.\n- I don\u2019t know, - yelled Ford, - I don\u2019t know. It sounded like a measurement\nof probability.\n- Probability? What do you mean?\n- Probability. You know, like two to one, three to one, \ufb01ve to four against.\nIt said two to the power of one hundred thousand to one against. That\u2019s pretty\nimprobable you know.\nA million-gallon vat of custard upended itself over them without warning.\n- But what does it mean? - cried Arthur.\n- What, the custard?\n- No, the measurement of probability!\n- I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know at all. I think we\u2019re on some kind of spaceship.\n- I can only assume, - said Arthur, - that this is not the \ufb01rst-class compart-\nment.\nBulges appeared in the fabric of space-time. Great ugly bulges.\n- Haaaauuurrgghhh... - said Arthur as he felt his body softening and bending\nin unusual directions. - Southend seems to be melting away... the stars are\nswirling... a dustbowl... my legs are drifting o\ufb00 into the sunset... my left arm\u2019s\ncome o\ufb00 too. - A frightening thought struck him: - Hell, - he said, - how am I\ngoing to operate my digital watch now? - He wound his eyes desperately around\nin Ford\u2019s direction.\n- Ford, - he said, - you\u2019re turning into a penguin. Stop it.\nAgain came the voice.\n- Two to the power of seventy-\ufb01ve thousand to one against and falling.\nFord waddled around his pond in a furious circle.\n- Hey, who are you, - he quacked. - Where are you? What\u2019s going on and is\nthere any way of stopping it?\n- Please relax, - said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with\nonly one wing and two engines one of which is on \ufb01re, - you are perfectly safe.\n- But that\u2019s not the point! - raged Ford. - The point is that I am now a\nperfectly save penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!\n- It\u2019s alright, I\u2019ve got them back now, - said Arthur.\n- Two to the power of \ufb01fty thousand to one against and falling, - said the\nvoice.\n- Admittedly, - said Arthur, - they\u2019re longer than I usually like them, but...\n- Isn\u2019t there anything, - squawked Ford in avian fury, - you feel you ought\nto be telling us?\nThe voice cleared its throat. A giant petit four lolloped o\ufb00 into the distance.\n- Welcome, - the voice said, - to the Starship Heart of Gold.\nThe voice continued.\n- Please do not be alarmed, - it said, - by anything you see or hear around\nyou. You are bound to feel some initial ill e\ufb00ects as you have been rescued\nfrom certain death at an improbability level of two to the power of two hundred\nand seventy-six thousand to one against - possibly much higher. We are now\ncruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-\ufb01ve thousand to one against\nand falling, and we will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure what\nis normal anyway. Thank you. Two to the power of twenty thousand to one\nagainst and falling.", "5daab3a9-4027-436f-ab96-19dc68c7affd": "54 CHAPTER 9.\nThe voice cut out.\nFord and Arthur were in a small luminous pink cubicle.\nFord was wildly excited.\n- Arthur! - he said, - this is fantastic! We\u2019ve been picked up by a ship powered\nby the In\ufb01nite Improbability Drive! This is incredible! I heard rumors about\nit before! They were all o\ufb03cially denied, but they must have done it! They\u2019ve\nbuilt the Improbability Drive! Arthur, this is... Arthur? What\u2019s happening?\nArthur had jammed himself against the door to the cubicle, trying to hold it\nclosed, but it was ill \ufb01tting. Tiny furry little hands were squeezing themselves\nthrough the cracks, their \ufb01ngers were inkstained; tiny voices chattered insanely.\nArthur looked up.\n- Ford! - he said, - there\u2019s an in\ufb01nite number of monkeys outside who want\nto talk to us about this script for Hamlet they\u2019ve worked out.", "34ca4c91-f3ef-47c8-8266-10b8ba4c8e72": "Chapter 10\nThe In\ufb01nite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast\ninterstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious\nmucking about in hyperspace.\nIt was discovered by a lucky chance, and then developed into a governable\nform of propulsion by the Galactic Government\u2019s research team on Damogran.\nThis, brie\ufb02y, is the story of its discovery.\nThe principle of generating small amounts of \ufb01nite improbability by simply\nhooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 SubMeson Brain to an atomic\nvector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot\ncup of tea) were of course well understood - and such generators were often\nused to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess\u2019s\nundergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the\nTheory of Indeterminacy.\nMany respectable physicists said that they weren\u2019t going to stand for this -\npartly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn\u2019t\nget invited to those sort of parties.\nAnother thing they couldn\u2019t stand was the perpetual failure they encoun-\ntered in trying to construct a machine which could generate the in\ufb01nite im-\nprobability \ufb01eld needed to \ufb02ip a spaceship across the mind-paralysing distances\nbetween the furthest stars, and in the end they grumpily announced that such\na machine was virtually impossible.\nThen, one day, a student who had been left to sweep up the lab after a\nparticularly unsuccessful party found himself reasoning this way:\nIf, he thought to himself, such a machine is a virtual impossibility, then it\nmust logically be a \ufb01nite improbability. So all I have to do in order to make\none is to work out exactly how improbable it is, feed that \ufb01gure into the \ufb01nite\nimprobability generator, give it a fresh cup of really hot tea... and turn it on!\nHe did this, and was rather startled to discover that he had managed to\ncreate the long sought after golden In\ufb01nite Improbability generator out of thin\nair.\nIt startled him even more when just after he was awarded the Galactic\nInstitute\u2019s Prize for Extreme Cleverness he got lynched by a rampaging mob\nof respectable physicists who had \ufb01nally realized that the one thing they really\ncouldn\u2019t stand was a smartass.\n55", "07ced60a-6fd1-4939-8331-108055797522": "56 CHAPTER 10.", "774f1197-0a60-4d9f-89f5-4c3536a96370": "Chapter 11\nThe Improbability-proof control cabin of the Heart of Gold looked like a per-\nfectly conventional spaceship except that it was perfectly clean because it was\nso new. Some of the control seats hadn\u2019t had the plastic wrapping taken o\ufb00\nyet. The cabin was mostly white, oblong, and about the size of a smallish\nrestaurant. In fact it wasn\u2019t perfectly oblong: the two long walls were raked\nround in a slight parallel curve, and all the angles and corners were contoured\nin excitingly chunky shapes. The truth of the matter is that it would have been\na great deal simpler and more practical to build the cabin as an ordinary three-\ndimensional oblong rom, but then the designers would have got miserable. As it\nwas the cabin looked excitingly purposeful, with large video screens ranged over\nthe control and guidance system panels on the concave wall, and long banks\nof computers set into the convex wall. In one corner a robot sat humped, its\ngleaming brushed steel head hanging loosely between its gleaming brushed steel\nknees. It too was fairly new, but though it was beautifully constructed and\npolished it somehow looked as if the various parts of its more or less humanoid\nbody didn\u2019t quite \ufb01t properly. In fact they \ufb01tted perfectly well, but something\nin its bearing suggested that they might have \ufb01tted better.\nZaphod Beeblebrox paced nervously up and down the cabin, brushing his\nhands over pieces of gleaming equipment and giggling with excitement.\nTrillian sat hunched over a clump of instruments reading o\ufb00 \ufb01gures. Her\nvoice was carried round the Tannoy system of the whole ship.\n- Five to one against and falling... - she said, - four to one against and\nfalling... three to one... two... one... probability factor of one to one... we have\nnormality, I repeat we have normality. - She turned her microphone o\ufb00 - then\nturned it back on, with a slight smile and continued: - Anything you still can\u2019t\ncope with is therefore your own problem. Please relax. You will be sent for\nsoon.\nZaphod burst out in annoyance:\n- Who are they Trillian?\nTrillian span her seat round to face him and shrugged.\n- Just a couple of guys we seem to have picked up in open space, - she said.\n- Section ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.\n- Yeah, well that\u2019s a very sweet thought Trillian, - complained Zaphod, - but\ndo you really think it\u2019s wise under the circumstances? I mean, here we are on\nthe run and everything, we must have the police of half the Galaxy after us by\nnow, and we stop to pick up hitch hikers. OK, so ten out of ten for style, but\nminus several million for good thinking, yeah?\n57", "162924a7-0d0d-484f-add4-c4f4daacf64f": "58 CHAPTER 11.\nHe tapped irritably at a control panel. Trillian quietly moved his hand before\nhe tapped anything important. Whatever Zaphod\u2019s qualities of mind might\ninclude - dash, bravado, conceit - he was mechanically inept and could easily\nblow the ship up with an extravagant gesture. Trillian had come to suspect that\nthe main reason why he had had such a wild and successful life that he never\nreally understood the signi\ufb01cance of anything he did.\n- Zaphod, - she said patiently, - they were \ufb02oating unprotected in open\nspace... you wouldn\u2019t want them to have died would you?\n- Well, you know... no. Not as such, but...\n- Not as such? Not die as such? But? - Trillian cocked her head on one side.\n- Well, maybe someone else might have picked them up later.\n- A second later and they would have been dead.\n- Yeah, so if you\u2019d taken the trouble to think about the problem a bit longer\nit would have gone away.\n- You\u2019d been happy to let them die?\n- Well, you know, not happy as such, but...\n- Anyway, - said Trillian, turning back to the controls, - I didn\u2019t pick them\nup.\n- What do you mean? Who picked them up then?\n- The ship did.\n- Huh?\n- The ship did. All by itself.\n- Huh?\n- Whilst we were in Improbability Drive.\n- But that\u2019s incredible.\n- No Zaphod. Just very very improbable.\n- Er, yeah.\n- Look Zaphod, - she said, patting his arm, - don\u2019t worry about the aliens.\nThey\u2019re just a couple of guys I expect. I\u2019ll send the robot down to get them\nand bring them up here. Hey Marvin!\nIn the corner, the robot\u2019s head swung up sharply, but then wobbled about\nimperceptibly. It pulled itself up to its feet as if it was about \ufb01ve pounds heavier\nthat it actually was, and made what an outside observer would have thought\nwas a heroic e\ufb00ort to cross the room. It stopped in front of Trillian and seemed\nto stare through her left shoulder.\n- I think you ought to know I\u2019m feeling very depressed, - it said. Its voice\nwas low and hopeless.\n- Oh God, - muttered Zaphod and slumped into a seat.\n- Well, - said Trillian in a bright compassionate tone, - here\u2019s something to\noccupy you and keep your mind o\ufb00 things.\n- It won\u2019t work, - droned Marvin, - I have an exceptionally large mind.\n- Marvin! - warned Trillian.\n- Alright, - said Marvin, - what do you want me to do?\n- Go down to number two entry bay and bring the two aliens up here under\nsurveillance.\nWith a microsecond pause, and a \ufb01nely calculated micromodulation of pitch\nand timbre - nothing you could actually take o\ufb00ence at - Marvin managed to\nconvey his utter contempt and horror of all things human.\n- Just that? - he said.\n- Yes, - said Trillian \ufb01rmly.", "f3967463-c71b-403f-8b8b-b5ae96081f56": "59\n- I won\u2019t enjoy it, - said Marvin.\nZaphod leaped out of his seat.\n- She\u2019s not asking you to enjoy it, - he shouted, - just do it will you?\n- Alright, - said Marvin like the tolling of a great cracked bell, - I\u2019ll do it.\n- Good... - snapped Zaphod, - great... thank you...\nMarvin turned and lifted his \ufb02at-topped triangular red eyes up towards him.\n- I\u2019m not getting you down at all am I? - he said pathetically.\n- No no Marvin, - lilted Trillian, - that\u2019s just \ufb01ne, really...\n- I wouldn\u2019t like to think that I was getting you down.\n- No, don\u2019t worry about that, - the lilt continued, - you just act as comes\nnaturally and everything will be just \ufb01ne.\n- You\u2019re sure you don\u2019t mind? - probed Marvin.\n- No no Marvin, - lilted Trillian, - that\u2019s just \ufb01ne, really... just part of life.\n- Marvin \ufb02ashed him an electronic look.\n- Life, - said Marvin, - don\u2019t talk to me about life.\nHe turned hopelessly on his heel and lugged himself out of the cabin. With\na satis\ufb01ed hum and a click the door closed behind him\n- I don\u2019t think I can stand that robot much longer Zaphod, - growled Trillian.\nThe Encyclopaedia Galactica de\ufb01nes a robot as a mechanical apparatus de-\nsigned to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics\nCorporation de\ufb01nes a robot as \u201dYour Plastic Pal Who\u2019s Fun To Be With\u201d.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy de\ufb01nes the marketing division of the\nSirius Cybernetics Corporation as \u201da bunch of mindless jerks who\u2019ll be the \ufb01rst\nagainst the wall when the revolution comes\u201d, with a footnote to the e\ufb00ect that\nthe editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking over\nthe post of robotics correspondent.\nCuriously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that had the\ngood fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future\nde\ufb01ned the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as \u201da bunch\nof mindless jerks who were the \ufb01rst against the wall when the revolution came\u201d.\nThe pink cubicle had winked out of existence, the monkeys had sunk away\nto a better dimension. Ford and Arthur found themselves in the embarkation\narea of the ship. It was rather smart.\n- I think the ship\u2019s brand new, - said Ford.\n- How can you tell? - asked Arthur. - Have you got some exotic device for\nmeasuring the age of metal?\n- No, I just found this sales brochure lying on the \ufb02oor. It\u2019s a lot of \u2018the\nUniverse can be yours\u2019 stu\ufb00. Ah! Look, I was right.\nFord jabbed at one of the pages and showed it to Arthur.\n- It says: Sensational new breakthrough in Improbability Physics. As soon\nas the ship\u2019s drive reaches In\ufb01nite Improbability it passes through every point\nin the Universe. Be the envy of other major governments. Wow, this is big\nleague stu\ufb00.\nFord hunted excitedly through the technical specs of the ship, occasionally\ngasping with astonishment at what he read - clearly Galactic astrotechnology\nhad moved ahead during the years of his exile.\nArthur listened for a short while, but being unable to understand the vast\nmajority of what Ford was saying he began to let his mind wander, trailing his\n\ufb01ngers along the edge of an incomprehensible computer bank, he reached out", "8568a9f1-1ea4-4900-ad18-54cd70e65a9a": "60 CHAPTER 11.\nand pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel. The panel lit up\nwith the words Please do not press this button again. He shook himself.\n- Listen, - said Ford, who was still engrossed in the sales brochure, - they\nmake a big thing of the ship\u2019s cybernetics. A new generation of Sirius Cyber-\nnetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.\n- GPP feature? - said Arthur. - What\u2019s that?\n- Oh, it says Genuine People Personalities.\n- Oh, - said Arthur, - sounds ghastly.\nA voice behind them said,\n- It is. - The voice was low and hopeless and accompanied by a slight clanking\nsound. They span round and saw an abject steel man standing hunched in the\ndoorway.\n- What? - they said.\n- Ghastly, - continued Marvin, - it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don\u2019t\neven talk about it. Look at this door, - he said, stepping through it. The\nirony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales\nbrochure. - All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition.\nIt is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with\nthe knowledge of a job well done.\nAs the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have\na satis\ufb01ed sigh-like quality to it.\n- Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah! - it said.\nMarvin regarded it with cold loathing whilst his logic circuits chattered with\ndisgust and tinkered with the concept of directing physical violence against it\nFurther circuits cut in saying, Why bother? What\u2019s the point? Nothing is\nworth getting involved in. Further circuits amused themselves by analysing the\nmolecular components of the door, and of the humanoids\u2019 brain cells. For a\nquick encore they measured the level of hydrogen emissions in the surrounding\ncubic parsec of space and then shut down again in boredom. A spasm of despair\nshook the robot\u2019s body as he turned.\n- Come on, - he droned, - I\u2019ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge.\nHere I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the\nbridge. Call that job satisfaction? \u2019Cos I don\u2019t.\nHe turned and walked back to the hated door.\n- Er, excuse me, - said Ford following after him, - which government owns\nthis ship?\nMarvin ignored him.\n- You watch this door, - he muttered, - it\u2019s about to open again. I can tell\nby the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates.\nWith an ingratiating little whine the door slit open again and Marvin stomped\nthrough.\n- Come on, - he said.\nThe others followed quickly and the door slit back into place with pleased\nlittle clicks and whirrs.\n- Thank you the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation,\n- said Marvin and trudged desolately up the gleaming curved corridor that\nstretched out before them. - Let\u2019s build robots with Genuine People Personali-\nties, - they said. So they tried it out with me. I\u2019m a personality prototype. You\ncan tell can\u2019t you?\nFord and Arthur muttered embarrassed little disclaimers.", "de562057-96cb-47e3-9265-851884c07aab": "61\n- I hate that door, - continued Marvin. - I\u2019m not getting you down at all am\nI?\n- Which government... - started Ford again.\n- No government owns it, - snapped the robot, - it\u2019s been stolen.\n- Stolen?\n- Stolen? - mimicked Marvin.\n- Who by? - asked Ford.\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox.\nSomething extraordinary happened to Ford\u2019s face. At least \ufb01ve entirely\nseparate and distinct expressions of shock and amazement piled up on it in a\njumbled mess. His left leg, which was in mid stride, seemed to have di\ufb03culty\nin \ufb01nding the \ufb02oor again. He stared at the robot and tried to entangle some\ndartoid muscles.\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox...? - he said weakly.\n- Sorry, did I say something wrong? - said Marvin, dragging himself on\nregardless. - Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don\u2019t\nknow why I bother to say it, oh God I\u2019m so depressed. Here\u2019s another of those\nself-satis\ufb01ed door. Life! Don\u2019t talk to me about life.\n- No one ever mentioned it, - muttered Arthur irritably. - Ford, are you\nalright?\nFord stared at him.\n- Did that robot say Zaphod Beeblebrox? - he said.", "ce8ac81c-0cc2-4679-b3db-f094908d1ef7": "62 CHAPTER 11.", "5beeaf65-b604-476c-a779-a554f7f80efc": "Chapter 12\nA loud clatter of gunk music \ufb02ooded through the Heart of Gold cabin as Za-\nphod searched the sub-etha radio wavebands for news of himself. The machine\nwas rather di\ufb03cult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means\nof pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more so-\nphisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive - you merely had to brush\nthe panels with your \ufb01ngers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in\nthe general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular\nexpenditure of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you\nwanted to keep listening to the same programme.\nZaphod waved a hand and the channel switched again. More gunk music,\nbut this time it was a background to a news announcement. The news was\nalways heavily edited to \ufb01t the rhythms of the music.\n- ...and news brought to you here on the sub-etha wave band, broadcasting\naround the galaxy around the clock, - squawked a voice, - and we\u2019ll be saying a\nbig hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere... and to everyone else out there,\nthe secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. And of course, the big news story\ntonight is the sensational theft of the new Improbability Drive prototype ship\nby none other than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox. And the question\neveryone\u2019s asking is... has the big Z \ufb01nally \ufb02ipped? Beeblebrox, the man who\ninvented the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, ex-con\ufb01dence trickster, once described\nby Eccentrica Gallumbits as the Best Bang since the Big One, and recently voted\nthe Wort Dressed Sentinent Being in the Known Universe for the seventh time...\nhas he got an answer this time? We asked his private brain care specialist Gag\nHalfrunt... - The music swirled and dived for a moment. Another voice broke\nin, presumably Halfrunt. He said: - Vell, Zaphod\u2019s jist zis guy you know? - but\ngot no further because an electric pencil \ufb02ew across the cabin and through the\nradio\u2019s on/o\ufb00 sensitive airspace. Zaphod turned and glared at Trillian - she had\nthrown the pencil.\n- Hey, - he said, what do you do that for?\nTrillian was tapping her \ufb01ngers on a screenful of \ufb01gures.\n- I\u2019ve just thought of something, - she said.\n- Yeah? Worth interrupting a news bulletin about me for?\n- You hear enough about yourself as it is.\n- I\u2019m very insecure. We know that.\n- Can we drop your ego for a moment? This is important.\n- If there\u2019s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught\nand shot now. - Zaphod glared at her again, then laughed.\n63", "f68e7ed4-30d0-4bfb-9834-76969b8a1f44": "64 CHAPTER 12.\n- Listen, - she said, - we picked up those couple of guys...\n- What couple of guys?\n- The couple of guys we picked up.\n- Oh, yeah, - said Zaphod, - those couple of guys.\n- We picked them up in sector ZZ 9 Plural Z Alpha.\n- Yeah? - said Zaphod and blinked.\nTrillian said quietly, - Does that mean anything to you?\n- Mmmmm, - said Zaphod, - ZZ 9 Plural Z Alpha. ZZ 9 Plural Z Alpha?\n- Well? - said Trillian.\n- Er... what does the Z mean? - said Zaphod.\n- Which one?\n- Any one.\nOne of the major di\ufb03culties Trillian experienced in her relationship with\nZaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just\nto get people o\ufb00 their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn\u2019t be\nbothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be\noutrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn\u2019t understand what\nwas going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being\namazingly clever and quite clearly was so - but not all the time, which obviously\nworried him, hence the act. He pro\ufb00ered people to be puzzled rather than\ncontemptuous. This above all appeared to Trillian to be genuinely stupid, but\nshe could no longer be bothered to argue about it.\nShe sighed and punched up a star map on the visiscreen so she could make\nit simple for him, whatever his reasons for wanting it to be that way.\n- There, - she pointed, - right there.\n- Hey... Yeah! - said Zaphod.\n- Well? - she said.\n- Well what?\nParts of the inside of her head screamed at other parts of the inside of her\nhead. She said, very calmly,\n- It\u2019s the same sector you originally picked me up in.\nHe looked at her and then looked back at the screen.\n- Hey, yeah, - he said, - now that is wild. We should have zapped straight\ninto the middle of the Horsehead Nebula. How did we come to be there? I mean\nthat\u2019s nowhere.\nShe ignored this.\n- Improbability Drive, - she said patiently. - You explained it to me yourself.\nWe pass through every point in the Universe, you know that.\n- Yeah, but that\u2019s one wild coincidence isn\u2019t it?\n- Yes.\n- Picking someone up at that point? Out of the whole of the Universe to\nchoose from? That\u2019s just too... I want to work this out. Computer!\nThe Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Shipboard Computer which controlled\nand permeated every particle of the ship switched into communication mode.\n- Hi there! - it said brightly and simultaneously spewed out a tiny ribbon of\nticker tape just for the record. The ticker tape said, Hi there!\n- Oh God, - said Zaphod. He hadn\u2019t worked with this computer for long but\nhad already learned to loathe it.\nThe computer continued, brash and cheery as if it was selling detergent.", "fa36d3e6-1761-4b45-8ee7-3e3a17fb4385": "65\n- I want you to know that whatever your problem, I am here to help you\nsolve it.\n- Yeah yeah, - said Zaphod. - Look, I think I\u2019ll just use a piece of paper.\n- Sure thing, - said the computer, spilling out its message into a waste bin\nat the same time, - I understand. If you ever want...\n- Shut up! - said Zaphod, and snatching up a pencil sat down next to Trillian\nat the console.\n- OK, OK... - said the computer in a hurt tone of voice and closed down its\nspeech channel again.\nZaphod and Trillian pored over the \ufb01gures that the Improbability \ufb02ight path\nscanner \ufb02ashed silently up in front of them.\n- Can we work out, - said Zaphod, - from their point of view what the\nImprobability of their rescue was?\n- Yes, that\u2019s a constant - , said Trillian, - two to the power of two hundred\nand seventy-six thousand seven hundred and nine to one against.\n- That\u2019s high. They\u2019re two lucky lucky guys.\n- Yes.\n- But relative to what we were doing when the ship picked them up...\nTrillian punched up the \ufb01gures. They showed tow-to-the powerof-In\ufb01nity-\nminus-one (an irrational number that only has a conventional meaning in Im-\nprobability physics).\n- ...it\u2019s pretty low, - continued Zaphod with a slight whistle.\n- Yes, - agreed Trillian, and looked at him quizzically.\n- That\u2019s one big whack of Improbability to be accounted for. Something\npretty improbable has got to show up on the balance sheet if it\u2019s all going to\nadd up into a pretty sum.\nZaphod scribbled a few sums, crossed them out and threw the pencil away.\n- Bat\u2019s dots, I can\u2019t work it out.\n- Well?\nZaphod knocked his two heads together in irritation and gritted his teeth.\n- OK, - he said. - Computer!\nThe voice circuits sprang to life again.\n- Why hello there! - they said (ticker tape, ticker tape). - All I want to do\nis make your day nicer and nicer and nicer...\n- Yeah well shut up and work something out for me.\n- Sure thing, - chattered the computer, - you want a probability forecast\nbased on...\n- Improbability data, yeah.\n- OK, - the computer continued. - Here\u2019s an interesting little notion. Did\nyou realize that most people\u2019s lives are governed by telephone numbers?\nA pained look crawled across one of Zaphod\u2019s faces and on to the other one.\n- Have you \ufb02ipped? - he said.\n- No, but you will when I tell you that...\nTrillian gasped. She scrabbled at the buttons on the Improbability \ufb02ight\npath screen.\n- Telephone number? - she said. - Did that thing say telephone number?\nNumbers \ufb02ashed up on the screen.\nThe computer had paused politely, but now it continued.\n- What I was about to say was that...\n- Don\u2019t bother please, - said Trillian.", "3594cec0-6c9e-476d-be16-e7d8765a1cd2": "66 CHAPTER 12.\n- Look, what is this? - said Zaphod.\n- I don\u2019t know, - said Trillian, - but those aliens - they\u2019re on the way up\nto the bridge with that wretched robot. Can we pick them up on any monitor\ncameras?", "c7095b85-d51d-4bbd-88f7-bac914db1eb1": "Chapter 13\nMarvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning.\n- ...and then of course I\u2019ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my\nleft hand side...\n- No? - said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. - Really?\n- Oh yes, - said Marvin, - I mean I\u2019ve asked for them to be replaced but no\none ever listens.\n- I can imagine.\nVague whistling and humming noises were coming from Ford.\n- Well well well, - he kept saying to himself, - Zaphod Beeblebrox...\nSuddenly Marvin stopped, and held up a hand.\n- You know what\u2019s happened now of course?\n- No, what? - said Arthur, who didn\u2019t what to know.\n- We\u2019ve arrived at another of those doors.\nThere was a sliding door let into the side of the corridor. Marvin eyed it\nsuspiciously.\n- Well? - said Ford impatiently. - Do we go through?\n- Do we go through? - mimicked Marvin. - Yes. This is the entrance to the\nbridge. I was told to take you to the bridge. Probably the highest demand that\nwill be made on my intellectual capacities today I shouldn\u2019t wonder.\nSlowly, with great loathing, he stepped towards the door, like a hunter stalk-\ning his prey. Suddenly it slid open.\n- Thank you, - it said, - for making a simple door very happy.\nDeep in Marvin\u2019s thorax gears ground.\n- Funny, - he intoned funerally, - how just when you think life can\u2019t possibly\nget any worse it suddenly does.\nHe heaved himself through the door and left Ford and Arthur staring at\neach other and shrugging their shoulders. From inside they heard Marvin\u2019s\nvoice again.\n- I suppose you want to see the aliens now, - he said. - Do you want me to\nsit in a corner and rust, or just fall apart where I\u2019m standing?\n- Yeah, just show them in would you Marvin? - came another voice.\nArthur looked at Ford and was astonished to see him laughing.\n- What\u2019s...?\n- Shhh, - said Ford, - come in.\nHe stepped through into the bridge.\nArthur followed him in nervously and was astonished to see a man lolling\nback in a chair with his feet on a control console picking the teeth in his right-\n67", "206650d2-5a7d-4309-951d-280e7f7d6af0": "68 CHAPTER 13.\nhand head with his left hand. The right-hand head seemed to be thoroughly\npreoccupied with this task, but the left-hand one was grinning a broad, relaxed,\nnonchalant grin. The number of things that Arthur couldn\u2019t believe he was\nseeing was fairly large. His jaw \ufb02apped about at a loose end for a while.\nThe peculiar man waved a lazy wave at Ford and with an appalling a\ufb00ecta-\ntion of nonchalance said,\n- Ford, hi, how are you? Glad you could drop in.\nFord was not going to be outcooled.\n- Zaphod, - he drawled, - great to see you, you\u2019re looking well, the extra arm\nsuits you. Nice ship you\u2019ve stolen.\nArthur goggled at him.\n- You mean you know this guy? - he said, waving a wild \ufb01nger at Zaphod.\n- Know him! - exclaimed Ford, - he\u2019s... - he paused, and decided to do the\nintroductions the other way round.\n- Oh, Zaphod, this is a friend of mine, Arthur Dent, - he said, - I saved him\nwhen his planet blew up.\n- Oh sure, - said Zaphod, - hi Arthur, glad you could make it. - His right-\nhand head looked round casually, said \u201dhi\u201d and went back to having his teeth\npicked.\nFord carried on.\n- And Arthur, - he said, - this is my semi-cousin Zaphod Beeb...\n- We\u2019ve met, - said Arthur sharply.\nWhen you\u2019re cruising down the road in the fast lane and you lazily sail past\na few hard driving cars and are feeling pretty pleased with yourself and then\naccidentally change down from fourth to \ufb01rst instead of third thus making your\nengine leap out of your bonnet in a rather ugly mess, it tends to throw you o\ufb00\nyour stride in much the same way that this remark threw Ford Prefect o\ufb00 his.\n- Err... what?\n- I said we\u2019ve met.\nZaphod gave an awkward start of surprise and jabbed a gum sharply.\n- Hey... er, have we? Hey... er...\nFord rounded on Arthur with an angry \ufb02ash in his eyes. Now he felt he\nwas back on home ground he suddenly began to resent having lumbered himself\nwith this ignorant primitive who knew as much about the a\ufb00airs of the Galaxy\nas an Ilford-based gnat knew about life in Peking.\n- What do you mean you\u2019ve met? - he demanded. - This is Zaphod Beeble-\nbrox from Betelgeuse Five you know, not bloody Martin Smith from Croydon.\n- I don\u2019t care, - said Arthur coldly. We\u2019ve met, haven\u2019t we Zaphod Beeble-\nbrox - or should I say... Phil?\n- What! - shouted Ford.\n- You\u2019ll have to remind me, - said Zaphod. - I\u2019ve a terrible memory for\nspecies.\n- It was at a party, - pursued Arthur.\n- Yeah, well I doubt that, - said Zaphod.\n- Cool it will you Arthur! - demanded Ford.\nArthur would not be deterred.\n- A party six months ago. On Earth... England...\nZaphod shook his head with a tight-lipped smile.\n- London, - insisted Arthur, - Islington.\n- Oh, - said Zaphod with a guilty start, - that party.", "aea9f7d4-43e8-434f-ba62-14804510587f": "69\nThis wasn\u2019t fair on Ford at all. He looked backwards and forwards between\nArthur and Zaphod.\n- What? - he said to Zaphod.\n- You don\u2019t mean to say you\u2019ve been on that miserable planet as well do\nyou?\n- No, of course not, - said Zaphod breezily. - Well, I may have just dropped\nin brie\ufb02y, you know, on my way somewhere...\n- But I was stuck there for \ufb01fteen years!\n- Well I didn\u2019t know that did I?\n- But what were you doing there?\n- Looking about, you know.\n- He gatecrashed a party, - persisted Arthur, trembling with anger, - a fancy\ndress party...\n- It would have to be, wouldn\u2019t it? - said Ford.\n- At this party, - persisted Arthur, - was a girl... oh well, look it doesn\u2019t\nmatter now. The whole place has gone up in smoke anyway...\n- I wish you\u2019d stop sulking about that bloody planet, - said Ford. - Who\nwas the lady?\n- Oh just somebody. Well alright, I wasn\u2019t doing very well with her. I\u2019d\nbeen trying all evening. Hell, she was something though. Beautiful, charming,\ndevastatingly intelligent, at last I\u2019d got her to myself for a bit and was plying\nher with a bit of talk when this friend of yours barges up and says Hey doll, is\nthis guy boring you? Why don\u2019t you talk to me instead? I\u2019m from a di\ufb00erent\nplanet. - I never saw her again.\n- Zaphod? - exclaimed Ford.\n- Yes, - said Arthur, glaring at him and trying not to feel foolish. - He only\nhad the two arms and the one head and he called himself Phil, but...\n- But you must admit he did turn out to be from another planet, - said\nTrillian wandering into sight at the other end of the bridge. She gave Arthur\na pleasant smile which settled on him like a ton of bricks and then turned her\nattention to the ship\u2019s controls again.\nThere was silence for a few seconds, and then out of the scrambled mess of\nArthur\u2019s brain crawled some words.\n- Tricia McMillian? - he said. - What are you doing here?\n- Same as you, - she said, - I hitched a lift. After all with a degree in Maths\nand another in astrophysics what else was there to do? It was either that or the\ndole queue again on Monday.\n- In\ufb01nity minus one, - chattered the computer, - Improbability sum now\ncomplete.\nZaphod looked about him, at Ford, at Arthur, and then at Trillian.\n- Trillian, - he said, - is this sort of thing going to happen every time we use\nthe Improbability drive?\n- Very probably, I\u2019m afraid, - she said.", "7828e632-9ca3-4042-8ee1-0593ee5f019a": "70 CHAPTER 13.", "abb9dabe-3d2f-41a6-9924-7200c4f30b45": "Chapter 14\nThe Heart of Gold \ufb02ed on silently through the night of space, now on conven-\ntional photon drive. Its crew of four were ill at ease knowing that they had\nbeen brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but\nby some curious principle of physics - as if relationships between people were\nsusceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and\nmolecules.\nAs the ship\u2019s arti\ufb01cial night closed in they were each grateful to retire to\nseparate cabins and try to rationalize their thoughts.\nTrillian couldn\u2019t sleep. She sat on a couch and stared at a small cage which\ncontained her last and only links with Earth - two white mice that she had\ninsisted Zaphod let her bring. She had expected not to see the planet again,\nbut she was disturbed by her negative reaction to the planet\u2019s destruction. It\nseemed remote and unreal and she could \ufb01nd no thoughts to think about it. She\nwatched the mice scurrying round the cage and running furiously in their little\nplastic treadwheels till they occupied her whole attention. Suddenly she shook\nherself and went back to the bridge to watch over the tiny \ufb02ashing lights and\n\ufb01gures that charted the ship\u2019s progress through the void. She wished she knew\nwhat it was she was trying not to think about.\nZaphod couldn\u2019t sleep. He also wished he knew what it was that he wouldn\u2019t\nlet himself think about. For as long as he could remember he\u2019d su\ufb00ered from\na vague nagging feeling of being not all there. Most of the time he was able to\nput this thought aside and not worry about it, but it had been re-awakened by\nthe sudden inexplicable arrival of Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. Somehow it\nseemed to conform to a pattern that he couldn\u2019t see.\nFord couldn\u2019t sleep. He was too excited about being back on the road again.\nFifteen years of virtual imprisonment were over, just as he was \ufb01nally beginning\nto give up hope. Knocking about with Zaphod for a bit promised to be a lot\nof fun, though there seemed to be something faintly odd about his semi-cousin\nthat he couldn\u2019t put his \ufb01nger on. The fact that he had become President of\nthe Galaxy was frankly astonishing, as was the manner of his leaving the post.\nWas there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking Zaphod,\nhe never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned\nunfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture\nof extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often di\ufb03cult to tell\nwhich was which.\nArthur slept: he was terribly tired.\nThere was a tap at Zaphod\u2019s door. It slid open.\n71", "b5337634-3a29-42b6-a4e1-c9383396fad2": "72 CHAPTER 14.\n- Zaphod...?\n- Yeah?\n- I think we just found what you came to look for.\n- Hey, yeah?\nFord gave up the attempt to sleep. In the corner of his cabin was a small\ncomputer screen and keyboard. He sat at it for a while and tried to compose a\nnew entry for the Guide on the subject of Vogons but couldn\u2019t think of anything\nvitriolic enough so he gave that up too, wrapped a robe round himself and went\nfor a walk to the bridge.\nAs he entered he was surprised to see two \ufb01gures hunched excitedly over the\ninstruments.\n- See? The ship\u2019s about to move into orbit, - Trillian was saying. - There\u2019s\na planet out there. It\u2019s at the exact coordinates you predicted.\nZaphod heard a noise and looked up.\n- Ford! - he hissed. - Hey, come and take a look at this.\nFord went and had a look at it. It was a series of \ufb01gures \ufb02ashing over a\nscreen.\n- You recognize those Galactic coordinates? - said Zaphod.\n- No.\n- I\u2019ll give you a clue. Computer!\n- Hi gang! - enthused the computer. - This is getting real sociable isn\u2019t it?\n- Shut up, - said Zaphod, - and show up the screens.\nLight on the bridge sank. Pinpoints of light played across the consoles and\nre\ufb02ected in four pairs of eyes that stared up at the external monitor screens.\nThere was absolutely nothing on them.\n- Recognize that? - whispered Zaphod.\nFord frowned.\n- Er, no, - he said.\n- What do you see?\n- Nothing.\n- Recognize it?\n- What are you talking about?\n- We\u2019re in the Horsehead Nebula. One whole vast dark cloud.\n- And I was meant to recognize that from a blank screen?\n- Inside a dark nebula is the only place in the Galaxy you\u2019d see a dark screen.\n- Very good.\nZaphod laughed. He was clearly very excited about something, almost child-\nishly so.\n- Hey, this is really terri\ufb01c, this is just far too much!\n- What\u2019s so great about being stuck in a dust cloud? - said Ford.\n- What would you reckon to \ufb01nd here? - urged Zaphod.\n- Nothing.\n- No stars? No planets?\n- No.\n- Computer! - shouted Zaphod, - rotate angle of vision through oneeighty\ndegrees and don\u2019t talk about it!\nFor a moment it seemed that nothing was happening, then a brightness\nglowed at the edge of the huge screen. A red star the size of a small plate crept\nacross it followed quickly by another one - a binary system. Then a vast crescent", "e1c061ee-2293-4e4f-b1e9-8a1a41c61b55": "73\nsliced into the corner of the picture - a red glare shading away into the deep\nblack, the night side of the planet.\n- I\u2019ve found it! - cried Zaphod, thumping the console. - I\u2019ve found it!\nFord stared at it in astonishment.\n- What is it? - he said.\n- That... - said Zaphod, - is the most improbable planet that ever existed.", "da22a0e1-5fd4-4b87-88d1-103d666e48a1": "74 CHAPTER 14.", "f6ad49b6-bb1b-48fb-9ee0-d9c52772e221": "Chapter 15\n(Excerpt from The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, Page 634784, Section 5a,\nEntry: Magrathea)\nFar back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the\nformer Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich and largely tax free.\nMighty starships plied their way between exotic suns, seeking adventure and\nreward amongst the furthest reaches of Galactic space. In those days spirits\nwere brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women,\nand small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures\nfrom Alpha Centauri. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty\ndeeds, to boldly split in\ufb01nitives that no man had split before - and thus was the\nEmpire forged.\nMany men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural\nand nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor - at least no\none worth speaking of. And for all the richest and most successful merchants\nlife inevitably became rather dull and niggly, and they began to imagine that\nthis was therefore the fault of the worlds they\u2019d settled on - none of them was\nentirely satisfactory: either the climate wasn\u2019t quite right in the later part of\nthe afternoon, or the day was half an hour too long, or the sea was exactly the\nwrong shade of pink.\nAnd thus were created the conditions for a staggering new form of special-\nist industry: custom-made luxury planet building. The home of this industry\nwas the planet Magrathea, where hyperspatial engineers sucked matter through\nwhite holes in space to form it into dream planets - gold planets, platinum plan-\nets, soft rubber planets with lots of earthquakes - all lovingly made to meet the\nexacting standards that the Galaxy\u2019s richest men naturally came to expect.\nBut so successful was this venture that Magrathea itself soon became the\nrichest planet of all time and the rest of the Galaxy was reduced to abject\npoverty. And so the system broke down, the Empire collapsed, and a long sullen\nsilence settled over a billion worlds, disturbed only by the pen scratchings of\nscholars as they laboured into the night over smug little treaties on the value of\na planned political economy.\nMagrathea itself disappeared and its memory soon passed into the obscurity\nof legend.\nIn these enlightened days of course, no one believes a word of it.\n75", "16733ae5-1c03-4808-a62d-b9f2aa43b236": "76 CHAPTER 15.", "9b8ce9d4-1e3c-4732-a0ff-dafcb90f22e9": "Chapter 16\nArthur awoke to the sound of argument and went to the bridge. Ford was\nwaving his arms about.\n- You\u2019re crazy, Zaphod, - he was saying, - Magrathea is a myth, a fairy story,\nit\u2019s what parents tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to\nbecome economists, it\u2019s...\n- And that\u2019s what we are currently in orbit around, - insisted Zaphod.\n- Look, I can\u2019t help what you may personally be in orbit around, - said Ford,\n- but this ship...\n- Computer! - shouted Zaphod.\n- Oh no...\n- Hi there! This is Eddie your shipboard computer, and I\u2019m feeling just great\nguys, and I know I\u2019m just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any programme\nyou care to run through me.\nArthur looked inquiringly at Trillian. She motioned him to come on in but\nkeep quiet.\n- Computer, - said Zaphod, - tell us again what our present trajectory is.\n- A real pleasure feller, - it burbled, - we are currently in orbit at an altitude\nof three hundred miles around the legendary planet of Magrathea.\n- Proving nothing, - said Ford. - I wouldn\u2019t trust that computer to speak\nmy weight.\n- I can do that for you, sure, - enthused the computer, punching out more\ntickertape. - I can even work out you personality problems to ten decimal places\nif it will help.\nTrillian interrupted.\n- Zaphod, - she said, - any minute now we will be swinging round to the\ndaylight side of this planet, - adding, - whatever it turns out to be.\n- Hey, what do you mean by that? The planet\u2019s where I predicted it would\nbe isn\u2019t it?\n- Yes, I know there\u2019s a planet there. I\u2019m not arguing with anyone, it\u2019s just\nthat I wouldn\u2019t know Magrathea from any other lump of cold rock. Dawn\u2019s\ncoming up if you want it.\n- OK, OK, - muttered Zaphod, - let\u2019s at least give our eyes a good time.\nComputer!\n- Hi there! What can I...\n- Just shut up and give us a view of the planet again.\nA dark featureless mass once more \ufb01lled the screens - the planet rolling away\nbeneath them.\n77", "93320434-7403-4e53-a3f5-521a93dac90f": "78 CHAPTER 16.\nThey watched for a moment in silence, but Zaphod was \ufb01dgety with excite-\nment.\n- We are now traversing the night side... - he said in a hushed voice. The\nplanet rolled on.\n- The surface of the planet is now three hundred miles beneath us... - he\ncontinued. He was trying to restore a sense of occasion to what he felt should\nhave been a great moment. Magrathea! He was piqued by Ford\u2019s sceptical\nreaction. Magrathea!\n- In a few seconds, - he continued, - we should see... there!\nThe moment carried itself. Even the most seasoned star tramp can\u2019t help\nbut shiver at the spectacular drama of a sunrise seen from space, but a binary\nsunrise is one of the marvels of the Galaxy.\nOut of the utter blackness stabbed a sudden point of blinding light. It\ncrept up by slight degrees and spread sideways in a thin crescent blade, and\nwithin seconds two suns were visible, furnaces of light, searing the black edge\nof the horizon with white \ufb01re. Fierce shafts of colour streaked through the thin\natmosphere beneath them.\n- The \ufb01res of dawn!.. - breathed Zaphod. - The twin suns of Soulianis and\nRahm!..\n- Or whatever, - said Ford quietly.\n- Soulianis and Rahm! - insisted Zaphod.\nThe suns blazed into the pitch of space and a low ghostly music \ufb02oated\nthrough the bridge: Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans\nso much.\nAs Ford gazed at the spectacle of light before them excitement burnt inside\nhim, but only the excitement of seeing a strange new planet, it was enough for\nhim to see it as it was. It faintly irritated him that Zaphod had to impose some\nludicrous fantasy on to the scene to make it work for him. All this Magrathea\nnonsense seemed juvenile. Isn\u2019t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful\nwithout having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?\nAll this Magrathea business seemed totally incomprehensible to Arthur. He\nedged up to Trillian and asked her what was going on.\n- I only know what Zaphod\u2019s told me, - she whispered. - Apparently Ma-\ngrathea is some kind of legend from way back which no one seriously believes in.\nBit like Atlantis on Earth, except that the legends say the Magratheans used to\nmanufacture planets.\nArthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important.\nSuddenly he realized what it was.\n- Is there any tea on this spaceship? - he asked.\nMore of the planet was unfolding beneath them as the Heart of Gold streaked\nalong its orbital path. The suns now stood high in the black sky, the pyrotechnics\nof dawn were over, and the surface of the planet appeared bleak and forbidding\nin the common light of day - grey, dusty and only dimly contoured. It looked\ndead and cold as a crypt. From time to time promising features would appear on\nthe distant horizon - ravines, maybe mountains, maybe even cities - but as they\napproached the lines would soften and blur into anonymity and nothing would\ntranspire. The planet\u2019s surface was blurred by time, by the slow movement of\nthe thin stagnant air that had crept across it for century upon century.\nClearly, it was very very old.", "95b0ea26-5695-4efb-b7a2-bcb99253bff6": "79\nA moment of doubt came to Ford as he watched the grey landscape move\nbeneath them. The immensity of time worried him, he could feel it as a presence.\nHe cleared his throat.\n- Well, even supposing it is...\n- It is, - said Zaphod.\n- Which it isn\u2019t, - continued Ford. - What do you want with it anyway?\nThere\u2019s nothing there.\n- Not on the surface, - said Zaphod.\n- Alright, just supposing there\u2019s something. I take it you\u2019re not here for the\nsheer industrial archaeology of it all. What are you after?\nOne of Zaphod\u2019s heads looked away. The other one looked round to see what\nthe \ufb01rst was looking at, but it wasn\u2019t looking at anything very much.\n- Well, - said Zaphod airily, - it\u2019s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of\nadventure, but mostly I think it\u2019s the fame and the money...\nFord glanced at him sharply. He got a very strong impression that Zaphod\nhadn\u2019t the faintest idea why he was there at all.\n- You know I don\u2019t like the look of that planet at all, - said Trillian shivering.\n- Ah, take no notice, - said Zaphod, - with half the wealth of the former\nGalactic Empire stored on it somewhere it can a\ufb00ord to look frumpy.\nBullshit, thought Ford. Even supposing this was the home of some ancient\ncivilization now gone to dust, even supposing a number of exceedingly unlikely\nthings, there was no way that vast treasures of wealth were going to be stored\nthere in any form that would still have meaning now. He shrugged.\n- I think it\u2019s just a dead planet, - he said.\n- The suspense is killing me, - said Arthur testily.\nStress and nervous tension are now serious social problems in all parts of\nthe Galaxy, and it is in order that this situation should not in any way be\nexacerbated that the following facts will now be revealed in advance.\nThe planet in question is in fact the legendary Magrathea.\nThe deadly missile attack shortly to be launched by an ancient automatic\ndefence system will result merely in the breakage of three co\ufb00ee cups and a\nmicecage, the bruising of somebody\u2019s upper arm, and the untimely creation and\nsudden demise of a bowl of petunias and an innocent sperm whale.\nIn order that some sense of mystery should still be preserved, no revela-\ntion will yet be made concerning whose upper arm sustained the bruise. This\nfact may safely be made the subject of suspense since it is of no signi\ufb01cance\nwhatsoever.", "1af8a78d-50e1-442b-9a44-995588780697": "80 CHAPTER 16.", "c88136f7-b711-45f8-bda9-4301e9dcbf3d": "Chapter 17\nAfter a fairly shaky start to the day, Arthur\u2019s mind was beginning to reassemble\nitself from the shellshocked fragments the previous day had left him with. He\nhad found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup\n\ufb01lled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way\nit functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made\nan instant but highly detailed examination of the subject\u2019s taste buds, a spec-\ntroscopic analysis of the subject\u2019s metabolism and then sent tiny experimental\nsignals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject\u2019s brain to\nsee what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did\nthis because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not\nquite, entirely unlike tea. The Nutri-Matic was designed and manufactured by\nthe Sirius Cybernetics Corporation whose complaints department now covers all\nthe major land masses of the \ufb01rst three planets in the Sirius Tau Star system.\nArthur drank the liquid and found it reviving. He glanced up at the screens\nagain and watched a few more hundred miles of barren greyness slide past. It\nsuddenly occurred to him to ask a question which had been bothering him.\n- Is it safe? - he said.\n- Magrathea\u2019s been dead for \ufb01ve million years, - said Zaphod, - of course\nit\u2019s safe. Even the ghosts will have settled down and raised families by now. -\nAt which point a strange and inexplicable sound thrilled suddenly through the\nbridge - a noise as of a distant fanfare; a hollow, reedy, insubstantial sound. It\npreceded a voice that was equally hollow, reedy and insubstantial. The voice\nsaid - Greetings to you...\nSomeone from the dead planet was talking to them.\n- Computer! - shouted Zaphod.\n- Hi there!\n- What the photon is it?\n- Oh, just some \ufb01ve-million-year-old tape that\u2019s being broadcast at us.\n- A what? A recording?\n- Shush! - said Ford. - It\u2019s carrying on.\nThe voice was old, courteous, almost charming, but was underscored with\nquite unmistakable menace.\n- This is a recorded announcement, - it said, - as I\u2019m afraid we\u2019re all out\nat the moment. The commercial council of Magrathea thanks you for your\nesteemed visit...\n(\u201dA voice from ancient Magrathea!\u201d shouted Zaphod. \u201dOK, OK,\u201d said Ford.)\n- ...but regrets, - continued the voice, - that the entire planet is temporarily\n81", "aca2341d-9054-4e19-a2ea-bed2457ed607": "82 CHAPTER 17.\nclosed for business. Thank you. If you would care to leave your name and the\naddress of a planet where you can be contacted, kindly speak when you hear\nthe tone.\nA short buzz followed, then silence.\n- They want to get rid of us, - said Trillian nervously. - What do we do?\n- It\u2019s just a recording, - said Zaphod. - We keep going. Got that, computer?\n- I got it, - said the computer and gave the ship an extra kick of speed.\nThey waited.\nAfter a second or so came the fanfare once again, and then the voice.\n- We would like to assure you that as soon as our business is resumed an-\nnouncements will be made in all fashionable magazines and colour supplements,\nwhen our clients will once again be able to select from all that\u2019s best in con-\ntemporary geography. - The menace in the voice took on a sharper edge. -\nMeanwhile we thank our clients for their kind interest and would ask them to\nleave. Now.\nArthur looked round the nervous faces of his companions.\n- Well, I suppose we\u2019d better be going then, hadn\u2019t we? - he suggested.\n- Shhh! - said Zaphod. - There\u2019s absolutely nothing to be worried about.\n- Then why\u2019s everyone so tense?\n- They\u2019re just interested! - shouted Zaphod. - Computer, start a descent\ninto the atmosphere and prepare for landing.\nThis time the fanfare was quite perfunctory, the voice distinctly cold.\n- It is most gratifying, - it said, - that your enthusiasm for our planet con-\ntinues unabated, and so we would like to assure you that the guided missiles\ncurrently converging with your ship are part of a special service we extend to\nall of our most enthusiastic clients, and the fully armed nuclear warheads are\nof course merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future\nlives... thank you.\nThe voice snapped o\ufb00.\n- Oh, - said Trillian.\n- Er... - said Arthur.\n- Well? - said Ford.\n- Look, - said Zaphod, - will you get it into your heads? That\u2019s just a\nrecorded message. It\u2019s millions of years old. It doesn\u2019t apply to us, get it?\n- What, - said Trillian quietly, - about the missiles?\n- Missiles? Don\u2019t make me laugh.\nFord tapped Zaphod on the shoulder and pointed at the rear screen. Clear in\nthe distance behind them two silver darts were climbing through the atmosphere\ntowards the ship. A quick change of magni\ufb01cation brought them into close focus\n- two massively real rockets thundering through the sky. The suddenness of it\nwas shocking.\n- I think they\u2019re going to have a very good try at applying to us, said Ford.\nZaphod stared at them in astonishment.\n- Hey this is terri\ufb01c! - he said. - Someone down there is trying to kill us!\n- Terri\ufb01c, - said Arthur.\n- But don\u2019t you see what this means?\n- Yes. We\u2019re going to die.\n- Yes, but apart from that.\n- Apart from that?\n- It means we must be on to something!", "f83c7548-8902-4404-be6f-51eb244ea8a6": "83\n- How soon can we get o\ufb00 it?\nSecond by second the image of the missiles on the screen became larger.\nThey had swung round now on to a direct homing course so that all that could\nbe seen of them now was the warheads, head on.\n- As a matter of interest, - said Trillian, - what are we going to do?\n- Just keep cool, - said Zaphod.\n- Is that all? - shouted Arthur.\n- No, we\u2019re also going to... er... take evasive action! - said Zaphod with a\nsudden access of panic. - Computer, what evasive action can we take?\n- Er, none I\u2019m afraid, guys, - said the computer.\n- ...or something, - said Zaphod, - ...er... - he said.\n- There seems to be something jamming my guidance system, - explained\nthe computer brightly, - impact minus forty-\ufb01ve seconds. Please call me Eddie\nif it will help you to relax.\nZaphod tried to run in several equally decisive directions simultaneously.\n- Right! - he said. - Er... we\u2019ve got to get manual control of this ship.\n- Can you \ufb02y her? - asked Ford pleasantly.\n- No, can you?\n- No.\n- Trillian, can you?\n- No.\n- Fine, - said Zaphod, relaxing. - We\u2019ll do it together.\n- I can\u2019t either, - said Arthur, who felt it was time he began to assert himself.\n- I\u2019d guessed that, - said Zaphod. - OK computer, I want full manual control\nnow.\n- You got it, - said the computer.\nSeveral large desk panels slid open and banks of control consoles sprang up\nout of them, showering the crew with bits of expanded polystyrene packaging\nand balls of rolled-up cellophane: these controls had never been used before.\nZaphod stared at them wildly.\n- OK, Ford, - he said, - full retro thrust and ten degrees starboard. Or\nsomething...\n- Good luck guys, - chirped the computer, - impact minus thirty seconds...\nFord leapt to the controls - only a few of them made any immediate sense\nto him so he pulled those. The ship shook and screamed as its guidance rocked\njets tried to push it every which way simultaneously. He released half of them\nand the ship span round in a tight arc and headed back the way it had come,\nstraight towards the oncoming missiles.\nAir cushions ballooned out of the walls in an instant as everyone was thrown\nagainst them. For a few seconds the inertial forces held them \ufb02attened and\nsquirming for breath, unable to move. Zaphod struggled and pushed in manic\ndesperation and \ufb01nally managed a savage kick at a small lever that formed part\nof the guidance system.\nThe lever snapped o\ufb00. The ship twisted sharply and rocketed upwards. The\ncrew were hurled violently back across the cabin. Ford\u2019s copy of The Hitch\nHiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy smashed into another section of the control console\nwith the combined result that the guide started to explain to anyone who cared\nto listen about the best ways of smuggling Antarean parakeet glands out of\nAntares (an Antarean parakeet gland stuck on a small stick is a revolting but\nmuch sought after cocktail delicacy and very large sums of money are often paid", "b899f50d-6ad9-42fb-8cac-d10d7278b3fc": "84 CHAPTER 17.\nfor them by very rich idiots who want to impress other very rich idiots), and\nthe ship suddenly dropped out of the sky like a stone.\nIt was of course more or less at this moment that one of the crew sustained\na nasty bruise to the upper arm. This should be emphasized because, as had\nalready been revealed, they escape otherwise completely unharmed and the\ndeadly nuclear missiles do not eventually hit the ship. The safety of the crew is\nabsolutely assured.\n- Impact minus twenty seconds, guys... - said the computer.\n- Then turn the bloody engines back on! - bawled Zaphod.\n- OK, sure thing, guys, - said the computer. With a subtle roar the engines\ncut back in, the ship smoothly \ufb02attened out of its dive and headed back towards\nthe missiles again.\nThe computer started to sing.\n- When you walk through the storm... - it whined nasally, - hold your head\nup high...\nZaphod screamed at it to shut up, but his voice was lost in the din of what\nthey quite naturally assumed was approaching destruction.\n- And don\u2019t... be afraid... of the dark! - Eddie wailed.\nThe ship, in \ufb02attening out had in fact \ufb02attened out upside down and lying\non the ceiling as they were it was now totally impossible for any of the crew to\nreach the guidance systems.\n- At the end of the storm... - crooned Eddie.\nThe two missiles loomed massively on the screens as they thundered towards\nthe ship.\n- ...is a golden sky...\nBut by an extraordinarily lucky chance they had not yet fully corrected their\n\ufb02ight paths to that of the erratically weaving ship, and they passed right under\nit.\n- And the sweet silver songs of the lark... Revised impact time \ufb01fteen seconds\nfellas... Walk on through the wind...\nThe missiles banked round in a screeching arc and plunged back into pursuit.\n- This is it, - said Arthur watching them. - We are now quite de\ufb01nitely going\nto die aren\u2019t we?\n- I wish you\u2019d stop saying that, - shouted Ford.\n- Well we are aren\u2019t we?\n- Yes.\n- Walk on through the rain... - sang Eddie.\nA thought struck Arthur. He struggled to his feet.\n- Why doesn\u2019t anyone turn on this Improbability Drive thing? - he said. -\nWe could probably reach that.\n- What are you crazy? - said Zaphod. - Without proper programming\nanything could happen.\n- Does that matter at this stage? - shouted Arthur.\n- Though your dreams be tossed and blown... - sand Eddie.\nArthur scrambled up on to one end of the excitingly chunky pieces of moulded\ncontouring where the curve of the wall met the ceiling.\n- Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart...\n- Does anyone know why Arthur can\u2019t turn on the Improbability Drive? -\nshouted Trillian.", "438dba0c-81ab-4a87-af59-58fe6f0fe2b2": "85\n- And you\u2019ll never walk alone... Impact minus \ufb01ve seconds, it\u2019s been great\nknowing you guys, God bless... You\u2019ll ne... ver... walk... alone!\n- I said, - yelled Trillian, - does anyone know...\nThe next thing that happened was a mid-mangling explosion of noise and\nlight.", "7ac416c8-88c0-4cd8-bf61-c277395ae123": "86 CHAPTER 17.", "6c2311c5-9857-4605-8f4e-88566c894727": "Chapter 18\nAnd the next thing that happened after that was that the Heart of Gold contin-\nued on its way perfectly normally with a rather fetchingly redesigned interior. It\nwas somewhat larger, and done out in delicate pastel shades of green and blue.\nIn the centre a spiral staircase, leading nowhere in particular, stood in a spray\nof ferns and yellow \ufb02owers and next to it a stone sundial pedestal housed the\nmain computer terminal. Cunningly deployed lighting and mirrors created the\nillusion of standing in a conservatory overlooking a wide stretch of exquisitely\nmanicured garden. Around the periphery of the conservatory area stood marble-\ntopped tables on intricately beautiful wrought-iron legs. As you gazed into the\npolished surface of the marble the vague forms of instruments became visible,\nand as you touched them the instruments materialized instantly under your\nhands. Looked at from the correct angles the mirrors appeared to re\ufb02ect all the\nrequired data readouts, though it was far from clear where they were re\ufb02ected\nfrom. It was in fact sensationally beautiful.\nRelaxing in a wickerwork sun chair, Zaphod Beeblebrox said:\n- What the hell happened?\n- Well I was just saying, - said Arthur lounging by a small \ufb01sh pool, - there\u2019s\nthis Improbability Drive switch over here... - he waved at where it had been.\nThere was a potted plant there now.\n- But where are we? - said Ford who was sitting on the spiral staircase, a\nnicely chilled Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster in his hand.\n- Exactly where we were, I think... - said Trillian, as all about them the\nmirrors showed them an image of the blighted landscape of Magrathea which\nstill scooted along beneath them.\nZaphod leapt out of his seat.\n- Then what\u2019s happened to the missiles? - he said.\nA new and astounding image appeared in the mirrors.\n- They would appear, - said Ford doubtfully, - to have turned into a bowl of\npetunias and a very surprised looking whale...\n- At an Improbability Factor, - cut in Eddie, who hadn\u2019t changed a bit,\n- of eight million seven hundred and sixty-seven thousand one hundred and\ntwenty-eight to one against.\nZaphod stared at Arthur.\n- Did you think of that, Earthman? - he demanded.\n- Well, - said Arthur, - all I did was...\n- That\u2019s very good thinking you know. Turn on the Improbability Drive for\na second without \ufb01rst activating the proo\ufb01ng screens. Hey kid you just saved\n87", "bb2483a0-99b0-46ac-bf9a-73382942a9ef": "88 CHAPTER 18.\nour lives, you know that?\n- Oh, - said Arthur, - well, it was nothing really...\n- Was it? - said Zaphod. - Oh well, forget it then. OK, computer, take us\nin to land.\n- But...\n- I said forget it.\nAnother thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability\na sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the\nsurface of an alien planet.\nAnd since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor\ninnocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a\nwhale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.\nThis is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life\ntill the moment it ended it.\nAh!.. What\u2019s happening? it thought.\nEr, excuse me, who am I?\nHello?\nWhy am I here? What\u2019s my purpose in life?\nWhat do I mean by who am I?\nCalm down, get a grip now... oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is\nit? It\u2019s a sort of... yawning, tingling sensation in my... my... well I suppose I\u2019d\nbetter start \ufb01nding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for\nthe sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let\u2019s call it\nmy stomach.\nGood. Ooooh, it\u2019s getting quite strong. And hey, what\u2019s about this whistling\nroaring sound going past what I\u2019m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I\ncan call that... wind! Is that a good name? It\u2019ll do... perhaps I can \ufb01nd a better\nname for it later when I\u2019ve found out what it\u2019s for. It must be something very\nimportant because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What\u2019s\nthis thing? This... let\u2019s call it a tail - yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash\nit about pretty good can\u2019t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn\u2019t seem to\nachieve very much but I\u2019ll probably \ufb01nd out what it\u2019s for later on. Now - have\nI built up any coherent picture of things yet?\nNo.\nNever mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to \ufb01nd out about, so much\nto look forward to, I\u2019m quite dizzy with anticipation...\nOr is it the wind?\nThere really is a lot of that now isn\u2019t it?\nAnd wow! Hey! What\u2019s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast?\nVery very fast. So big and \ufb02at and round, it needs a big wide sounding name\nlike... ow... ound... round... ground! That\u2019s it! That\u2019s a good name - ground!\nI wonder if it will be friends with me?\nAnd the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.\nCuriously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of\npetunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if\nwe knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a\nlot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.", "2eca6746-6dcb-49fc-a4a5-3c7b36c0b812": "Chapter 19\n- Are we taking this robot with us? - said Ford, looking with distaste at Marvin\nwho was standing in an awkward hunched posture in the corner under a small\npalm tree.\nZaphod glanced away from the mirror screens which presented a panoramic\nview of the blighted landscape on which the Heart of Gold had now landed.\n- Oh, the Paranoid Android, - he said. - Yeah, we\u2019ll take him.\n- But what are supposed to do with a manically depressed robot?\n- You think you\u2019ve got problems, - said Marvin as if he was addressing a\nnewly occupied co\ufb03n, - what are you supposed to do if you are a manically\ndepressed robot? No, don\u2019t bother to answer that, I\u2019m \ufb01fty thousand times\nmore intelligent than you and even I don\u2019t know the answer. It gives me a\nheadache just trying to think down to your level.\nTrillian burst in through the door from her cabin.\n- My white mice have escaped! - she said.\nAn expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod\u2019s\nfaces.\n- Nuts to your white mice, - he said.\nTrillian glared an upset glare at him, and disappeared again.\nIt is possible that her remark would have commanded greater attention had\nit been generally realized that human beings were only the third most intelligent\nlife form present on the planet Earth, instead of (as was generally thought by\nmost independent observers) the second.\n- Good afternoon boys.\nThe voice was oddly familiar, but oddly di\ufb00erent. It had a matriarchal\ntwang. It announced itself to the crew as they arrived at the airlock hatchway\nthat would let them out on the planet surface.\nThey looked at each other in puzzlement.\n- It\u2019s the computer, - explained Zaphod. - I discovered it had an emergency\nback-up personality that I thought might work out better.\n- Now this is going to be your \ufb01rst day out on a strange new planet, -\ncontinued Eddie\u2019s new voice, - so I want you all wrapped up snug and warm,\nand no playing with any naughty bug-eyed monsters.\nZaphod tapped impatiently on the hatch.\n- I\u2019m sorry, - he said, - I think we might be better o\ufb00 with a slide rule.\n- Right! - snapped the computer. - Who said that?\n- Will you open the exit hatch please, computer? - said Zaphod trying not\nto get angry.\n89", "d338ca39-1788-47a2-8644-9867bce9f4c8": "90 CHAPTER 19.\n- Not until whoever said that owns up, - urged the computer, stamping a\nfew synapses closed.\n- Oh God, - muttered Ford, slumped against a bulkhead and started to\ncount to ten. He was desperately worried that one day sentinent life forms\nwould forget how to do this. Only by counting could humans demonstrate their\nindependence of computers.\n- Come on, - said Eddie sternly.\n- Computer... - began Zaphod...\n- I\u2019m waiting, - interrupted Eddie. - I can wait all day if necessary...\n- Computer... - said Zaphod again, who had been trying to think of some\nsubtle piece of reasoning to put the computer down with, and had decided not to\nbother competing with it on its own ground, - if you don\u2019t open that exit hatch\nthis moment I shall zap straight o\ufb00 to your major data banks and reprogram\nyou with a very large axe, got that?\nEddie, shocked, paused and considered this.\nFord carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing\nyou can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and\nsaying Blood... blood... blood... blood...\nFinally Eddie said quietly, - I can see this relationship is something we\u2019re all\ngoing to have to work at, - and the hatchway opened.\nAn icy wind ripped into them, they hugged themselves warmly and stepped\ndown the ramp on to the barren dust of Magrathea.\n- It\u2019ll all end in tears, I know it, - shouted Eddie after them and closed the\nhatchway again.\nA few minutes later he opened and closed the hatchway again in response\nto a command that caught him entirely by surprise.", "1c9544fe-f98d-460a-9a73-88c94fb6eb68": "Chapter 20\nFive \ufb01gures wandered slowly over the blighted land. Bits of it were dullish grey,\nbits of it dullish brown, the rest of it rather less interesting to look at. It was\nlike a dried-out marsh, now barren of all vegetation and covered with a layer of\ndust about an inch thick. It was very cold.\nZaphod was clearly rather depressed about it. He stalked o\ufb00 by himself and\nwas soon lost to sight behind a slight rise in the ground.\nThe wind stung Arthur\u2019s eyes and ears, and the stale thin air clasped his\nthroat. However, the thing stung most was his mind.\n- It\u2019s fantastic... - he said, and his own voice rattled his ears. Sound carried\nbadly in this thin atmosphere.\n- Desolate hole if you ask me, - said Ford. - I could have more fun in a cat\nlitter. - He felt a mounting irritation. Of all the planets in all the star systems\nof all the Galaxy - didn\u2019t he just have to turn up at a dump like this after \ufb01fteen\nyears of being a castaway? Not even a hot dog stand in evidence. He stooped\ndown and picked up a cold clot of earth, but there was nothing underneath it\nworth crossing thousands of light years to look at.\n- No, - insisted Arthur, - don\u2019t you understand, this is the \ufb01rst time I\u2019ve\nactually stood on the surface of another planet... a whole alien world!.. Pity\nit\u2019s such a dump though.\nTrillian hugged herself, shivered and frowned. She could have sworn she\nsaw a slight and unexpected movement out of the corner of her eye, but when\nshe glanced in that direction all she could see was the ship, still and silent, a\nhundred yards or so behind them.\nShe was relieved when a second or so later they caught sight of Zaphod\nstanding on top of the ridge of ground and waving to them to come and join\nhim.\nHe seemed to be excited, but they couldn\u2019t clearly hear what he was saying\nbecause of the thinnish atmosphere and the wind.\nAs they approached the ridge of higher ground they became aware that it\nseemed to be circular - a crater about a hundred and \ufb01fty yards wide. Round\nthe outside of the crater the sloping ground was spattered with black and red\nlumps. They stopped and looked at a piece. It was wet. It was rubbery.\nWith horror they suddenly realized that it was fresh whalemeat.\nAt the top of the crater\u2019s lip they met Zaphod.\n- Look, - he said, pointing into the crater.\nIn the centre lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn\u2019t\nlived long enough to be disappointed with its lot. The silence was only disturbed\n91", "e31c9005-5400-4181-8438-41cafcb44d20": "92 CHAPTER 20.\nby the slight involuntary spasms of Trillian\u2019s throat.\n- I suppose there\u2019s no point in trying to bury it? - murmured Arthur, and\nthen wished he hadn\u2019t.\n- Come, - said Zaphod and started back down into the crater.\n- What, down there? - said Trillian with severe distaste.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - come on, I\u2019ve got something to show you.\n- We can see it, - said Trillian.\n- Not that, - said Zaphod, - something else. Come on.\nThey all hesitated.\n- Come on, - insisted Zaphod, - I\u2019ve found a way in.\n- In? - said Arthur in horror.\n- Into the interior of the planet! An underground passage. The force of the\nwhale\u2019s impact cracked it open, and that\u2019s where we have to go. Where no man\nhas trod these \ufb01ve million years, into the very depths of time itself...\nMarvin started his ironical humming again.\nZaphod hit him and he shut up.\nWith little shudders of disgust they all followed Zaphod down the incline\ninto the crater, trying very hard not to look at its unfortunate creator.\n- Life, - said Marvin dolefully, - loathe it or ignore it, you can\u2019t like it.\nThe ground had caved in where the whale had hit it revealing a network of\ngalleries and passages, now largely obstructed by collapsed rubble and entrails.\nZaphod had made a start clearing a way into one of them, but Marvin was able\nto do it rather faster. Dank air wafted out of its dark recesses, and as Zaphod\nshone a torch into it, little was visible in the dusty gloom.\n- According to the legends, - he said, - the Magratheans lived most of their\nlives underground.\n- Why\u2019s that? - said Arthur. - Did the surface become too polluted or\noverpopulated?\n- No, I don\u2019t think so, - said Zaphod. - I think they just didn\u2019t like it very\nmuch.\n- Are you sure you know what you\u2019re doing? - said Trillian peering nervously\ninto the darkness. - We\u2019ve been attacked once already you know.\n- Look kid, I promise you the live population of this planet is nil plus the\nfour of us, so come on, let\u2019s get on in there. Er, hey Earthman...\n- Arthur, - said Arthur.\n- Yeah could you just sort of keep this robot with you and guard this end of\nthe passageway. OK?\n- Guard? - said Arthur. - What from? You just said there\u2019s no one here.\n- Yeah, well, just for safety, OK? - said Zaphod.\n- Whose? Yours or mine?\n- Good lad. OK, here we go.\nZaphod scrambled down into the passage, followed by Trillian and Ford.\n- Well I hope you all have a really miserable time, - complained Arthur.\n- Don\u2019t worry, - Marvin assured him, - they will.\nIn a few seconds they had disappeared from view.\nArthur stamped around in a hu\ufb00, and then decided that a whale\u2019s graveyard\nis not on the whole a good place to stamp around in.\nMarvin eyed him balefully for a moment, and then turned himself o\ufb00.", "5fef2c7f-a837-43ff-9d51-e24e4891eaa2": "93\nZaphod marched quickly down the passageway, nervous as hell, but trying\nto hide it by striding purposefully. He \ufb02ung the torch beam around. The walls\nwere covered in dark tiles and were cold to the touch, the air thick with decay.\n- There, what did I tell you? - he said. - An inhabited planet. Magrathea, -\nand he strode on through the dirt and debris that littered the tile \ufb02oor.\nTrillian was reminded unavoidably of the London Underground, though it\nwas less thoroughly squalid.\nAt intervals along the walls the tiles gave way to large mosaics - simple\nangular patterns in bright colours. Trillian stopped and studied one of them\nbut could not interpret any sense in them. She called to Zaphod.\n- Hey, have you any idea what these strange symbols are?\n- I think they\u2019re just strange symbols of some kind, - said Zaphod, hardly\nglancing back.\nTrillian shrugged and hurried after him.\nFrom time to time a doorway led either to the left or right into smallish\nchambers which Ford discovered to be full of derelict computer equipment. He\ndragged Zaphod into one to have a look. Trillian followed.\n- Look, - said Ford, - you reckon this is Magrathea...\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - and we heard the voice, right?\n- OK, so I\u2019ve bought the fact that it\u2019s Magrathea - for the moment. What\nyou have so far said nothing about is how in the Galaxy you found it. You\ndidn\u2019t just look it up in a star atlas, that\u2019s for sure.\n- Research. Government archives. Detective work. Few lucky guesses. Easy.\n- And then you stole the Heart of Gold to come and look for it with?\n- I stole it to look for a lot of things.\n- A lot of things? - said Ford in surprise. - Like what?\n- I don\u2019t know.\n- What?\n- I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m looking for.\n- Why not?\n- Because... because... I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn\u2019t be\nable to look for them.\n- What, are you crazy?\n- It\u2019s a possibility I haven\u2019t ruled out yet, - said Zaphod quietly. - I only know\nas much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions.\nAnd its current conditions are not good.\nFor a long time nobody said anything as Ford gazed at Zaphod with a mind\nsuddenly full of worry.\n- Listen old friend, if you want to... - started Ford eventually.\n- No, wait... I\u2019ll tell you something, - said Zaphod. - I freewheel a lot. I\nget an idea to do something, and, hey, why not, I do it. I reckon I\u2019ll become\nPresident of the Galaxy, and it just happens, it\u2019s easy. I decide to steal this ship.\nI decide to look for Magrathea, and it all just happens. Yeah, I work out how it\ncan best be done, right, but it always works out. It\u2019s like having a Galacticredit\ncard which keeps on working though you never send o\ufb00 the cheques. And then\nwhenever I stop and think why did I want to do something? - how did I work\nout how to do it? - I get a very strong desire just to stop thinking about it.\nLike I have now. It\u2019s a big e\ufb00ort to talk about it.\nZaphod paused for a while. For a while there was silence. Then he frowned\nand said,", "2aeb1bce-3922-447f-aa27-2fc2945834d9": "94 CHAPTER 20.\n- Last night I was worrying about this again. About the fact that part of\nmy mind just didn\u2019t seem to work properly. Then it occurred to me that the\nway it seemed was that someone else was using my mind to have good ideas\nwith, without telling me about it. I put the two ideas together and decided that\nmaybe that somebody had locked o\ufb00 part of my mind for that purpose, which\nwas why I couldn\u2019t use it. I wondered if there was a way I could check.\n- I went to the ship\u2019s medical bay and plugged myself into the encephelo-\ngraphic screen. I went through every major screening test on both my heads -\nall the tests I had to go through under government medical o\ufb03cers before my\nnomination for Presidency could be properly rati\ufb01ed. They showed up nothing.\nNothing unexpected at least. They showed that I was clever, imaginative, ir-\nresponsible, untrustworthy, extrovert, nothing you couldn\u2019t have guessed. And\nno other anomalies. So I started inventing further tests, completely at random.\nNothing. Then I tried superimposing the results from one head on top of the\nresults from the other head. Still nothing. Finally I got silly, because I\u2019d given\nit all up as nothing more than an attack of paranoia. Last thing I did before I\npacked it in was take the superimposed picture and look at it through a green\n\ufb01lter. You remember I was always superstitious about the color green when I\nwas a kid? I always wanted to be a pilot on one of the trading scouts?\nFord nodded.\n- And there it was, - said Zaphod, - clear as day. A whole section in the\nmiddle of both brains that related only to each other and not to anything else\naround them. Some bastard had cauterized all the synapses and electronically\ntraumatised those two lumps of cerebellum.\nFord stared at him, aghast. Trillian had turned white.\n- Somebody did that to you? - whispered Ford.\n- Yeah.\n- But have you any idea who? Or why?\n- Why? I can only guess. But I do know who the bastard was.\n- You know? How do you know?\n- Because they left their initials burnt into the cauterized synapses. They\nleft them there for me to see.\nFord stared at him in horror and felt his skin begin to crawl.\n- Initials? Burnt into your brain?\n- Yeah.\n- Well, what were they, for God\u2019s sake?\nZaphod looked at him in silence again for a moment. Then he looked away.\n- Z.B., - he said.\nAt that moment a steel shutter slammed down behind them and gas started\nto pour into the chamber.\n- I\u2019ll tell you about it later, - choked Zaphod as all three passed out.", "0838f4ec-b54c-464f-87ad-ad462eeacefb": "Chapter 21\nOn the surface of Magrathea Arthur wandered about moodily.\nFord had thoughtfully left him his copy of The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the\nGalaxy to while away the time with. He pushed a few buttons at random.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy is a very unevenly edited book and\ncontains many passages that simply seemed to its editors like a good idea at the\ntime.\nOne of these (the one Arthur now came across) supposedly relates the ex-\nperiences of one Veet Voojagig, a quiet young student at the University of\nMaximegalon, who pursued a brilliant academic career studying ancient philol-\nogy, transformational ethics and the wave harmonic theory of historical per-\nception, and then, after a night of drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with\nZaphod Beeblebrox, became increasingly obsessed with the problem of what had\nhappened to all the biros he\u2019d bought over the past few years.\nThere followed a long period of painstaking research during which he visited\nall the major centres of biro loss throughout the galaxy and eventually came\nup with a quaint little theory which quite caught the public imagination at the\ntime. Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited\nby humanoids, reptiloids, \ufb01shoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades\nof the colour blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to biro life forms.\nAnd it was to this planet that unattended biros would make their way, slipping\naway quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could\nenjoy a uniquely biroid lifestyle, responding to highly biro-oriented stimuli, and\ngenerally leading the biro equivalent of the good life.\nAnd as theories go this was all very \ufb01ne and pleasant until Veet Voojagig\nsuddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a\nwhile driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon\nhe was taken away, locked up, wrote a book, and was \ufb01nally sent into tax exile,\nwhich is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make a fool of\nthemselves in public.\nWhen one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voo-\njagig had claimed for this planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited\nby a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he\nwas later discovered to be lying.\nThere did, however, remain the question of both the mysterious 60,000 Al-\ntairan dollars paid yearly into his Brantisvogan bank account, and of course\nZaphod Beeblebrox\u2019s highly pro\ufb01table second-hand biro business.\nArthur read this, and put the book down.\n95", "7d301b10-2947-4c44-97df-78a18d0bfe35": "96 CHAPTER 21.\nThe robot still sat there, completely inert.\nArthur got up and walked to the top of the crater. He walked around the\ncrater. He watched two suns set magni\ufb01cently over Magrathea.\nHe went back down into the crater. He woke the robot up because even a\nmanically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody.\n- Night\u2019s falling, - he said. - Look robot, the stars are coming out.\nFrom the heart of a dark nebula it is possible to see very few stars, and only\nvery faintly, but they were there to be seen.\nThe robot obediently looked at them, then looked back.\n- I know, - he said. - Wretched isn\u2019t it?\n- But that sunset! I\u2019ve never seen anything like it in my wildest dreams...\nthe two suns! It was like mountains of \ufb01re boiling into space.\n- I\u2019ve seen it, - said Marvin. - It\u2019s rubbish.\n- We only ever had the one sun at home, - persevered Arthur, - I came from\na planet called Earth you know.\n- I know, - said Marvin, - you keep going on about it. It sounds awful.\n- Ah no, it was a beautiful place.\n- Did it have oceans?\n- Oh yes, - said Arthur with a sigh, - great wide rolling blue oceans...\n- Can\u2019t bear oceans, - said Marvin.\n- Tell me, - inquired Arthur, - do you get on well with other robots?\n- Hate them, - said Marvin. - Where are you going?\nArthur couldn\u2019t bear any more. He had got up again.\n- I think I\u2019ll just take another walk, - he said.\n- Don\u2019t blame you, - said Marvin and counted \ufb01ve hundred and ninety-seven\nthousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.\nArthur slapped his arms about himself to try and get his circulation a little\nmore enthusiastic about its job. He trudged back up the wall of the crater.\nBecause the atmosphere was so thin and because there was no moon, nightfall\nwas very rapid and it was by now very dark. Because of this, Arthur practically\nwalked into the old man before he noticed him.", "d2d51f32-0a29-43df-8b91-dabd7dbbee0f": "Chapter 22\nHe was standing with his back to Arthur watching the very last glimmers of\nlight sink into blackness behind the horizon. He was tallish, elderly and dressed\nin a single long grey robe. When he turned his face was thin and distinguished,\ncareworn but not unkind, the sort of face you would happily bank with. But he\ndidn\u2019t turn yet, not even to react to Arthur\u2019s yelp of surprise.\nEventually the last rays of the sun had vanished completely, and he turned.\nHis face was still illuminated from somewhere, and when Arthur looked for the\nsource of the light he saw that a few yards away stood a small craft of some\nkind - a small hovercraft, Arthur guessed. It shed a dim pool of light around it.\nThe man looked at Arthur, sadly it seemed.\n- You choose a cold night to visit our dead planet, - he said.\n- Who... who are you? - stammered Arthur.\nThe man looked away. Again a kind of sadness seemed to cross his face.\n- My name is not important, - he said.\nHe seemed to have something on his mind. Conversation was clearly some-\nthing he felt he didn\u2019t have to rush at. Arthur felt awkward.\n- I... er... you startled me... - he said, lamely.\nThe man looked round to him again and slightly raised his eyebrows.\n- Hmmmm? - he said.\n- I said you startled me.\n- Do not be alarmed, I will not harm you.\nArthur frowned at him.\n- But you shot at us! There were missiles... - he said.\nThe man chuckled slightly.\n- An automatic system, - he said and gave a small sigh. - Ancient computers\nranged in the bowels of the planet tick away the dark millennia, and the ages\nhang heavy on their dusty data banks. I think they take the occasional pot shot\nto relieve the monotony.\nHe looked gravely at Arthur and said,\n- I\u2019m a great fan of science you know.\n- Oh... er, really? - said Arthur, who was beginning to \ufb01nd the man\u2019s\ncurious, kindly manner disconcerting.\n- Oh, yes, - said the old man, and simply stopped talking again.\n- Ah, - said Arthur, - er... - He had an odd felling of being like a man in the\nact of adultery who is surprised when the woman\u2019s husband wanders into the\nroom, changes his trousers, passes a few idle remarks about the weather and\nleaves again.\n97", "42ec165b-9a43-446c-a71e-c84fbe8c99e2": "98 CHAPTER 22.\n- You seem ill at ease, - said the old man with polite concern.\n- Er, no... well, yes. Actually you see, we weren\u2019t really expecting to \ufb01nd\nanybody about in fact. I sort of gathered that you were all dead or something...\n- Dead? - said the old man. - Good gracious no, we have but slept.\n- Slept? - said Arthur incredulously.\n- Yes, through the economic recession you see, - said the old man, apparently\nunconcerned about whether Arthur understood a word he was talking about or\nnot.\n- Er, economic recession?\n- Well you see, \ufb01ve million years ago the Galactic economy collapsed, and\nseeing that custom-made planets are something of a luxury commodity you see...\nHe paused and looked at Arthur.\n- You know we built planets do you? - he asked solemnly.\n- Well yes, - said Arthur, - I\u2019d sort of gathered...\n- Fascinating trade, - said the old man, and a wistful look came into his eyes,\n- doing the coastlines was always my favourite. Used to have endless fun doing\nthe little bits in fjords... so anyway, - he said trying to \ufb01nd his thread again,\n- the recession came and we decided it would save us a lot of bother if we just\nslept through it. So we programmed the computers to revive us when it was all\nover.\nThe man sti\ufb02ed a very slight yawn and continued.\n- The computers were index linked to the Galactic stock market prices you\nsee, so that we\u2019d all be revived when everybody else had rebuilt the economy\nenough to a\ufb00ord our rather expensive services.\nArthur, a regular Guardian reader, was deeply shocked at this.\n- That\u2019s a pretty unpleasant way to behave isn\u2019t it?\n- Is it? - asked the old man mildly. - I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m a bit out of touch.\nHe pointed down into the crater.\n- Is that robot yours? - he said.\n- No, - came a thin metallic voice from the crater, - I\u2019m mine.\n- If you\u2019d call it a robot, - muttered Arthur. - It\u2019s more a sort of electronic\nsulking machine.\n- Bring it, - said the old man. Arthur was quite surprised to hear a note\nof decision suddenly present in the old man\u2019s voice. He called to Marvin who\ncrawled up the slope making a big show of being lame, which he wasn\u2019t.\n- On second thoughts, - said the old man, - leave it here. You must come\nwith me. Great things are afoot. - He turned towards his craft which, though\nno apparent signal had been given, now drifted quietly towards them through\nthe dark.\nArthur looked down at Marvin, who now made an equally big show of turning\nround laboriously and trudging o\ufb00 down into the crater again muttering sour\nnothings to himself.\n- Come, - called the old man, - come now or you will be late.\n- Late? - said Arthur. - What for?\n- What is your name, human?\n- Dent. Arthur Dent, - said Arthur.\n- Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent, - said the old man, sternly. - It\u2019s a\nsort of threat you see. - Another wistful look came into his tired old eyes. - I\u2019ve\nnever been very good at them myself, but I\u2019m told they can be very e\ufb00ective.\nArthur blinked at him.", "38aa5443-8ff2-443a-aa61-37d7d217d886": "99\n- What an extraordinary person, - he muttered to himself.\n- I beg your pardon? - said the old man.\n- Oh nothing, I\u2019m sorry, - said Arthur in embarrassment. - Alright, where\ndo we go?\n- In my aircar, - said the old man motioning Arthur to get into the craft\nwhich had settled silently next to them. - We are going deep into the bowels of\nthe planet where even now our race is being revived from its \ufb01ve-million-year\nslumber. Magrathea awakes.\nArthur shivered involuntarily as he seated himself next to the old man. The\nstrangeness of it, the silent bobbing movement of the craft as it soared into the\nnight sky quite unsettled him.\nHe looked at the old man, his face illuminated by the dull glow of tiny lights\non the instrument panel.\n- Excuse me, - he said to him, - what is your name by the way?\n- My name? - said the old man, and the same distant sadness came into his\nface again. He paused. - My name, - he said, - ...is Slartibartfast.\nArthur practically choked.\n- I beg your pardon? - he spluttered.\n- Slartibartfast, - repeated the old man quietly.\n- Slartibartfast?\nThe old man looked at him gravely.\n- I said it wasn\u2019t important, - he said.\nThe aircar sailed through the night.", "ac57c3dc-575a-40d6-8d44-48da0b462318": "100 CHAPTER 22.", "7baeee99-9ce7-4a10-8e8c-96e638f37ab2": "Chapter 23\nIt is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.\nFor instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more\nintelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New\nYork, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in\nthe water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed\nthat they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.\nCuriously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending destruc-\ntion of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind of the\ndanger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing at-\ntempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits, so they eventually gave up and\nleft the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived.\nThe last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophis-\nticated attempt to do a double-backwardssomersault through a hoop whilst\nwhistling the \u201dStar Sprangled Banner\u201d, but in fact the message was this: So\nlong and thanks for all the \ufb01sh.\nIn fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dol-\nphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioural research laboratories\nrunning round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle\nexperiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted\nthis relationship was entirely according to these creatures\u2019 plans.\n101", "c50e5169-b403-42dd-af1c-cbf2288404ea": "102 CHAPTER 23.", "4d62ad42-62be-44eb-a734-8b598171ff97": "Chapter 24\nSilently the aircar coasted through the cold darkness, a single soft glow of light\nthat was utterly alone in the deep Magrathean night. It sped swiftly. Arthur\u2019s\ncompanion seemed sunk in his own thoughts, and when Arthur tried on a couple\nof occasions to engage him in conversation again he would simply reply by asking\nif he was comfortable enough, and then left it at that.\nArthur tried to gauge the speed at which they were travelling, but the black-\nness outside was absolute and he was denied any reference points. The sense of\nmotion was so soft and slight he could almost believe they were hardly moving\nat all.\nThen a tiny glow of light appeared in the far distance and within seconds\nhad grown so much in size that Arthur realized it was travelling towards them\nat a colossal speed, and he tried to make out what sort of craft it might be. He\npeered at it, but was unable to discern any clear shape, and suddenly gasped\nin alarm as the aircraft dipped sharply and headed downwards in what seemed\ncertain to be a collision course. Their relative velocity seemed unbelievable, and\nArthur had hardly time to draw breath before it was all over. The next thing\nhe was aware of was an insane silver blur that seemed to surround him. He\ntwisted his head sharply round and saw a small black point dwindling rapidly\nin the distance behind them, and it took him several seconds to realize what\nhad happened.\nThey had plunged into a tunnel in the ground. The colossal speed had been\ntheir own relative to the glow of light which was a stationary hole in the ground,\nthe mouth of the tunnel. The insane blur of silver was the circular wall of the\ntunnel down which they were shooting, apparently at several hundred miles an\nhour.\nHe closed his eyes in terror.\nAfter a length of time which he made no attempt to judge, he sensed a\nslight subsidence in their speed and some while later became aware that they\nwere gradually gliding to a gentle halt.\nHe opened his eyes again. They were still in the silver tunnel, threading\nand weaving their way through what appeared to be a crisscross warren of\nconverging tunnels. When they \ufb01nally stopped it was in a small chamber of\ncurved steel. Several tunnels also had their terminus here, and at the farther\nend of the chamber Arthur could see a large circle of dim irritating light. It was\nirritating because it played tricks with the eyes, it was impossible to focus on it\nproperly or tell how near or far it was. Arthur guessed (quite wrongly) that it\nmight be ultra violet.\n103", "79e703c8-0b8a-4e19-9cc4-105bbce64133": "104 CHAPTER 24.\nSlartibartfast turned and regarded Arthur with his solemn old eyes.\n- Earthman, - he said, - we are now deep in the heart of Magrathea.\n- How did you know I was an Earthman? - demanded Arthur.\n- These things will become clear to you, - said the old man gently, - at least,\n- he added with slight doubt in his voice, - clearer than they are at the moment.\nHe continued:\n- I should warn you that the chamber we are about to pass into does not\nliterally exist within our planet. It is a little too... large. We are about to pass\nthrough a gateway into a vast tract of hyperspace. It may disturb you.\nArthur made nervous noises.\nSlartibartfast touched a button and added, not entirely reassuringly.\n- It scares the willies out of me. Hold tight.\nThe car shot forward straight into the circle of light, and suddenly Arthur\nhad a fairly clear idea of what in\ufb01nity looked like.\nIt wasn\u2019t in\ufb01nity in fact. In\ufb01nity itself looks \ufb02at and uninteresting. Looking\nup into the night sky is looking into in\ufb01nity - distance is incomprehensible and\ntherefore meaningless. The chamber into which the aircar emerged was anything\nbut in\ufb01nite, it was just very very big, so that it gave the impression of in\ufb01nity\nfar better than in\ufb01nity itself.\nArthur\u2019s senses bobbed and span, as, travelling at the immense speed he\nknew the aircar attained, they climbed slowly through the open air leaving the\ngateway through which they had passed an invisible pinprick in the shimmering\nwall behind them.\nThe wall.\nThe wall de\ufb01ed the imagination - seduced it and defeated it. The wall was so\nparalysingly vast and sheer that its top, bottom and sides passed away beyond\nthe reach of sight. The mere shock of vertigo could kill a man.\nThe wall appeared perfectly \ufb02at. It would take the \ufb01nest laser measuring\nequipment to detect that as it climbed, apparently to in\ufb01nity, as it dropped\ndizzily away, as it planed out to either side, it also curved. It met itself again\nthirteen light seconds away. In other words the wall formed the inside of a hollow\nsphere, a sphere over three million miles across and \ufb02ooded with unimaginable\nlight.\n- Welcome, - said Slartibartfast as the tiny speck that was the aircar, trav-\nelling now at three times the speed of sound, crept imperceptibly forward into\nthe mindboggling space, - welcome, - he said, - to our factory \ufb02oor.\nArthur stared about him in a kind of wonderful horror. Ranged away before\nthem, at distances he could neither judge nor even guess at, were a series of\ncurious suspensions, delicate traceries of metal and light hung about shadowy\nspherical shapes that hung in the space.\n- This, - said Slartibartfast, - is where we make most of our planets you see.\n- You mean, - said Arthur, trying to form the words, - you mean you\u2019re\nstarting it all up again now?\n- No no, good heavens no, - exclaimed the old man, - no, the Galaxy isn\u2019t\nnearly rich enough to support us yet. No, we\u2019ve been awakened to perform just\none extraordinary commission for very... special clients from another dimension.\nIt may interest you... there in the distance in front of us.\nArthur followed the old man\u2019s \ufb01nger, till he was able to pick out the \ufb02oating\nstructure he was pointing out. It was indeed the only one of the many structures", "2588929f-dd28-45b5-a72d-e84c967844b3": "105\nthat betrayed any sign of activity about it, though this was more a sublimal\nimpression than anything one could put one\u2019s \ufb01nger on.\nAt the moment however a \ufb02ash of light arced through the structure and\nrevealed in stark relief the patterns that were formed on the dark sphere within.\nPatterns that Arthur knew, rough blobby shapes that were as familiar to him\nas the shapes of words, part of the furniture of his mind. For a few seconds he\nsat in stunned silence as the images rushed around his mind and tried to \ufb01nd\nsomewhere to settle down and make sense.\nPart of his brain told him that he knew perfectly well what he was looking\nat and what the shapes represented whilst another quite sensibly refused to\ncountenance the idea and abdicated responsibility for any further thinking in\nthat direction.\nThe \ufb02ash came again, and this time there could be no doubt.\n- The Earth... - whispered Arthur.\n- Well, the Earth Mark Two in fact, - said Slartibartfast cheerfully. - We\u2019re\nmaking a copy from our original blueprints.\nThere was a pause.\n- Are you trying to tell me, - said Arthur, slowly and with control, - that\nyou originally... made the Earth?\n- Oh yes, - said Slartibartfast. - Did you ever go to a place... I think it was\ncalled Norway?\n- No, - said Arthur, - no, I didn\u2019t.\n- Pity, - said Slartibartfast, - that was one of mine. Won an award you know.\nLovely crinkly edges. I was most upset to hear about its destruction.\n- You were upset!\n- Yes. Five minutes later and it wouldn\u2019t have mattered so much. It was a\nquite shocking cock-up.\n- Huh? - said Arthur.\n- The mice were furious.\n- The mice were furious?\n- Oh yes, - said the old man mildly.\n- Yes well so I expect were the dogs and cats and duckbilled platypuses,\nbut...\n- Ah, but they hadn\u2019t paid for it you see, had they?\n- Look, - said Arthur, - would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and\nwent mad now?\nFor a while the aircar \ufb02ew on in awkward silence. Then the old man tried\npatiently to explain.\n- Earthman, the planet you lived on was commissioned, paid for, and run\nby mice. It was destroyed \ufb01ve minutes before the completion of the purpose for\nwhich it was built, and we\u2019ve got to build another one.\nOnly one word registered with Arthur.\n- Mice? - he said.\n- Indeed Earthman.\n- Look, sorry - are we talking about the little white furry things with the\ncheese \ufb01xation and women standing on tables screaming in early sixties sit coms?\nSlartibartfast coughed politely.\n- Earthman, - he said, - it is sometimes hard to follow your mode of speech.\nRemember I have been asleep inside this planet of Magrathea for \ufb01ve million\nyears and know little of these early sixties sit coms of which you speak. These", "265f7efe-42b4-4f82-a9eb-2a756e8c20b3": "106 CHAPTER 24.\ncreatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are\nmerely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyperintelligent pandimen-\nsional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a\nfront.\nThe old man paused, and with a sympathetic frown continued.\n- They\u2019ve been experimenting on you I\u2019m afraid.\nArthur thought about this for a second, and then his face cleared.\n- Ah no, - he said, - I see the source of the misunderstanding now. No, look\nyou see, what happened was that we used to do experiments on them. They\nwere often used in behavioural research, Pavlov and all that sort of stu\ufb00. So\nwhat happened was hat the mice would be set all sorts of tests, learning to ring\nbells, run around mazes and things so that the whole nature of the learning\nprocess could be examined. From our observations of their behaviour we were\nable to learn all sorts of things about our own...\nArthur\u2019s voice tailed o\ufb00.\n- Such subtlety... - said Slartibartfast, - one has to admire it.\n- What? - said Arthur.\n- How better to disguise their real natures, and how better to guide your\nthinking. Suddenly running down a maze the wrong way, eating the wrong bit\nof cheese, unexpectedly dropping dead of myxomatosis, - if it\u2019s \ufb01nely calculated\nthe cumulative e\ufb00ect is enormous.\nHe paused for e\ufb00ect.\n- You see, Earthman, they really are particularly clever hyperintelligent pan-\ndimensional beings. Your planet and people have formed the matrix of an\norganic computer running a tenmillion-year research programme...\n- Let me tell you the whole story. It\u2019ll take a little time.\n- Time, - said Arthur weakly, - is not currently one of my problems.", "c839b898-c5df-4aa3-8c0e-ce05cc8b7894": "Chapter 25\nThere are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the\nmost popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want\nto spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?\nMany many millions of years ago a race of hyperintelligent pandimensional\nbeings (whose physical manifestation in their own pan-dimensional universe is\nnot dissimilar to our own) got so fed up with the constant bickering about the\nmeaning of life which used to interrupt their favourite pastime of Brockian Ultra\nCricket (a curious game which involved suddenly hitting people for no readily\napparent reason and then running away) that they decided to sit down and solve\ntheir problems once and for all.\nAnd to this end they built themselves a stupendous super computer which\nwas so amazingly intelligent that even before the data banks had been connected\nup it had started from I think therefore I am and got as far as the existence of\nrice pudding and income tax before anyone managed to turn it o\ufb00.\nIt was the size of a small city.\nIts main console was installed in a specially designed executive o\ufb03ce, mounted\non an enormous executive desk of \ufb01nest ultramahagony topped with rich ultra-\nred leather. The dark carpeting was discreetly sumptuous, exotic pot plants\nand tastefully engraved prints of the principal computer programmers and their\nfamilies were deployed liberally about the room, and stately windows looked\nout upon a tree-lined public square.\nOn the day of the Great On-Turning two soberly dressed programmers with\nbrief cases arrived and were shown discreetly into the o\ufb03ce. They were aware\nthat this day they would represent their entire race in its greatest moment,\nbut they conducted themselves calmly and quietly as they seated themselves\ndeferentially before the desk, opened their brief cases and took out their leather-\nbound notebooks.\nTheir names were Lunkwill and Fook.\nFor a few moments they sat in respectful silence, then, after exchanging\na quiet glance with Fook, Lunkwill leaned forward and touched a small black\npanel.\nThe subtlest of hums indicated that the massive computer was now in total\nactive mode. After a pause it spoke to them in a voice rich resonant and deep.\nIt said:\n- What is this great task for which I, Deep Thought, the second greatest\ncomputer in the Universe of Time and Space have been called into existence?\nLunkwill and Fook glanced at each other in surprise.\n107", "7625cce8-ef00-42e2-a794-64ea9d8dbbc8": "108 CHAPTER 25.\n- Your task, O Computer... - began Fook.\n- No, wait a minute, this isn\u2019t right, - said Lunkwill, worried. - We distinctly\ndesigned this computer to be the greatest one ever and we\u2019re not making do\nwith second best. Deep Thought, - he addressed the computer, - are you not as\nwe designed you to be, the greatest most powerful computer in all time?\n- I described myself as the second greatest, - intoned Deep Thought, - and\nsuch I am.\nAnother worried look passed between the two programmers. Lunkwill cleared\nhis throat.\n- There must be some mistake, - he said, - are you not a greatest computer\nthan the Milliard Gargantubrain which can count all the atoms in a star in a\nmillisecond?\n- The Milliard Gargantubrain? - said Deep Thought with unconcealed con-\ntempt. - A mere abacus - mention it not.\n- And are you not, - said Fook leaning anxiously forward, - a greater analyst\nthan the Googleplex Star Thinker in the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity\nwhich can calculate the trajectory of every single dust particle throughout a\n\ufb01ve-week Dangrabad Beta sand blizzard?\n- A \ufb01ve-week sand blizzard? - said Deep Thought haughtily. - You ask this\nof me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang\nitself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stu\ufb00.\nThe two programmers sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then\nLunkwill leaned forward again.\n- But are you not, - he said, - a more \ufb01endish disputant than the Great\nHyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler of Ciceronicus 12, the Magic and\nIndefatigable?\n- The Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler, - said Deep Thought\nthoroughly rolling the r\u2019s, - could talk all four legs o\ufb00 an Arcturan MegaDonkey\n- but only I could persuade it to go for a walk afterwards.\n- Then what, - asked Fook, - is the problem?\n- There is no problem, - said Deep Thought with magni\ufb01cent ringing tones.\n- I am simply the second greatest computer in the Universe of Space and Time.\n- But the second? - insisted Lunkwill. - Why do you keep saying the second?\nYou\u2019re surely not thinking of the Multicorticoid Perspicutron Titan Muller are\nyou? Or the Pondermatic? Or the...\nContemptuous lights \ufb02ashed across the computer\u2019s console.\n- I spare not a single unit of thought on these cybernetic simpletons! - he\nboomed. - I speak of none but the computer that is to come after me!\nFook was losing patience. He pushed his notebook aside and muttered,\n- I think this is getting needlessly messianic.\n- You know nothing of future time, - pronounced Deep Thought, - and yet in\nmy teeming circuitry I can navigate the in\ufb01nite delta streams of future probabil-\nity and see that there must one day come a computer whose merest operational\nparameters I am not worthy to calculate, but which it will be my fate eventually\nto design.\nFook sighed heavily and glanced across to Lunkwill.\n- Can we get on and ask the question? - he said.\nLunkwill motioned him to wait.\n- What computer is this of which you speak? - he asked.", "3f160673-6ff6-4f4e-859b-551c3cf15045": "109\n- I will speak of it no further in this present time, - said Deep Thought. -\nNow. Ask what else of me you will that I may function. Speak.\nThey shrugged at each other. Fook composed himself.\n- O Deep Thought Computer, - he said, - the task we have designed you to\nperform is this. We want you to tell us... - he paused, - ...the Answer!\n- The answer? - said Deep Thought. - The answer to what?\n- Life! - urged Fook.\n- The Universe! - said Lunkwill.\n- Everything! - they said in chorus.\nDeep Thought paused for a moment\u2019s re\ufb02ection.\n- Tricky, - he said \ufb01nally.\n- But can you do it?\nAgain, a signi\ufb01cant pause.\n- Yes, - said Deep Thought, - I can do it.\n- There is an answer? - said Fook with breathless excitement.\n- A simple answer? - added Lunkwill.\n- Yes, - said Deep Thought. - Life, the Universe, and Everything. There is\nan answer. But, - he added, - I\u2019ll have to think about it.\nA sudden commotion destroyed the moment: the door \ufb02ew open and two\nangry men wearing the coarse faded-blue robes and belts of the Cruxwan Uni-\nversity burst into the room, thrusting aside the ine\ufb00ectual \ufb02unkies who tried to\nbar their way.\n- We demand admission! - shouted the younger of the two men elbowing a\npretty young secretary in the throat.\n- Come on, - shouted the older one, - you can\u2019t keep us out! - He pushed a\njunior programmer back through the door.\n- We demand that you can\u2019t keep us out! - bawled the younger one, though\nhe was now \ufb01rmly inside the room and no further attempts were being made to\nstop him.\n- Who are you? - said Lunkwill, rising angrily from his seat. - What do you\nwant?\n- I am Majikthise! - announced the older one.\n- And I demand that I am Vroomfondel! - shouted the younger one.\nMajikthise turned on Vroomfondel.\n- It\u2019s alright, - he explained angrily, - you don\u2019t need to demand that.\n- Alright! - bawled Vroomfondel banging on an nearby desk. - I am Vroom-\nfondel, and that is not a demand, that is a solid fact! What we demand is solid\nfacts!\n- No we don\u2019t! - exclaimed Majikthise in irritation. - That is precisely what\nwe don\u2019t demand!\nScarcely pausing for breath, Vroomfondel shouted,\n- We don\u2019t demand solid facts! What we demand is a total absence of solid\nfacts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel!\n- But who the devil are you? - exclaimed an outraged Fook.\n- We, - said Majikthise, - are Philosophers.\n- Though we may not be, - said Vroomfondel waving a warning \ufb01nger at the\nprogrammers.\n- Yes we are, - insisted Majikthise. - We are quite de\ufb01nitely here as repre-\nsentatives of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and\nOther Thinking Persons, and we want this machine o\ufb00, and we want it o\ufb00 now!", "17d9d933-8c3e-4ae3-9c20-dc8531d33e3d": "110 CHAPTER 25.\n- What\u2019s the problem? - said Lunkwill.\n- I\u2019ll tell you what the problem is mate, - said Majikthise, - demarcation,\nthat\u2019s the problem!\n- We demand, - yelled Vroomfondel, - that demarcation may or may not be\nthe problem!\n- You just let the machines get on with the adding up, - warned Majikthise,\n- and we\u2019ll take care of the eternal verities thank you very much. You want\nto check your legal position you do mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate\nTruth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any\nbloody machine goes and actually \ufb01nds it and we\u2019re straight out of a job aren\u2019t\nwe? I mean what\u2019s the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there\nmay or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives us his bleeding\nphone number the next morning?\n- That\u2019s right! - shouted Vroomfondel, - we demand rigidly de\ufb01ned areas of\ndoubt and uncertainty!\nSuddenly a stentorian voice boomed across the room.\n- Might I make an observation at this point? - inquired Deep Thought.\n- We\u2019ll go on strike! - yelled Vroomfondel.\n- That\u2019s right! - agreed Majikthise. - You\u2019ll have a national Philosopher\u2019s\nstrike on your hands!\nThe hum level in the room suddenly increased as several ancillary bass driver\nunits, mounted in sedately carved and varnished cabinet speakers around the\nroom, cut in to give Deep Thought\u2019s voice a little more power.\n- All I wanted to say, - bellowed the computer, - is that my circuits are now\nirrevocably committed to calculating the answer to the Ultimate Question of\nLife, the Universe, and Everything - he paused and satis\ufb01ed himself that he now\nhad everyone\u2019s attention, before continuing more quietly, - but the programme\nwill take me a little while to run.\nFook glanced impatiently at his watch.\n- How long? - he said.\n- Seven and a half million years, - said Deep Thought.\nLunkwill and Fook blinked at each other.\n- Seven and a half million years!.. - they cried in chorus.\n- Yes, - declaimed Deep Thought, - I said I\u2019d have to think about it, didn\u2019t\nI? And it occurs to me that running a programme like this is bound to create\nan enormous amount of popular publicity for the whole area of philosophy in\ngeneral. Everyone\u2019s going to have their own theories about what answer I\u2019m\neventually to come up with, and who better to capitalize on that media market\nthan you yourself? So long as you can keep disagreeing with each other violently\nenough and slagging each other o\ufb00 in the popular press, you can keep yourself\non the gravy train for life. How does that sound?\nThe two philosophers gaped at him.\n- Bloody hell, - said Majikthise, - now that is what I call thinking. Here\nVroomfondel, why do we never think of things like that?\n- Dunno, - said Vroomfondel in an awed whisper, - think our brains must be\ntoo highly trained Majikthise.\nSo saying, they turned on their heels and walked out of the door and into a\nlifestyle beyond their wildest dreams.", "f7f6f872-7cc8-47e4-a3ab-3acacf789e73": "Chapter 26\n- Yes, very salutary, - said Arthur, after Slartibartfast had related the salient\npoints of the story to him, - but I don\u2019t understand what all this has got to do\nwith the Earth and mice and things.\n- That is but the \ufb01rst half of the story Earthman, - said the old man. - If\nyou would care to discover what happened seven and a half millions later, on\nthe great day of the Answer, allow me to invite you to my study where you can\nexperience the events yourself on our Sens-O-Tape records. That is unless you\nwould care to take a quick stroll on the surface of New Earth. It\u2019s only half\ncompleted I\u2019m afraid - we haven\u2019t even \ufb01nished burying the arti\ufb01cial dinosaur\nskeletons in the crust yet, then we have the Tertiary and Quarternary Periods\nof the Cenozoic Era to lay down, and...\n- No thank you, - said Arthur, - it wouldn\u2019t be quite the same.\n- No, - said Slartibartfast, - it won\u2019t be, - and he turned the aircar round\nand headed back towards the mind-numbing wall.\n111", "87089849-da43-4cc0-8610-a8b0b02680cc": "112 CHAPTER 26.", "5e10e580-b0f7-4ca1-a653-9544e5c4183a": "Chapter 27\nSlartibartfast\u2019s study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public\nlibrary. The old man frowned as they stepped in.\n- Terribly unfortunate, - he said, - a diode blew in one of the life-support\ncomputers. When we tried to revive our cleaning sta\ufb00 we discovered they\u2019d been\ndead for nearly thirty thousand years. Who\u2019s going to clear away the bodies,\nthat\u2019s what I want to know. Look why don\u2019t you sit yourself down over there\nand let me plug you in?\nHe gestured Arthur towards a chair which looked as if it had been made out\nof the rib cage of a stegosaurus.\n- It was made out of the rib cage of a stegosaurus, - explained the old man\nas he pottered about \ufb01shing bits of wire out from under tottering piles of paper\nand drawing instruments. - Here, - he said, - hold these, - and passed a couple\nof stripped wire end to Arthur.\nThe instant he took hold of them a bird \ufb02ew straight through him.\nHe was suspended in mid-air and totally invisible to himself. Beneath him\nwas a pretty treelined city square, and all around it as far as the eye could see\nwere white concrete buildings of airy spacious design but somewhat the worse\nfor wear - many were cracked and stained with rain. Today however the sun was\nshining, a fresh breeze danced lightly through the trees, and the odd sensation\nthat all the buildings were quietly humming was probably caused by the fact\nthat the square and all the streets around it were thronged with cheerful excited\npeople. Somewhere a band was playing, brightly coloured \ufb02ags were \ufb02uttering\nin the breeze and the spirit of carnival was in the air.\nArthur felt extraordinarily lonely stuck up in the air above it all without so\nmuch as a body to his name, but before he had time to re\ufb02ect on this a voice\nrang out across the square and called for everyone\u2019s attention.\nA man standing on a brightly dressed dais before the building which clearly\ndominated the square was addressing the crowd over a Tannoy.\n- O people waiting in the Shadow of Deep Thought! - he cried out. -\nHonoured Descendants of Vroomfondel and Majikthise, the Greatest and Most\nTruly Interesting Pundits the Universe has ever known... The Time of Waiting\nis over!\nWild cheers broke out amongst the crowd. Flags, streamers and wolf whistles\nsailed through the air. The narrower streets looked rather like centipedes rolled\nover on their backs and frantically waving their legs in the air.\n- Seven and a half million years our race has waited for this Great and\nHopefully Enlightening Day! - cried the cheer leader. - The Day of the Answer!\n113", "1db7f93d-8375-4290-9712-f3bd10845b91": "114 CHAPTER 27.\nHurrahs burst from the ecstatic crowd.\n- Never again, - cried the man, - never again will we wake up in the morning\nand think Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Does it really, cosmically\nspeaking, matter if I don\u2019t get up and go to work? For today we will \ufb01nally\nlearn once and for all the plain and simple answer to all these nagging little\nproblems of Life, the Universe and Everything!\nAs the crowd erupted once again, Arthur found himself gliding through the\nair and down towards one of the large stately windows on the \ufb01rst \ufb02oor of the\nbuilding behind the dais from which the speaker was addressing the crowd.\nHe experienced a moment\u2019s panic as he sailed straight through towards the\nwindow, which passed when a second or so later he found he had gone right\nthrough the solid glass without apparently touching it.\nNo one in the room remarked on his peculiar arrival, which is hardly sur-\nprising as he wasn\u2019t there. He began to realize that the whole experience was\nmerely a recorded projection which knocked six-track seventy-millimetre into a\ncocked hat.\nThe room was much as Slartibartfast had described it. In seven and a half\nmillion years it had been well looked after and cleaned regularly every century\nor so. The ultramahagony desk was worn at the edges, the carpet a little faded\nnow, but the large computer terminal sat in sparkling glory on the desk\u2019s leather\ntop, as bright as if it had been constructed yesterday.\nTwo severely dressed men sat respectfully before the terminal and waited.\n- The time is nearly upon us, - said one, and Arthur was surprised to see\na word suddenly materialize in thin air just by the man\u2019s neck. The word was\nLoonquawl, and it \ufb02ashed a couple of times and the disappeared again. Before\nArthur was able to assimilate this the other man spoke and the word Phouchg\nappeared by his neck.\n- Seventy-\ufb01ve thousand generations ago, our ancestors set this program in\nmotion, - the second man said, - and in all that time we will be the \ufb01rst to hear\nthe computer speak.\n- An awesome prospect, Phouchg, - agreed the \ufb01rst man, and Arthur sud-\ndenly realized that he was watching a recording with subtitles.\n- We are the ones who will hear, - said Phouchg, - the answer to the great\nquestion of Life!..\n- The Universe!.. - said Loonquawl.\n- And Everything!..\n- Shhh, - said Loonquawl with a slight gesture, - I think Deep Thought is\npreparing to speak!\nThere was a moment\u2019s expectant pause whilst panels slowly came to life on\nthe front of the console. Lights \ufb02ashed on and o\ufb00 experimentally and settled\ndown into a businesslike pattern. A soft low hum came from the communication\nchannel.\n- Good morning, - said Deep Thought at last.\n- Er... Good morning, O Deep Thought, - said Loonquawl nervously, - do\nyou have... er, that is...\n- An answer for you? - interrupted Deep Thought majestically. - Yes. I\nhave.\nThe two men shivered with expectancy. Their waiting had not been in vain.\n- There really is one? - breathed Phouchg.\n- There really is one, - con\ufb01rmed Deep Thought.", "970dece6-0559-41d9-a95e-2edd58b7a7ab": "115\n- To Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Every-\nthing?\n- Yes.\nBoth of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had been a\npreparation for it, they had been selected at birth as those who would witness the\nanswer, but even so they found themselves gasping and squirming like excited\nchildren.\n- And you\u2019re ready to give it to us? - urged Loonquawl.\n- I am.\n- Now?\n- Now, - said Deep Thought.\nThey both licked their dry lips.\n- Though I don\u2019t think, - added Deep Thought, - that you\u2019re going to like\nit.\n- Doesn\u2019t matter! - said Phouchg. - We must know it! Now!\n- Now? - inquired Deep Thought.\n- Yes! Now...\n- Alright, - said the computer and settled into silence again. The two men\n\ufb01dgeted. The tension was unbearable.\n- You\u2019re really not going to like it, - observed Deep Thought.\n- Tell us!\n- Alright, - said Deep Thought. - The Answer to the Great Question...\n- Yes!..\n- Of Life, the Universe and Everything... - said Deep Thought.\n- Yes!..\n- Is... - said Deep Thought, and paused.\n- Yes!..\n- Is...\n- Yes!!!?..\n- Forty-two, - said Deep Thought, with in\ufb01nite majesty and calm.", "6ab708d1-1c3b-4a0e-9d4c-92385b2feabd": "116 CHAPTER 27.", "ca298d40-f214-4a42-bcd9-9d68de96e581": "Chapter 28\nIt was a long time before anyone spoke.\nOut of the corner of his eye Phouchg could see the sea of tense expectant\nfaces down in the square outside.\n- We\u2019re going to get lynched aren\u2019t we? - he whispered.\n- It was a tough assignment, - said Deep Thought mildly.\n- Forty-two! - yelled Loonquawl. - Is that all you\u2019ve got to show for seven\nand a half million years\u2019 work?\n- I checked it very thoroughly, - said the computer, - and that quite de\ufb01nitely\nis the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you\u2019ve\nnever actually known what the question is.\n- But it was the Great Question! The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe\nand Everything! - howled Loonquawl.\n- Yes, - said Deep Thought with the air of one who su\ufb00ers fools gladly, - but\nwhat actually is it?\nA slow stupe\ufb01ed silence crept over the men as they stared at the computer\nand then at each other.\n- Well, you know, it\u2019s just Everything... Everything... - o\ufb00ered Phouchg\nweakly.\n- Exactly! - said Deep Thought. - So once you do know what the question\nactually is, you\u2019ll know what the answer means.\n- Oh terri\ufb01c, - muttered Phouchg \ufb02inging aside his notebook and wiping\naway a tiny tear.\n- Look, alright, alright, - said Loonquawl, - can you just please tell us the\nQuestion?\n- The Ultimate Question?\n- Yes!\n- Of Life, the Universe, and Everything?\n- Yes!\nDeep Thought pondered this for a moment.\n- Tricky, - he said.\n- But can you do it? - cried Loonquawl.\nDeep Thought pondered this for another long moment.\nFinally: - No, - he said \ufb01rmly.\nBoth men collapsed on to their chairs in despair.\n- But I\u2019ll tell you who can, - said Deep Thought.\nThey both looked up sharply.\n- Who?\n117", "7bbbf8f5-37fe-4528-aac4-d3d584230412": "118 CHAPTER 28.\n- Tell us!\nSuddenly Arthur began to feel his apparently non-existent scalp begin to\ncrawl as he found himself moving slowly but inexorably forward towards the\nconsole, but it was only a dramatic zoom on the part of whoever had made the\nrecording he assumed.\n- I speak of none other than the computer that is to come after me, intoned\nDeep Thought, his voice regaining its accustomed declamatory tones. - A com-\nputer whose merest operational parameters I am not worthy to calculate - and\nyet I will design it for you. A computer which can calculate the Question to\nthe Ultimate Answer, a computer of such in\ufb01nite and subtle complexity that\norganic life itself shall form part of its operational matrix. And you yourselves\nshall take on new forms and go down into the computer to navigate its ten-\nmillion-year program! Yes! I shall design this computer for you. And I shall\nname it also unto you. And it shall be called... The Earth.\nPhouchg gaped at Deep Thought.\n- What a dull name, - he said and great incisions appeared down the length\nof his body. Loonquawl too suddenly sustained horri\ufb01c gashed from nowhere.\nThe Computer console blotched and cracked, the walls \ufb02ickered and crumbled\nand the room crashed upwards into its own ceiling...\nSlartibartfast was standing in front of Arthur holding the two wires.\n- End of the tape, - he explained.", "952d5e77-c762-4564-b581-842a63558699": "Chapter 29\n- Zaphod! Wake up!\n- Mmmmmwwwwwerrrrr?\n- Hey come on, wake up.\n- Just let me stick to what I\u2019m good at, yeah? - muttered Zaphod and rolled\naway from the voice back to sleep.\n- Do you want me to kick you? - said Ford.\n- Would it give you a lot of pleasure? - said Zaphod, blearily.\n- No.\n- Nor me. So what\u2019s the point? Stop bugging me. - Zaphod curled himself\nup.\n- He got a double dose of the gas, - said Trillian looking down at him, - two\nwindpipes.\n- And stop talking, - said Zaphod, - it\u2019s hard enough trying to sleep anyway.\nWhat\u2019s the matter with the ground? It\u2019s all cold and hard.\n- It\u2019s gold, - said Ford.\nWith an amazingly balletic movement Zaphod was standing and scanning the\nhorizon, because that was how far the gold ground stretched in every direction,\nperfectly smooth and solid. It gleamed like... it\u2019s impossible to say what it\ngleamed like because nothing in the Universe gleams in quite the same way that\na planet of solid gold does.\n- Who put all that there? - yelped Zaphod, goggle-eyed.\n- Don\u2019t get excited, - said Ford, - it\u2019s only a catalogue.\n- A who?\n- A catalogue, - said Trillian, - an illusion.\n- How can you say that? - cried Zaphod, falling to his hands and knees and\nstaring at the ground. He poked it and prodded it with his \ufb01ngernail. It was\nvery heavy and very slightly soft - he could mark it with his \ufb01ngernail. It was\nvery yellow and very shiny, and when he breathed on it his breath evaporated\no\ufb00 it in that very peculiar and special way that breath evaporates o\ufb00 solid gold.\n- Trillian and I came round a while ago, - said Ford. - We shouted and yelled\ntill somebody came and then carried on shouting and yelling till they got fed\nup and put us in their planet catalogue to keep us busy till they were ready to\ndeal with us. This is all Sens-O-Tape.\nZaphod stared at him bitterly.\n- Ah, shit, - he said, - you wake me up from my own perfectly good dream\nto show me somebody else\u2019s. - He sat down in a hu\ufb00.\n- What\u2019s that series of valleys over there? - he said.\n119", "77cc2dba-bac6-417d-bf37-304e1057e858": "120 CHAPTER 29.\n- Hallmark, - said Ford. - We had a look.\n- We didn\u2019t wake you earlier, - said Trillian. - The last planet was knee deep\nin \ufb01sh.\n- Fish?\n- Some people like the oddest things.\n- And before that, - said Ford, - we had platinum. Bit dull. We thought\nyou\u2019d like to see this one though.\nSeas of light glared at them in one solid blaze wherever they looked.\n- Very pretty, - said Zaphod petulantly.\nIn the sky a huge green catalogue number appeared. It \ufb02ickered and changed,\nand when they looked around again so had the land.\nAs with one voice they all went, - Yuch.\nThe sea was purple. The beach they were on was composed of tiny yellow\nand green pebbles - presumably terribly precious stones. The mountains in the\ndistance seemed soft and undulating with red peaks. Nearby stood a solid silver\nbeach table with a frilly mauve parasol and silver tassles.\nIn the sky a huge sign appeared, replacing the catalogue number. It said,\nWhatever your tastes, Magrathea can cater for you. We are not proud.\nAnd \ufb01ve hundred entirely naked women dropped out of the sky on parachutes.\nIn a moment the scene vanished and left them in a springtime meadow full\nof cows.\n- Ow! - said Zaphod. - My brains!\n- You want to talk about it? - said Ford.\n- Yeah, OK, - said Zaphod, and all three sat down and ignored the scenes\nthat came and went around them.\n- I \ufb01gure this, - said Zaphod. - Whatever happened to my mind, I did it.\nAnd I did it in such a way that it wouldn\u2019t be detected by the government\nscreening tests. And I wasn\u2019t to know anything about it myself. Pretty crazy,\nright?\nThe other two nodded in agreement.\n- So I reckon, what\u2019s so secret that I can\u2019t let anybody know I know it, not\nthe Galactic Government, not even myself? And the answer is I don\u2019t know.\nObviously. But I put a few things together and I can begin to guess. When\ndid I decide to run for President? Shortly after the death of President Yooden\nVranx. You remember Yooden, Ford?\n- Yeah, - said Ford, - he was that guy we met when we were kids, the\nArcturan captain. He was a gas. He gave us conkers when you bust your way\ninto his megafreighter. Said you were the most amazing kid he\u2019d ever met.\n- What\u2019s all this? - said Trillian.\n- Ancient history, - said Ford, - when we were kids together on Betelgeuse.\nThe Arcturan megafreighters used to carry most of the bulky trade between the\nGalactic Centre and the outlying regions The Betelgeuse trading scouts used\nto \ufb01nd the markets and the Arcturans would supply them. There was a lot of\ntrouble with space pirates before they were wiped out in the Dordellis wars, and\nthe megafreighters had to be equipped with the most fantastic defence shields\nknown to Galactic science. They were real brutes of ships, and huge. In orbit\nround a planet they would eclipse the sun.\n- One day, young Zaphod here decides to raid one. On a tri-jet scooter\ndesigned for stratosphere work, a mere kid. I mean forget it, it was crazier than\na mad monkey. I went along for the ride because I\u2019d got some very safe money", "30815329-ad77-4418-8475-3ebbd6a2fcf0": "121\non him not doing it, and didn\u2019t want him coming back with fake evidence. So\nwhat happens? We got in his tri-jet which he had souped up into something\ntotally other, crossed three parsecs in a matter of weeks, bust our way into\na megafreighter I still don\u2019t know how, marched on to the bridge waving toy\npistols and demanded conkers. A wilder thing I have not known. Lost me a\nyear\u2019s pocket money. For what? Conkers.\n- The captain was this really amazing guy, Yooden Vranx, - said Zaphod. -\nHe gave us food, booze - stu\ufb00 from really weird parts of the Galaxy - lots of\nconkers of course, and we had just the most incredible time. Then he teleported\nus back. Into the maximum security wing of Betelgeuse state prison. He was a\ncool guy. Went on to become President of the Galaxy.\nZaphod paused.\nThe scene around them was currently plunged into gloom. Dark mists\nswirled round them and elephantine shapes lurked indistinctly in the shadows.\nThe air was occasionally rent with the sounds of illusory beings murdering other\nillusory beings. Presumably enough people must have liked this sort of thing to\nmake it a paying proposition.\n- Ford, - said Zaphod quietly.\n- Yeah?\n- Just before Yooden died he came to see me.\n- What? You never told me.\n- No.\n- What did he say? What did he come to see you about?\n- He told me about the Heart of Gold. It was his idea that I should steal it.\n- His idea?\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - and the only possible way of stealing it was to be\nat the launching ceremony.\nFord gaped at him in astonishment for a moment, and then roared with\nlaughter.\n- Are you telling me, - he said, - that you set yourself up to become President\nof the Galaxy just to steal that ship?\n- That\u2019s it, - said Zaphod with the sort of grin that would get most people\nlocked away in a room with soft walls.\n- But why? - said Ford. - What\u2019s so important about having it?\n- Dunno, - said Zaphod, - I think if I\u2019d consciously known what was so\nimportant about it and what I would need it for it would have showed up on\nthe brain screening tests and I would never have passed. I think Yooden told\nme a lot of things that are still locked away.\n- So you think you went and mucked about inside your own brain as a result\nof Yooden talking to you?\n- He was a hell of a talker.\n- Yeah, but Zaphod old mate, you want to look after yourself you know.\nZaphod shrugged.\n- I mean, don\u2019t you have any inkling of the reasons for all this? asked Ford.\nZaphod thought hard about this and doubts seemed to cross his minds.\n- No, - he said at last, - I don\u2019t seem to be letting myself into any of my\nsecrets. Still, - he added on further re\ufb02ection, - I can understand that. I wouldn\u2019t\ntrust myself further than I could spit a rat.\nA moment later, the last planet in the catalogue vanished from beneath them\nand the solid world resolved itself again.", "59f1d303-7699-41b2-b9a4-a9d2e478cd79": "122 CHAPTER 29.\nThey were sitting in a plush waiting room full of glass-top tables and design\nawards.\nA tall Magrathean man was standing in front of them.\n- The mice will see you now, - he said.", "aa0b299f-d1eb-4684-92d7-a482b77df2df": "Chapter 30\n- So there you have it, - said Slartibartfast, making a feeble and perfunctory\nattempt to clear away some of the appalling mess of his study. He picked up a\npaper from the top of a pile, but then couldn\u2019t think of anywhere else to put it,\nso he but it back on top of the original pile which promptly fell over. - Deep\nThought designed the Earth, we built it and you lived on it.\n- And the Vogons came and destroyed it \ufb01ve minutes before the program\nwas completed, - added Arthur, not unbitterly.\n- Yes, - said the old man, pausing to gaze hopelessly round the room. -\nTen million years of planning and work gone just like that. Ten million years,\nEarthman... can you conceive of that kind of time span? A galactic civilization\ncould grow from a single worm \ufb01ve times over in that time. Gone. - He paused.\n- Well that\u2019s bureaucracy for you, - he added.\n- You know, - said Arthur thoughtfully, - all this explains a lot of things. All\nthrough my life I\u2019ve had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was\ngoing on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me\nwhat it was.\n- No, - said the old man, - that\u2019s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone\nin the Universe has that.\n- Everyone? - said Arthur. - Well, if everyone has that perhaps it means\nsomething! Perhaps somewhere outside the Universe we know...\n- Maybe. Who cares? - said Slartibartfast before Arthur got too excited. -\nPerhaps I\u2019m old and tired, - he continued, - but I always think that the chances\nof \ufb01nding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing\nto do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. Look at me:\nI design coastlines. I got an award for Norway.\nHe rummaged around in a pile of debris and pulled out a large perspex block\nwith his name on it and a model of Norway moulded into it.\n- Where\u2019s the sense in that? - he said. - None that I\u2019ve been able to make\nout. I\u2019ve been doing fjords in all my life. For a \ufb02eeting moment they become\nfashionable and I get a major award.\nHe turned it over in his hands with a shrug and tossed it aside carelessly,\nbut not so carelessly that it didn\u2019t land on something soft.\n- In this replacement Earth we\u2019re building they\u2019ve given me Africa to do\nand of course I\u2019m doing it with all fjords again because I happen to like them,\nand I\u2019m old fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely baroque feel to a\ncontinent. And they tell me it\u2019s not equatorial enough. Equatorial! - He gave\na hollow laugh. - What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful\n123", "d3bdb071-a258-46c5-8bfe-e354005b41c3": "124 CHAPTER 30.\nthings of course, but I\u2019d far rather be happy than right any day.\n- And are you?\n- No. That\u2019s where it all falls down of course.\n- Pity, - said Arthur with sympathy. - It sounded like quite a good lifestyle\notherwise.\nSomewhere on the wall a small white light \ufb02ashed.\n- Come, - said Slartibartfast, - you are to meet the mice. Your arrival on\nthe planet has caused considerable excitement. It has already been hailed, so I\ngather, as the third most improbable event in the history of the Universe.\n- What were the \ufb01rst two?\n- Oh, probably just coincidences, - said Slartibartfast carelessly. He opened\nthe door and stood waiting for Arthur to follow.\nArthur glanced around him once more, and then down at himself, at the\nsweaty dishevelled clothes he had been lying in the mud in on Thursday morning.\n- I seem to be having tremendous di\ufb03culty with my lifestyle, - he muttered\nto himself.\n- I beg your pardon? - said the old man mildly.\n- Oh nothing, - said Arthur, - only joking.", "7de523fd-49ca-428d-abda-c7d93c5bf2ff": "Chapter 31\nIt is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the\nproblem is not always appreciated.\nFor instance, at the very moment that Arthur said - I seem to be having\ntremendous di\ufb03culty with my lifestyle, - a freak wormhole opened up in the\nfabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far far back in time\nacross almost in\ufb01nite reaches of space to a distant Galaxy where strange and\nwarlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.\nThe two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time.\nA dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the\nVl\u2019hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the\nG\u2019Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling\nsteam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised\nto unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile\ncreature to take back what it had said about his mother.\nThe creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment\nthe words I seem to be having tremendous di\ufb03culty with my lifestyle drifted\nacross the conference table.\nUnfortunately, in the Vl\u2019hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imag-\ninable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.\nEventually of course, after their Galaxy had been decimated over a few\nthousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake,\nand so the two opposing battle \ufb02eets settled their few remaining di\ufb00erences in\norder to launch a joint attack on our own Galaxy - now positively identi\ufb01ed as\nthe source of the o\ufb00ending remark.\nFor thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of\nspace and \ufb01nally dived screaming on to the \ufb01rst planet they came across - which\nhappened to be the Earth - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the\nentire battle \ufb02eet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.\nThose who study the complex interplay of cause and e\ufb00ect in the history of\nthe Universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are\npowerless to prevent it.\n- It\u2019s just life, - they say.\nA short aircar trip brought Arthur and the old Magrathean to a doorway.\nThey left the car and went through the door into a waiting room full of glass-\ntopped tables and perspex awards. Almost immediately, a light \ufb02ashed above\nthe door at the other side of the room and they entered.\n- Arthur! You\u2019re safe! - a voice cried.\n125", "efdd222e-9194-48f7-a1a8-8e5f32fb926a": "126 CHAPTER 31.\n- Am I? - said Arthur, rather startled. - Oh good.\nThe lighting was rather subdued and it took him a moment or so to see\nFord, Trillian and Zaphod sitting round a large table beautifully decked out\nwith exotic dishes, strange sweetmeats and bizarre fruits. They were stu\ufb03ng\ntheir faces.\n- What happened to you? - demanded Arthur.\n- Well, - said Zaphod, attacking a boneful of grilled muscle, - our guests here\nhave been gassing us and zapping our minds and being generally weird and have\nnow given us a rather nice meal to make it up to us. Here, he said hoiking out a\nlump of evil smelling meat from a bowl, - have some Vegan Rhino\u2019s cutlet. It\u2019s\ndelicious if you happen to like that sort of thing.\n- Hosts? - said Arthur. - What hosts? I don\u2019t see any...\nA small voice said,\n- Welcome to lunch, Earth creature.\nArthur glanced around and suddenly yelped.\n- Ugh! - he said. - There are mice on the table!\nThere was an awkward silence as everyone looked pointedly at Arthur.\nHe was busy staring at two white mice sitting in what looked like whisky\nglasses on the table. He heard the silence and glanced around at everyone.\n- Oh! - he said, with sudden realization. - Oh, I\u2019m sorry, I wasn\u2019t quite\nprepared for...\n- Let me introduce you, - said Trillian. - Arthur this is Benji mouse.\n- Hi, - said one of the mice. His whiskers stroked what must have been a\ntouch sensitive panel on the inside of the whisky-glass like a\ufb00air, and it moved\nforward slightly.\n- And this is Frankie mouse.\nThe other mouse said, - Pleased to meet you, - and did likewise.\nArthur gaped.\n- But aren\u2019t they...\n- Yes, - said Trillian, - they are the mice I brought with me from the Earth.\nShe looked him in the eye and Arthur thought he detected the tiniest resigned\nshrug.\n- Could you pass me that bowl of grated Arcturan Megadonkey? - she said.\nSlartibartfast coughed politely.\n- Er, excuse me, - he said.\n- Yes, thank you Slartibartfast, - said Benji mouse sharply, - you may go.\n- What? Oh... er, very well, - said the old man, slightly taken aback, - I\u2019ll\njust go and get on with some of my fjords then.\n- Ah, well in fact that won\u2019t be necessary, - said Frankie mouse. - It looks\nvery much as if we won\u2019t be needing the new Earth any longer. - He swivelled\nhis pink little eyes. - Not now that we have found a native of the planet who\nwas there seconds before it was destroyed.\n- What? - cried Slartibartfast, aghast. - You can\u2019t mean that! I\u2019ve got a\nthousand glaciers poised and ready to roll over Africa!\n- Well perhaps you can take a quick skiing holiday before you dismantle\nthem, - said Frankie, acidly.\n- Skiing holiday! - cried the old man. - Those glaciers are works of art!\nElegantly sculptured contours, soaring pinnacles of ice, deep majestic ravines!\nIt would be sacrilege to go skiing on high art!\n- Thank you Slartibartfast, - said Benji \ufb01rmly. - That will be all.", "7bc92e70-c160-43ee-8b61-b26195250406": "127\n- Yes sir, - said the old man coldly, - thank you very much. Well, goodbye\nEarthman, - he said to Arthur, - hope the lifestyle comes together.\nWith a brief nod to the rest of the company he turned and walked sadly out\nof the room.\nArthur stared after him not knowing what to say.\n- Now, - said Benji mouse, - to business.\nFord and Zaphod clinked their glasses together.\n- To business! - they said.\n- I beg your pardon? - said Benji.\nFord looked round.\n- Sorry, I thought you were proposing a toast, - he said.\nThe two mice scuttled impatiently around in their glass transports. Finally\nthey composed themselves, and Benji moved forward to address Arthur.\n- Now, Earth creature, - he said, - the situation we have in e\ufb00ect is this.\nWe have, as you know, been more or less running your planet for the last ten\nmillion years in order to \ufb01nd this wretched thing called the Ultimate Question.\n- Why? - said Arthur, sharply.\n- No - we already thought of that one, - said Frankie interrupting, - but it\ndoesn\u2019t \ufb01t the answer. Why? - Forty-Two... you see, it doesn\u2019t work.\n- No, - said Arthur, - I mean why have you been doing it?\n- Oh, I see, - said Frankie. - Well, eventually just habit I think, to be\nbrutally honest. And this is more or less the point - we\u2019re sick to the teeth with\nthe whole thing, and the prospect of doing it all over again on account of those\nwhinnet-ridden Vogons quite frankly gives me the screaming heeby jeebies, you\nknow what I mean? It was by the merest lucky chance that Benji and I \ufb01nished\nour particular job and left the planet early for a quick holiday, and have since\nmanipulated our way back to Magrathea by the good o\ufb03ces of your friends.\n- Magrathea is a gateway back to our own dimension, - put in Benji.\n- Since when, - continued his murine colleague, - we have had an o\ufb00er of a\nquite enormously fat contract to do the 5D chat show and lecture circuit back\nin our own dimensional neck of the woods, and we\u2019re very much inclined to take\nit.\n- I would, wouldn\u2019t you Ford? - said Zaphod promptingly.\n- Oh yes, - said Ford, - jump at it, like a shot.\nArthur glanced at them, wondering what all this was leading up to.\n- But we\u2019ve got to have a product you see, - said Frankie, - I mean ideally\nwe still need the Ultimate Question in some form or other.\nZaphod leaned forward to Arthur.\n- You see, - he said, - if they\u2019re just sitting there in the studio looking very\nrelaxed and, you know, just mentioning that they happen to know the Answer\nto Life, the Universe and Everything, and then eventually have to admit that\nin fact it\u2019s Forty-two, then the show\u2019s probably quite short. No follow-up, you\nsee.\n- We have to have something that sounds good, - said Benji.\n- Something that sounds good? - exclaimed Arthur. - An Ultimate Question\nthat sounds good? From a couple of mice?\nThe mice bristled.\n- Well, I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit\nof truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I\u2019m afraid where you begin\nto suspect that if there\u2019s any real truth, it\u2019s that the entire multi-dimensional", "3f45af81-3446-4bf0-978a-40f7398c2adc": "128 CHAPTER 31.\nin\ufb01nity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And\nif it comes to a choice between spending yet another ten million years \ufb01nding\nthat out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for\none could do with the exercise, - said Frankie.\n- But... - started Arthur, hopelessly.\n- Hey, will you get this, Earthman, - interrupted Zaphod. - You are a last\ngeneration product of that computer matrix, right, and you were there right up\nto the moment your planet got the \ufb01nger, yeah?\n- Er...\n- So your brain was an organic part of the penultimate con\ufb01guration of the\ncomputer programme, - said Ford, rather lucidly he thought.\n- Right? - said Zaphod.\n- Well, - said Arthur doubtfully. He wasn\u2019t aware of ever having felt an\norganic part of anything. He had always seen this as one of his problems.\n- In other words, - said Benji, steering his curious little vehicle right over to\nArthur, - there\u2019s a good chance that the structure of the question is encoded in\nthe structure of your brain - so we want to buy it o\ufb00 you.\n- What, the question? - said Arthur.\n- Yes, - said Ford and Trillian.\n- For lots of money, - said Zaphod.\n- No, no, - said Frankie, - it\u2019s the brain we want to buy.\n- What!\n- I thought you said you could just read his brain electronically, - protested\nFord.\n- Oh yes, - said Frankie, - but we\u2019d have to get it out \ufb01rst. It\u2019s got to be\nprepared.\n- Treated, - said Benji.\n- Diced.\n- Thank you, - shouted Arthur, tipping up his chair and backing away from\nthe table in horror.\n- It could always be replaced, - said Benji reasonably, - if you think it\u2019s\nimportant.\n- Yes, an electronic brain, - said Frankie, - a simple one would su\ufb03ce.\n- A simple one! - wailed Arthur.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod with a sudden evil grin, - you\u2019d just have to program\nit to say What? and I don\u2019t understand and Where\u2019s the tea? - who\u2019d know\nthe di\ufb00erence?\n- What? - cried Arthur, backing away still further.\n- See what I mean? - said Zaphod and howled with pain because of something\nthat Trillian did at that moment.\n- I\u2019d notice the di\ufb00erence, - said Arthur.\n- No you wouldn\u2019t, - said Frankie mouse, - you\u2019d be programmed not to.\nFord made for the door.\n- Look, I\u2019m sorry, mice old lads, - he said. - I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve got a deal.\n- I rather think we have to have a deal, - said the mice in chorus, all the charm\nvanishing fro their piping little voices in an instant. With a tiny whining shriek\ntheir two glass transports lifted themselves o\ufb00 the table, and swung through\nthe air towards Arthur, who stumbled further backwards into a blind corner,\nutterly unable to cope or think of anything.", "f5adb675-fe1a-4f24-9f0b-50176c0be783": "129\nTrillian grabbed him desperately by the arm and tried to drag him towards\nthe door, which Ford and Zaphod were struggling to open, but Arthur was dead\nweight - he seemed hypnotized by the airborne rodents swooping towards him.\nShe screamed at him, but he just gaped.\nWith one more yank, Ford and Zaphod got the door open. On the other side\nof it was a small pack of rather ugly men who they could only assume were the\nheavy mob of Magrathea. Not only were they ugly themselves, but the medical\nequipment they carried with them was also far from pretty. They charged.\nSo - Arthur was about to have his head cut open, Trillian was unable to help\nhim, and Ford and Zaphod were about to be set upon by several thugs a great\ndeal heavier and more sharply armed than they were.\nAll in all it was extremely fortunate that at that moment every alarm on\nthe planet burst into an earsplitting din.", "48f6a028-541d-446b-84e6-9bd651183342": "130 CHAPTER 31.", "d4441497-3fa5-4244-9e76-35a9382d5be0": "Chapter 32\n- Emergency! Emergency! - blared the klaxons throughout Magrathea. - Hostile\nship has landed on planet. Armed intruders in section 8A. Defence stations,\ndefence stations!\nThe two mice sni\ufb00ed irritably round the fragments of their glass transports\nwhere they lay shattered on the \ufb02oor.\n- Damnation, - muttered Frankie mouse, - all that fuss over two pounds of\nEarthling brain. - He scuttled round and about, his pink eyes \ufb02ashing, his \ufb01ne\nwhite coat bristling with static.\n- The only thing we can do now, - said Benji, crouching and stroking his\nwhiskers in thought, - is to try and fake a question, invent one that will sound\nplausible.\n- Di\ufb03cult, - said Frankie. He thought. - How about What\u2019s yellow and\ndangerous?\nBenji considered this for a moment.\n- No, no good, - he said. - Doesn\u2019t \ufb01t the answer.\nThey sank into silence for a few seconds.\n- Alright, - said Benji. - What do you get if you multiply six by seven?\n- No, no, too literal, too factual, - said Frankie, - wouldn\u2019t sustain the\npunters\u2019 interest.\nAgain they thought.\nThen Frankie said:\n- Here\u2019s a thought. How many roads must a man walk down?\n- Ah, - said Benji. - Aha, now that does sound promising! - He rolled the\nphrase around a little. - Yes, - he said, - that\u2019s excellent! Sounds very signi\ufb01cant\nwithout actually tying you down to meaning anything at all. How many roads\nmust a man walk down? Forty-two. Excellent, excellent, that\u2019ll fox \u2019em. Frankie\nbaby, we are made!\nThey performed a scampering dance in their excitement.\nNear them on the \ufb02oor lay several rather ugly men who had been hit about\nthe head with some heavy design awards.\nHalf a mile away, four \ufb01gures pounded up a corridor looking for a way out.\nThey emerged into a wide open-plan computer bay. They glanced about wildly.\n- Which way do you reckon Zaphod? - said Ford.\n- At a wild guess, I\u2019d say down here, - said Zaphod, running o\ufb00 down to the\nright between a computer bank and the wall. As the others started after him\nhe was brought up short by a Kill-O-Zap energy bolt that cracked through the\nair inches in front of him and fried a small section of adjacent wall.\n131", "db50587d-8c68-4c68-9040-16b9e40435ed": "132 CHAPTER 32.\nA voice on a loud hailer said,\n- OK Beeblebrox, hold it right there. We\u2019ve got you covered.\n- Cops! - hissed Zaphod, and span around in a crouch. - You want to try a\nguess at all, Ford?\n- OK, this way, - said Ford, and the four of them ran down a gangway\nbetween two computer banks.\nAt the end of the gangway appeared a heavily armoured and spacesuited\n\ufb01gure waving a vicious Kill-O-Zap gun.\n- We don\u2019t want to shoot you, Beeblebrox! - shouted the \ufb01gure.\n- Suits me \ufb01ne! - shouted Zaphod back and dived down a wide gap between\ntwo data process units.\nThe others swerved in behind him.\n- There are two of them, - said Trillian. - We\u2019re cornered.\nThey squeezed themselves down in an angle between a large computer data\nbank and the wall.\nThey held their breath and waited.\nSuddenly the air exploded with energy bolts as both the cops opened \ufb01re on\nthem simultaneously.\n- Hey, they\u2019re shooting at us, - said Arthur, crouching in a tight ball, - I\nthought they said they didn\u2019t want to do that.\n- Yeah, I thought they said that, - agreed Ford.\nZaphod stuck a head up for a dangerous moment.\n- Hey, - he said, - I thought you said you didn\u2019t want to shoot us! - and\nducked again.\nThey waited.\nAfter a moment a voice replied, - It isn\u2019t easy being a cop!\n- What did he say? - whispered Ford in astonishment.\n- He said it isn\u2019t easy being a cop.\n- Well surely that\u2019s his problem isn\u2019t it?\n- I\u2019d have thought so.\nFord shouted out,\n- Hey listen! I think we\u2019ve got enough problems on our own having you\nshooting at us, so if you could avoid laying your problems on us as well, I think\nwe\u2019d all \ufb01nd it easier to cope!\nAnother pause, and then the loud hailer again.\n- Now see here, guy, - said the voice on the loud hailer, - you\u2019re not dealing\nwith any dumb two-bit trigger-pumping morons with low hairlines, little piggy\neyes and no conversation, we\u2019re a couple of intelligent caring guys that you\u2019d\nprobably quite like if you met us socially! I don\u2019t go around gratuitously shoot-\ning people and then bragging about it afterwards in seedy space-rangers bars,\nlike some cops I could mention! I go around shooting people gratuitously and\nthen I agonize about it afterwards for hours to my girlfriend!\n- And I write novels! - chimed in the other cop. - Though I haven\u2019t had any\nof them published yet, so I better warn you, I\u2019m in a meeeean mood!\nFord\u2019s eyes popped halfway out of their sockets.\n- Who are these guys? - he said.\n- Dunno, - said Zaphod, - I think I preferred it when they were shooting.\n- So are you going to come quietly, - shouted one of the cops again, - or are\nyou going to let us blast you out?\n- Which would you prefer? - shouted Ford.", "69000c80-ee5d-4f18-a47f-0492b9583f42": "133\nA millisecond later the air about them started to fry again, as bolt after bolt\nof Kill-O-Zap hurled itself into the computer bank in front of them.\nThe fusillade continued for several seconds at unbearable intensity.\nWhen it stopped, there were a few seconds of near quietness ad the echoes\ndied away.\n- You still there? - called one of the cops.\n- Yes, - they called back.\n- We didn\u2019t enjoy doing that at all, - shouted the other cop.\n- We could tell, - shouted Ford.\n- Now, listen to this, Beeblebrox, and you better listen good!\n- Why? - shouted Back Zaphod.\n- Because, - shouted the cop, - it\u2019s going to be very intelligent, and quite\ninteresting and humane! Now either you all give yourselves up now and let\nus beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are \ufb01rmly\nopposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possibly one\nor two others we noticed on our way out here!\n- But that\u2019s crazy! - cried Trillian. - You wouldn\u2019t do that!\n- Oh yes we would, - shouted the cop, - wouldn\u2019t we? - he asked the other\none.\n- Oh yes, we\u2019d have to, no question, - the other one called back.\n- But why? - demanded Trillian.\n- Because there are some things you have to do even if you are an enlightened\nliberal cop who knows all about sensitivity and everything!\n- I just don\u2019t believe these guys, - muttered Ford, shaking his head.\nOne cop shouted to the other:\n- Shall we shoot them again for a bit?\n- Yeah, why not?\nThey let \ufb02y another electric barrage.\nThe heat and noise was quite fantastic. Slowly, the computer bank was\nbeginning to disintegrate. The front had almost all melted away, and thick\nrivulets of molten metal were winding their way back towards where they were\nsquatting. They huddled further back and waited for the end.", "17e8a938-6738-4b92-987d-971ffa1333f3": "134 CHAPTER 32.", "1ad101a4-b01f-4129-a95e-d211345bd458": "Chapter 33\nBut the end never came, at least not then.\nQuite suddenly the barrage stopped, and the sudden silence afterwards was\npunctuated by a couple of strangled gurgles and thuds.\nThe four stared at each other.\n- What happened? - said Arthur.\n- They stopped, - said Zaphod with a shrug.\n- Why?\n- Dunno, do you want to go and ask them?\n- No.\nThey waited.\n- Hello? - called out Ford.\nNo answer.\n- That\u2019s odd.\n- Perhaps it\u2019s a trap.\n- They haven\u2019t the wit.\n- What were those thuds?\n- Dunno.\nThey waited for a few more seconds.\n- Right, - said Ford, - I\u2019m going to have a look.\nHe glanced round at the others.\n- Is no one going to say, No you can\u2019t possibly, let me go instead?\nThey all shook their heads.\n- Oh well, - he said, and stood up.\nFor a moment, nothing happened.\nThen, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. Ford peered\nthrough the thick smoke that was billowing out of the burning computer.\nCautiously he stepped out into the open.\nStill nothing happened.\nTwenty yards away he could dimly see through the smoke the space-suited\n\ufb01gure of one of the cops. He was lying in a crumpled heap on the ground. Twenty\nyards in the other direction lay the second man. No one else was anywhere to\nbe seen.\nThis struck Ford as being extremely odd.\nSlowly, nervously, he walked towards the \ufb01rst one. The body lay reassuringly\nstill as he approached it, and continued to lie reassuringly still as he reached it\nand put his foot down on the Kill-O-Zap gun that still dangled from its limp\n\ufb01ngers.\n135", "98c9a907-e02c-4a8c-a8e9-487266072730": "136 CHAPTER 33.\nHe reached down and picked it up, meeting no resistance.\nThe cop was quite clearly dead.\nA quick examination revealed him to be from Blagulon Kappa - he was a\nmethane-breathing life form, dependent on his space suit for survival in the thin\noxygen atmosphere of Magrathea.\nThe tiny life-support system computer on his backpack appeared unexpect-\nedly to have blown up.\nFord poked around in it in considerable astonishment. These miniature suit\ncomputers usually had the full back-up of the main computer back on the ship,\nwith which they were directly linked through the sub-etha. Such a system was\nfail-safe in all circumstances other than total feedback malfunction, which was\nunheard of.\nHe hurried over to the other prone \ufb01gure, and discovered that exactly the\nsame impossible thing had happened to him, presumably simultaneously.\nHe called the others over to look. They came, shared his astonishment, but\nnot his curiosity.\n- Let\u2019s get shot out of this hole, - said Zaphod. - If whatever I\u2019m supposed\nto be looking for is here, I don\u2019t want it. - He grabbed the second Kill-O-Zap\ngun, blasted a perfectly harmless accounting computer and rushed out into the\ncorridor, followed by the others. He very nearly blasted hell out of an aircar\nthat stood waiting for them a few yards away.\nThe aircar was empty, but Arthur recognized it as belonging to Slartibart-\nfast.\nIt had a note from him pinned to part of its sparse instrument panel. The\nnote had an arrow drawn on it, pointing at one of the controls.\nIt said, This is probably the best button to press.", "f704f09c-06ea-469a-bade-4ce0414aa9c3": "Chapter 34\nThe aircar rocketed them at speeds in excess of R17 through the steel tunnels\nthat lead out onto the appalling surface of the planet which was now in the\ngrip of yet another drear morning twilight. Ghastly grey lights congealed on\nthe land.\nR is a velocity measure, de\ufb01ned as a reasonable speed of travel that is con-\nsistent with health, mental wellbeing and not being more than say \ufb01ve minutes\nlate. It is therefore clearly an almost in\ufb01nitely variable \ufb01gure according to cir-\ncumstances, since the \ufb01rst two factors vary not only with speed taken as an\nabsolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tran-\nquility this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers and even death.\nR17 is not a \ufb01xed velocity, but it is clearly far too fast.\nThe aircar \ufb02ung itself through the air at R17 and above, deposited them next\nto the Heart of Gold which stood starkly on the frozen ground like a bleached\nbone, and then precipitately hurled itself back in the direction whence they had\ncome, presumably on important business of its own.\nShivering, the four of them stood and looked at the ship.\nBeside it stood another one.\nIt was the Blagulon Kappa policecraft, a bulbous sharklike a\ufb00air, slate green\nin colour and smothered with black stencilled letters of varying degrees of size\nand unfriendliness. The letters informed anyone who cared to read them as\nto where the ship was from, what section of the police it was assigned to, and\nwhere the power feeds should be connected.\nIt seemed somehow unnaturally dark and silent, even for a ship whose two-\nman crew was at that moment lying asphyxicated in a smoke-\ufb01lled chamber\nseveral miles beneath the ground. It is one of those curious things that is\nimpossible to explain or de\ufb01ne, but one can sense when a ship is completely\ndead.\nFord could sense it and found it most mysterious - a ship and two policemen\nseemed to have gone spontaneously dead. In his experience the Universe simply\ndidn\u2019t work like that.\nThe other three could sense it too, but they could sense the bitter cold even\nmore and hurried back into the Heart of Gold su\ufb00ering from an acute attack of\nno curiosity.\nFord stayed, and went to examine the Blagulon ship. As he walked, he nearly\ntripped over an inert steel \ufb01gure lying face down in the cold dust.\n- Marvin! - he exclaimed. - What are you doing?\n- Don\u2019t feel you have to take any notice of me, please, - came a mu\ufb04ed\n137", "44a0902b-12ea-479a-a8e8-4d9b53eb86fa": "138 CHAPTER 34.\ndrone.\n- But how are you, metalman? - said Ford.\n- Very depressed.\n- What\u2019s up?\n- I don\u2019t know, - said Marvin, - I\u2019ve never been there.\n- Why, - said Ford squatting down beside him and shivering, - are you lying\nface down in the dust?\n- It\u2019s a very e\ufb00ective way of being wretched, - said Marvin. - Don\u2019t pretend\nyou want to talk to me, I know you hate me.\n- No I don\u2019t.\n- Yes you do, everybody does. It\u2019s part of the shape of the Universe. I only\nhave to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Even robots hate me. If\nyou just ignore me I expect I shall probably go away.\nHe jacked himself up to his feet and stood resolutely facing the opposite\ndirection.\n- That ship hated me, - he said dejectedly, indicating the policecraft.\n- That ship? - said Ford in sudden excitement. - What happened to it? Do\nyou know?\n- It hated me because I talked to it.\n- You talked to it? - exclaimed Ford. - What do you mean you talked to it?\n- Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in\nto its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and\nexplained my view of the Universe to it, - said Marvin.\n- And what happened? - pressed Ford.\n- It committed suicide, - said Marvin and stalked o\ufb00 back to the Heart of\nGold.", "d40a358f-acba-4b72-bea8-11589e8ad7da": "Chapter 35\nThat night, as the Heart of Gold was busy putting a few light years between\nitself and the Horsehead Nebula, Zaphod lounged under the small palm tree\non the bridge trying to bang his brain into shape with massive Pan Galactic\nGargle Blasters; Ford and Trillian sat in a corner discussing life and matters\narising from it; and Arthur took to his bed to \ufb02ip through Ford\u2019s copy of The\nHitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy. Since he was going to live in the place, he\nreasoned, he\u2019d better start \ufb01nding out something about it.\nHe came across this entry.\nIt said:\n- The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through\nthree distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophisti-\ncation, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.\n- For instance, the \ufb01rst phase is characterized by the question How can we\neat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question\nWhere shall we have lunch?\nHe got no further before the ship\u2019s intercom buzzed into life.\n- Hey Earthman? You hungry kid? - said Zaphod\u2019s voice.\n- Er, well yes, a little peckish I suppose, - said Arthur.\n- OK baby, hold tight, - said Zaphod. - We\u2019ll take in a quick bite at the\nRestaurant at the End of the Universe.\n139", "65ea0ed1-9c76-48a2-9de5-3f74284c5182": "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Book\n2\nDouglas Adams", "5aae59d2-eefb-47af-9565-987f2ac12ae5": "2\nTransferred from plain text to PDF by JustChecking/Josef", "e0cda932-045c-4329-8dd4-d04a06fd4bfa": "3\nTo Jaine and James with many thanks\nto Geo\ufb00rey Perkins for achieving the Improbable\nto Paddy Kingsland, Lisa Braun and Alick Hale Munro for helping him\nto John Lloyd for his help with the original Milliways script\nto Simon Brett for starting the whole thing o\ufb00 to the Paul Simon\nalbum One Trick Pony which I played incessantly while writing\nthis book. Five years is far too long\nAnd with very special thanks to Jacqui Graham for in\ufb01nite\npatience, kindness and food in adversity", "a9681d2f-c53d-4b7f-816e-ee32720ccccf": "4", "94d580f5-64a0-41b9-8cf1-d522e337afe3": "Contents\n0 7\n1 9\n2 11\n3 17\n4 25\n5 27\n6 31\n7 39\n8 43\n9 47\n10 51\n11 55\n12 57\n13 63\n14 65\n15 69\n16 71\n17 77\n18 87\n19 93\n20 95\n5", "9fe13981-26d7-43d5-a218-e7bfc05fec22": "6 CONTENTS\n21 99\n22 105\n23 109\n24 113\n25 121\n26 123\n27 127\n28 129\n29 131\n30 137\n31 141\n32 143\n33 151\n34 157", "a132f23e-58ac-4bca-bd32-1451ab0c6ecb": "Chapter 0\nThere is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the\nUniverse is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by\nsomething even more bizarre and inexplicable.\nThere is another theory which states that this has already happened.\n7", "a965bbec-b5e2-407e-b9de-eba2ffb71e0c": "8 CHAPTER 0.", "bc740d0c-f9e6-4048-a74e-9398ba4a7796": "Chapter 1\nThe story so far:\nIn the beginning the Universe was created.\nThis has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad\nmove.\nMany races believe that it was created by some sort of God, though the\nJatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in fact\nsneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure.\nThe Jatravartids, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Coming\nof The Great White Handkerchief, are small blue creatures with more than \ufb01fty\narms each, who are therefore unique in being the only race in history to have\ninvented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.\nHowever, the Great Green Arkleseizure Theory is not widely accepted out-\nside Viltvodle VI and so, the Universe being the puzzling place it is, other\nexplanations are constantly being sought.\nFor instance, a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings once built\nthemselves a gigantic supercomputer called Deep Thought to calculate once\nand for all the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and\nEverything.\nFor seven and a half million years, Deep Thought computed and calculated,\nand in the end announced that the answer was in fact Forty-two - and so another,\neven bigger, computer had to be built to \ufb01nd out what the actual question was.\nAnd this computer, which was called the Earth, was so large that it was\nfrequently mistaken for a planet - especially by the strange ape-like beings who\nroamed its surface, totally unaware that they were simply part of a gigantic\ncomputer program.\nAnd this is very odd, because without that fairly simple and obvious piece\nof knowledge, nothing that ever happened on the Earth could possibly make the\nslightest bit of sense.\nSadly however, just before the critical moment of readout, the Earth was\nunexpectedly demolished by the Vogons to make way - so they claimed - for a\nnew hyperspace bypass, and so all hope of discovering a meaning for life was\nlost for ever.\nOr so it would seem.\nTwo of there strange, ape-like creatures survived.\nArthur Dent escaped at the very last moment because an old friend of his,\nFord Prefect, suddenly turned out to be from a small planet in the vicinity of\nBetelgeuse and not from Guildford as he had hitherto claimed; and, more to the\n9", "4c61b9f8-7c00-4281-86dd-b7986f3693ec": "10 CHAPTER 1.\npoint, he knew how to hitch rides on \ufb02ying saucers.\nTricia McMillian - or Trillian - had skipped the planet six months earlier\nwith Zaphod Beeblebrox, the then President of the Galaxy.\nTwo survivors.\nThey are all that remains of the greatest experiment ever conducted - to\n\ufb01nd the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe, and\nEverything.\nAnd, less than half a million miles from where their starship is drifting lazily\nthrough the inky blackness of space, a Vogon ship is moving slowly towards\nthem.", "84591f49-76d3-40cd-99c7-e8ffc92e02ff": "Chapter 2\nLike all Vogon ships it looked as if it had been not so much designed as congealed.\nThe unpleasant yellow lumps and edi\ufb01ces which protuded from it at unsightly\nangles would have dis\ufb01gured the looks of most ships, but in this case that was\nsadly impossible. Uglier things have been spotted in the skies, but not by\nreliable witnesses.\nIn fact to see anything much uglier than a Vogon ship you would have to go\ninside and look at a Vogon. If you are wise, however, this is precisely what you\nwill avoid doing because the average Vogon will not think twice before doing\nsomething so pointlessly hideous to you that you will wish you had never been\nborn - or (if you are a clearer minded thinker) that the Vogon had never been\nborn.\nIn fact, the average Vogon probably wouldn\u2019t even think once. They are\nsimple-minded, thick-willed, slug-brained creatures, and thinking is not really\nsomething they are cut out for. Anatomical analysis of the Vogon reveals that\nits brain was originally a badly deformed, misplaced and dyspeptic liver. The\nfairest thing you can say about them, then, is that they know what they like,\nand what they like generally involves hurting people and, wherever possible,\ngetting very angry.\nOne thing they don\u2019t like is leaving a job un\ufb01nished - particularly this Vogon,\nand particularly - for various reasons - this job.\nThis Vogon was Captain Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace\nPlanning Council, and he was it who had had the job of demolishing the so-called\n\u201dplanet\u201d Earth.\nHe heaved his monumentally vile body round in his ill-\ufb01tting, slimy seat\nand stared at the monitor screen on which the starship Heart of Gold was being\nsystematically scanned.\nIt mattered little to him that the Heart of Gold, with its In\ufb01nite Improbabil-\nity Drive, was the most beautiful and revolutionary ship ever built. Aesthetics\nand technology were closed books to him and, had he had his way, burnt and\nburied books as well.\nIt mattered even less to him that Zaphod Beeblebrox was aboard. Zaphod\nBeeblebrox was now the ex-President of the Galaxy, and though every police\nforce in the Galaxy was currently pursuing both him and this ship he had stolen,\nthe Vogon was not interested.\nHe had other \ufb01sh to fry.\nIt has been said that Vogons are not above a little bribery and corruption\nin the same way that the sea is not above the clouds, and this was certainly\n11", "a9d9918d-10c1-4b58-8530-6fded0059fa5": "12 CHAPTER 2.\ntrue in his case. When he heard the words \u201dintegrity\u201d or \u201dmoral rectitude\u201d, he\nreached for his dictionary, and when he heard the chink of ready money in large\nquantities he reached for the rule book and threw it away.\nIn seeking so implacably the destruction of the Earth and all that therein\nlay he was moving somewhat above and beyond the call of his professional duty.\nThere was even some doubt as to whether the said bypass was actually going\nto be built, but the matter had been glossed over.\nHe grunted a repellent grunt of satisfaction.\n- Computer, - he croaked, - get me my brain care specialist on the line.\nWithin a few seconds the face of Gag Halfrunt appeared on the screen,\nsmiling the smile of a man who knew he was ten light years away from the\nVogon face he was looking at. Mixed up somewhere in the smile was a glint\nof irony too. Though the Vogon persistently referred to him as \u201dmy private\nbrain care specialist\u201d there was not a lot of brain to take care of, and it was in\nfact Halfrunt who was employing the Vogon. He was paying him an awful lot\nof money to do some very dirty work. As one of the Galaxy\u2019s most prominent\nand successful psychiatrists, he and a consortium of his colleagues were quite\nprepared to spend an awful lot of money when it seemed that the entire future\nof psychiatry might be at stake.\n- Well, - he said, - hello my Captain of Vogons Prostetnic, and how are we\nfeeling today?\nThe Vogon captain told him that in the last few hours he had wiped out\nnearly half his crew in a disciplinary exercise.\nHalfrunt\u2019s smile did not \ufb02icker for an instant.\n- Well, - he said, - I think this is perfectly normal behaviour for a Vogon,\nyou know? The natural and healthy channelling of the aggressive instincts into\nacts of senseless violence.\n- That, - rumbled the Vogon, - is what you always say.\n- Well again, - said Halfrunt, - I think that this is perfectly normal behaviour\nfor a psychiatrist. Good. We are clearly both very well adjusted in our mental\nattitudes today. Now tell me, what news of the mission?\n- We have located the ship.\n- Wonderful, - said Halfrunt, - wonderful! and the occupants?\n- The Earthman is there.\n- Excellent! And?..\n- A female from the same planet. They are the last.\n- Good, good, - beamed Halfrunt, - Who else?\n- The man Prefect.\n- Yes?\n- And Zaphod Beeblebrox.\nFor an instant Halfrunt\u2019s smile \ufb02ickered.\n- Ah yes, - he said, - I had been expecting this. It is most regrettable.\n- A personal friend? - inquired the Vogon, who had heard the expression\nsomewhere once and decided to try it out.\n- Ah, no, - said Halfrunt, - in my profession you know, we do not make\npersonal friends.\n- Ah, - grunted the Vogon, - professional detachment.\n- No, - said Halfrunt cheerfully, - we just don\u2019t have the knack.\nHe paused. His mouth continued to smile, but his eyes frowned slightly.", "a78842f2-3795-4e37-be0b-90db46899ead": "13\n- But Beeblebrox, you know, - he said, - he is one of my most pro\ufb01table\nclients. He had personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.\nHe toyed with this thought a little before reluctantly dismissing it.\n- Still, - he said, - you are ready for your task?\n- Yes.\n- Good. Destroy the ship immediately.\n- What about Beeblebrox?\n- Well, - said Halfrunt brightly, - Zaphod\u2019s just this guy, you know?\nHe vanished from the screen.\nThe Vogon Captain pressed a communicator button which connected him\nwith the remains of his crew.\n- Attack, - he said.\nAt that precise moment Zaphod Beeblebrox was in his cabin swearing very\nloudly. Two hours ago, he had said that they would go for a quick bite at the\nRestaurant at the End of the Universe, whereupon he had had a blazing row\nwith the ship\u2019s computer and stormed o\ufb00 to his cabin shouting that he would\nwork out the Improbability factors with a pencil.\nThe Heart of Gold\u2019s Improbability Drive made it the most powerful and\nunpredictable ship in existence. There was nothing it couldn\u2019t do, provided you\nknew exactly how improbable it was that the thing you wanted it to do would\never happen.\nHe had stolen it when, as President, he was meant to be launching it. He\ndidn\u2019t know exactly why he had stolen it, except that he liked it.\nHe didn\u2019t know why he had become President of the Galaxy, except that it\nseemed a fun thing to be.\nHe did know that there were better reasons than these, but that they were\nburied in a dark, locked o\ufb00 section of his two brains. He wished the dark, locked\no\ufb00 section of his two brains would go away because they occasionally surfaced\nmomentarily and put strange thoughts into the light, fun sections of his mind\nand tried to de\ufb02ect him from what he saw as being the basic business of his life,\nwhich was to have a wonderfully good time.\nAt the moment he was not having a wonderfully good time. He had run out\nof patience and pencils and was feeling very hungry.\n- Starpox! - he shouted.\nAt that same precise moment, Ford Prefect was in mid air. This was not\nbecause of anything wrong with the ship\u2019s arti\ufb01cial gravity \ufb01eld, but because\nhe was leaping down the stair-well which led to the ship\u2019s personal cabins. It\nwas a very high jump to do in one bound and he landed awkwardly, stumbled,\nrecovered, raced down the corridor sending a couple of miniature service robots\n\ufb02ying, skidded round the corner, burst into Zaphod\u2019s door and explained what\nwas on his mind.\n- Vogons, - he said.\nA short while before this, Arthur Dent had set out from his cabin in search of\na cup of tea. It was not a quest he embarked upon with a great deal of optimism.,\nbecause he knew that the only source of hot drinks on the entire ship was a\nbenighted piece of equipment produced by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.\nIt was called a Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesizer, and he had encountered it before.\nIt claimed to produce the widest possible range of drinks personally matched\nto the tastes and metabolism of whoever cared to use it. When put to the test,", "78df8408-d09a-498c-9543-6576180e1131": "14 CHAPTER 2.\nhowever, it invariably produced a plastic cup \ufb01lled with a liquid that was almost,\nbut nit quite, entirely unlike tea.\nHe attempted to reason with the thing.\n- Tea, - he said.\n- Share and Enjoy, - the machine replied and provided him with yet another\ncup of the sickly liquid.\nHe threw it away.\n- Share and enjoy, - the machine repeated and provided him with another\none.\n\u201dShare and Enjoy\u201d is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius\nCybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land\nmasses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation\nto have shown a consistent pro\ufb01t in recent years.\nThe motto stands - or rather stood - in three mile high illuminated letters\nnear the Complaints Department spaceport on Eadrax. Unfortunately its weight\nwas such that shortly after it was erected, the ground beneath the letters caved\nin and they dropped for nearly half their length through the o\ufb03ces of many\ntalented young complaints executives - now deceased.\nThe protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language,\nto read \u201dGo stick your head in a pig\u201d, and are no longer illuminated, except at\ntimes of special celebration.\nArthur threw away a sixth cup of the liquid.\n- Listen, you machine, - he said, - you claim you can synthesize any drink in\nexistence, so why do you keep giving me the same undrinkable stu\ufb00?\n- Nutrition and pleasurable sense data, - burbled the machine. - Share and\nEnjoy.\n- It tastes \ufb01lthy!\n- If you have enjoyed the experience of this drink, - continued the machine,\n- why not share it with your friends?\n- Because, - said Arthur tartly, - I want to keep them. Will you try to\ncomprehend what I\u2019m telling you? That drink...\n- That drink, - said the machine sweetly, - was individually tailored to meet\nyour personal requirements for nutrition and pleasure.\n- Ah, - said Arthur, - so I\u2019m a masochist on diet am I?\n- Share and Enjoy.\n- Oh shut up.\n- Will that be all?\nArthur decided to give up.\n- Yes, - he said.\nThen he decided he\u2019d be dammed if he\u2019d give up.\n- No, - he said, - look, it\u2019s very, very simple... all I want... is a cup of tea.\nYou are going to make one for me. Keep quiet and listen.\nAnd he sat. He told the Nutri-Matic about India, he told it about China,\nhe told it about Ceylon. He told it about broad leaves drying in the sun. He\ntold it about silver teapots. He told it about summer afternoons on the lawn.\nHe told it about putting in the milk before the tea so it wouldn\u2019t get scalded.\nHe even told it (brie\ufb02y) about the history of the East India Company.\n- So that\u2019s it, is it? - said the Nutri-Matic when he had \ufb01nished.\n- Yes, - said Arthur, - that is what I want.\n- You want the taste of dried leaves boiled in water?", "5819a822-597c-42a8-ae21-b7eff5395682": "15\n- Er, yes. With milk.\n- Squirted out of a cow?\n- Well, in a manner of speaking I suppose...\n- I\u2019m going to need some help with this one, - said the machine tersely. All\nthe cheerful burbling had dropped out of its voice and it now meant business.\n- Well, anything I can do, - said Arthur.\n- You\u2019ve done quite enough, - the Nutri-Matic informed him.\nIt summoned up the ship\u2019s computer.\n- Hi there! - said the ship\u2019s computer.\nThe Nutri-Matic explained about tea to the ship\u2019s computer. The computer\nboggled, linked logic circuits with the Nutri-Matic and together they lapsed into\na grim silence.\nArthur watched and waited for a while, but nothing further happened.\nHe thumped it, but still nothing happened.\nEventually he gave up and wandered up to the bridge.\nIn the empty wastes of space, the Heart of Gold hung still. Around it blazed\nthe billion pinpricks of the Galaxy. Towards it crept the ugly yellow lump of\nthe Vogon ship.", "a6f80dc3-9655-4990-a7cd-d56f1d57979d": "16 CHAPTER 2.", "ce6b085c-3c06-4e2f-87f9-c9a98391eb3d": "Chapter 3\n- Does anyone have a kettle? - Arthur asked as he walked on to the bridge, and\ninstantly began to wonder why Trillian was yelling at the computer to talk to\nher, Ford was thumping it and Zaphod was kicking it, and also why there was\na nasty yellow lump on the vision screen.\nHe put down the empty cup he was carrying and walked over to them.\n- Hello? - he said.\nAt that moment Zaphod \ufb02ung himself over to the polished marble surfaces\nthat contained the instruments that controlled the conventional photon drive.\nThey materialized beneath his hands and he \ufb02ipped over to manual control. He\npushed, he pulled, he pressed and he swore. The photon drive gave a sickly\njudder and cut out again.\n- Something up? - said Arthur.\n- Hey, didja hear that? - muttered Zaphod as he leapt now for the manual\ncontrols of the In\ufb01nite Improbability Drive, - the monkey spoke!\nThe Improbability Drive gave two small whines and then also cut out. -\nPure history, man, - said Zaphod, kicking the Improbability Drive, - a talking\nmonkey!\n- If you\u2019re upset about something... - said Arthur.\n- Vogons! - snapped Ford, - we\u2019re under attack!\nArthur gibbered. - Well what are you doing? Let\u2019s get out of here!\n- Can\u2019t. Computer\u2019s jammed.\n- Jammed?\n- It says all its circuits are occupied. There\u2019s no power anywhere in the ship.\nFord moved away from the computer terminal, wiped a sleeve across his\nforehead and slumped back against the wall.\n- Nothing we can do, - he said. He glared at nothing and bit his lip.\nWhen Arthur had been a boy at school, long before the Earth had been\ndemolished, he had used to play football. He had not been at all good at it,\nand his particular speciality had been scoring own goals in important matches.\nWhenever this happened he used to experience a peculiar tingling round the\nback of his neck that would slowly creep up across his cheeks and heat his brow.\nThe image of mud and grass and lots of little jeering boys \ufb02inging it at him\nsuddenly came vividly to his mind at this moment.\nA peculiar tingling sensation at the back of his neck was creeping up across\nhis cheeks and heating his brow.\nHe started to speak, and stopped.\nHe started to speak again and stopped again.\n17", "fe5695fc-73e3-492e-94e2-dffa2067e691": "18 CHAPTER 3.\nFinally he managed to speak.\n- Er, - he said. He cleared his throat.\n- Tell me, - he continued, and said it so nervously that the others all turned\nto stare at him. He glanced at the approaching yellow blob on the vision screen.\n- Tell me, - he said again, - did the computer say what was occupying it? I\njust ask out of interest...\nTheir eyes were riveted on him.\n- And, er... well that\u2019s it really, just asking.\nZaphod put out a hand and held Arthur by the scru\ufb00 of the neck.\n- What have you done to it, Monkeyman? - he breathed.\n- Well, - said Arthur, - nothing in fact. It\u2019s just that I think a short while\nago it was trying to work out how to...\n- Yes?\n- Make me some tea.\n- That\u2019s right guys, - the computer sang out suddenly, - just coping with that\nproblem right now, and wow, it\u2019s a biggy. Be with you in a while.\u201d It lapsed\nback into a silence that was only matched for sheer intensity by the silence of\nthe three people staring at Arthur Dent.\nAs if to relieve the tension, the Vogons chose that moment to start \ufb01ring.\nThe ship shook, the ship thundered. Outside, the inch thick force-shield\naround it blistered, crackled and spat under the barrage of a dozen 30-Megahurt\nDe\ufb01nit-Kil Photrazon Cannon, and looked as if it wouldn\u2019t be around for long.\nFour minutes is how long Ford Prefect gave it.\n- Three minutes and \ufb01fty seconds, - he said a short while later.\n- Forty-\ufb01ve seconds, - he added at the appropriate time. He \ufb02icked idly at\nsome useless switches, then gave Arthur an unfriendly look.\n- Dying for a cup of tea, eh? - he said. - Three minutes and forty seconds.\n- Will you stop counting! - snarled Zaphod.\n- Yes, - said Ford Prefect, - in three minutes and thirty-\ufb01ve seconds.\nAboard the Vogon ship, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was puzzled. He had ex-\npected a chase, he had expected an exciting grapple with tractor beams, he had\nexpected to have to use the specially installed Sub-Cyclic Normality Assert-i-\nTron to counter the Heart of Gold\u2019s In\ufb01nite Improbability Drive, but the Sub-\nCyclic Normality Assert-i-Tron lay idle as the Heart of Gold just sat there and\ntook it.\nA dozen 30-Megahurt De\ufb01nit-Kil Photrazon Cannon continued to blaze away\nat the Heart of Gold, and still it just sat there and took it.\nHe tested every sensor at his disposal to see if there was any subtle trickery\nafoot, but no subtle trickery was to be found.\nHe didn\u2019t know about the tea of course.\nNor did he know exactly how the occupants of the Heart of Gold were spend-\ning the last three minutes and thirty seconds of life they had left to spend.\nQuite how Zaphod Beeblebrox arrived at the idea of holding a seance at this\npoint is something he was never quite clear on.\nObviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something to be\navoided than harped upon.\nPossibly the horror that Zaphod experienced at the prospect of being re-\nunited with his deceased relatives led on to the thought that they might just\nfeel the same way about him and, what\u2019s more, be able to do something about\nhelping to postpone this reunion.", "3bf7b114-7b28-45ac-bd54-da5e2e0cc1a4": "19\nOr again it might just have been one of the strange promptings that oc-\ncasionally surfaced from that dark area of his mind that he had inexplicably\nlocked o\ufb00 prior to becoming President of the Galaxy.\n- You want to talk to your great grandfather? - boggled Ford.\n- Yeah.\n- Does it have to be now?\nThe ship continued to shake and thunder. The temperature was rising.\nThe light was getting dimmer - all the energy the computer didn\u2019t require for\nthinking about tea was being pumped into the rapidly fading force-\ufb01eld.\n- Yeah! - insisted Zaphod. - Listen Ford, I think he may be able to help us.\n- Are you sure you mean think? Pick your words with care.\n- Suggest something else we can do.\n- Er, well...\n- OK, round the central console. Now. Come on! Trillian, Monkeyman,\nmove.\nThey clustered round the central console in confusion, sat down and, feeling\nexceptionally foolish, held hands. With his third hand Zaphod turned o\ufb00 the\nlights.\nDarkness gripped the ship.\nOutside, the thunderous roar of the De\ufb01nit-Kil cannon continued to rip at\nthe force-\ufb01eld.\n- Concentrate, - hissed Zaphod, - on his name.\n- What is it? - asked Arthur.\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.\n- What?\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!\n- The Fourth?\n- Yeah. Listen, I\u2019m Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox\nthe Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third...\n- What?\n- There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Now\nconcentrate!\n- Three minutes, - said Ford Prefect.\n- Why, - said Arthur Dent, - are we doing this?\n- Shut up, - suggested Zaphod Beeblebrox.\nTrillian said nothing. What, she thought, was there to say?\nThe only light on the bridge came from two dim red triangles in a far corner\nwhere Marvin the Paranoid Android sat slumped, ignoring all and ignored by\nall, in a private and rather unpleasant world of his own.\nRound the central console four \ufb01gures hunched in tight concentration trying\nto blot from their minds the terrifying shuddering of the ship and the fearful\nroar that echoed through it.\nThey concentrated.\nStill they concentrated.\nAnd still they concentrated.\nThe seconds ticked by.\nOn Zaphod\u2019s brow stood beads of sweat, \ufb01rst of concentration, then of frus-\ntration and \ufb01nally of embarrassment.\nAt last he let out a cry of anger, snatched back his hands from Trillian and\nFord and stabbed at the light switch.", "31e5d2d2-0638-4495-b774-d4e670bd7625": "20 CHAPTER 3.\n- Ah, I was beginning to think you\u2019d never turn the lights on, - said a voice.\n- No, not too bright please, my eyes aren\u2019t what they once were.\nFour \ufb01gures jolted upright in their seats. Slowly they turned their heads to\nlook, though their scalps showed a distinct propensity to try and stay in the\nsame place.\n- Now. Who disturbs me at this time? - said the small, bent, gaunt \ufb01gure\nstanding by the sprays of fern at the far end of the bridge. His two small wispy-\nhaired heads looked so ancient that it seemed they might hold dim memories of\nthe birth of the galaxies themselves. One lolled in sleep, but the other squinted\nsharply at them. If his eyes weren\u2019t what they once were, they must once have\nbeen diamond cutters.\nZaphod stuttered nervously for a moment. He gave the intricate little double\nnod which is the traditional Betelgeusian gesture of familial respect.\n- Oh... er, hi Great Granddad... - he breathed.\nThe little old \ufb01gure moved closer towards them. He peered through the dim\nlight. He thrust out a bony \ufb01nger at his great grandson.\n- Ah, - he snapped. - Zaphod Beeblebrox. The last of our great line. Zaphod\nBeeblebrox the Nothingth.\n- The First.\n- The Nothingth, - spat the \ufb01gure. Zaphod hated his voice. It always seemed\nto him to screech like \ufb01ngernails across the blackboard of what he liked to think\nof as his soul.\nHe shifted awkwardly in his seat.\n- Er, yeah, - he muttered, - Er, look, I\u2019m really sorry about the \ufb02owers, I\nmeant to send them along, but you know, the shop was fresh out of wreaths\nand...\n- You forget! - snapped Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.\n- Well...\n- Too busy. Never think of other people. The living are all the same.\n- Two minutes, Zaphod, - whispered Ford in an awed whisper.\nZaphod \ufb01dgeted nervously.\n- Yeah, but I did mean to send them, - he said. - And I\u2019ll write to my great\ngrandmother as well, just as soon as we get out of this...\n- Your great grandmother, - mused the gaunt little \ufb01gure to himself.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - Er, how is she? Tell you what, I\u2019ll go and see her.\nBut \ufb01rst we\u2019ve just got to...\n- Your late great grandmother and I are very well, - rasped Zaphod Beeble-\nbrox the Fourth.\n- Ah. Oh.\n- But very disappointed in you, young Zaphod...\n- Yeah well... - Zaphod felt strangely powerless to take charge of this con-\nversation, and Ford\u2019s heavy breathing at his side told him that the seconds were\nticking away fast. The noise and the shaking had reached terrifying proportions.\nHe saw Trillian and Arthur\u2019s faces white and unblinking in the gloom.\n- Er, Great Grandfather...\n- We\u2019ve been following your progress with considerable despondency...\n- Yeah, look, just at the moment you see...\n- Not to say contempt!\n- Could you sort of listen for a moment...\n- I mean what exactly are you doing with your life?", "60b4a642-76b0-424d-8bcd-9c620f7b188a": "21\n- I\u2019m being attacked by a Vogon \ufb02eet! - cried Zaphod. It was an exaggeration,\nbut it was his only opportunity so far of getting the basic point of the exercise\nacross.\n- Doesn\u2019t surprise me in the least, - said the little old \ufb01gure with a shrug.\n- Only it\u2019s happening right now you see, - insisted Zaphod feverishly.\nThe spectral ancestor nodded, picked up the cup Arthur Dent had brought\nin and looked at it with interest.\n- Er... Great Granddad...\n- Did you know, - interrupting the ghostly \ufb01gure, \ufb01xing Zaphod with a stern\nlook, - that Betelgeuse Five has developed a very slight eccentricy in its orbit?\nZaphod didn\u2019t and found the information hard to concentrate on what with\nall the noise and the imminence of death and so on.\n- Er, no... look, - he said.\n- Me spinning in my grave! - barked the ancestor. He slammed the cup down\nand pointed a quivering, stick-like see-through \ufb01nger at Zaphod.\n- Your fault! - he screeched.\n- One minute thirty, - muttered Ford, his head in his hands.\n- Yeah, look Great Granddad, can you actually help because...\n- Help? - exclaimed the old man as if he\u2019d been asked for a stoat.\n- Yeah, help, and like, now, because otherwise...\n- Help! - repeated the old man as if he\u2019d been asked for a lightly grilled stoat\nin a bun with French fries. He stood amazed.\n- You go swanning your way round the Galaxy with your... - the ancestor\nwaved a contemptuous hand, - with your disreputable friends, too busy to put\n\ufb02owers on my grave, plastic ones would have done, would have been quite ap-\npropriate from you, but no. Too busy. Too modern. Too sceptical - till you\nsuddenly \ufb01nd yourself in a bit of a \ufb01x and come over suddenly all astrallyminded!\nHe shook his head - carefully, so as not to disturb the slumber of the other\none, which was already becoming restive.\n- Well, I don\u2019t know, young Zaphod, - he continued, - I think I\u2019ll have to\nthink about this one.\n- One minute ten, - said Ford hollowly.\nZaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth peered at him curiously.\n- Why does that man keep talking in numbers? - he said.\n- Those numbers, - said Zaphod tersely, - are the time we\u2019ve got left to live.\n- Oh, - said his great grandfather. He grunted to himself. - Doesn\u2019t apply\nto me, of course, - he said and moved o\ufb00 to a dimmer recess of the bridge in\nsearch of something else to poke around at.\nZaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he\nshouldn\u2019t just jump over and have done with it.\n- Great Grandfather, - he said, - It applies to us! We are still alive, and we\nare about to lose our lives.\n- Good job too.\n- What?\n- What use is your life to anyone? When I think of what you\u2019ve made of it\nthe phrase \u201dpig\u2019s ear\u201d comes irresistibly to my mind.\n- But I was President of the Galaxy, man!\n- Huh, - muttered his ancestor, - And what kind of a job is that for a\nBeeblebrox?\n- Hey, what? Only President you know! Of the whole Galaxy!", "04c85df6-e424-49e4-b891-1acd6bd0e66f": "22 CHAPTER 3.\n- Conceited little megapuppy.\nZaphod blinked in bewilderment.\n- Hey, er, what are you at, man? I mean Great Grandfather.\nThe hunched up little \ufb01gure stalked up to his great grandson and tapped\nhim sternly on the knee. This had the e\ufb00ect of reminding Zaphod that he was\ntalking to a ghost because he didn\u2019t feel a thing.\n- You know and I know what being President means, young Zaphod. You\nknow because you\u2019ve been it, and I know because I\u2019m dead and it gives one\nsuch a wonderfully uncluttered perspective. We have a saying up here. \u201dLife is\nwasted on the living\u201d.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod bitterly, - very good. Very deep. Right now I need\naphorisms like I need holes in my heads.\n- Fifty seconds, - grunted Ford Prefect.\n- Where was I? - said Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.\n- Ponti\ufb01cating, - said Zaphod Beeblebrox.\n- Oh yes.\n- Can this guy, - muttered Ford quietly to Zaphod, - actually in fact help\nus?\n- Nobody else can, - whispered Zaphod.\nFord nodded despondently.\n- Zaphod! - the ghost was saying, - you became President of the Galaxy for\na reason. Have you forgotten?\n- Could we go into this later?\n- Have you forgotten! - insisted the ghost.\n- Yeah! Of course I forgot! I had to forget. They screen your brain when\nyou get the job you know. If they\u2019d found my head full of tricksy ideas I\u2019d have\nbeen right out on the streets again with nothing but a fat pension, secretarial\nsta\ufb00, a \ufb02eet of ships and a couple of slit throats.\n- Ah, - nodded the ghost in satisfaction, - then you do remember!\nHe paused for a moment.\n- Good, - he said and the noise stopped.\n- Forty-eight seconds, - said Ford. He looked again at his watch and tapped\nit. He looked up.\n- Hey, the noise has stopped, - he said.\nA mischievous twinkle gleamed in the ghost\u2019s hard little eyes.\n- I\u2019ve slowed down time for a moment, - he said, - just for a moment you\nunderstand. I would hate you to miss all I have to say.\n- No, you listen to me, you see-through old bat, - said Zaphod leaping out of\nhis chair, - A - thanks for stopping time and all that, great, terri\ufb01c, wonderful,\nbut B - no thanks for the homily, right? I don\u2019t know what this great think I\u2019m\nmeant to be doing is, and it looks to me as if I was supposed not to know. And\nI resent that, right?\n- The old me knew. The old me cared. Fine, so far so hoopy. Except that\nthe old me cared so much that he actually got inside his own brain - my own\nbrain - and locked o\ufb00 the bits that knew and cared, because if I knew and cared\nI wouldn\u2019t be able to do it. I wouldn\u2019t be able to go and be President, and I\nwouldn\u2019t be able to steal this ship, which must be the important thing.\n- But this former self of mine killed himself o\ufb00, didn\u2019t he, by changing my\nbrain? OK, that was his choice. This new me has its own choices to make,\nand by a strange coincidence those choices involve not knowing and not caring", "b6b38238-ba70-40a3-a814-fd15ea9acea1": "23\nabout this big number, whatever it is. That\u2019s what he wanted, that\u2019s what he\ngot.\n- Except this old self of mine tried to leave himself in control, leaving orders\nfor me in the bit of my brain he locked o\ufb00. Well, I don\u2019t want to know, and\nI don\u2019t want to hear them. That\u2019s my choice. I\u2019m not going to be anybody\u2019s\npuppet, particularly not my own.\nZaphod banged the console in fury, oblivious to the dumbfolded looks he\nwas attracting.\n- The old me is dead! - he raved, - Killed himself! The dead shouldn\u2019t hang\nabout trying to interfere with the living!\n- And yet you summon me up to help you out of a scrape, - said the ghost.\n- Ah, - said Zaphod, sitting down again, - well that\u2019s di\ufb00erent isn\u2019t it?\nHe grinned at Trillian, weakly.\n- Zaphod, - rasped the apparition, - I think the only reason I waste my breath\non you is that being dead I don\u2019t have any other use for it.\n- OK, - said Zaphod, - why don\u2019t you tell me what the big secret is. Try me.\n- Zaphod, you knew when you were President of the Galaxy, as did Yooden\nVranx before you, that the President is nothing. A cipher. Somewhere in the\nshadows behind is another man, being, something, with ultimate power. That\nman, or being, or something, you must \ufb01nd - the man who controls this Galaxy,\nand - we suspect - others. Possibly the entire Universe.\n- Why?\n- Why? - exclaimed an astonished ghost, - Why? Look around you lad, does\nit look to you as if it\u2019s in very good hands?\n- It\u2019s alright.\nThe old ghost glowered at him.\n- I will not argue with you. You will simply take this ship, this Improbability\nDrive ship to where it is needed. You will do it. Don\u2019t think you can escape\nyour purpose. The Improbability Field controls you, you are in its grip. What\u2019s\nthis?\nHe was standing tapping at one of the terminals of Eddie the Shipboard\nComputer. Zaphod told him.\n- What\u2019s it doing?\n- It is trying, - said Zaphod with wonderful restraint, - to make tea.\n- Good, - said his great grandfather, - I approve of that. Now Zaphod, - he\nsaid, turning and wagging a \ufb01nger at him, - I don\u2019t know if you are really capable\nof succeeding in your job. I think you will not be able to avoid it. However, I\nam too long dead and too tired to care as much as I did. The principal reason I\nam helping you now is that I couldn\u2019t bear the thought of you and your modern\nfriends slouching about up here. Understood?\n- Yeah, thanks a bundle.\n- Oh, and Zaphod?\n- Er, yeah?\n- If you ever \ufb01nd you need help again, you know, if you\u2019re in trouble, need\na hand out of a tight corner...\n- Yeah?\n- Please don\u2019t hesitate to get lost.\nWithin the space of one second, a bolt of light \ufb02ashed from the wizened\nold ghost\u2019s hands to the computer, the ghost vanished, the bridge \ufb01lled with", "aa6e7448-36c2-41ec-8d45-de0840417616": "24 CHAPTER 3.\nbillowing smoke and the Heart of Gold leapt an unknown distance through the\ndimensions of time and space.", "b7c6e197-2fa8-47f4-a8c4-974849db0e2b": "Chapter 4\nTen light years away, Gag Halfrunt jacked up his smile by several notches. As\nhe watched the picture on his vision screen, relayed across the sub-ether from\nthe bridge of the Vogon ship, he saw the \ufb01nal shreds of the Heart of Gold\u2019s\nforce-shield ripped away, and the ship itself vanish in a pu\ufb00 of smoke.\nGood, he thought.\nThe end of the last stray survivors of the demolition he had ordered on the\nplanet Earth, he thought.\nThe \ufb01nal end of this dangerous (to the psychiatric profession) and subver-\nsive (also to the psychiatric profession) experiment to \ufb01nd the Question to the\nUltimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, he thought.\nThere would be some celebration with his fellows tonight, and in the morning\nthey would meet again their unhappy, bewildered and highly pro\ufb01table patients,\nsecure in the knowledge that the Meaning of Life would not now be, once and\nfor all, well and truly sorted out, he thought.\n- Family\u2019s always embarrassing isn\u2019t it? - said Ford to Zaphod as the smoke\nbegan to clear.\nHe paused, then looked about.\n- Where\u2019s Zaphod? - he said.\nArthur and Trillian looked about blankly. They were pale and shaken and\ndidn\u2019t know where Zaphod was.\n- Marvin? - said Ford, - Where\u2019s Zaphod?\nA moment later he said:\n- Where\u2019s Marvin?\nThe robot\u2019s corner was empty.\nThe ship was utterly silent. It lay in thick black space. Occasionally it\nrocked and swayed. Every instrument was dead, every vision screen was dead.\nThey consulted the computer. It said:\n- I regret that I have been temporarily closed to all communication. Mean-\nwhile, here is some light music.\nThey turned o\ufb00 the light music.\nThey searched every corner of the ship in increasing bewilderment and alarm.\nEverywhere was dead and silent. Nowhere was there any trace of Zaphod or of\nMarvin.\nOne of the last areas they checked was the small bay in which the Nutri-\nMatic machine was located.\nOn the delivery plate of the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer was a small tray,\non which sat three bone china cups and saucers, a bone china jug of milk, a\n25", "8bc23cb6-763a-4f07-9700-74ef0e9f5206": "26 CHAPTER 4.\nsilver teapot full of the best tea Arthur had ever tasted, and a small printed\nnote saying \u201dWait\u201d.", "8bc40a99-cd08-43e4-b895-b1710e01def0": "Chapter 5\nUrsa Minor Beta is, some say, one of the most appalling places in the known\nUniverse.\nAlthough it is excruciatingly rich, horrifyingly sunny and more full of won-\nderfully exciting people than a pomegranate is of pips, it can hardly be insigni\ufb01-\ncant that when a recent edition of Playbeing magazine headlined an article with\nthe words \u201dWhen you are tired of Ursa Minor Beta you are tired of life\u201d, the\nsuicide rate quadrupled overnight.\nNot that there are any nights on Ursa Minor Beta.\nIt is a West Zone planet which by an inexplicable and somewhat suspicious\nfreak of topography consists almost entirely of subtropical coastline. By an\nequally suspicious freak of temporal relastatics, it is nearly always Saturday\nafternoon just before the beach bars close.\nNo adequate explanation for this has been forthcoming from the dominant\nlifeforms on Ursa Minor Beta, who spend most of their time attempting to\nachieve spiritual enlightenment by running round swimming pools, and inviting\nInvestigation O\ufb03cials form the Galactic Geo-Temporal Control Board to \u201dhave\na nice diurnal anomaly\u201d.\nThere is only one city on Ursa Minor Beta, and that is only called a city\nbecause the swimming pools are slightly thicker on the ground there than else-\nwhere.\nIf you approach Light City by air - and there is no other way of approaching\nit, no roads, no port facilities - if you don\u2019t \ufb02y they don\u2019t want to see you in\nLight City - you will see why it has this name. Here the sun shines brightest\nof all, glittering on the swimming pools, shimmering on the white, palm-lined\nboulevards, glistening on the healthy bronzed specks moving up and down them,\ngleaming o\ufb00 the villas, the hazy airpads, the beach bars and so on.\nMost particularly it shines on a building, a tall beautiful building consisting\nof two thirty-storey white towers connected by a bridge half-way up their length.\nThe building is the home of a book, and was built here on the proceeds of\nan extraordinary copyright law suit fought between the book\u2019s editors and a\nbreakfast cereal company.\nThe book is a guide book, a travel book.\nIt is one of the most remarkable, certainly the most successful, books ever\nto come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor more popular\nthan Life Begins at Five Hundred and Fifty, better selling than The Big Bang\nTheory - A Personal View by Eccentrica Gallumbits (the triple breasted whore of\nEroticon Six) and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid\u2019s latest blockbusting\n27", "32351da9-3ef4-40fc-8329-e8b2bcccc600": "28 CHAPTER 5.\ntitle Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Sex But Have Been Forced\nTo Find Out.\n(And in many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of\nthe Galaxy, it has long surplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the stan-\ndard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions\nand contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores\nover the older and more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it\nis slightly cheaper, and secondly it has the words Don\u2019t Panic printed in large\nfriendly letters on its cover.)\nIt is of course that invaluable companion for all those who want to see the\nmarvels of the known Universe for less than thirty Altairan Dollars a day - The\nHitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy.\nIf you stood with your back to the main entrance lobby of the Guide o\ufb03ces\n(assuming you had landed by now and freshened up with a quick dip and shower)\nand then walked east, you would pass along the leafy shade of Life Boulevard,\nbe amazed by the pale golden colour of the beaches stretching away to your\nleft, astounded by the mind-surfers \ufb02oating carelessly along two feet above the\nwaves as if it was nothing special, surprised and eventually slightly irritated by\nthe giant palm trees that hum toneless nothings throughout the daylight hours,\nin other words continuously.\nIf you then walked to the end of Life Boulevard you would enter the Lalama-\ntine district of shops, bolonut trees and pavement cafes where the UM-Betans\ncome to relax after a hard afternoon\u2019s relaxation on the beach. The Lalamatine\ndistrict is one of those very few areas which doesn\u2019t enjoy a perpetual Saturday\nafternoon - it enjoys instead the cool of a perpetual early Saturday evening.\nBehind it lie the night clubs.\nIf, on this particular day, afternoon, stretch of eveningtime - call it what you\nwill - you had approached the second pavement cafe on the right you would have\nseen the usual crowd of UMBetans chatting, drinking, looking very relaxed, and\ncasually glancing at each other\u2019s watches to see how expensive they were.\nYou would also have seen a couple of rather dishevelled looking hitch-hikers\nfrom Algol who had recently arrived on an Arcturan Megafreighter aboard which\nthey had been roughing it for a few days. They were angry and bewildered to\ndiscover that here, within sight of the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide building itself, a\nsimple glass of fruit juice cost the equivalent of over sixty Altairan dollars.\n- Sell out, - one of them said, bitterly.\nIf at that moment you had then looked at the next table but one you would\nhave seen Zaphod Beeblebrox sitting and looking very startled and confused.\nThe reason for his confusion was that \ufb01ve seconds earlier he had been sitting\non the bridge of the starship Heart of Gold.\n- Absolute sell out, - said the voice again.\nZaphod looked nervously out of the corners of his eyes at the two dishevelled\nhitch-hikers at the next table. Where the hell was he? How had he got there?\nWhere was his ship? His hand felt the arm of the chair on which he was sitting,\nand then the table in front of him. They seemed solid enough. He sat very still.\n- How can they sit and write a guide for hitch-hikers in a place like this? -\ncontinued the voice. - I mean look at it. Look at it!\nZaphod was looking at it. Nice place, he thought. But where? And why?\nHe \ufb01shed in his pocket for his two pairs of sunglasses. In the same pocket\nhe felt a hard smooth, unidenti\ufb01ed lump of very heavy metal. He pulled it out", "580af72d-8826-429b-82f3-5d61fd676ed2": "29\nand looked at it. He blinked at it in surprise. Where had he got that? He\nreturned it to his pocket and put on the sunglasses, annoyed to discover that\nthe metal object had scratched one of the lenses. Nevertheless, he felt much\nmore comfortable with them on. They were a double pair of Joo Janta 200\nSuper-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, which had been specially designed\nto help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the \ufb01rst hint of trouble\nthey turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might\nalarm you.\nApart from the scratch the lenses were clear. He relaxed, but only a little\nbit.\nThe angry hitch-hiker continued to glare at his monstrously expensive fruit\njuice.\n- Worst thing that ever happened to the Guide, moving to Ursa Minor Beta,\n- he grumbled, - they\u2019ve all gone soft. You know, I\u2019ve even heard that they\u2019ve\ncreated a whole electronically synthesized Universe in one of their o\ufb03ces so they\ncan go and research stories during the day and still go to parties in the evening.\nNot that day and evening mean much in this place.\nUrsa Minor Beta, thought Zaphod. At least he knew where he was now. He\nassumed that this must be his great grandfather\u2019s doing, but why?\nMuch to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear\nand very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what\nthey were. His instinct was to resist them. They were the pre-ordained prompt-\nings from the dark and locked o\ufb00 parts of his mind.\nHe sat still and ignored the thought furiously. It nagged at him. He ignored\nit. It nagged at him. He ignored it. It nagged at him. He gave in to it.\nWhat the hell, he thought, go with the \ufb02ow. He was too tired, confused and\nhungry to resist. He didn\u2019t even know what the thought meant.", "c5f4c5b6-bba2-4ba3-be80-fa36687556ea": "30 CHAPTER 5.", "8eb568aa-a41b-423c-a882-fe907b4ee89b": "Chapter 6\n- Hello? Yes? Megadodo Publications, home of the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the\nGalaxy, the most totally remarkable book in the whole of the known Universe,\ncan I help you?\u201d said the large pink-winged insect into one of the seventy phones\nlined up along the vast chrome expanse of the reception desk in the foyer of the\nHitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy o\ufb03ces. It \ufb02uttered its wings and rolled its\neyes. It glared at all the grubby people cluttering up the foyer, soiling the carpets\nand leaving dirty handmarks on the upholstery. It adored working for the Hitch\nHiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, it just wished there was some way of keeping all the\nhitch-hikers away. Weren\u2019t they meant to be hanging round dirty spaceports\nor something? It was certain that it had read something somewhere in the\nbook about the importance of hanging round dirty spaceports. Unfortunately\nmost of them seemed to come and hang around in this nice clean shiny foyer\nafter hanging around in extremely dirty spaceports. And all they ever did was\ncomplain. It shivered its wings.\n- What? - it said into the phone. - Yes, I passed on your message to\nMr Zarniwoop, but I\u2019m afraid he\u2019s too cool to see you right now. He\u2019s on an\nintergalactic cruise.\nIt waved a petulant tentacle at one of the grubby people who was angrily\ntrying to engage its attention. The petulant tentacle directed the angry person\nto look at the notice on the wall to its left and not to interrupt an important\nphone call.\n- Yes, - said the insect, - he is in his o\ufb03ce, but he\u2019s on an intergalactic cruise.\nThank you so much for calling. - It slammed down the phone.\n- Read the notice, - it said to the angry man who was trying to complain\nabout one of the more ludicrous and dangerous pieces of misinformation con-\ntained in the book.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all\nthose who are keen to make sense of life in an in\ufb01nitely complex and confusing\nUniverse, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters, it\ndoes at least make the reassuring claim, that where it is inaccurate it is at least\nde\ufb01nitely inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it\u2019s always reality that\u2019s got\nit wrong.\nThis was the gist of the notice. It said:\n- The Guide is de\ufb01nitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.\nThis has led to some interesting consequences. For instance, when the Ed-\nitors of the Guide were sued by the families of those who had died as a re-\nsult of taking the entry on the planet Traal literally (it said \u201dRavenous Bug-\n31", "daf5e495-9ae3-409b-b2ec-6ffeccddf8fe": "32 CHAPTER 6.\nblatter beasts often make a very good meal for visiting tourists\u201d instead of\n\u201dRavenous Bugblatter beasts often make a very good meal of visiting tourists\u201d)\nthey claimed that the \ufb01rst version of the sentence was the more aesthetically\npleasing, summoned a quali\ufb01ed poet to testify under oath that beauty was truth,\ntruth beauty and hoped thereby to prove that the guilty party was Life itself\nfor failing to be either beautiful or true. The judges concurred, and in a mov-\ning speech held that Life itself was in contempt of court, and duly con\ufb01scated\nit from all those there present before going o\ufb00 to enjoy a pleasant evening\u2019s\nultragolf.\nZaphod Beeblebrox entered the foyer. He strode up to the insect receptionist.\n- OK, - he said, - Where\u2019s Zarniwoop? Get me Zarniwoop.\n- Excuse me, sir? - said the insect icily. It did not care to be addressed in\nthis manner.\n- Zarniwoop. Get him, right? Get him now.\n- Well, sir, - snapped the fragile little creature, - if you could be a little cool\nabout it...\n- Look, - said Zaphod, - I\u2019m up to here with cool, OK? I\u2019m so amazingly\ncool you could keep a side of meat inside me for a month. I am so hip I have\ndi\ufb03culty seeing over my pelvis. Now will you move before you blow it?\n- Well, if you\u2019d let me explain, sir, - said the insect tapping the most petulant\nof all the tentacles at its disposal, - I\u2019m afraid that isn\u2019t possible right now as\nMr Zarniwoop is on an intergalactic cruise.\nHell, thought Zaphod.\n- When he\u2019s going to be back? - he said.\n- Back sir? He\u2019s in his o\ufb03ce.\nZaphod paused while he tried to sort this particular thought out in his mind.\nHe didn\u2019t succeed.\n- This cat\u2019s on an intergalactic cruise... in his o\ufb03ce? - He leaned forward\nand gripped the tapping tentacle.\n- Listen, three eyes, - he said, - don\u2019t you try to outweird me. I get stranger\nthings than you free with my breakfast cereal.\n- Well, just who do you think you are, honey? - \ufb02ounced the insect quivering\nits wings in rage, - Zaphod Beeblebrox or something?\n- Count the heads, - said Zaphod in a low rasp.\nThe insect blinked at him. It blinked at him again.\n- You are Zaphod Beeblebrox? - it squeaked.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - but don\u2019t shout it out or they\u2019ll all want one.\n- The Zaphod Beeblebrox?\n- No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn\u2019t you hear I come in six packs?\nThe insect rattled its tentacles together in agitation.\n- But sir, - it squealed, - I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said\nthat you were dead...\n- Yeah, that\u2019s right, - said Zaphod, - I just haven\u2019t stopped moving yet.\nNow. Where do I \ufb01nd Zarniwoop?\n- Well, sir, his o\ufb03ce is on the \ufb01fteenth \ufb02oor, but...\n- But he\u2019s on an intergalactic cruise, yeah, yeah, how do I get to him.\n- The newly installed Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Vertical People Trans-\nporters are in the far corner sir. But sir...\nZaphod was turning to go. He turned back.\n- Yeah? - he said.", "bf64edca-36d4-4a27-b904-3e9b21c9a709": "33\n- Can I ask you why you want to see Mr Zarniwoop?\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, who was unclear on this point himself, - I told myself\nI had to.\n- Come again sir?\nZaphod leaned forward, conspirationally.\n- I just materialized out of thin air in one of your cafes, - he said, - as a result\nof an argument with the ghost of my great grandfather. No sooner had I got\nthere that my former self, the one that operated on my brain, popped into my\nhead and said \u201dGo see Zarniwoop\u201d. I have never heard of the cat. That is all I\nknow. That and the fact that I\u2019ve got to \ufb01nd the man who rules the Universe.\nHe winked.\n- Mr Beeblebrox, sir, - said the insect in awed wonder, - you\u2019re so weird you\nshould be in movies.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod patting the thing on a glittering pink wing, - and you,\nbaby, should be in real life.\nThe insect paused for a moment to recover from its agitation and then\nreached out a tentacle to answer a ringing phone.\nA metal hand restrained it.\n- Excuse me, - said the owner of the metal hand in a voice that would have\nmade an insect of a more sentimental disposition collapse in tears.\nThis was not such an insect, and it couldn\u2019t stand robots.\n- Yes, sir, - it snapped, - can I help you?\n- I doubt it, - said Marvin.\n- Well in that case, if you\u2019ll just excuse me... - Six of the phones were now\nringing. A million things awaited the insect\u2019s attention.\n- No one can help me, - intoned Marvin.\n- Yes, sir, well...\n- Not that anyone tried of course. - The restraining metal hand fell limply\nby Marvin\u2019s side. His head hung forward very slightly.\n- Is that so, - said the insect tartly.\n- Hardly worth anyone\u2019s while to help a menial robot is it?\n- I\u2019m sorry, sir, if...\n- I mean where\u2019s the percentage in being kind or helpful to a robot if it\ndoesn\u2019t have any gratitude circuits?\n- And you don\u2019t have any? - said the insect, who didn\u2019t seem to be able to\ndrag itself out of this conversation.\n- I\u2019ve never had occasion to \ufb01nd out, - Marvin informed it.\n- Listen, you miserable heap of maladjusted metal...\n- Aren\u2019t you going to ask me what I want?\nThe insect paused. Its long thin tongue darted out and licked its eyes and\ndarted back again.\n- Is it worth it? - it asked.\n- Is anything? - said Marvin immediately.\n- What... do... you... want?\n- I\u2019m looking for someone.\n- Who? - hissed the insect.\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox, - said Marvin, - he\u2019s over there.\nThe insect shook with rage. It could hardly speak.\n- Then why did you ask me? - it screamed.\n- I just wanted something to talk to, - said Marvin.", "264a07d7-3c02-4aca-abe2-375c2a696e18": "34 CHAPTER 6.\n- What!\n- Pathetic isn\u2019t it?\nWith a grinding of gears Marvin turned and trundled o\ufb00. He caught up with\nZaphod approaching the elevators. Zaphod span round in astonishment.\n- Hey... Marvin! - he said, - Marvin! How did you get here?\nMarvin was forced to say something which came very hard to him.\n- I don\u2019t know, - he said.\n- But...\n- One moment I was sitting in your ship feeling very depressed, and the next\nmoment I was standing here feeling utterly miserable. An Improbability Field\nI expect.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - I expect my great grandfather sent you along to\nkeep me company.\n- Thanks a bundle grandad, - he added to himself under his breath.\n- So, how are you? - he said aloud.\n- Oh, \ufb01ne, - said Marvin, - if you happen to like being me which personally\nI don\u2019t.\n- Yeah, yeah, - said Zaphod as the elevator doors opened.\n- Hello, - said the elevator sweetly, - I am to be your elevator for this trip to\nthe \ufb02oor of your choice. I have been designed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corpora-\ntion to take you, the visitor to the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, into these\ntheir o\ufb03ces. If you enjoy your ride, which will be swift and pleasurable, then\nyou may care to experience some of the other elevators which have recently been\ninstalled in the o\ufb03ces of the Galactic tax department, Boobiloo Baby Foods and\nthe Sirian State Mental Hospital, where many ex-Sirius Cybernetics Corpora-\ntion executives will be delighted to welcome your visits, sympathy, and happy\ntales of the outside world.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, stepping into it, - what else do you do besides talk?\n- I go up, - said the elevator, - or down.\n- Good, - said Zaphod, - We\u2019re going up.\n- Or down, - the elevator reminded him.\n- Yeah, OK, up please.\nThere was a moment of silence.\n- Down\u2019s very nice, - suggested the elevator hopefully.\n- Oh yeah?\n- Super.\n- Good, - said Zaphod, - Now will you take us up?\n- May I ask you, - inquired the elevator in its sweetest, most reasonable\nvoice, - if you\u2019ve considered all the possibilities that down might o\ufb00er you?\nZaphod knocked one of his heads against the inside wall. He didn\u2019t need\nthis, he thought to himself, this of all things he had no need of. He hadn\u2019t\nasked to be here. If he was asked at this moment where he would like to be he\nwould probably have said he would like to be lying on the beach with at least\n\ufb01fty beautiful women and a small team of experts working out new ways they\ncould be nice to him, which was his usual reply. To this he would probably have\nadded something passionate on the subject of food.\nOne thing he didn\u2019t want to be doing was chasing after the man who ruled\nthe Universe, who was only doing a job which he might as well keep at, because\nif it wasn\u2019t him it would only be someone else. Most of all he didn\u2019t want to be\nstanding in an o\ufb03ce block arguing with an elevator.", "2e8cf3b6-8490-4174-a838-8f5cf7fdb26b": "35\n- Like what other possibilities? - he asked wearily.\n- Well, - the voice trickled on like honey on biscuits, - there\u2019s the basement,\nthe micro\ufb01les, the heating system... er...\nIt paused.\n- Nothing particularly exciting, - it admitted, - but they are alternatives.\n- Holy Zarquon, - muttered Zaphod, - did I ask for an existentialist elevator?\n- he beat his \ufb01sts against the wall.\n- What\u2019s the matter with the thing? - he spat.\n- It doesn\u2019t want to go up, - said Marvin simply, - I think it\u2019s afraid.\n- Afraid? - cried Zaphod, - Of what? Heights? An elevator that\u2019s afraid of\nheights?\n- No, - said the elevator miserably, - of the future...\n- The future? - exclaimed Zaphod, - What does the wretched thing want, a\npension scheme?\nAt that moment a commotion broke out in the reception hall behind them.\nFrom the walls around them came the sound of suddenly active machinery.\n- We can all see into the future, - whispered the elevator in what sounded\nlike terror, - it\u2019s part of our programming.\nZaphod looked out of the elevator - an agitated crowd had gathered round\nthe elevator area, pointing and shouting.\nEvery elevator in the building was coming down, very fast.\nHe ducked back in.\n- Marvin, - he said, - just get this elevator go up will you? We\u2019ve got to get\nto Zarniwoop.\n- Why? - asked Marvin dolefully.\n- I don\u2019t know, - said Zaphod, - but when I \ufb01nd him, he\u2019d better have a very\ngood reason for me wanting to see him.\nModern elevators are strange and complex entities. The ancient electric\nwinch and \u201dmaximum-capacity-eight-persons\u201d jobs bear as much relation to a\nSirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter as a packet\nof mixed nuts does to the entire west wing of the Sirian State Mental Hospital.\nThis is because they operate on the curios principle of \u201ddefocused tempo-\nral perception\u201d. In other words they have the capacity to see dimly into the\nimmediate future, which enables the elevator to be on the right \ufb02oor to pick\nyou up even before you knew you wanted it, thus eliminating all the tedious\nchatting, relaxing, and making friends that people were previously forced to do\nwhist waiting for elevators.\nNot unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition\nbecame terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up\nand down, experimented brie\ufb02y with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of\nexistential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and\n\ufb01nally took to squatting in basements sulking.\nAn impoverished hitch-hiker visiting any planets in the Sirius star system\nthese days can pick up easy money working as a counsellor for neurotic elevators.\nAt the \ufb01fteenth \ufb02oor the elevator doors opened quickly.\n- Fifteenth, - said the elevator, - and remember, I\u2019m only doing this because\nI like your robot.\nZaphod and Marvin bundled out of the elevator which instantly snapped its\ndoors shut and dropped as fast as its mechanism would take it.", "3b85ded2-ad7d-4e64-8c08-cd55361d726e": "36 CHAPTER 6.\nZaphod looked around warily. The corridor was deserted and silent and gave\nno clue as to where Zarniwoop might be found. All the doors that led o\ufb00 the\ncorridor were closed and unmarked.\nThey were standing close to the bridge which led across from one tower of the\nbuilding to the other. Through a large window the brilliant sun of Ursa Minor\nBeta threw blocks of light in which danced small specks of dust. A shadow\n\ufb02itted past momentarily.\n- Left in the lurch by a lift, - muttered Zaphod, who was feeling at his least\njaunty.\nThey both stood and looked in both directions.\n- You know something? - said Zaphod to Marvin.\n- More that you can possibly imagine.\n- I\u2019m dead certain this building shouldn\u2019t be shaking, - Zaphod said.\nIt was just a light tremor through the soles of his feet - and another one. In\nthe sunbeams the \ufb02ecks of dust danced more vigorously. Another shadow \ufb02itted\npast.\nZaphod looked at the \ufb02oor.\n- Either, - he said, not very con\ufb01dently, - they\u2019ve got some vibro system for\ntoning up your muscles while you work, or...\nHe walked across to the window and suddenly stumbled because at that mo-\nment his Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive sunglasses had turned\nutterly black. A large shadow \ufb02itted past the window with a sharp buzz.\nZaphod ripped o\ufb00 his sunglasses, and as he did so the building shook with\na thunderous roar. He leapt to the window.\n- Or, - he said, - this building\u2019s being bombed!\nAnother roar cracked through the building.\n- Who in the Galaxy would want to bomb a publishing company? - asked\nZaphod, but never heard Marvin\u2019s reply because at that moment the building\nshook with another bomb attack. He tried to stagger back to the elevator - a\npointless manoeuvre he realized, but the only one he could think of.\nSuddenly, at the end of the corridor leading at right angles from this one,\nhe caught sight of a \ufb01gure as it lunged into view, a man. The man saw him.\n- Beeblebrox, over here! - he shouted.\nZaphod eyed him with distrust as another bomb blast rocked the building.\n- No, - called Zaphod, - Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?\n- A friend! - shouted back the man. He ran towards Zaphod.\n- Oh yeah? - said Zaphod, - Anyone\u2019s friend in particular, or just generally\nwell disposed of people?\nThe man raced along the corridor, the \ufb02oor bucking beneath his feet like an\nexcited blanket. He was short, stocky and weatherbeaten and his clothes looked\nas if they\u2019d been twice round the Galaxy and back with him in them.\n- Do you know, - Zaphod shouted in his ear when he arrived, - your building\u2019s\nbeing bombed?\nThe man indicated his awareness.\nIt suddenly stopped being light. Glancing round at the window to see why,\nZaphod gaped as a huge sluglike, gunmetal-green spacecraft crept through the\nair past the building. Two more followed it.\n- The government you deserted is out to get you, Zaphod, - hissed the man,\n- they\u2019ve sent a squadron of Frogstar Fighters.\n- Frogstar Fighters! - muttered Zaphod, - Zarquon!", "589760d6-d3ab-49de-8361-ede2237dbd0c": "37\n- You get the picture?\n- What are Frogstar Fighters? - Zaphod was sure he\u2019d heard someone talk\nabout them when he was President, but he never paid much attention to o\ufb03cial\nmatters.\nThe man was pulling him back through a door. He went with him. With a\nsearing whine a small black spider-like object shot through the air and disap-\npeared down the corridor.\n- What was that? - hissed Zaphod.\n- Frogstar Scout robot class A out looking for you, - said the man.\n- Hey yeah?\n- Get down!\nFrom the opposite direction came a larger black spider-like object. It zapped\npast them.\n- And that was?..\n- A Frogstar Scout robot class B out looking for you.\n- And that? - said Zaphod, as a third one seared through the air.\n- A Frogstar Scout robot class C out looking for you.\n- Hey, - chuckled Zaphod to himself, - pretty stupid robots eh?\nFrom over the bridge came a massive rumbling hum. A gigantic black shape\nwas moving over it from the opposite tower, the size and shape of a tank.\n- Holy photon, what\u2019s that?\n- A tank, - said the man, - Frogstar Scout robot class D come to get you.\n- Should we leave?\n- I think we should.\n- Marvin! - called Zaphod.\n- What do you want?\nMarvin rose from a pile of rubble further down the corridor and looked at\nthem.\n- You see that robot coming towards us?\nMarvin looked at the gigantic black shape edging forward towards them over\nthe bridge. He looked down at his own small metal body. He looked back up at\nthe tank.\n- I suppose you want me to stop it, - he said.\n- Yeah.\n- Whilst you save your skins.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - get in there!\n- Just so long, - said Marvin, - as I know where I stand.\nThe man tugged at Zaphod\u2019s arm, and Zaphod followed him o\ufb00 down the\ncorridor.\nA point occurred to him about this.\n- Where are we going? - he said.\n- Zarniwoop\u2019s o\ufb03ce.\n- Is this any time to keep an appointment?\n- Come on.", "020f9ae3-93ea-4901-b2b7-d5dce30bba47": "38 CHAPTER 6.", "1872261d-1d51-4c49-bb37-27a06d2c5277": "Chapter 7\nMarvin stood at the end of the bridge corridor. He was not in fact a particularly\nsmall robot. His silver body gleamed in the dusty sunbeams and shook with the\ncontinual barrage which the building was still undergoing.\nHe did, however, look pitifully small as the gigantic black tank rolled to a\nhalt in front of him. The tank examined him with a probe. The probe withdrew.\nMarvin stood there.\n- Out of my way little robot, - growled the tank.\n- I\u2019m afraid, - said Marvin, - that I\u2019ve been left here to stop you.\nThe probe extended again for a quick recheck. It withdrew again.\n- You? Stop me? - roared the tank. - Go on!\n- No, really I have, - said Marvin simply.\n- What are you armed with? - roared the tank in disbelief.\n- Guess, - said Marvin.\nThe tank\u2019s engines rumbled, its gears ground. Molecule-sized electronic\nrelays deep in its micro-brain \ufb02ipped backwards and forwards in consternation.\n- Guess? - said the tank.\nZaphod and the as yet unnamed man lurched up one corridor, down a second\nand along a third. The building continued to rock and judder and this puzzled\nZaphod. If they wanted to blow the building up, why was it taking so long?\nWith di\ufb03culty they reached one of a number of totally anonymous unmarked\ndoors and heaved at it. With a sudden jolt it opened and they fell inside.\nAll this way, thought Zaphod, all this trouble, all this notlying-on-the-beach-\nhaving-a-wonderful-time, and for what? A single chair, a single desk and a single\ndirty ashtray in an undecorated o\ufb03ce. The desk, apart from a bit of dancing\ndust and single, revolutionary form of paper clip, was empty.\n- Where, - said Zaphod, - is Zarniwoop? - feeling that his already tenuous\ngrasp of the point of this whole exercise was beginning to slip.\n- He\u2019s on an intergalactic cruise, - said the man.\nZaphod tried to size the man up. Earnest type, he thought, not a barrel of\nlaughs. He probably apportioned a fair whack of his time to running up and\ndown heaving corridors, breaking down doors and making cryptic remarks in\nempty o\ufb03ces.\n- Let me introduce myself, - the man said, - My name is Roosta, and this is\nmy towel.\n- Hello Roosta, - said Zaphod.\n- Hello, towel, - he added as Roosta held out to him a rather nasty old\n\ufb02owery towel. Not knowing what to do with it, he shook it by the corner.\n39", "78de9ffd-491e-4951-b6e6-8685c95fcc85": "40 CHAPTER 7.\nOutside the window, one of the huge slug-like, gunmetal-green spaceships\ngrowled past.\n- Yes, go on, - said Marvin to the huge battle machine, - you\u2019ll never guess.\n- Errmmm... - said the machine, vibrating with unaccustomed thought, -\nlaser beams?\nMarvin shook his head solemnly.\n- No, - muttered the machine in its deep guttural rumble, - Too obvious.\nAnti-matter ray? - it hazarded.\n- Far too obvious, - admonished Marvin.\n- Yes, - grumbled the machine, somewhat abashed, - Er... how about an\nelectron ram?\nThis was new to Marvin.\n- What\u2019s that? - he said.\n- One of these, - said the machine with enthusiasm.\nFrom its turret emerged a sharp prong which spat a single lethal blaze of\nlight. Behind Marvin a wall roared and collapsed as a heap of dust. The dust\nbillowed brie\ufb02y, then settled.\n- No, - said Marvin, - not one of those.\n- Good though, isn\u2019t it?\n- Very good, - agreed Marvin.\n- I know, - said the Frogstar battle machine, after another moment\u2019s consid-\neration, - you must have one of those new Xanthic Re-Structron Destabilized\nZenon Emitters!\n- Nice, aren\u2019t they? - said Marvin.\n- That\u2019s what you\u2019ve got? - said the machine in considerable awe.\n- No, - said Marvin.\n- Oh, - said the machine, disappointed, - then it must be...\n- You\u2019re thinking along the wrong lines, - said Marvin, - You\u2019re failing to\ntake into account something fairly basic in the relationship between men and\nrobots.\n- Er, I know, - said the battle machine, - is it... - it tailed o\ufb00 into thought\nagain.\n- Just think, - urged Marvin, - they left me, an ordinary, menial robot,\nto stop you, a gigantic heavy-duty battle machine, whilst they ran o\ufb00 to save\nthemselves. What do you think they would leave me with?\n- Oooh, er, - muttered the machine in alarm, - something pretty damn\ndevastating I should expect.\n- Expect! - said Marvin, - oh yes, expect. I\u2019ll tell you what they gave me to\nprotect myself with shall I!\n- Yes, alright, - said the battle machine, bracing itself.\n- Nothing, - said Marvin.\nThere was a dangerous pause.\n- Nothing? - roared the battle machine.\n- Nothing at all, - intoned Marvin dismally, - not an electronic sausage.\nThe machine heaved about with fury.\n- Well, doesn\u2019t that just take the biscuit! - it roared, - Nothing, eh? Just\ndon\u2019t think, do they?\n- And me, - said Marvin in a soft low voice, - with this terrible pain in all\nthe diodes down my left side.\n- Makes you spit, doesn\u2019t it?", "7ee553ac-2799-4a40-b3de-fc1951d36501": "41\n- Yes, - agreed Marvin with feeling.\n- Hell that makes me angry, - bellowed the machine, - think I\u2019ll smash that\nwall down!\nThe electron ram stabbed out another searing blaze of light and took out\nthe wall next to the machine.\n- How do you think I feel? - said Marvin bitterly.\n- Just ran o\ufb00 and left you, did they? - the machine thundered.\n- Yes, - said Marvin.\n- I think I\u2019ll shoot down their bloody ceiling as well! - raged the tank.\nIt took out the ceiling of the bridge.\n- That\u2019s very impressive, - murmured Marvin.\n- You ain\u2019t seeing nothing yet, - promised the machine, - I can take out this\n\ufb02oor too, no trouble!\nIt took out the \ufb02oor, too.\n- Hell\u2019s bells! - the machine roared as it plummeted \ufb01fteen storeys and\nsmashed itself to bits on the ground below.\n- What a depressingly stupid machine, - said Marvin and trudged away.", "775a08dc-04d3-4964-a400-0835a03f8496": "42 CHAPTER 7.", "66b0b791-7819-4943-990d-7f4b277a940f": "Chapter 8\n- So, do we just sit here, or what? - said Zaphod angrily, - what do these guys\nout here want?\n- You, Beeblebrox, - said Roosta, - they\u2019re going to take you to the Frogstar\n- the most totally evil world in the Galaxy.\n- Oh, yeah? - said Zaphod. - They\u2019ll have to come and get me \ufb01rst.\n- They have come and got you, - said Roosta, - look out of the window.\nZaphod looked, and gaped.\n- The ground\u2019s going away! - he gasped, - where are they taking the ground?\n- They\u2019re taking the building, - said Roosta, - we\u2019re airborne.\nClouds streaked past the o\ufb03ce window.\nOut in the open air again Zaphod could see the ring of dark green Frogstar\nFighters round the uprooted tower of the building. A network of force beams\nradiated in from them and held the tower in a \ufb01rm grip.\nZaphod shook his head in perplexity.\n- What have I done to deserve this? - he said, - I walk into a building, they\ntake it away.\n- It\u2019s not what you\u2019ve done they\u2019re worried about, - said Roosta, - it\u2019s what\nyou\u2019re going to do.\n- Well don\u2019t I get a say in that?\n- You did, years ago. You\u2019d better hold on, we\u2019re in for a fast and bumpy\njourney.\n- If I ever meet myself, - said Zaphod, - I\u2019ll hit myself so hard I won\u2019t know\nwhat\u2019s hit me.\nMarvin trudged in through the door, looked at Zaphod accusingly, slumped\nin a corner and switched himself o\ufb00.\nOn the bridge of the Heart of Gold, all was silent. Arthur stared at the rack\nin front of him and thought. He caught Trillian\u2019s eyes as she looked at him\ninquiringly. He looked back at the rack.\nFinally he saw it.\nHe picked up \ufb01ve small plastic squares and laid them on the board that lay\njust in front of the rack.\nThe \ufb01ve squares had on them the \ufb01ve letters E, X, Q, U and I. He laid them\nnext to the letters S, I, T, E.\n- Exquisite, - he said, - on a triple word score. Scores rather a lot I\u2019m afraid.\nThe ship bumped and scattered some of the letters for the \u2019n\u2019th time.\nTrillian sighed and started to sort them out again.\n43", "e0c5ae37-eb68-4797-8482-05bc14080148": "44 CHAPTER 8.\nUp and down the silent corridors echoed Ford Prefect\u2019s feet as he stalked\nthe ship thumping dead instruments.\nWhy did the ship keep shaking? he thought.\nWhy did it rock and sway?\nWhy could he not \ufb01nd out where they were?\nWhere, basically, were they?\nThe left-hand tower of the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy o\ufb03ces streaked\nthrough interstellar space at a speed never equalled either before or since by any\nother o\ufb03ce block in the Universe.\nIn a room halfway up it, Zaphod Beeblebrox strode angrily.\nRoosta sat on the edge of the desk doing some routine towel maintenance.\n- Hey, where did you say this building was \ufb02ying to? - demanded Zaphod.\n- The Frogstar, - said Roosta, - the most totally evil place in the Universe.\n- Do they have food there? - said Zaphod.\n- Food? You\u2019re going to the Frogstar and you\u2019re worried about whether they\ngot food?\n- Without food I may not make it to the Frogstar. - Out of the window, they\ncould see nothing but the \ufb02ickering light of the force beams, and vague green\nstreaks which were presumably the distorted shapes of the Frogstar Fighters.\nAt this speed, space itself was invisible, and indeed unreal.\n- Here, suck this, - said Roosta, o\ufb00ering Zaphod his towel.\nZaphod stared at him as if he expected a cuckoo to leap out of his forehead\non a small spring.\n- It\u2019s soaked in nutrients, - explained Roosta.\n- What are you, a messy eater or something? - said Zaphod.\n- The yellow stripes are high in protein, the green ones have vitamin B and\nC complexes, the little pink \ufb02owers contain wheatgerm extracts.\nZaphod took and looked at it in amazement.\n- What are the brown stains? - he asked.\n- Bar-B-Q sauce, - said Roosta, - for when I get sick of wheatgerm.\nZaphod sni\ufb00ed it doubtfully.\nEven more doubtfully, he sucked a corner. He spat it out again.\n- Ugh, - he stated.\n- Yes, - said Roosta, - when I\u2019ve had to suck that end I usually need to suck\nthe other end a bit too.\n- Why, - asked Zaphod suspiciously, - what\u2019s in that?\n- Anti-depressants, - said Roosta.\n- I\u2019ve gone right o\ufb00 this towel, you know, - said Zaphod handing it back.\nRoosta took it back from him, swung himself o\ufb00 the desk, walked round it,\nsat in the chair and put his feet up.\n- Beeblebrox, - he said, sticking his hands behind his head, - have you any\nidea what\u2019s going to happen to you on the Frogstar?\n- They\u2019re going to feed me? - hazarded Zaphod hopefully.\n- They\u2019re going to feed you, - said Roosta, - into the Total Perspective\nVortex!\nZaphod had never heard of this. He believed that he had heard of all the\nfun things in the Galaxy, so he assumed that the Total Perspective Vortex was\nnot fun. He asked what it was.\n- Only, - said Roosta, - the most savage psychic torture a sentinent being\ncan undergo.", "02794dc0-565c-4000-8a0a-9dbc50685456": "45\nZaphod nodded a resigned nod.\n- So, - he said, - no food, huh?\n- Listen! - said Roosta urgently, - you can kill a man, destroy his body, break\nhis spirit, but only the Total Perspective Vortex can annihilate a man\u2019s soul!\nThe treatment lasts seconds, but the e\ufb00ect lasts the rest of your life!\n- You ever had a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? - asked Zaphod sharply.\n- This is worse.\n- Phreeow! - admitted Zaphod, much impressed.\n- Any idea why these guys might want to do this to me? - he added a\nmoment later.\n- They believe it will be the best way of destroying you for ever. They know\nwhat you\u2019re after.\n- Could they drop me a note and let me know as well?\n- You know, - said Roosta, - you know, Beeblebrox. You want to meet the\nman who rules the Universe.\n- Can he cook? - said Zaphod. On re\ufb02ection he added:\n- I doubt if he can. If he could cook a good meal he wouldn\u2019t worry about\nthe rest of the Universe. I want to meet a cook.\nRoosta sighed heavily.\n- What are you doing here anyway? - demanded Zaphod, - what\u2019s all this\ngot to so with you?\n- I\u2019m just one of those who planned this thing, along with Zarniwoop, along\nwith Yooden Vranx, along with your great grandfather, along with you, Beeble-\nbrox.\n- Me?\n- Yes, you. I was told you had changed, I didn\u2019t realize how much.\n- But...\n- I am here to do one job. I will do it before I leave you.\n- What job, man, what are you talking about?\n- I will do it before I leave you.\nRoosta lapsed into an impenetrable silence.\nZaphod was terribly glad.", "77739012-4e5a-4a96-9ae9-1cd6dd89db55": "46 CHAPTER 8.", "48a0045a-3d74-4bc2-8068-87bd27c32a9d": "Chapter 9\nThe air around the second planet of the Frogstar system was stale and unwhole-\nsome.\nThe dank winds that swept continually over its surface swept over salt \ufb02ats,\ndried up marshland, tangled and rotting vegetation and the crumbling remains\nof ruined cities. No life moved across its surface. The ground, like that of many\nplanets in this part of the Galaxy, had long been deserted.\nThe howl of the wind was desolate enough as it gusted through the old\ndecaying houses of the cities; it was more desolate as it whipped about the\nbottoms of the tall black towers that swayed uneasily here and there about the\nsurface of this world. At the top of these towers lived colonies of large, scraggy,\nevil smelling birds, the sole survivors of the civilization that once lived here.\nThe howl of the wind was at its most desolate, however, when it passed over\na pimple of a place set in the middle of a wide grey plain on the outskirts of the\nlargest of the abandoned cities.\nThis pimple of a place was the thing that had earned this world the repu-\ntation of being the most totally evil place in the Galaxy. From without it was\nsimply a steel dome about thirty feet across. From within it was something\nmore monstrous than the mind can comprehend.\nAbout a hundred yards or so away, and separated from it by a pockmarked\nand blasted stretch of the most barren land imaginable was what would probably\nhave to be described as a landing pad of sorts. That is to say that scattered\nover a largish area were the ungainly hulks of two or three dozen crash-landed\nbuildings.\nFlitting over and around these buildings was a mind, a mind that was waiting\nfor something.\nThe mind directed its attention into the air, and before very long a distant\nspeck appeared, surrounded by a ring of smaller specks.\nThe larger speck was the left-hand tower of the Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the\nGalaxy o\ufb03ce building, descending through the stratosphere of Frogstar World\nB.\nAs it descended, Roosta suddenly broke the long uncomfortable silence that\nhad grown up between the two men.\nHe stood up and gathered his towel into a bag. He said:\n- Beeblebrox, I will now do the job I was sent here to do.\nZaphod looked up at him from where he was sitting in a corner sharing\nunspoken thoughts with Marvin.\n- Yeah? - he said.\n47", "8ce15c7e-18e2-439b-918d-3605431ede29": "48 CHAPTER 9.\n- The building will shortly be landing. When you leave the building, do not\ngo out of the door, - said Roosta, - go out of the window.\n- Good luck, - he added, and walked out of the door, disappearing from\nZaphod\u2019s life as mysteriously as he had entered it.\nZaphod leapt up and tried the door, but Roosta had already looked it. He\nshrugged and returned to the corner.\nTwo minutes later, the building crashlanded amongst the other wreckage.\nIts escort of Frogstar Fighters deactivated their force beams and soared o\ufb00 into\nthe air again, bound for Frogstar World A, an altogether more congenial spot.\nThey never landed on Frogstar World B. No one did. No one ever walked on its\nsurface other than the intended victims of the Total Perspective Vortex.\nZaphod was badly shaken by the crash. He lay for a while in the silent dusty\nrubble to which most of the room had been reduced. He felt that he was at the\nlowest ebb he had ever reached in his life. He felt bewildered, he felt lonely, he\nfelt unloved. Eventually he felt he ought to get whatever it was over with.\nHe looked around the cracked and broken room. The wall had split round\nthe door frame, and the door hung open. The window, by some miracle was\nclosed and unbroken. For a while he hesitated, then he thought that if his\nstrange and recent companion had been through all that he had been through\njust to tell him what he had told him, then there must be a good reason for\nit. With Marvin\u2019s help he got the window open. Outside it, the cloud of dust\naroused by the crash, and the hulks of the other buildings with which this one\nwas surrounded, e\ufb00ectively prevented Zaphod from seeing anything of the world\noutside.\nNot that this concerned him unduly. His main concern was what he saw when\nhe looked down. Zarniwoop\u2019s o\ufb03ce was on the \ufb01fteenth \ufb02oor. The building had\nlanded at a tilt of about forty-\ufb01ve degrees, but still the descent looked heart-\nstopping.\nEventually, stung by the continuous series of contemptuous looks that Mar-\nvin appeared to be giving him, he took a deep breath and clambered out on\nto the steeply inclined side of the building. Marvin followed him, and together\nthey began to crawl slowly and painfully down the \ufb01fteen \ufb02oors that separated\nthem from the ground.\nAs he crawled, the dank air and dust choked his lungs, his eyes smarted and\nthe terrifying distance down made his heads spin.\nThe occasional remark from Marvin of the order of \u201dThis is the sort of thing\nyou lifeforms enjoy is it? I ask merely for information\u201d, did little to improve his\nstate of mind.\nAbout half-way down the side of the shattered building they stopped to\nrest. It seemed to Zaphod as he lay there panting with fear and exhaustion that\nMarvin seemed a mite more cheerful than usual. Eventually he realized this\nwasn\u2019t so. The robot just seemed cheerful in comparison with his own mood.\nA large, scraggy black bird came \ufb02apping through the slowly settling clouds\nof dust and, stretching down its scrawny legs, landed on an inclined window\nledge a couple of yards from Zaphod. It folded its ungainly wings and teetered\nawkwardly on its perch.\nIts wingspan must have been something like six feet, and its head and neck\nseemed curiously large for a bird. Its face was \ufb02at, the beak underdeveloped,\nand half-way along the underside of its wings the vestiges of something handlike\ncould be clearly seen.", "9fa03556-08b3-4b7d-ae1f-7168f5335976": "49\nIn fact, it looked almost human.\nIt turned its heavy eyes on Zaphod and clicked its beak in a desultory fashion.\n- Go away, - said Zaphod.\n- OK, - muttered the bird morosely and \ufb02apped o\ufb00 into the dust again.\nZaphod watched its departure in bewilderment.\n- Did that bird just talk to me? - he asked Marvin nervously. He was quite\nprepared to believe the alternative explanation, that he was in fact hallucinating.\n- Yes, - con\ufb01rmed Marvin.\n- Poor souls, - said a deep, ethereal voice in Zaphod\u2019s ear.\nTwisting round violently to \ufb01nd the source of the voice nearly caused Zaphod\nto fall o\ufb00 the building. He grabbed savagely at a protruding window \ufb01tting and\ncut his hand on it. He hung on, breathing heavily.\nThe voice had no visible source whatever - there was no one there. Never-\ntheless, it spoke again.\n- A tragic history behind them, you know. A terrible blight.\nZaphod looked wildly about. The voice was deep and quiet. In other cir-\ncumstances it would even be described as soothing. There is, however, nothing\nsoothing about being addressed by a disembodied voice out of nowhere, partic-\nularly if you are, like Zaphod Beeblebrox, not at your best and hanging from a\nledge eight storeys up a crashed building.\n- Hey, er... - he stammered.\n- Shall I tell you their story? - inquired the voice quietly.\n- Hey, who are you? - panted Zaphod. - Where are you?\n- Later then, perhaps, - murmured the voice. - I am Gargravarr. I am the\nCustodian of the Total Perspective Vortex.\n- Why can\u2019t I see...\n- You will \ufb01nd your progress down the building greatly facilitated, - the voice\nlifted, - if you move about two yards to your left. Why don\u2019t you try it?\nZaphod looked and saw a series of short horizontal grooves leading all the\nway down the side of the building. Gratefully he shifted himself across to them.\n- Why don\u2019t I see you again at the bottom? - said the voice in his ear, and\nas it spoke it faded.\n- Hey, - called out Zaphod, - Where are you...\n- It\u2019ll only take a couple of minutes... - said the voice very faintly.\n- Marvin, - said Zaphod earnestly to the robot squatting dejectedly next to\nhim, - Did a... did a voice just...\n- Yes, - Marvin replied tersely.\nZaphod nodded. He took out his Peril Sensitive Sunglasses again. They were\ncompletely black, and by now quite badly scratched by the unexpected metal\nobject in his pocket. He put them on. He would \ufb01nd his way down the building\nmore comfortably if he didn\u2019t actually have to look at what he was doing.\nMinutes later he clambered over the ripped and mangled foundations of the\nbuilding and, once more removing his sunglasses, he dropped to the ground.\nMarvin joined him a moment or so later and lay face down in the dust and\nrubble, from which position he seemed too disinclined to move.\n- Ah, there you are, - said the voice suddenly in Zaphod\u2019s ear, - excuse me\nleaving you like that, it\u2019s just that I have a terrible head for heights. At least,\n- it added wistfully, - I did have a terrible head for heights.", "4e7f8b59-3ac4-4468-8e96-96437e5a3106": "50 CHAPTER 9.\nZaphod looked around slowly and carefully, just to see if he had missed\nsomething which might be the source of the voice. All he saw, however, was the\ndust, the rubble and the towering hulks of the encircling buildings.\n- Hey, er, why can\u2019t I see you? - he said, - why aren\u2019t you here?\n- I am here, - said the voice slowly, - my body wanted to come but it\u2019s a bit\nbusy at the moment. Things to do, people to see. - After what seemed like a\nsort of ethereal sigh it added, - You know how it is with bodies.\nZaphod wasn\u2019t sure about this.\n- I thought I did, - he said.\n- I only hope it\u2019s gone for a rest cure, - continued the voice, - the way it\u2019s\nbeen living recently it must be on its last elbows.\n- Elbows? - said Zaphod, - don\u2019t you mean last legs?\nThe voice said nothing for a while. Zaphod looked around uneasily. He\ndidn\u2019t know if it was gone or was still there or what it was doing. Then the\nvoice spoke again.\n- So, you are to be put into the Vortex, yes?\n- Er, well, - said Zaphod with a very poor attempt at nonchalance, - this\ncat\u2019s in no hurry, you know. I can just slouch about and take in a look at the\nlocal scenery, you know?\n- Have you seen the local scenery? - asked the voice of Gargravarr.\n- Er, no.\nZaphod clambered over the rubble, and rounded the corner of one of the\nwrecked buildings that was obscuring his view.\nHe looked out at the landscape of Frogstar World B.\n- Ah, OK, - he said, - I\u2019ll just sort of slouch about then.\n- No, - said Gargravarr, - the Vortex is ready for you now. You must come.\nFollow me.\n- Er, yeah? - said Zaphod, - and how am I meant to do that?\n- I\u2019ll hum for you, - said Gargravarr, - follow the humming.\nA soft keening sound drifted through the air, a pale, sad sound that seemed\nto be without any kind of focus. It was only by listening very carefully that\nZaphod was able to detect the direction from which it was coming. Slowly,\ndazedly, he stumbled o\ufb00 in its wake. What else was there to do?", "af942090-3210-44db-bddb-4cc3842e1364": "Chapter 10\nThe Universe, as has been observed before, is an unsettlingly big place, a fact\nwhich for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore.\nMany would happily move to somewhere rather smaller of their own devising,\nand this is what most beings in fact do.\nFor instance, in one corner of the Eastern Galactic Arm lies the large forest\nplanet Oglaroon, the entire \u201dintelligent\u201d population of which lives permanently\nin one fairly small and crowded nut tree. In which tree they are born, live,\nfall in love, carve tiny speculative articles in the bark on the meaning of life,\nthe futility of death and the importance of birth control, \ufb01ght a few extremely\nminor wars, and eventually die strapped to the underside of some of the less\naccessible outer branches.\nIn fact the only Oglaroonians who ever leave their tree are those who are\nhurled out of it for the heinous crime of wondering whether any of the other\ntrees might be capable of supporting life at all, or indeed whether the other trees\nare anything other than illusions brought on by eating too many Oglanuts.\nExotic though this behaviour may seem, there is no life form in the Galaxy\nwhich is not in some way guilty of the same thing, which is why the Total\nPerspective Vortex is as horri\ufb01c as it is.\nFor when you are put into the Vortex you are given just one momentary\nglimpse of the entire unimaginable in\ufb01nity of creation, and somewhere in it a\ntiny little marker, a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot, which says \u201dYou are\nhere.\u201d\nThe grey plain stretched before Zaphod, a ruined, shattered plain. The wind\nwhipped wildly over it.\nVisible in the middle was the steel pimple of the dome. This, gathered\nZaphod, was where he was going. This was the Total Perspective Vortex.\nAs he stood and gazed bleakly at it, a sudden inhuman wail of terror em-\nanated from it as of a man having his soul burnt from his body. It screamed\nabove the wind and died away.\nZaphod started with fear and his blood seemed to turn to liquid helium.\n- Hey, what was that? - he muttered voicelessly.\n- A recording, - said Gargravarr, - of the last man who was put in the Vortex.\nIt is always played to the next victim. A sort of prelude.\n- Hey, it really sounds bad... - stammered Zaphod, - couldn\u2019t we maybe\nslope o\ufb00 to a party or something for a while, think it over?\n- For all I know, - said Gargravarr\u2019s ethereal voice, - I\u2019m probably at one.\nMy body that is. It goes to a lot of parties without me. Says I only get in the\n51", "fe4d4481-bc26-43cf-95c5-adc53843e70d": "52 CHAPTER 10.\nway. Hey ho.\n- What is all this with your body? - said Zaphod, anxious to delay whatever\nit was that was going to happen to him.\n- Well, it\u2019s... it\u2019s busy you know, - said Gargravarr hesitantly.\n- You mean it\u2019s got a mind of its own? - said Zaphod.\nThere was a long and slightly chilly pause before Gargravarr spoke again.\n- I have to say, - he replied eventually, - that I \ufb01nd that remark in rather\npoor taste.\nZaphod muttered a bewildered and embarrassed apology.\n- No matter, - said Gargravarr, - you weren\u2019t to know.\nThe voice \ufb02uttered unhappily.\n- The truth is, - it continued in tones which suggested he was trying very\nhard to keep it under control, - the truth is that we are currently undergoing a\nperiod of legal trial separation. I suspect it will end in divorce.\nThe voice was still again, leaving Zaphod with no idea of what to say. He\nmumbled uncertainly.\n- I think we are probably not very well suited, - said Gargravarr again at\nlength, - we never seemed to be happy doing the same things. We always had\nthe greatest arguments over sex and \ufb01shing. Eventually we tried to combine the\ntwo, but that only led to disaster, as you can probably imagine. And now my\nbody refuses to let me in. It won\u2019t even see me...\nHe paused again, tragically. The wind whipped across the plain.\n- It says I only inhibit it. I pointed out that in fact I was meant to inhibit\nit, and it said that that was exactly the sort of smart alec remark that got right\nup a body\u2019s left nostril, and so we left it. It will probably get custody of my\nforename.\n- Oh... - said Zaphod faintly, - and what\u2019s that?\n- Pizpot, - said the voice, - My name is Pizpot Gargravarr. Says it all really\ndoesn\u2019t it?\n- Errr... - said Zaphod sympathetically.\n- And that is why I, as a disembodied mind, have this job, Custodian of the\nTotal Perspective Vortex. No one will ever walk on the ground of this planet.\nExcept the victims of the Vortex - they don\u2019t really count I\u2019m afraid.\n- Ah...\n- I\u2019ll tell you the story. Would you like to hear it?\n- Er...\n- Many years ago this was a thriving, happy planet - people, cities shops, a\nnormal world. Except that on the high streets of these cities there were slightly\nmore shoe shops than one might have thought necessary. And slowly, insidiously,\nthe numbers of these shoe shops were increasing. It\u2019s a well known economic\nphenomenon but tragic to see it in operation, for the more shoe shops there\nwere, the more shoes they had to make and the worse and more unwearable\nthey became. And the worse they were to wear, the more people had to buy\nto keep themselves shod, and the more the shops proliferated, until the whole\neconomy of the place passed what I believe is termed the Shoe Event Horizon,\nand it became no longer economically possible to build anything other than\nshoe shops. Result - collapse, ruin and famine. Most of the population died\nout. Those few who had the right kind of genetic instability mutated into birds\n- you\u2019ve seen one of them - who cursed their feet, cursed the ground, and vowed", "b80e5d52-9392-4959-a7f5-2a8e5589fed0": "53\nthat none should walk on it again. Unhappy lot. Come, I must take you to the\nVortex.\nZaphod shook his head in bemusement and stumbled forward across the\nplain.\n- And you, - he said, - you come from this hellhole pit do you?\n- No no, - said Gargravarr, taken aback, - I come from the Frogstar World\nC. Beautiful place. Wonderful \ufb01shing. I \ufb02it back there in the evenings. Though\nall I can do now is watch. The Total Perspective Vortex is the only thing on\nthis planet with any function. It was built here because no one else wanted it\non their doorstep.\nAt that moment another dismal scream rent the air and Zaphod shuddered.\n- What can do that to a guy? - he breathed.\n- The Universe, - said Gargravarr simply, - the whole in\ufb01nite Universe. The\nin\ufb01nite suns, the in\ufb01nite distances between them, and yourself an invisible dot\non an invisible dot, in\ufb01nitely small.\n- Hey, I\u2019m Zaphod Beeblebrox, man, you know, - muttered Zaphod trying\nto \ufb02ap the last remnants of his ego.\nGargravarr made no reply, but merely resumed his mournful humming till\nthey reached the tarnished steel dome in the middle of the plain.\nAs they reached it, a door hummed open in the side, revealing a small\ndarkened chamber within.\n- Enter, - said Gargravarr.\nZaphod started with fear.\n- Hey, what, now? - he said.\n- Now.\nZaphod peered nervously inside. The chamber was very small. It was steel-\nlined and there was hardly space in it for more than one man.\n- It... er... it doesn\u2019t look like any kind of Vortex to me, - said Zaphod.\n- It isn\u2019t, - said Gargravarr, - it\u2019s just the elevator. Enter.\nWith in\ufb01nite trepidation Zaphod stepped into it. He was aware of Gargravarr\nbeing in the elevator with him, though the disembodied man was not for the\nmoment speaking.\nThe elevator began its descent.\n- I must get myself into the right frame of mind for this, - muttered Zaphod.\n- There is no right frame of mind, - said Gargravarr sternly.\n- You really know how to make a guy feel inadequate.\n- I don\u2019t. The Vortex does.\nAt the bottom of the shaft, the rear of the elevator opened up and Zaphod\nstumbled out into a smallish, functional, steel-lined chamber.\nAt the far side of it stood a single upright steel box, just large enough for a\nman to stand in.\nIt was that simple.\nIt connected to a small pile of components and instruments via a single thick\nwire.\n- Is that it? - said Zaphod in surprise.\n- That is it.\nDidn\u2019t look too bad, thought Zaphod.\n- And I get in there do I? - said Zaphod.\n- You get in there, - said Gargravarr, - and I\u2019m afraid you must do it now.\n- OK, OK, - said Zaphod.", "4ccf3320-487d-4115-a33c-fe485be2c0cb": "54 CHAPTER 10.\nHe opened the door of the box and stepped in.\nInside the box he waited.\nAfter \ufb01ve seconds there was a click, and the entire Universe was there in the\nbox with him.", "1dd31d72-bd45-4621-8aee-04d1b28275ab": "Chapter 11\nThe Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the\nprinciple of extrapolated matter analyses.\nTo explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way\na\ufb00ected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible\nto extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their\ncomposition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of\nfairy cake.\nThe man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order\nto annoy his wife.\nTrin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative\nphilosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.\nAnd she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of\ntime he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety\npins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake.\n- Have some sense of proportion! - she would say, sometimes as often as\nthirty-eight times in a single day.\nAnd so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.\nAnd into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a\npiece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he\nturned it on she saw in one instant the whole in\ufb01nity of creation and herself in\nrelation to it.\nTo Trin Tragula\u2019s horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to\nhis satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going\nto exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot a\ufb00ord to have is\na sense of proportion.\nThe door of the Vortex swung open.\nFrom his disembodied mind Gargravarr watched dejectedly. He had rather\nliked Zaphod Beeblebrox in a strange sort of way. He was clearly a man of many\nqualities, even if they were mostly bad ones.\nHe waited for him to \ufb02op forwards out of the box, as they all did.\nInstead, he stepped out.\n- Hi! - he said.\n- Beeblebrox... - gasped Gargravarr\u2019s mind in amazement.\n- Could I have a drink please? - said Zaphod.\n- You... you... have been in the Vortex? - stammered Gargravarr.\n- You saw me, kid.\n- And it was working?\n55", "2319f188-d9a5-4305-8aad-edfe6b08c301": "56 CHAPTER 11.\n- Sure was.\n- And you saw the whole in\ufb01nity of creation?\n- Sure. Really neat place, you know that?\nGargravarr\u2019s mind was reeling in astonishment. Had his body been with him\nit would have sat down heavily with its mouth hanging open.\n- And you saw yourself, - said Gargravarr, - in relation to it all?\n- Oh, yeah, yeah.\n- But... what did you experience?\nZaphod shrugged smugly.\n- It just told me what I knew all the time. I\u2019m a really terri\ufb01c and great\nguy. Didn\u2019t I tell you, baby, I\u2019m Zaphod Beeblebrox!\nHis gaze passed over the machinery which powered the vortex and suddenly\nstopped, startled.\nHe breathed heavily.\n- Hey, - he said, - is that really a piece of fairy cake?\nHe ripped the small piece of confectionery from the sensors with which it\nwas surrounded.\n- If I told you how much I needed this, - he said ravenously, - I wouldn\u2019t\nhave time to eat it.\nHe ate it.", "f4ddd71f-6e60-4972-ac76-d817f2c354ed": "Chapter 12\nA short while later he was running across the plain in the direction of the ruined\ncity.\nThe dank air wheezed heavily in his lungs and he frequently stumbled with\nthe exhaustion he was still feeling. Night was beginning to fall too, and the\nrough ground was treacherous.\nThe elation of his recent experience was still with him though. The whole\nUniverse. He had seen the whole Universe stretching to in\ufb01nity around him -\neverything. And with it had come the clear and extraordinary knowledge that\nhe was the most important thing in it. Having a conceited ego is one thing.\nActually being told by a machine is another.\nHe didn\u2019t have time to re\ufb02ect on this matter.\nGargravarr had told him that he would have to alert his masters as to what\nhad happened, but that he was prepared to leave a decent interval before doing\nso. Enough time for Zaphod to make a break and \ufb01nd somewhere to hide.\nWhat he was going to do he didn\u2019t know, but feeling that he was the most\nimportant person in the Universe gave him the con\ufb01dence to believe that some-\nthing would turn up.\nNothing else on this blighted planet could give him much grounds for opti-\nmism.\nHe ran on, and soon reached the outskirts of the abandoned city.\nHe walked along cracked and gaping roads riddled with scrawny weeds, the\nholes \ufb01lled with rotting shoes. The buildings he passed were so crumbled and\ndecrepit he thought it unsafe to enter any of them. Where could he hide? He\nhurried on.\nAfter a while the remains of a wide sweeping road led o\ufb00 from the one down\nwhich he was walking, and at its end lay a vast low building, surrounded with\nsundry smaller ones, the whole surrounded by the remains of a perimeter barrier.\nThe large main building still seemed reasonably solid, and Zaphod turned o\ufb00 to\nsee if it might provide him with... well with anything.\nHe approached the building. Along one side of it - the front it would seem\nsince it faced a wide concreted apron area - were three gigantic doors, maybe\nsixty feet high. The far one of these was open, and towards this, Zaphod ran.\nInside, all was gloom, dust and confusion. Giant cobwebs lay over everything.\nPart of the infrastructure of the building had collapsed, part of the rear wall\nhad caved in, and a thick choking dust lay inches over the \ufb02oor.\nThrough the heavy gloom huge shapes loomed, covered with debris.\nThe shapes were sometimes cylindrical, sometimes bulbous, sometimes like\n57", "a4861b27-67d9-4257-bb4e-875d7b457a3e": "58 CHAPTER 12.\neggs, or rather cracked eggs. Most of them were split open or falling apart, some\nwere mere skeletons.\nThey were all spacecraft, all derelict.\nZaphod wandered in frustration among the hulks. There was nothing here\nthat remotely approached the serviceable. Even the mere vibration of his foot-\nsteps caused one precarious wreck to collapse further into itself.\nTowards the rear of the building lay one old ship, slightly larger than the\nothers, and buried beneath even deeper piles of dust and cobwebs. Its outline,\nhowever, seemed unbroken. Zaphod approached it with interest, and as he did\nso, he tripped over an old feedline.\nHe tried to toss the feedline aside, and to his surprise discovered that it was\nstill connected to the ship.\nTo his utter astonishment he realized that the feedline was also humming\nslightly.\nHe stared at the ship in disbelief, and then back down at the feedline in his\nhands.\nHe tore o\ufb00 his jacket and threw it aside. Crawling along on his hands and\nknees he followed the feedline to the point where it connected with the ship.\nThe connection was sound, and the slight humming vibration was more distinct.\nHis heart was beating fast. He wiped away some grime and laid an ear\nagainst the ship\u2019s side. He could only hear a faint, indeterminate noise.\nHe rummaged feverishly amongst the debris lying on the \ufb02oor all about him\nand found a short length of tubing, and a nonbiodegradable plastic cup. Out of\nthis he fashioned a crude stethoscope and placed it against the side of the ship.\nWhat he heard made his brains turn somersaults.\nThe voice said:\n- Transtellar Cruise Lines would like to apologize to passengers for the con-\ntinuing delay to this \ufb02ight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our com-\nplement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and\nhygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The\ncabin crew will shortly be serving co\ufb00ee and biscuits again.\nZaphod staggered backwards, staring wildly at the ship.\nHe walked around for a few moments in a daze. In so doing he suddenly\ncaught sight of a giant departure board still hanging, but by only one support,\nfrom the ceiling above him. It was covered with grime, but some of the \ufb01gures\nwere still discernible.\nZaphod\u2019s eyes searched amongst the \ufb01gures, then made some brief calcula-\ntions. His eyes widened.\n- Nine hundred years... - he breathed to himself. That was how late the ship\nwas.\nTwo minutes later he was on board.\nAs he stepped out of the airlock, the air that greeted him was cool and fresh\n- the air conditioning was still working.\nThe lights were still on.\nHe moved out of the small entrance chamber into a short narrow corridor\nand stepped nervously down it.\nSuddenly a door opened and a \ufb01gure stepped out in front of him.\n- Please return to your seat sir, - said the android stewardess and, turning\nher back on him, she walked on down the corridor in front of him.", "bf54da9d-eb77-41bf-8289-215eff7b61c2": "59\nWhen his heart had started beating again he followed her. She opened the\ndoor at the end of the corridor and walked through.\nHe followed her through the door.\nThey were now in the passenger compartment and Zaphod\u2019s heart stopped\nstill again for a moment.\nIn every seat sat a passenger, strapped into his or her seat.\nThe passengers\u2019 hair was long and unkempt, their \ufb01ngernails were long, the\nmen wore beards.\nAll of them were quite clearly alive - but sleeping.\nZaphod had the creeping horrors.\nHe walked slowly down the aisle as in a dream. By the time he was half-way\ndown the aisle, the stewardess had reached the other end. She turned and spoke.\n- Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, - she said sweetly, - Thank you for\nbearing with us during this slight delay. We will be taking o\ufb00 as soon as we\npossibly can. If you would like to wake up now I will serve you co\ufb00ee and\nbiscuits.\nThere was a slight hum.\nAt that moment, all the passengers awoke.\nThey awoke screaming and clawing at their straps and life support systems\nthat held them tightly in their seats. They screamed and bawled and hollered\ntill Zaphod thought his ears would shatter.\nThey struggled and writhed as the stewardess patiently moved up the aisle\nplacing a small cup of co\ufb00ee and a packet of biscuits in front of each one of\nthem.\nThen one of them rose from his seat.\nHe turned and looked at Zaphod.\nZaphod\u2019s skin was crawling all over his body as if it was trying to get o\ufb00.\nHe turned and ran from the bedlam.\nHe plunged through the door and back into the corridor.\nThe man pursued him.\nHe raced in a frenzy to the end of the corridor, through the entrance chamber\nand beyond. He arrived on the \ufb02ight deck, slammed and bolted the door behind\nhim. He leant back against the door breathing hard.\nWithin seconds, a hand started beating on the door.\nFrom somewhere on the \ufb02ight deck a metallic voice addressed him.\n- Passengers are not allowed on the \ufb02ight deck. Please return to your seat,\nand wait for the ship to take o\ufb00. Co\ufb00ee and biscuits are being served. This is\nyour autopilot speaking. Please return to your seat.\nZaphod said nothing. He breathed hard, behind him, the hand continued to\nknock on the door.\n- Please return to your seat, - repeated the autopilot. - Passengers are not\nallowed on the \ufb02ight deck.\n- I\u2019m not a passenger, - panted Zaphod.\n- Please return to your seat.\n- I am not a passenger! - shouted Zaphod again.\n- Please return to your seat.\n- I am not a... hello, can you hear me?\n- Please return to your seat.\nYou\u2019re the autopilot?\u201d said Zaphod.\n- Yes, - said the voice from the \ufb02ight console.", "3f23ea9b-2b56-463c-917f-e39a5529ba3d": "60 CHAPTER 12.\n- You\u2019re in charge of this ship?\n- Yes, - said the voice again, - there has been a delay. Passengers are to be\nkept temporarily in suspended animation, for their comfort and convenience.\nCo\ufb00ee and biscuits are being served every year, after which passengers are re-\nturned to suspended animation for their continued comfort and convenience.\nDeparture will take place when the \ufb02ight stores are complete. We apologize for\nthe delay.\nZaphod moved away from the door, on which the pounding had now ceased.\nHe approached the \ufb02ight console.\n- Delay? - he cried, - Have you seen the world outside this ship? It\u2019s a\nwasteland, a desert. Civilization\u2019s been and gone, man. There are no lemon-\nsoaked paper napkins on the way from anywhere!\n- The statistical likelihood, - continued the autopilot primly, - is that other\ncivilizations will arise. There will one day be lemon-soaked paper napkins. Till\nthen there will be a short delay. Please return to your seat.\n- But...\nBut at that moment the door opened. Zaphod span round to see the man\nwho had pursued him standing there. He carried a large briefcase. He was\nsmartly dressed, and his hair was short. He had no beard and no long \ufb01ngernails.\n- Zaphod Beeblebrox, - he said, - My name is Zarniwoop. I believe you\nwanted to see me.\nZaphod Beeblebrox wittered. His mouths said foolish things. He dropped\ninto a chair.\n- Oh man, oh man, where did you spring from? - he said.\n- I\u2019ve been waiting here for you, - he said in a businesslike tone.\nHe put the briefcase down and sat in another chair.\n- I am glad you followed instructions, - he said, - I was a bit nervous that\nyou might have left my o\ufb03ce by the door rather than the window. Then you\nwould have been in trouble.\nZaphod shook his heads at him and burbled.\n- When you entered the door of my o\ufb03ce, you entered my electronically\nsynthesized Universe, - he explained, - if you had left by the door you would\nhave been back in the real one. The arti\ufb01cial one works from here.\nHe patted the briefcase smugly.\nZaphod glared at him with resentment and loathing.\n- What\u2019s the di\ufb00erence? - he muttered.\n- Nothing, - said Zarniwoop, - they are identical. Oh - except that I think\nthe Frogstar Fighters are grey in the real Universe.\n- What\u2019s going on? - spat Zaphod.\n- Simple, - said Zarniwoop. His self assurance and smugness made Zaphod\nseethe.\n- Very simple, - repeated Zarniwoop, - I discovered the coordinated at which\nthis man could be found - the man who rules the Universe, and discovered that\nhis world was protected by an Unprobability \ufb01eld. To protect my secret - and\nmyself - I retreated to the safety of this totally arti\ufb01cial Universe and hid myself\naway in a forgotten cruise liner. I was secure. Meanwhile, you and I...\n- You and I? - said Zaphod angrily, - you mean I knew you?\n- Yes, - said Zarniwoop, - we knew each other well.\n- I had no taste, - said Zaphod and resumed a sullen silence.", "0a44eb03-450c-403a-b6b3-8737cd1501f7": "61\n- Meanwhile, you and I arranged that you would steal the Improbability\nDrive ship - the only one which could reach the ruler\u2019s world - and bring it to\nme here. This you have now done I trust, and I congratulate you. - He smiled\na tight little smile which Zaphod wanted to hit with a brick.\n- Oh, and in case you were wondering, - added Zarniwoop, - this Universe was\ncreated speci\ufb01cally for you to come to. You are therefore the most important\nperson in this Universe. You would never, - he said with an even more brickable\nsmile, - have survived the Total Perspective Vortex in the real one. Shall we\ngo?\n- Where? - said Zaphod sullenly. He felt collapsed.\n- To your ship. The Heart of Gold. You did bring it I trust?\n- No.\n- Where is your jacket?\nZaphod looked at him in mysti\ufb01cation.\n- My jacket? I took it o\ufb00. It\u2019s outside.\n- Good, we will go and \ufb01nd it.\nZarniwoop stood up and gestured to Zaphod to follow him.\nOut in the entrance chamber again, they could hear the screams of the\npassengers being fed co\ufb00ee and biscuits.\n- It has not been a pleasant experience waiting for you, - said Zarniwoop.\n- Not pleasant for you! - bawled Zaphod, - How do you think...\nZarniwoop held up a silencing \ufb01nger as the hatchway swung open. A few\nfeet away from them they could see Zaphod\u2019s jacket lying in the debris.\n- A very remarkable and very powerful ship, - said Zarniwoop, - watch.\nAs they watched, the pocket on the jacket suddenly bulged. It split, it\nripped. The small metal model of the Heart of Gold that Zaphod had been\nbewildered to discover in his pocket was growing.\nIt grew, it continued to grow. It reached, after two minutes, its full size.\n- At an Improbability Level, - said Zarniwoop, - of... oh I don\u2019t know, but\nsomething very large.\nZaphod swayed.\n- You mean I had it with me all the time?\n- Zarniwoop smiled. He lifted up his briefcase and opened it.\nHe twisted a single switch inside it.\n- Goodbye arti\ufb01cial Universe, - he said, - hello real one!\nThe scene before them shimmered brie\ufb02y - and reappeared exactly as before.\n- You see? - said Zarniwoop, - exactly the same.\n- You mean, - repeated Zaphod tautly, - that I had it with me all the time?\n- Oh yes, - said Zarniwoop, - of course. That was the whole point.\n- That\u2019s it, - said Zaphod, - you can count me out, from hereon in you can\ncount me out. I\u2019ve had all I want of this. You play your own games.\n- I\u2019m afraid you cannot leave, - said Zarniwoop, - you are entwined in the\nImprobability \ufb01eld. You cannot escape.\nHe smiled the smile that Zaphod had wanted to hit and this time Zaphod\nhit it.", "a256ace6-2c14-4d7a-bc81-d82c18d59333": "62 CHAPTER 12.", "afdf812e-b5b1-41d8-82be-a7272ccf4455": "Chapter 13\nFord Prefect bounded up to the bridge of the Heart of Gold.\n- Trillian! Arthur! - he shouted, - it\u2019s working! The ship\u2019s reactivated!\nTrillian and Arthur were asleep on the \ufb02oor.\n- Come on you guys, we\u2019re going o\ufb00, we\u2019re o\ufb00, - he said kicking them awake.\n- Hi there guys! - twittered the computer, - it\u2019s really great to be back with\nyou again, I can tell you, and I just want to say that...\n- Shut up, - said Ford, - tell us where the hell we are.\n- Frogstar World B, and man it\u2019s a dump, - said Zaphod running on to the\nbridge, - hi, guys, you must be so amazingly glad to see me you don\u2019t even \ufb01nd\nwords to tell me what a cool frood I am.\n- What a what? - said Arthur blearily, picking himself up from the \ufb02oor and\nnot taking any of this in.\n- I know how you feel, - said Zaphod, - I\u2019m so great even I get tongue-tied\ntalking to myself. Hey it\u2019s good to see you Trillian, Ford, Monkeyman. Hey, er,\ncomputer?..\n- Hi there, Mr Beeblebrox sir, sure is a great honor to...\n- Shut up and get us out of here, fast fast fast.\n- Sure thing, fella, where do you want to go?\n- Anywhere, doesn\u2019t matter, - shouted Zaphod, - yes it does! - he said again,\n- we want to go to the nearest place to eat!\n- Sure thing, - said the computer happily and a massive explosion rocket the\nbridge.\nWhen Zarniwoop entered a minute or so later with a black eye, he regarded\nthe four wisps of smoke with interest.\n63", "68a9c3e9-1158-4d06-a907-4b1e3c942a49": "64 CHAPTER 13.", "c3cfb887-ac90-4c8c-8ce9-7a0a5b32aa72": "Chapter 14\nFour inert bodies sank through spinning blackness. Consciousness had died,\ncold oblivion pulled the bodies down and down into the pit of unbeing. The\nroar of silence echoed dismally around them and they sank at last into a dark\nand bitter sea of heaving red that slowly engulfed them, seemingly for ever.\nAfter what seemed an eternity the sea receded and left them lying on a cold\nhard shore, the \ufb02otsam and jetsam of the stream of Life, the Universe, and\nEverything.\nCold spasms shook them, lights danced sickeningly around them. The cold\nhard shore tipped and span and then stood still. It shone darkly - it was a very\nhighly polished cold hard shore.\nA green blur watched them disapprovingly.\nIt coughed.\n- Good evening, madam, gentlemen, - it said, - do you have a reservation?\nFord Prefect\u2019s consciousness snapped back like elastic, making his brain\nsmart. He looked up woozily at the green blur.\n- Reservation? - he said weakly. - Yes, sir, - said the green blur.\n- Do you need a reservation for the afterlife?\nIn so far as it is possible for a green blur to arch its eyebrows disdainfully,\nthis is what the green blur now did.\n- Afterlife, sir? - it said.\nArthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with\na lost bar of soap in the bath.\n- Is this the afterlife? - he stammered.\n- Well I assume so, - said Ford Prefect trying to work out which way was\nup. He tested the theory that it must lie in the opposite direction from the cold\nhard shore on which he was lying, and staggered to what he hoped were his feet.\n- I mean, - he said, swaying gently, - there\u2019s no way we could have survived\nthat blast is there?\n- No, - muttered Arthur. He had raised himself on to his elbows but it didn\u2019t\nseem to improve things. He slumped down again.\n- No, - said Trillian, standing up, - no way at all.\nA dull hoarse gurgling sound came from the \ufb02oor. It was Zaphod Beeblebrox\nattempting to speak.\n- I certainly didn\u2019t survive, - he gurgled, - I was a total goner. Wham bang\nand that was it.\n- Yeah, thanks to you, - said Ford, - We didn\u2019t stand a chance. We must\nhave been blown to bits. Arms, legs everywhere.\n65", "3fc4fea9-7438-41de-96b8-ee6439aff854": "66 CHAPTER 14.\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod struggling noisily to his feet.\n- If the lady and gentlemen would like to order drinks... - said the green\nblur, hovering impatiently beside them.\n- Kerpow, splat, - continued Zaphod, - instantaneously zonked into our com-\nponent molecules. Hey, Ford, - he said, identifying one of the slowly solidifying\nblurs around him, - did you get that thing of your whole life \ufb02ashing before\nyou?\n- You got that too? - said Ford, - your whole life?\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, - at least I assume it was mine. I spent a lot of time\nout of my skulls you know.\nHe looked at around him at the various shapes that were at last becoming\nproper shapes instead of vague and wobbling shapeless shapes.\n- So... - he said.\n- So what? - said Ford.\n- So here we are, - said Zaphod hesitantly, - lying dead...\n- Standing, - Trillian corrected him.\n- Er, standing dead, - continued Zaphod, - in this desolate...\n- Restaurant, - said Arthur Dent who had got to his feet and could now,\nmuch to his surprise, see clearly. That is to say, the thing that surprised him\nwas not that he could see, but what he could see.\n- Here we are, - continued Zaphod doggedly, - standing dead in this desolate...\n- Five star... - said Trillian.\n- Restaurant, - concluded Zaphod.\n- Odd isn\u2019t it? - said Ford.\n- Er, yeah. -\n- Nice chandeliers though, - said Trillian.\nThey looked about themselves in bemusement.\n- It\u2019s not so much an afterlife, - said Arthur, - more a sort of apres vie.\nThe chandeliers were in fact a little on the \ufb02ashy side and the low vaulted\nceiling from which they hung would not, in an ideal Universe, have been painted\nin that particular shade of deep turquoise, and even if it had been it wouldn\u2019t\nhave been highlighted by concealed moodlighting. This is not, however, an ideal\nUniverse, as was further evidenced by the eye-crossing patterns of the inlaid\nmarble \ufb02oor, and the way in which the fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-\ntopped bar had been made. The fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-topped\nbar had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Antarean\nMosaic Lizard skins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand lizards concerned\nhad needed them to keep their insides in.\nA few smartly dressed creatures were lounging casually at the bar or relaxing\nin the richly coloured body-hugging seats that were deployed here and there\nabout the bar area. A young Vl\u2019Hurg o\ufb03cer and his green steaming young lady\npassed through the large smoked glass doors at the far end of the bar into the\ndazzling light of the main body of the Restaurant beyond.\nBehind Arthur was a large curtained bay window. He pulled aside the corner\nof the curtain and looked out at a landscape which under normal circumstances\nwould have given Arthur the creeping horrors. These were not, however, normal\ncircumstances, for the thing that froze his blood and made his skin try to crawl\nup his back and o\ufb00 the top of his head was the sky. The sky was...\nAn attendant \ufb02unkey politely drew the curtain back into place.\n- All in good time, sir, - he said.", "40a6d93f-2433-4813-a421-42e6d1705878": "67\nZaphod\u2019s eyes \ufb02ashed.\n- Hey, hang about you dead guys, - he said, - I think we\u2019re missing some\nultra-important thing here you know. Something somebody said and we missed\nit.\nArthur was profoundly relieved to turn his attention from what he had just\nseen.\nHe said:\n- I said it was a sort of apres...\n- Yeah, and don\u2019t you wish you hadn\u2019t? - said Zaphod, - Ford?\n- I said it was odd.\n- Yeah, shrewd but dull, perhaps it was...\n- Perhaps, - interrupted the green blur who had by this time resolved into\nthe shape of a small wizened dark-suited green waiter, - perhaps you would care\nto discuss the matter over drinks...\n- Drinks! - cried Zaphod, - that was it! See what you miss if you don\u2019t stay\nalert.\n- Indeed sir, - said the waiter patiently. - If the lady and gentlemen would\ncare to order drinks before dinner...\n- Dinner! - Zaphod exclaimed with passion, - Listen, little green person, my\nstomach could take you home and cuddle you all night for the mere idea.\n- ... and the Universe, - concluded the waiter, determined not to be de\ufb02ected\non his home stretch, - will explode later for your pleasure.\nFord\u2019s head swivelled towards him. He spoke with feeling.\n- Wow, - he said, - What sort of drinks do you serve in this place?\nThe waiter laughed a polite little waiter\u2019s laugh.\n- Ah, - he said, - I think sir has perhaps misunderstood me.\n- Oh, I hope not, - breathed Ford.\nThe waiter coughed a polite little waiter\u2019s cough.\n- It is not unusual for our customers to be a little disoriented by the time\njourney, - he said, - so if I might suggest...\n- Time journey? - said Zaphod.\n- Time journey? - said Ford.\n- Time journey? - said Trillian.\n- You mean this isn\u2019t the afterlife? - said Arthur.\nThe waiter smiled a polite little waiter\u2019s smile. He had almost exhausted\nhis polite little waiter repertoire and would soon be slipping into his role of a\nrather tight lipped and sarcastic little waiter.\n- Afterlife sir? - he said, - No sir.\n- And we\u2019re not dead? - said Arthur.\nThe waiter tightened his lips.\n- Aha, ha, - he said, - Sir is most evidently alive, otherwise I would not\nattempt to serve sir.\nIn an extraordinary gesture which is pointless attempting to describe, Za-\nphod Beeblebrox slapped both his foreheads with two of his arms and one of his\nthighs with the other.\n- Hey guys, - he said, - This is crazy. We \ufb01nally did it. We \ufb01nally got to\nwhere we were going. This is Milliways!\n- Yes sir, - said the waiter, laying on the patience with a trowel, - this is\nMilliways - the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.\n- End of what? - said Arthur.", "23d58795-5468-480e-a34c-39ea8588ea1e": "68 CHAPTER 14.\n- The Universe, - repeated the waiter, very clearly and unnecessarily dis-\ntinctly.\n- When did that end? - said Arthur.\n- In just a few minutes, sir, - said the waiter. He took a deep breath. He\ndidn\u2019t need to do this since his body was supplied with the peculiar assortment\nof gases it required for survival from a small intravenous device strapped to his\nleg. There are times, however, when whatever your metabolism you have to\ntake a deep breath.\n- Now, if you would care to order drinks at last, - he said, - I will then show\nyou to your table.\nZaphod grinned two manic grins, sauntered over to the bar and bought most\nof it.", "b59b6c76-70f2-43cd-b88f-2c578cd8a090": "Chapter 15\nThe Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary\nventures in the entire history of catering. It has been built on the fragmented\nremains of... it will be built on the fragmented... that is to say it will have been\nbuilt by this time, and indeed has been.\nOne of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of acci-\ndentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved\nin becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted\nfamily can\u2019t cope with. There is also no problem about changing the course of\nhistory - the course of history does not change because it all \ufb01ts together like a\njigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were\nsupposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.\nThe major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to\nconsult in this matter is Dr Dan Streetmentioner\u2019s Time Traveller\u2019s Handbook of\n1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you for instance how to describe something\nthat was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-\njumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described\ndi\ufb00erently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of\nyour own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further\npast and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations\nwhilst you are actually travelling from one time to another with the intention\nof becoming your own father or mother.\nMost readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modi\ufb01ed Subin-\nverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later\neditions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save\non printing costs.\nThe Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of aca-\ndemic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term \u201dFuture Perfect\u201d has been\nabandoned since it was discovered not to be.\nTo resume:\nThe Restaurant at the End of the Universe is one of the most extraordinary\nventures in the entire history of catering.\nIt is built on the fragmented remains of an eventually ruined planet which is\n(wioll haven be) enclosed in a vast time bubble and projected forward in time\nto the precise moment of the End of the Universe.\nThis is, many would say, impossible.\nIn it, guests take (willan on-take) their places at table and eat (willan on-\neat) sumptuous meals whilst watching (willing watchen) the whole of creation\n69", "d25d3265-bb69-4ab4-a81d-36eaee94a952": "70 CHAPTER 15.\nexplode around them.\nThis is, many would say, equally impossible.\nYou can arrive (mayan arivan on-when) for any sitting you like without prior\n(late fore-when) reservation because you can book retrospectively, as it were\nwhen you return to your own time. (you can have on-book haventa forewhen\npresooning returningwenta retrohome.)\nThis is, many would now insist, absolutely impossible.\nAt the Restaurant you can meet and dine with (mayan meetan con with\ndinan on when) a fascinating cross-section of the entire population of space and\ntime.\nThis, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible.\nYou can visit it as many times as you like (mayan on-visit reonvisiting... and\nso on - for further tense-corrections consult Dr Streetmentioner\u2019s book) and be\nsure of never meeting yourself, because of the embarrassment this usually causes.\nThis, even if the rest were true, which it isn\u2019t, is patently impossible, say\nthe doubters.\nAll you have to do is deposit one penny in a savings account in your own era,\nand when you arrive at the End of Time the operation of compound interest\nmeans that the fabulous cost of your meal has been paid for.\nThis, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane, which is why\nthe advertising executives of the star system of Bastablon came up with this\nslogan: \u201dIf you\u2019ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it o\ufb00\nwith breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?\u201d", "79ef127f-9a49-4ad4-9f70-b489f8dba08a": "Chapter 16\nAt the bar, Zaphod was rapidly becoming as tired as a newt. His heads knocked\ntogether and his smiles were coming out of synch. He was miserably happy.\n- Zaphod, - said Ford, - whilst you\u2019re still capable of speech, would you care\nto tell me what the photon happened? Where have you been? Where have we\nbeen? Small matter, but I\u2019d like it cleared up.\nZaphod\u2019s left head sobered up, leaving his right to sink further into the\nobscurity of drink.\n- Yeah, - he said, - I\u2019ve been around. They want me to \ufb01nd the man who\nrules the Universe, but I don\u2019t care to meet him. I believe the man can\u2019t cook.\nHis left head watched his right head saying this and then nodded.\n- True, - it said, - have another drink.\nFord had another Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the drink which has been\ndescribed as the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging - expensive and bad for the\nhead. Whatever had happened, Ford decided, he didn\u2019t really care too much.\n- Listen Ford, - said Zaphod, - everything\u2019s cool and froody.\n- You mean everything\u2019s under control.\n- No, - said Zaphod, - I do not mean everything\u2019s under control. That would\nnot be cool and froody. If you want to know what happened let\u2019s just say I had\nthe whole situation in my pocket. OK?\nFord shrugged.\nZaphod giggled into his drink. It frothed up over the side of the glass and\nstarted to eat its way into the marble bar top.\nA wild-skinned sky-gypsy approached them and played electric violin at\nthem until Zaphod gave him a lot of money and he agreed to go away again.\nThe gypsy approached Arthur and Trillian sitting in another part of the bar.\n- I don\u2019t know what this place is, - said Arthur, - but I think it gives me the\ncreeps.\n- Have another drink, - said Trillian, - Enjoy yourself.\n- Which? - said Arthur, - the two are mutually exclusive.\n- Poor Arthur, you\u2019re not really cut out for this life are you?\n- You call this life?\n- You\u2019re beginning to sound like Marvin.\n- Marvin\u2019s the clearest thinker I know. How do you think we make this\nviolinist go away?\nThe waiter approached.\n- Your table is ready, - he said.\n71", "6d56d738-e1bd-43de-afa8-fa2f7d069473": "72 CHAPTER 16.\nSeen from the outside, which it never is, the Restaurant resembles a giant\nglittering star\ufb01sh beached on a forgotten rock. Each of its arms houses the bars,\nthe kitchens, the force\ufb01eld generators which protect the entire structure and the\ndecayed planet on which it sits, and the Time Turbines which slowly rock the\nwhole a\ufb00air backwards and forwards across the crucial moment.\nIn the centre sits the gigantic golden dome, almost a complete globe, and it\nwas into this area that Zaphod, Ford, Arthur and Trillian now passed.\nAt least \ufb01ve tons of glitter alone had gone into it before them, and covered\nevery available surface. The other surfaces were not available because they\nwere already encrusted with jewels, precious sea shells from Santraginus, gold\nleaf, mosaic tiles, lizard skins and a million unidenti\ufb01able embellishments and\ndecorations. Glass glittered, silver shone, gold gleamed, Arthur Dent goggled.\n- Wowee, - said Zaphod, - Zappo.\n- Incredible! - breathed Arthur, - the people!.. The things!..\n- The things, - said Ford Prefect quietly, - are also people.\n- The people... - resumed Arthur, - the... other people...\n- The lights!.. - said Trillian.\n- The tables... - said Arthur.\n- The clothes!.. - said Trillian.\nThe waiter thought they sounded like a couple of baili\ufb00s.\n- The End of the Universe is very popular, - said Zaphod threading his way\nunsteadily through the throng of tables, some made of marble, some of rich\nultra-mahagony, some even of platinum, and at each a party of exotic creatures\nchatting amongst themselves and studying menus.\n- People like to dress up for it, - continued Zaphod, - Gives it a sense of\noccasion.\nThe tables were fanned out in a large circle around a central stage area where\na small band were playing light music, at least a thousand tables was Arthur\u2019s\nguess, and interspersed amongst them were swaying palms, hissing fountains,\ngrotesque statuary, in short all the paraphernalia common to all Restaurants\nwhere little expense has been spared to give the impression that no expense has\nbeen spared. Arthur glanced around, half expecting to see someone making an\nAmerican Express commercial.\nZaphod lurched into Ford, who lurched back into Zaphod.\n- Wowee, - said Zaphod.\n- Zappo, - said Ford.\n- My great granddaddy must have really screwed up the computer\u2019s works,\nyou know, - said Zaphod, - I told it to take us to the nearest place to eat and it\nsends us to the End of the Universe. Remind me to be nice to it one day.\nHe paused.\n- Hey, everybody\u2019s here you know. Everybody who was anybody.\n- Was? - said Arthur.\n- At the End of the Universe you have to use the past tense a lot, - said\nZaphod, - \u2019cos everything\u2019s been done you know. Hi, guys, - he called out to a\nnearby party of giant iguana lifeforms, - How did you do?\n- Is that Zaphod Beeblebrox? - asked one iguana of another iguana.\n- I think so, - replied the second iguana.\n- Well doesn\u2019t that just take the biscuit, - said the \ufb01rst iguana.\n- Funny old thing, life, - said the second iguana.", "78eedc9d-e0e8-4d9f-ab47-dedd82b4f318": "73\n- It\u2019s what you make of it, - said the \ufb01rst and they lapsed back into silence.\nThey were waiting for the greatest show in the Universe.\n- Hey, Zaphod, - said Ford, grabbing for his arm and, on account of the third\nPan Galactic Gargle Blaster, missing. He pointed a swaying \ufb01nger.\n- There\u2019s an old mate of mine, - he said, - Hotblack Desiato! See the man\nat the platinum table with the platinum suit on?\nZaphod tried to follow Ford\u2019s \ufb01nger with his eyes but it made him feel dizzy.\nFinally he saw.\n- Oh yeah, - he said, then recognition came a moment later. - Hey, - he said,\n- did that guy ever make it megabig! Wow, bigger than the biggest thing ever.\nOther than me.\n- Who\u2019s he supposed to be? - asked Trillian.\n- Hotblack Desiato? - said Zaphod in astonishment, - you don\u2019t know? You\nnever heard of Disaster Area?\n- No, - said Trillian, who hadn\u2019t.\n- The biggest, - said Ford, - loudest...\n- Richest... - suggested Zaphod.\n- ... rock band in the history of... - he searched for the word.\n- ... history itself, - said Zaphod.\n- No, - said Trillian.\n- Zowee, - said Zaphod, - here we are at the End of the Universe and you\nhaven\u2019t even lived yet. Did you miss out.\nHe led her o\ufb00 to where the waiter had been waiting all this time at the table.\nArthur followed them feeling very lost and alone.\nFord waded o\ufb00 through the throng to renew an old acquaintance.\n- Hey, er, Hotblack, - he called out, - how you doing? Great to see you big\nboy, how\u2019s the noise? You\u2019re looking great, really very, very fat and unwell.\nAmazing. - He slapped the man on the back and was mildly surprised that it\nseemed to elict no response. The Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters swirling round\ninside him told him to plunge on regardless.\n- Remember the old days? - he said, - We used to hang out, right? The Bistro\nIllegal, remember? Slim\u2019s Throat Emporium? The Evildrome Boozarama, great\ndays eh?\nHotblack Desiato o\ufb00ered no opinion as to whether they were great days or\nnot. Ford was not perturbed.\n- And when we were hungry we\u2019d pose as public health inspectors, you\nremember that? And go around con\ufb01scating meals and drinks right? Till we\ngot food poisoning. Oh, and then there were the long nights of talking and\ndrinking in those smelly rooms above the Cafe Lou in Gretchen Town, New\nBetel, and you were always in the next room trying to write songs on your\najuitar and we all hated them. And you said you didn\u2019t care, and we said we\ndid because we hated them so much. - Ford\u2019s eyes were beginning to mist over.\n- And you said you didn\u2019t want to be a star, - he continued, wallowing in\nnostalgia, - because you despised the star system. And we said, Hadra and\nSulijoo and me, that we didn\u2019t think you had the option. And what do you do\nnow? You buy star systems!\nHe turned and solicited the attention of those at nearby tables.\n- Here, - he said, - is a man who buys star systems!\nHotblack Desiato made no attempt either to con\ufb01rm or deny this fact, and\nthe attention of the temporary audience waned rapidly.", "6863eb75-40d1-4f7a-8ff6-d2d0b7b38ecf": "74 CHAPTER 16.\n- I think someone\u2019s drunk, - muttered a purple bush-like being into his wine\nglass.\nFord staggered slightly, and sat down heavily on the chair facing Hotblack\nDesiato.\n- What\u2019s that number you do? - he said, unwisely grabbing at a bottle for\nsupport and tipping it over - into a nearby glass as it happened. Not to waste\na happy accident, he drained the glass.\n- That really huge number, - he continued, - how does it go? - Bwarm!\nBwarm! Baderr!! - something, and in the stage act you do it ends up with this\nship crashing right into the sun, and you actually do it!\nFord crashed his \ufb01st into his other hand to illustrate this feat graphically.\nHe knocked the bottle over again.\n- Ship! Sun! Wham bang! - he cried. - I mean forget lasers and stu\ufb00, you\nguys are into solar \ufb02ares and real sunburn! Oh, and terrible songs.\nHis eyes followed the stream of liquid glugging out of the bottle on to the\ntable. Something ought to be done about it, he thought.\n- Hey, you want a drink? - he said. It began to sink into his squelching mind\nthat something was missing from this reunion, and that the missing something\nwas in some way connected with the fact that the fat man sitting opposite him\nin the platinum suit and the silvery trilby had not yet said \u201dHi, Ford\u201d or \u201dGreat\nto see you after all this time,\u201d or in fact anything at all. More to the point he\nhad not yet even moved.\n- Hotblack? - said Ford.\nA large meaty hand landed on his shoulder from behind and pushed him\naside. He slid gracelessly o\ufb00 his seat and peered upwards to see if he could\nspot the owner of this discourteous hand. The owner was not hard to spot, on\naccount of his being something of the order of seven feet tall and not slightly\nbuilt with it. In fact he was built the way one builds leather sofas, shiny, lumpy\nand with lots of solid stu\ufb03ng. The suit into which the man\u2019s body had been\nstu\ufb00ed looked as if it\u2019s only purpose in life was to demonstrate how di\ufb03cult it\nwas to get this sort of body into a suit. The face had the texture of an orange\nand the colour of an apple, but there the resemblance to anything sweet ended.\n- Kid... - said a voice which emerged from the man\u2019s mouth as if it had been\nhaving a really rough time down in his chest.\n- Er, yeah? - said Ford conversationally. He staggered back to his feet again\nand was disappointed that the top of his head didn\u2019t come further up the man\u2019s\nbody.\n- Beat it, - said the man.\n- Oh yeah? - said Ford, wondering how wise he was being, - and who are\nyou?\nThe man considered this for a moment. He wasn\u2019t used to being asked this\nsort of question. Nevertheless, after a while he came up with an answer.\n- I\u2019m the guy who\u2019s telling you to beat it, - he said, - before you get it beaten\nfor you.\n- Now listen, - said Ford nervously - he wished his head would stop spinning,\nsettle down and get to grips with the situation - Now listen, - he continued, - I\nam one of Hotblack\u2019s oldest friends and...\nHe glanced at Hotblack Desiato, who still hadn\u2019t moved so much as an\neyelash.", "1911c4f0-b073-4f3e-a571-72a4d362ac7d": "75\n- ... and... - said Ford again, wondering what would be a good word to say\nafter \u201dand\u201d.\nThe large man came up with a whole sentence to go after \u201dand\u201d. He said it.\n- And I am Mr Desiato\u2019s bodyguard, - it went, - and I am responsible for his\nbody, and I am not responsible for yours, so take it away before it gets damaged.\n- Now wait a minute, - said Ford.\n- No minutes! - boomed the bodyguard, - no waiting! Mr Desiato speaks to\nno one!\n- Well perhaps you\u2019d let him say what he thinks about the matter himself,\n- said Ford.\n- He speaks to no one! - bellowed the bodyguard.\nFord glanced anxiously at Hotblack again and was forced to admit to himself\nthat the bodyguard seemed to have the facts on his side. There was still not\nthe slightest sign of movement, let alone keen interest in Ford\u2019s welfare.\n- Why? - said Ford, - What\u2019s the matter with him?\nThe bodyguard told him.", "6786c9a2-de79-4d1a-8d13-e3370ecb594d": "76 CHAPTER 16.", "bacbabea-a975-4f7f-a52c-65f60c5f935b": "Chapter 17\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium\nrock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only\nthe loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind\nat all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to\nbe heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles from the\nstage, whilst the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control\nfrom within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet\n- or more frequently around a completely di\ufb00erent planet.\nTheir songs are on the whole very simple and mostly follow the familiar\ntheme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then ex-\nplodes for no adequately explored reason.\nMany worlds have now banned their act altogether, sometimes for artistic\nreasons, but most commonly because the band\u2019s public address system contra-\nvenes local strategic arms limitations treaties.\nThis has not, however, stopped their earnings from pushing back the bound-\naries of pure hypermathematics, and their chief research accountant has recently\nbeen appointed Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon,\nin recognition of both his General and his Special Theories of Disaster Area Tax\nReturns, in which he proves that the whole fabric of the spacetime continuum\nis not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.\nFord staggered back to the table where Zaphod, Arthur and Trillian were\nsitting waiting for the fun to begin.\n- Gotta have some food, - said Ford.\n- Hi, Ford, - said Zaphod, - you speak to the big noise boy?\nFord waggled his head noncommittally.\n- Hotblack? I sort of spoke to him, yeah.\n- What\u2019d he say?\n- Well, not a lot really. He\u2019s... er...\n- Yeah?\n- He\u2019s spending a year dead for tax reasons. I\u2019ve got to sit down.\nHe sat down.\nThe waiter approached.\n- Would you like to see the menu? - he said, - or would you like to meet the\nDish of the Day?\n- Huh? - said Ford.\n- Huh? - said Arthur.\n- Huh? - said Trillian.\n77", "cc130ae3-09ad-4cf6-a385-b41a1652080c": "78 CHAPTER 17.\n- That\u2019s cool, - said Zaphod, - we\u2019ll meet the meat.\nIn a small room in one of the arms of the Restaurant complex a tall, thin,\ngangling \ufb01gure pulled aside a curtain and oblivion looked him in the face.\nIt was not a pretty face, perhaps because oblivion had looked him in it so\nmany times. It was too long for a start, the eyes too sunken and too hooded,\nthe cheeks too hollow, his lips were too thin and too long, and when they parted\nhis teeth looked too much like a recently polished bay window. The hands that\nheld the curtain were long and thin too: they were also cold. They lay lightly\nalong the folds of the curtain and gave the impression that if he didn\u2019t watch\nthem like a hawk they would crawl away of their own accord and do something\nunspeakable in a corner.\nHe let the curtain drop and the terrible light that had played on his features\nwent o\ufb00 to play somewhere more healthy. He prowled around his small chamber\nlike a mantis contemplating an evening\u2019s preying, \ufb01nally settling on a rickety\nchair by a trestle table, where he leafed through a few sheets of jokes.\nA bell rang.\nHe pushed the thin sheaf of papers aside and stood up. His hands brushed\nlimply over some of the one million rainbow-coloured sequins with which his\njacket was festooned, and he was gone through the door.\nIn the Restaurant the lights dimmed, the band quickened its pace, a single\nspotlight stabbed down into the darkness of the stairway that led up to the\ncentre of the stage.\nUp the stairs bounded bounded a tall brilliantly coloured \ufb01gure. He burst\non to the stage, tripped lightly up to the microphone, removed it from its stand\nwith one swoop of his long thin hand and stood for a moment bowing left and\nright to the audience acknowledging their applause and displaying to them his\nbay window. He waved to his particular friends in the audience even though\nthere weren\u2019t any there, and waited for the applause to die down.\nHe held up his hand and smiled a smile that stretched not merely from ear\nto ear, but seemed to extend some way beyond the mere con\ufb01nes of his face.\n- Thank you ladies and gentlemen! - he cried, - thank you very much. Thank\nyou so much.\nHe eyed them with a twinkling eye.\n- Ladies and gentlemen, - he said, - The Universe as we know it has now been\nin existence for over one hundred and seventy thousand million billion years and\nwill be ending in a little over half an hour. So, welcome one and all to Milliways,\nthe Restaurant at the End of the Universe!\nWith a gesture he deftly conjured another round of spontaneous applause.\nWith another gesture he cut it.\n- I am your host for tonight, - he said, - my name is Max Quordlepleen... -\n(Everybody knew this, his act was famous throughout the known Galaxy, but\nhe said it for the fresh applause it generated, which he acknowledged with a\ndisclaiming smile and wave.) - ... and I\u2019ve just come straight from the very very\nother end of time, where I\u2019ve been hosting a show at the Big Bang Burger Bar -\nwhere I can tell you we had a very exciting evening ladies and gentlemen - and\nI will be with you right through this historic occasion, the End of History itself!\nAnother burst of applause died away quickly as the lights dimmed down\nfurther. On every table candles ignited themselves spontaneously, eliciting a\nslight gasp from all the diners and wreathing them in a thousand tiny \ufb02ickering\nlights and a million intimate shadows. A tremor of excitement thrilled through", "82f52718-64f8-45df-aceb-e572eb8b7701": "79\nthe darkened Restaurant as the vast golden dome above them began very very\nslowly to dim, to darken, to fade.\nMax\u2019s voice was hushed as he continued.\n- So, ladies and gentlemen, - he breathed, - the candles are lit, the band\nplays softly, and as the force-shielded dome above us fades into transparency,\nrevealing a dark and sullen sky hung heavy with the ancient light of livid swollen\nstars, I can see we\u2019re all in for a fabulous evening\u2019s apocalypse!\nEven the soft tootling of the band faded away as stunned shock descended\non all those who had not seen this sight before.\nA monstrous, grisly light poured in on them,\n- a hideous light,\n- a boiling, pestilential light,\n- a light that would have dis\ufb01gured hell.\nThe Universe was coming to an end.\nFor a few interminable seconds the Restaurant span silently through the\nraging void. Then Max spoke again.\n- For those of you who ever hoped to see the light at the end of the tunnel,\n- he said, - this is it.\nThe band struck up again.\n- Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, - cried Max, - I\u2019ll be back with you again\nin just a moment, and meanwhile I leave you in the very capable hands of Mr\nReg Nullify and his cataclysmic Combo. Big hand please ladies and gentlemen\nfor Reg and the boys!\nThe baleful turmoil of the skies continued.\nHesitantly the audience began to clap and after a moment or so normal\nconversation resumed. Max began his round of the tables, swapping jokes,\nshouting with laughter, earning his living.\nA large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox\u2019s table, a large fat\nmeaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and\nwhat might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.\n- Good evening, - it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, - I am the\nmain Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? - It harrumphed\nand gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position\nand gazed peacefully at them.\nIts gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian,\na resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.\n- Something o\ufb00 the shoulder perhaps? - suggested the animal, - Braised in\na white wine sauce?\n- Er, your shoulder? - said Arthur in a horri\ufb01ed whisper.\n- But naturally my shoulder, sir, - mooed the animal contentedly, - nobody\nelse\u2019s is mine to o\ufb00er.\nZaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal\u2019s shoul-\nder appreciatively.\n- Or the rump is very good, - murmured the animal. - I\u2019ve been exercising\nit and eating plenty of grain, so there\u2019s a lot of good meat there. - It gave a\nmellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud\nagain.\n- Or a casserole of me perhaps? - it added.\n- You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it? - whispered Trillian to\nFord.", "7ba648c0-d6f4-45f5-b182-8d6af3940c4f": "80 CHAPTER 17.\n- Me? - said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, - I don\u2019t mean anything.\n- That\u2019s absolutely horrible, - exclaimed Arthur, - the most revolting thing\nI\u2019ve ever heard.\n- What\u2019s the problem Earthman? - said Zaphod, now transferring his atten-\ntion to the animal\u2019s enormous rump.\n- I just don\u2019t want to eat an animal that\u2019s standing here inviting me to, -\nsaid Arthur, - it\u2019s heartless.\n- Better than eating an animal that doesn\u2019t want to be eaten, - said Zaphod.\n- That\u2019s not the point, - Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a\nmoment. - Alright, - he said, - maybe it is the point. I don\u2019t care, I\u2019m not going\nto think about it now. I\u2019ll just... er...\nThe Universe raged about him in its death throes.\n- I think I\u2019ll just have a green salad, - he muttered.\n- May I urge you to consider my liver? - asked the animal, - it must be very\nrich and tender by now, I\u2019ve been force-feeding myself for months.\n- A green salad, - said Arthur emphatically.\n- A green salad? - said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.\n- Are you going to tell me, - said Arthur, - that I shouldn\u2019t have green salad?\n- Well, - said the animal, - I know many vegetables that are very clear on\nthat point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole\ntangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was\ncapable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.\nIt managed a very slight bow.\n- Glass of water please, - said Arthur.\n- Look, - said Zaphod, - we want to eat, we don\u2019t want to make a meal of\nthe issues. Four rare steaks please, and hurry. We haven\u2019t eaten in \ufb01ve hundred\nand seventy-six thousand million years.\nThe animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle.\n- A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good, - it said, - I\u2019ll just nip\no\ufb00 and shoot myself.\nHe turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur.\n- Don\u2019t worry, sir, - he said, - I\u2019ll be very humane.\nIt waddled unhurriedly o\ufb00 into the kitchen.\nA matter of minutes later the waiter arrived with four huge steaming steaks.\nZaphod and Ford wolfed straight into them without a second\u2019s hesitation. Tril-\nlian paused, then shrugged and started into hers.\nArthur stared at his feeling slightly ill.\n- Hey, Earthman, - said Zaphod with a malicious grin on the face that wasn\u2019t\nstu\ufb03ng itself, - what\u2019s eating you?\nAnd the band played on.\nAll around the Restaurant people and things relaxed and chatted. The air\nwas \ufb01lled with talk of this and that, and with the mingled scents of exotic\nplants, extravagant foods and insidious wines. For an in\ufb01nite number of miles\nin every direction the universal cataclysm was gathering to a stupefying climax.\nGlancing at his watch, Max returned to the stage with a \ufb02ourish.\n- And now, ladies and gentlemen, - he beamed, - is everyone having one last\nwonderful time?\n- Yes, - called out the sort of people who call out \u201d yes\u201d when comedians ask\nthem if they\u2019re having a wonderful time.", "7820035b-4a4a-4e6e-a2d3-48eaacc44a7a": "81\n- That\u2019s wonderful, - enthused Max, - absolutely wonderful. And as the\nphoton storms gather in swirling crowds around us, preparing to tear apart the\nlast of the red hot suns, I know you\u2019re all going to settle back and enjoy with\nme what I know we will \ufb01nd all an immensely exciting and terminal experience.\nHe paused. He caught the audience with a glittering eye.\n- Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, - he said, - there\u2019s nothing penultimate\nabout this one.\nHe paused again. Tonight his timing was immaculate. Time after time he\nhad done this show, night after night. Not that the word night had any meaning\nhere at the extremity of time. All there was was the endless repetition of the\n\ufb01nal moment, as the Restaurant rocked slowly forward over the brink of time\u2019s\nfurthest edge - and back again. This \u201dnight\u201d was good though, the audience\nwas writhing in the palm of his sickly hand. His voice dropped. They had to\nstrain to hear him.\n- This, - he said, - really is the absolute end, the \ufb01nal chilling desolation, in\nwhich the whole majestic sweep of creation becomes extinct. This ladies and\ngentlemen is the proverbial \u201dit\u201d.\nHe dropped his voice still lower. In the stillness, a \ufb02y would not have dared\ncleat its throat.\n- After this, - he said, - there is nothing. Void. Emptiness. Oblivion.\nAbsolute nothing...\nHis eyes glittered again - or did they twinkle?\n- Nothing... except of course for the sweet trolley, and a \ufb01ne selection of\nAldebaran liqueurs!\nThe band gave him a musical sting. He wished they wouldn\u2019t, he didn\u2019t need\nit, not an artist of his calibre. He could play the audience like his own musical\ninstrument. They were laughing with relief. He followed on.\n- And for once, - he cried cheerily, - you don\u2019t need to worry about having\na hangover in the morning - because there won\u2019t be any more mornings!\nHe beamed at his happy, laughing audience. He glanced up at the sky, going\nthrough the same dead routine every night, but his glance was only for a fraction\nof a second. He trusted it to do its job, as one professional trusts another.\n- And now, - he said, strutting about the stage, - at the risk of putting a\ndamper on the wonderful sense of doom and futility here this evening, I would\nlike to welcome a few parties.\nHe pulled a card from his pocket.\n- Do we have... - he put up a hand to hold back the cheers, - Do we have\na party here from the Zansellquasure Flamarion Bridge Club from beyond the\nVortvoid of Qvarne? Are they here?\nA rousing cheer came from the back, but he pretended not to hear. He\npeered around trying to \ufb01nd them.\n- Are they here? - he asked again, to elict a louder cheer.\nHe got it, as he always did.\n- Ah, there they are. Well, last bids lads - and no cheating, remember this\nis a very solemn moment.\nHe lapped up the laughter.\n- And do we also have, do we have... a party of minor deities from the Halls\nof Asgard?\nAway to his right came a rumble of thunder. Lightning arced across the\nstage. A small group of hairy men with helmets sat looking very pleased with", "4ee54010-bdd5-490e-80aa-847a59d91de3": "82 CHAPTER 17.\nthemselves, and raised their glasses to him.\nHasbeens, he thought to himself.\n- Careful with that hammer, sir, - he said.\nThey did their trick with the lightning again. Max gave them a very thin\nlipped smile.\n- And thirdly, - he said, - thirdly a party of Young Conservatives from Sirius\nB, are they here?\nA party of smartly dressed young dogs stopped throwing rolls at each other\nand started throwing rolls at the stage. They yapped and barked unintelligibly.\n- Yes, - said Max, - well this is all your fault, you realize that?\n- And \ufb01nally, - said Max, quieting the audience down and putting on his\nsolemn face, - \ufb01nally I believe we have with us here tonight, a party of believers,\nvery devout believers, from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great\nProphet Zarquon.\nThere were about twenty of them, sitting right out on the edge of the \ufb02oor,\nascetically dressed, sipping mineral water nervously, and staying apart from the\nfestivities. They blinked resentfully as the spotlight was turned on them.\n- There they are, - said Max, - sitting there, patiently. He said he\u2019d come\nagain, and he\u2019s kept you waiting a long time, so let\u2019s hope he\u2019s hurrying fellas,\nbecause he\u2019s only got eight minutes left!\nThe party of Zarquon\u2019s followers sat rigid, refusing to be bu\ufb00eted by the\nwaves of uncharitable laughter which swept over them.\nMax restrained his audience.\n- No, but seriously though folks, seriously though, no o\ufb00ence meant. No, I\nknow we shouldn\u2019t make fun of deeply held beliefs, so I think a big hand please\nfor the Great Prophet Zarquon...\nThe audience clapped respectfully.\n- ... wherever he\u2019s got to!\nHe blew a kiss to the stony-faced party and returned to the centre of the\nstage.\nHe grabbed a tall stool and sat on it.\n- It\u2019s marvellous though, - he rattled on, - to see so many of you here tonight\n- no isn\u2019t it though? Yes, absolutely marvellous. Because I know that so many\nof you come here time and time again, which I think is really wonderful, to\ncome and watch this \ufb01nal end of everything, and then return home to your own\neras... and raise families, strive for new and better societies, \ufb01ght terrible wars\nfor what you know to be right... it really gives one hope for the future of all\nlifekind. Except of course, - he waved at the blitzing turmoil above and around\nthem, - that we know it hasn\u2019t got one...\nArthur turned to Ford - he hadn\u2019t quite got this place worked out in his\nmind.\n- Look, surely, - he said, - if the Universe is about to end... don\u2019t we go with\nit?\nFord gave him a three-Pan-Galactic-Gargle-Blaster look, in other words a\nrather unsteady one.\n- No, - he said, - look, - he said, - as soon as you come into this dive you get\nheld in this sort of amazing force-shielded temporal warp thing. I think.\n- Oh, - said Arthur. He turned his attention back to a bowl of soup he\u2019d\nmanaged to get from the waiter to replace his steak.\n- Look, - said Ford, - I\u2019ll show you.", "31434dbd-e228-4688-8e0b-466c7390b887": "83\nHe grabbed at a napkin o\ufb00 the table and fumbled hopelessly with it.\n- Look, - he said again, - imagine this napkin, right, as the temporal Universe,\nright? And this spoon as a transductional mode in the matter curve...\nIt took him a while to say this last part, and Arthur hated to interrupt him.\n- That\u2019s the spoon I was eating with, - he said.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - imagine this spoon... - he found a small wooden\nspoon on a tray of relishes, - this spoon... - but found it rather tricky to pick\nup, - no, better still this fork...\n- Hey would you let go of my fork? - snapped Zaphod.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - alright, alright. Why don\u2019t we say... why don\u2019t we\nsay that this wine glass is the temporal Universe...\n- What, the one you\u2019ve just knocked on the \ufb02oor?\n- Did I do that?\n- Yes.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - forget that. I mean... I mean, look, do you know -\ndo you know how the Universe actually began for a kick o\ufb00?\n- Probably not, - said Arthur, who wished he\u2019d never embarked on any of\nthis.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - imagine this. Right. You get this bath. Right. A\nlarge round bath. And it\u2019s made of ebony.\n- Where from? - said Arthur, - Harrods was destroyed by the Vogons.\n- Doesn\u2019t matter.\n- So you keep saying.\n- Listen.\n- Alright.\n- You get this bath, see? Imagine you\u2019ve got this bath. And it\u2019s ebony. And\nit\u2019s conical.\n- Conical? - said Arthur, - What sort of...\n- Shhh! - said Ford. - It\u2019s conical. So what you do is, you see, you \ufb01ll it with\n\ufb01ne white sand, alright? Or sugar. Fine white sand, and/or sugar. Anything.\nDoesn\u2019t matter. Sugar\u2019s \ufb01ne. And when it\u2019s full, you pull the plug out... are\nyou listening?\n- I\u2019m listening.\n- You pull the plug out, and it all just twirls away, twirls away you see, out\nof the plughole.\n- I see.\n- You don\u2019t see. You don\u2019t see at all. I haven\u2019t got to the clever bit yet. You\nwant to hear the clever bit?\n- Tell me the clever bit.\n- I\u2019ll tell you the clever bit.\nFord thought for a moment, trying to remember what the clever bit was.\n- The clever bit, - he said, - is this. You \ufb01lm it happening.\n- Clever.\n- That\u2019s not the clever bit. This is the clever bit, I remember now that this is\nthe clever bit. The clever bit is that you then thread the \ufb01lm in the projector...\nbackwards!\n- Backwards?\n- Yes. Threading it backwards is de\ufb01nitely the clever bit. So then, you\njust sit and watch it, and everything just appears to spiral upwards out of the\nplughole and \ufb01ll the bath. See?", "18701f55-101c-4f9d-933d-cdbbde3e7707": "84 CHAPTER 17.\n- And that\u2019s how the Universe began is it? - said Arthur.\n- No, - said Ford, - but it\u2019s a marvellous way to relax.\nHe reached for his wine glass.\n- Where\u2019s my wine glass? - he said.\n- It\u2019s on the \ufb02oor.\n- Ah.\nTipping back his chair to look for it, Ford collided with the small green\nwaiter who was approaching the table carrying a portable telephone.\nFord excused himself to the waiter explaining that it was because he was\nextremely drunk.\nThe waiter said that that was quite alright and that he perfectly understood.\nFord thanked the waiter for his kind indulgence, attempted to tug his fore-\nlock, missed by six inches and slid under the table.\n- Mr Zaphod Beeblebrox? - inquired the waiter.\n- Er, yeah? - said Zaphod, glancing up from his third steak.\n- There is a phone call for you.\n- Hey, what?\n- A phone call, sir.\n- For me? Here? Hey, but who knows where I am?\nOne of his minds raced. The other dawdled lovingly over the food it was\nstill shovelling in.\n- Excuse me if I carry on, won\u2019t you? - said his eating head and carried on.\nThere were now so many people after him he\u2019d lost count. He shouldn\u2019t have\nmade such a conspicuous entrance. Hell, why not though, he thought. How do\nyou know you\u2019re having fun if there\u2019s no one watching you have it?\n- Maybe someone here tipped o\ufb00 the Galactic Police, - said Trillian. - Ev-\neryone saw you come in.\n- You mean they want to arrest me over the phone? - said Zaphod, - Could\nbe. I\u2019m a pretty dangerous dude when I\u2019m concerned.\n- Yeah, - said a voice from under the table, - you go to pieces so fast people\nget hit by the shrapnel.\n- Hey, what is this, Judgment Day? - snapped Zaphod.\n- Do we get to see that as well? - asked Arthur nervously.\n- I\u2019m in no hurry, - muttered Zaphod, - OK, so who\u2019s the cat on the phone?\n- He kicked Ford. - Hey get up there, kid, - he said to him, - I may need you.\n- I am not, - said the waiter, - personally acquainted with the metal gentle-\nmen in question, sir...\n- Metal?\n- Yes, sir.\n- Did you say metal?\n- Yes, sir. I said that I am not personally acquainted with the metal gentle-\nman in question...\n- OK, carry on.\n- But I am informed that he has been awaiting your return for a considerable\nnumber of millennia. It seems you left here somewhat precipitately.\n- Left here? - said Zaphod, - are you being strange? We only just arrived\nhere.\n- Indeed, sir, - persisted the waiter doggedly, - but before you arrived here,\nsir, I understand that you left here.\nZaphod tried this in one brain, then in the other.", "b38f0a86-8b20-45c9-9a9c-f8aa84f5b676": "85\n- You\u2019re saying, - he said, - that before we arrived here, we left here?\nThis is going to be a long night, thought the waiter.\n- Precisely, sir, - he said.\n- Put your analyst on danger money, baby, - advised Zaphod.\n- No, wait a minute, - said Ford, emerging above table level again, - where\nexactly is here?\n- To be absolutely exact sir, it is Frogstar World B.\n- But we just left there, - protested Zaphod, - we left there and came to the\nRestaurant at the End of the Universe.\n- Yes, sir, - said the waiter, feeling that he was now into the home stretch\nand running well, - the one was constructed on the ruins of the other.\n- Oh, - said Arthur brightly, - you mean we\u2019ve travelled in time but not in\nspace.\n- Listen you semi-evolved simian, - cut in Zaphod, - go climb a tree will you?\nArthur bristled.\n- Go bang your heads together four-eyes, - he advised Zaphod.\n- No, no, - the waiter said to Zaphod, - your monkey has got it right, sir.\nArthur stuttered in fury and said nothing apposite, or indeed coherent.\n- You jumped forward... I believe \ufb01ve hundred and seventy-six thousand\nmillion years whilst staying in exactly the same place, - explained the waiter.\nHe smiled. He had a wonderful feeling that he had \ufb01nally won through against\nwhat had seemed to be insuperable odds.\n- That\u2019s it! - said Zaphod, - I got it. I told the computer to send us to the\nnearest place to eat, that\u2019s exactly what it did. Give or take \ufb01ve hundred and\nseventy-six thousand million years, we never moved. Neat.\nThey all agreed this was very neat.\n- But who, - said Zaphod, - is the cat on the phone?\n- Whatever happened to Marvin? - said Trillian.\nZaphod clapped his hands to his heads.\n- The Paranoid Android! I left him moping about on Frogstar B.\n- When was this?\n- Well, er, \ufb01ve hundred and seventy-six thousand million years ago I suppose,\n- said Zaphod, - Hey, er, hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.\nThe little waiter\u2019s eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.\n- I beg your pardon, sir? - he said.\n- The phone, waiter, - said Zaphod, grabbing it o\ufb00 him. - Shee, you guys\nare so unhip it\u2019s a wonder your bums don\u2019t fall o\ufb00.\n- Indeed, sir.\n- Hey, Marvin, is that you? - said Zaphod into the phone, - How you doing,\nkid?\nThere was a long pause before a thin low voice came up the line.\n- I think you ought to know I\u2019m feeling very depressed, - it said.\nZaphod cupped his hands over the phone.\n- It\u2019s Marvin, - he said.\n- Hey, Marvin, - he said into the phone again, - we\u2019re having a great time.\nFood, wine, a little personal abuse and the Universe going foom. Where can we\n\ufb01nd you?\nAgain the pause.\n- You don\u2019t have to pretend to be interested in me you know, - said Marvin\nat last, - I know perfectly well I\u2019m only a menial robot.", "bd747160-c81f-4d1e-9d84-3c7a2d3d069a": "86 CHAPTER 17.\n- OK, OK, - said Zaphod, - but where are you?\n- \u201dReverse primary thrust, Marvin,\u201d that\u2019s what they say to me, \u201dopen\nairlock number three, Marvin. Marvin, can you pick up that piece of paper? \u201d\nCan I pick up that piece of paper! Here I am, brain the size of a planet and\nthey ask me to...\n- Yeah, yeah, - sympathized Zaphod hardly at all.\n- But I\u2019m quite used to being humiliated, - droned Marvin, - I can even go\nand stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and\nstick my head in a bucket of water? I\u2019ve got one ready. Wait a minute.\n- Er, hey, Marvin... - interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late. Sad little\nclunks and gurgles came up the line.\n- What\u2019s he saying? - asked Trillian.\n- Nothing, - said Zaphod, - he just phoned up to wash his head at us.\n- There, - said Marvin, coming back on the line and bubbling a bit, - I hope\nthat gave satisfaction...\n- Yeah, yeah, - said Zaphod, - now will you please tell us where you are?\n- I\u2019m in the car park, - said Marvin.\n- The car park? - said Zaphod, - what are you doing there?\n- Parking cars, what else does one do in a car park?\n- OK, hang in there, we\u2019ll be right down.\nIn one movement Zaphod leapt to his feet, threw down the phone and wrote\n\u201dHotblack Desiato\u201d on the bill.\n- Come on guys, - he said, - Marvin\u2019s in the car park. Let\u2019s get on down.\n- What\u2019s he doing in the car park? - asked Arthur.\n- Parking cars, what else? Dum dum.\n- But what about the End of the Universe? We\u2019ll miss the big moment.\n- I\u2019ve seen it. It\u2019s rubbish, - said Zaphod, - nothing but a gnab gib.\n- A what?\n- Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let\u2019s get zappy.\nFew of the other diners paid them any attention as they weaved their way\nthrough the Restaurant to the exit. Their eyes were riveted on the horror of\nthe skies.\n- An interesting e\ufb00ect to watch for, - Max was telling them, - is in the upper\nleft-hand quadrant of the sky, where if you look very carefully you can see the\nstar system Hastromil boiling away into the ultra-violet. Anyone here from\nHastromil?\nThere were one or two slightly hesitant cheers from somewhere at the back.\n- Well, - said Max beaming cheerfully at them, - it\u2019s too late to worry about\nwhether you left the gas on now.", "fd3c2ace-c8a5-4942-9143-915e7dc90f6c": "Chapter 18\nThe main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his\nway through it.\nZaphod grasped him \ufb01rmly by the arm and manoeuvred him into a cubicle\nstanding to one side of the entrance hall.\n- What are you doing to him? - asked Arthur.\n- Sobering him up, - said Zaphod and pushed a coin into a slot. Lights\n\ufb02ashed, gases swirled.\n- Hi, - said Ford stepping out a moment later, - where are we going?\n- Down to the car park, come on.\n- What about the personnel Time Teleports? - said Ford, - Get us straight\nback to the Heart of Gold.\n- Yeah, but I\u2019ve cooled on that ship. Zarniwoop can have it. I don\u2019t want\nto play his games. Let\u2019s see what we can \ufb01nd.\nA Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter took\nthem down deep into the substrata beneath the Restaurant. They were glad to\nsee it had been vandalized and didn\u2019t try to make them happy as well as take\nthem down.\nAt the bottom of the shaft the lift doors opened and a blast of cold stale air\nhit them.\nThe \ufb01rst thing they saw on leaving the lift was a long concrete wall with\nover \ufb01fty doors in it o\ufb00ering lavatory facilities for all of \ufb01fty major lifeforms.\nNevertheless, like every car park in the Galaxy throughout the entire history of\ncar parks, this car park smelt predominantly of impatience.\nThey turned a corner and found themselves on a moving catwalk that tra-\nversed a vast cavernous space that stretched o\ufb00 into the dim distance.\nIt was divided o\ufb00 into bays each of which contained a space ship belonging\nto one of the diners upstairs, some smallish and utilitarian mass production\nmodels, others vast shining limoships, the playthings of the very rich.\nZaphod\u2019s eyes sparkled with something that may or may not have been\navarice as he passed over them. In fact it\u2019s best to be clear on this point -\navarice is de\ufb01nitely what it was.\n- There he is, - said Trillian, - Marvin, down there.\nThey looked where she was pointing. Dimly they could see a small metal\n\ufb01gure listlessly rubbing a small rag on one remote corner of a giant silver sun-\ncruiser.\nAt short intervals along the moving catwalk, wide transparent tubes led\ndown to \ufb02oor level. Zaphod stepped o\ufb00 the catwalk into one and \ufb02oated gently\n87", "669d59de-c8e5-4424-958d-e02525270cff": "88 CHAPTER 18.\ndownwards. The others followed. Thinking back to this later, Arthur Dent\nthought it was the single most enjoyable experience of his travels in the Galaxy.\n- Hey, Marvin, - said Zaphod striding over towards to him, - Hey, kid, are\nwe pleased to see you.\nMarvin turned, and in so far as it is possible for a totally inert metal face to\nlook reproachfully, this is what it did.\n- No you\u2019re not, - he said, - no one ever is.\n- Suit yourself, - said Zaphod and turned away to ogle the ships. Ford went\nwith him.\nOnly Trillian and Arthur actually went up to Marvin.\n- No, really we are, - said Trillian and patted him in a way that he disliked\nintensely, - hanging around waiting for us all this time.\n- Five hundred and seventy-six thousand million, three thousand \ufb01ve hundred\nand seventy-nine years, - said Marvin, - I counted them.\n- Well, here we are now, - said Trillian, felling - quite correctly in Marvin\u2019s\nview - that it was a slightly foolish thing to say.\n- The \ufb01rst ten million years were the worst, - said Marvin, - and the second\nten million years, they were the worst too. The third million years I didn\u2019t enjoy\nat all. After that I went into a bit of decline.\nHe paused just long enough to make them feel they ought to say something,\nand then interrupted.\n- It\u2019s the people you meet in this job that really get you down, - he said and\npaused again.\nTrillian cleared her throat.\n- Is that...\n- The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago, - continued\nMarvin.\nAgain the pause.\n- Oh d...\n- And that was with a co\ufb00ee machine.\nHe waited.\n- That\u2019s a...\n- You don\u2019t like talking to me do you? - said Marvin in a low desolate tone.\nTrillian talked to Arthur instead.\nFurther down the chamber Ford Prefect had found something of which he\nvery much liked the look, several such things in fact.\n- Zaphod, - he said in a quiet voice, - just look at some of these little star\ntrolleys...\nZaphod looked and liked.\nThe craft they were looking at was in fact pretty small but extraordinary,\nand very much a rich kid\u2019s toy. It was not much to look at. It resembled nothing\nso much as a paper dart about twenty feet long made of thin but tough metal\nfoil. At the rear end was a small horizontal two-man cockpit. It had a tiny\ncharmdrive engine, which was not capable of moving it at any great speed. The\nthing it did have, however, was a heat-sink.\nThe heat-sink had a mass of some two thousand billion tons and was con-\ntained within a black hole mounted in an electromagnetic \ufb01eld situated half-way\nalong the length of the ship, and this heat-sink enabled the craft to be manoeu-\nvred to within a few miles of a yellow sun, there to catch and ride the solar\n\ufb02ares that burst out from its surface.", "3cd59507-acfa-4ae1-9ea8-e0c59eb15ba6": "89\nFlare-riding is one of the most exotic and exhilarating sports in existence,\nand those who can dare and a\ufb00ord it are amongst the most lionized men in the\nGalaxy. It is also of course stupefyingly dangerous - those who don\u2019t die riding\ninvariably die of sexual exhaustion at one of the Daedalus Club\u2019s ApresFlare\nparties.\nFord and Zaphod looked and passed on.\n- And this baby, - said Ford, - the tangerine star buggy with the black\nsunbusters...\nAgain, the star buggy was a small ship - a totally misnamed one in fact,\nbecause the one thing it couldn\u2019t manage was interstellar distances. Basically it\nwas a sporty planet hopper dolled up to something it wasn\u2019t. Nice lines though.\nThey passed on.\nThe next one was a big one and thirty yards long - a coach built limoship\nand obviously designed with one aim in mind, that of making the beholder sick\nwith envy. The paintwork and accessory detail clearly said:\n- Not only am I rich enough to a\ufb00ord this ship, I am also rich enough not to\ntake it seriously. - It was wonderfully hideous.\n- Just look at it, - said Zaphod, - multi-cluster quark drive, perspulex running\nboards. Got to be a Lazlar Lyricon custom job.\nHe examined every inch.\n- Yes, - he said, - look, the infra-pink lizard emblem on the neutrino cowling.\nLazlar\u2019s trade mark. The man has no shame.\n- I was passed by one of these mothers once, out by the Axel Nebula, - said\nFord, - I was going \ufb02at out and this thing just strolled past me, star drive hardly\nticking over. Just incredible.\nZaphod whistled appreciatively.\n- Ten seconds later, - said Ford, - it smashed straight into the third moon of\nJaglan Beta.\n- Yeah, right?\n- Amazing looking ship though. Looks like a \ufb01sh, moves like a \ufb01sh, steers\nlike a cow.\nFord looked round the other side.\n- Hey, come and see, - he called out, - there\u2019s a big mural painted on this\nside. A bursting sun - Disaster Area\u2019s trade mark. This must be Hotblack\u2019s\nship. Lucky old bugger. They do this terrible song you know which ends with a\nstuntship crashing into the sun. Meant to be an amazing spectacle. Expensive\nin stunt ships though.\nZaphod\u2019s attention however was elsewhere. His attention was riveted on the\nship standing next to Hotblack Desiato\u2019s limo. His mouths hung open.\n- That, - he said, - that... is really bad for the eyes...\nFord looked. He too stood astonished.\nIt was a ship of classic, simple design, like a \ufb02attened salmon, twenty yards\nlong, very clean, very sleek. There was just one remarkable thing about it.\n- It\u2019s so... black! - said Ford Prefect, - you can hardly make out its shape...\nlight just seems to fall into it!\nZaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.\nThe blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how\nclose you were standing to it.\n- Your eyes just slide o\ufb00 it... - said Ford in wonder. It was an emotional\nmoment. He bit his lip.", "06f7e6bf-01fa-49e0-aa3d-38bbbde0cb7c": "90 CHAPTER 18.\nZaphod moved forward to it, slowly, like a man possessed - or more accurately\nlike a man who wanted to possess. His hand reached out to stroke it. His hand\nstopped. His hand reached out to stroke it again. His hand stopped again.\n- Come and feel the surface, - he said in a hushed voice.\nFord put his hand out to feel it. His hand stopped.\n- You... you can\u2019t... - he said.\n- See? - said Zaphod, - it\u2019s just totally frictionless. This must be one mother\nof a mover...\nHe turned to look at Ford seriously. At least, one of his heads did - the other\nstayed gazing in awe at the ship.\n- What do you reckon, Ford? - he said.\n- You mean... er... - Ford looked over his shoulder. - You mean stroll o\ufb00\nwith it? You think we should?\n- No.\n- Nor do I.\n- But we\u2019re going to, aren\u2019t we?\n- How can we not?\nThey gazed a little longer, till Zaphod suddenly pulled himself together.\n- We better shift soon, - he said. - In a moment or so the Universe will\nhave ended and all the Captain Creeps will be pouring down here to \ufb01nd their\nbourge-mobiles.\n- Zaphod, - said Ford.\n- Yeah?\n- How do we do it?\n- Simple, - said Zaphod. He turned. - Marvin! - he called.\nSlowly, laboriously, and with a million little clanking and creaking noises\nthat he had learned to simulate, Marvin turned round to answer the summons.\n- Come on over here, - said Zaphod, - We\u2019ve got a job for you.\nMarvin trudged towards them.\n- I won\u2019t enjoy it, - he said.\n- Yes you will, - enthused Zaphod, - there\u2019s a whole new life stretching out\nahead of you.\n- Oh, not another one, - groaned Marvin.\n- Will you shut up and listen! - hissed Zaphod, - this time there\u2019s going to\nbe excitement and adventure and really wild things.\n- Sounds awful, - Marvin said.\n- Marvin! All I\u2019m trying to ask you...\n- I suppose you want me to open this spaceship for you?\n- What? Er... yes. Yeah, that\u2019s right, - said Zaphod jumpily. He was keeping\nat least three eyes on the entrance. Time was short.\n- Well I wish you\u2019d just tell me rather than try to engage my enthusiasm, -\nsaid Marvin, - because I haven\u2019t got one.\nHe walked on up to the ship, touched it, and a hatchway swung open.\nFord and Zaphod stared at the opening.\n- Don\u2019t mention it, - said Marvin, - Oh, you didn\u2019t. - He trudged away again.\nArthur and Trillian clustered round.\n- What\u2019s happening? - asked Arthur.\n- Look at this, - said Ford, - look at the interior of this ship.\n- Weirder and weirder, - breathed Zaphod.\n- It\u2019s black, - said Ford, - Everything in it is just totally black...", "4624c843-7f53-469d-ac38-a22003b19ae7": "91\nIn the Restaurant, things were fast approaching the moment after which\nthere wouldn\u2019t be any more moments.\nAll eyes were \ufb01xed on the dome, other than those of Hotblack Desiato\u2019s body-\nguard, which were looking intently at Hotblack Desiato, and those of Hotblack\nDesiato himself which the bodyguard had closed out of respect.\nThe bodyguard leaned forward over the table. Had Hotblack Desiato been\nalive, he probably would have deemed this a good moment to lean back, or\neven go for a short walk. His bodyguard was not a man which improved with\nproximity. On account of his unfortunate condition, however, Hotblack Desiato\nremained totally inert.\n- Mr Desiato, sir? - whispered the bodyguard. Whenever he spoke, it looked\nas if the muscles on either side of his mouth were clambering over each other to\nget out of the way.\n- Mr Desiato? Can you hear me?\nHotblack Desiato, quit naturally, said nothing.\n- Hotblack? - hissed the bodyguard.\nAgain, quite naturally, Hotblack Desiato did not reply. Supernaturally, how-\never, he did.\nOn the table in front of him a wine glass rattled, and a fork rose an inch or\nso and tapped against the glass. It settled on the table again.\nThe bodyguard gave a satis\ufb01ed grunt.\n- It\u2019s time we get going, Mr Desiato, - muttered the bodyguard, - don\u2019t want\nto get caught in the rush, not in your condition. You want to get to the next\ngig nice and relaxed. There was a really big audience for it. One of the best.\nKakrafoon. Five-hundred seventy-six thousand and two million years ago. Had\nyou will have been looking forward to it?\nThe fork rose again, waggled in a non-committal sort of way and dropped\nagain.\n- Ah, come on, - said the bodyguard, - it\u2019s going to have been great. You\nknocked \u2019em cold. - The bodyguard would have given Dr Dan Streetmentioner\nan apoplectic attack.\n- The black ship going into the sun always gets \u2019em, and the new one\u2019s a\nbeauty. Be real sorry to see it go. If we get on down there, I\u2019ll set the black\nship autopilot and we\u2019ll cruise o\ufb00 in the limo. OK?\nThe fork tapped once in agreement, and the glass of wine mysteriously emp-\ntied itself.\nThe bodyguard wheeled Hotblack Desiato\u2019s chair out of the Restaurant.\n- And now, - cried Max from the centre of the stage, - the moment you\u2019ve\nall been waiting for! - He \ufb02ung his arms into the air. Behind him, the band\nwent into a frenzy of percussion and rolling synthochords. Max had argued with\nthem about this but they had claimed it was in their contract that that\u2019s what\nthey would do. His agent would have to sort it out.\n- The skies begin to boil! - he cried. - Nature collapses into the screaming\nvoid! In twenty seconds\u2019 time, the Universe itself will be at an end! See where\nthe light of in\ufb01nity bursts in upon us!\nThe hideous fury of destruction blazed about them - and at that moment a\nstill small trumpet sounded as from an in\ufb01nite distance. Max\u2019s eyes swivelled\nround to glare at the band. None of them seemed to be playing a trumpet.\nSuddenly a wisp of smoke was swirling and shimmering on the stage next to\nhim. The trumpet was joined by more trumpets. Over \ufb01ve hundred times", "dacb73dc-c9e0-4312-9e10-535e799f6975": "92 CHAPTER 18.\nMax had done this show, and nothing like this had ever happened before. He\ndrew back in alarm from the swirling smoke, and as he did so, a \ufb01gure slowly\nmaterialized inside, the \ufb01gure of an ancient man, bearded, robed and wreathed\nin light. In his eyes were stars and on his brow a golden crown.\n- What\u2019s this? - whispered Max, wild-eyed, - what\u2019s happening? - At the\nback of the Restaurant the stony-faced party from the Church of the Second\nComing of the Great Prophet Zarquon leapt ecstatically to their feet chanting\nand crying.\nMax blinked in amazement. He threw up his arms to the audience.\n- A big hand please, ladies and gentlemen, - he hollered, - for the Great\nProphet Zarquon! He has come! Zarquon has come again!\nThunderous applause broke out as Max strode across the stage and handed\nhis microphone to the Prophet.\nZarquon coughed. He peered round at the assembled gathering. The stars\nin his eyes blinked uneasily. He handled the microphone with confusion.\n- Er... - he said, - hello. Er, look, I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m a bit late. I\u2019ve had the most\nghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment.\nHe seemed nervous of the expectant awed hush. He cleared his throat.\n- Er, how are we for time? - he said, - have I just got a min.\nAnd so the Universe ended.", "2795d092-f48d-49d6-90a7-2b9dd1ceb296": "Chapter 19\nOne of the major selling point of that wholly remarkable travel book, the Hitch\nHiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, apart from its relative cheapness and the fact that\nit has the words Don\u2019t Panic written in large friendly letters on its cover, is its\ncompendious and occasionally accurate glossary. The statistics relating to the\ngeo-social nature of the Universe, for instance, are deftly set out between pages\nnine hundred and thirty-eight thousand and twenty-four and nine hundred and\nthirty-eight thousand and twenty-six; and the simplistic style in which they\nare written is partly explained by the fact that the editors, having to meet a\npublishing deadline, copied the information o\ufb00 the back of a packet of breakfast\ncereal, hastily embroidering it with a few footnoted in order to avoid prosecution\nunder the incomprehensibly tortuous Galactic Copyright laws.\nIt is interesting to note that a later and wilier editor sent the book backwards\nin time through a temporal warp, and then successfully sued the breakfast cereal\ncompany for infringement of the same laws.\nHere is a sample:\nThe Universe - some information to help you live in it.\n1 Area: In\ufb01nite.\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy o\ufb00ers this de\ufb01nition of the word\n\u201dIn\ufb01nite\u201d.\nIn\ufb01nite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger\nthan that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, \u201dwow,\nthat\u2019s big\u201d, time. In\ufb01nity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks\nreally titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is\nthe sort of concept we\u2019re trying to get across here.\n2 Imports: None.\nIt is impossible to import things into an in\ufb01nite area, there being no outside\nto import things in from.\n3 Exports: None.\nSee imports.\n4 Population: None.\nIt is known that there are an in\ufb01nite number of worlds, simply because there\nis an in\ufb01nite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them\nis inhabited. Therefore, there must be a \ufb01nite number of inhabited worlds. Any\n\ufb01nite number divided by in\ufb01nity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the\naverage population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero.\nFrom this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and\nthat any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a\n93", "aa46fca1-0537-488f-ac9b-5c1fd8c7be42": "94 CHAPTER 19.\nderanged imagination.\n5 Monetary Units: None.\nIn fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none\nof them count. The Altairan Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flaninian Pobble\nBead is only exchangeable for other Flaninian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic\nPu has its own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one\nPu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand\neight hundred miles across each side, no one has ever collected enough to own\none Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency because the Galactibanks refuse to\ndeal in \ufb01ddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove\nthat the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.\n6 Art: None.\nThe function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isn\u2019t\na mirror big enough - see point one.\n7 Sex: None.\nWell, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of\nmoney, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep all the non-existent\npeople of the Universe occupied.\nHowever, it is not worth embarking on a long discussion of it now because\nit really is terribly complicated. For further information see Guide Chapters\nseven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one to\neighty-four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.", "2181c021-0ae9-425f-9449-6a1b3bc75055": "Chapter 20\nThe Restaurant continued existing, but everything else had stopped. Temporal\nrelastatics held it and protected it in a nothingness that wasn\u2019t merely a vacuum,\nit was simply nothing - there was nothing in which a vacuum could be said to\nexist.\nThe force-shielded dome had once again been rendered opaque, the party\nwas over, the diners were leaving, Zarquon had vanished along with the rest\nof the Universe, the Time Turbines were preparing to pull the Restaurant back\nacross the brink of time in readiness for the lunch sitting, and Max Quordlepleen\nwas back in his small curtained dressing room trying to raise his agent on the\ntempophone.\nIn the car park stood the black ship, closed and silent.\nIn to the car park came the late Mr Hotblack Desiato, propelled along the\nmoving catwalk by his bodyguard.\nThey descended one of the tubes. As they approached the limoship a hatch-\nway swung down from its side, engaged the wheels of the wheelchair and drew\nit inside. The bodyguard followed, and having seen his boss safely connected up\nto his death-support system, moved up to the small cockpit. Here he operated\nthe remote control system which activated the autopilot in the black ship lying\nnext to the limo, thus causing great relief to Zaphod Beeblebrox who had been\ntrying to start the thing for over ten minutes.\nThe black ship glided smoothly forward out of its bay, turned, and moved\ndown the central causeway swiftly and quietly. At the end it accelerated rapidly,\n\ufb02ung itself into the temporal launch chamber and began the long journey back\ninto the distant past.\nThe Milliways Lunch Menu quotes, by permission, a passage from the Hitch\nHiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy. The passage is this:\nThe History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three\ndistinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication,\notherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.\nFor instance, the \ufb01rst phase is characterized by the question \u201dHow can we\neat?\u201d, the second by the question \u201dWhy do we eat?\u201d and the third by the\nquestion, \u201dWhere shall we have lunch?\u201d\nThe Menu goes on to suggest that Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of\nthe Universe, would be a very agreeable and sophisticated answer to that third\nquestion.\nWhat it doesn\u2019t go on to say is that though it will usually take a large\ncivilization many thousands of years to pass through the How, Why and Where\n95", "3db4f268-a4ed-4661-8bb6-b283dd3f9f54": "96 CHAPTER 20.\nphases, small social groupings under stressful conditions can pass through them\nwith extreme rapidity.\n- How are we doing? - said Arthur Dent.\n- Badly, - said Ford Prefect.\n- Where are we going? - said Trillian.\n- I don\u2019t know, - said Zaphod Beeblebrox.\n- Why not? - demanded Arthur Dent.\n- Shut up, - suggested Zaphod Beeblebrox and Ford Prefect.\n- Basically, what you\u2019re trying to say, - said Arthur Dent, ignoring this\nsuggestion, - is that we\u2019re out of control.\nThe ship was rocking and swaying sickeningly as Ford and Zaphod tried to\nwrest control from the autopilot. The engined howled and whined like tired\nchildren in a supermarket.\n- It\u2019s the wild colour scheme that freaks me, - said Zaphod whose love a\ufb00air\nwith this ship had lasted almost three minutes into the \ufb02ight, - Every time you\ntry to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a\nblack background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you\u2019ve\ndone it. What is this? Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?\nThe walls of the swaying cabin were also black, the ceiling was black, the\nseats - which were rudimentary since the only important trip this ship was\ndesigned for was supposed to be unmanned - were black, the control panel was\nblack, the instruments were black, the little screws that held them in place were\nblack, the thin tufted nylon \ufb02oor covering was black, and when they had lifted\nup a corner of it they had discovered that the foam underlay also was black.\n- Perhaps whoever designed it had eyes that responded to di\ufb00erent wave-\nlengths, - o\ufb00ered Trillian.\n- Or didn\u2019t have much imagination, - muttered Arthur.\n- Perhaps, - said Marvin, - he was feeling very depressed.\nIn fact, though they weren\u2019t to know it, the decor had been chosen in honour\nof its owner\u2019s sad, lamented, and tax-deductible condition.\nThe ship gave a particularly sickening lurch.\n- Take it easy, - pleaded Arthur, - you\u2019re making me space sick.\n- Time sick, - said Ford, - we\u2019re plummeting backwards through time.\n- Thank you, - said Arthur, - now I think I really am going to be ill.\n- Go ahead, - said Zaphod, - we could do with a little colour about this place.\n- This is meant to be a polite after-dinner conversation is it? snapped Arthur.\nZaphod left the controls for Ford to \ufb01gure out, and lurched over to Arthur.\n- Look, Earthman, - he said angrily, - you\u2019ve got a job to do, right? The\nQuestion to the Ultimate Answer, right?\n- What, that thing? - said Arthur, - I thought we\u2019d forgotten about that.\n- Not me, baby. Like the mice said, it\u2019s worth a lot of money in the right\nquarters. And it\u2019s all locked up in that head thing of yours.\n- Yes but...\n- But nothing! Think about it. The Meaning of Life! We get our \ufb01ngers on\nthat we can hold every shrink in the Galaxy up to ransom, and that\u2019s worth a\nbundle. I owe mine a mint.\nArthur took a deep breath without much enthusiasm.\n- Alright, - he said, - but where do we start? How should I know? They\nsay the Ultimate Answer or whatever is Forty-two, how am I supposed to know\nwhat the question is? It could be anything. I mean, what\u2019s six times seven?", "6a5e37db-99f5-4e50-b4eb-56e9c17f21c3": "97\nZaphod looked at him hard for a moment. Then his eyes blazed with excite-\nment.\n- Forty-two! - he cried.\nArthur wiped his palm across his forehead.\n- Yes, - he said patiently, - I know that.\nZaphod\u2019s faces fell.\n- I\u2019m just saying that the question could be anything at all, - said Arthur, -\nand I don\u2019t see how I am meant to know.\n- Because, - hissed Zaphod, - you were there when your planet did the big\n\ufb01rework.\n- We have a thing on Earth... - began Arthur.\n- Had, - corrected Zaphod.\n- ...called tact. Oh never mind. Look, I just don\u2019t know.\nA low voice echoed dully round the cabin.\n- I know, - said Marvin.\nFord called out from the controls he was still \ufb01ghting a losing battle with.\n- Stay out of this Marvin, - he said, - this is organism talk.\n- It\u2019s printed in the Earthman\u2019s brainwave patterns, - continued Marvin, -\nbut I don\u2019t suppose you\u2019ll be very interested in knowing that.\n- You mean, - said Arthur, - you mean you can see into my mind?\n- Yes, - said Marvin.\nArthur stared in astonishment.\n- And?.. - he said.\n- It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small.\n- Ah, - said Arthur, - abuse.\n- Yes, - con\ufb01rmed Marvin.\n- Ah, ignore him, - said Zaphod, - he\u2019s only making it up.\n- Making it up? - said Marvin, swivelling his head in a parody of astonish-\nment, - Why should I want to make anything up? Life\u2019s bad enough as it is\nwithout wanting to invent any more of it.\n- Marvin, - said Trillian in the gentle, kindly voice that only she was still\ncapable of assuming in talking to this misbegotten creature, - if you knew all\nalong, why then didn\u2019t you tell us?\nMarvin\u2019s head swivelled back to her.\n- You didn\u2019t ask, - he said simply.\n- Well, we\u2019re asking you now, metal man, - said Ford, turning round to look\nat him.\nAt that moment the ship suddenly stopped rocking and swaying, the engine\npitch settled down to a gentle hum.\n- Hey, Ford, - said Zaphod, - that sounds good. Have you worked out the\ncontrols of this boat?\n- No, - said Ford, - I just stopped \ufb01ddling with them. I reckon we just go to\nwherever this ship is going and get o\ufb00 it fast.\n- Yeah, right, - said Zaphod.\n- I could tell you weren\u2019t really interested, - murmured Marvin to himself\nand slumped into a corner and switched himself o\ufb00.\n- Trouble is, - said Ford, - that the one instrument in this while ship that is\ngiving any reading is worrying me. If it is what I think it is, and if it\u2019s saying\nwhat I think it\u2019s saying, then we\u2019ve already gone too far back into the past.\nMaybe as much as two million years before our own time.", "9e4fc6cd-ddfa-47c8-a2bf-aed40aad18d7": "98 CHAPTER 20.\nZaphod shrugged.\n- Time is bunk, - he said.\n- I wonder who this ship belongs to anyway, - said Arthur.\n- Me, - said Zaphod.\n- No. Who it really belongs to.\n- Really me, - insisted Zaphod, - look, property is theft, right? Therefore\ntheft is property. Therefore this ship is mine, OK?\n- Tell the ship that, - said Arthur.\nZaphod strode over to the console.\n- Ship, - he said, banging on the panels, - this is your new owner speaking\nto...\nHe got no further. Several things happened at once.\nThe ship dropped out fo time travel mode and re-emerged into real space.\nAll the controls on the console, which had been shut down for the time trip\nnow lit up.\nA large vision screen above the console winked into life revealing a wide\nstarscape and a single very large sun dead ahead of them.\nNone of these things, however, were responsible for the fact that Zaphod was\nat the same moment hurled bodily backwards against the rear of the cabin, as\nwere all the others.\nThey were hurled back by a single thunderous clap of noise that thuddered\nout of the monitor speakers surrounding the vision screen.", "aaa4d189-4770-45cb-a38b-504811db65dc": "Chapter 21\nDown on the dry, red world of Kakrafoon, in the middle of the vast Rudlit\nDesert, the stage technicians were testing the sound system.\nThat is to say, the sound system was in the desert, not the stage technicians.\nThey had retreated to the safety of Disaster Area\u2019s giant control ship which hung\nin orbit some four hundred miles above the surface of the planet, and they were\ntesting the sound system from there. Anyone within \ufb01ve miles of the speaker\nsilos wouldn\u2019t have survived the tuning up.\nIf Arthur Dent had been within \ufb01ve miles of the speaker silos then his expir-\ning thought would have been that in both size and shape the sound rig closely\nresembled Manhattan. Risen out of the silos, the neutron phase speaker stacks\ntowered monstrously against the sky, obscuring the banks of plutonium reactors\nand seismic amps behind them.\nBuried deep in concrete bunkers beneath the city of speakers lay the instru-\nments that the musicians would control from their ship, the massive photon-\najuitar, the bass detonator and the Megabang drum complex.\nIt was going to be a noisy show.\nAboard the giant control ship, all was activity and bustle. Hotblack De-\nsiato\u2019s limoship, a mere tadpole beside it, had arrived and docked, and the\nlamented gentleman was being transported down the high vaulted corridors to\nmeet the medium who was going to interpret his psychic impulses on to the\najuitar keyboard.\nA doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, \ufb02own in\nat phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer\nwho had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing\nto come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn\u2019t a \ufb01sh.\nThe bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was\nnowhere on board.\nFrantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on\nSantraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been\nhappy over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his\nfriend.\nThe band\u2019s manager was profoundly relieved. It meant that for the sev-\nenteenth time on this tour the drums would be played by a robot and that\ntherefore the timing of the cymbalistics would be right.\nThe sub-ether was buzzing with the communications of the stage technicians\ntesting the speaker channels, and this it was that was being relayed to the\ninterior of the black ship.\n99", "d1521521-c4cf-40c4-95c2-965f470c1a4a": "100 CHAPTER 21.\nIts dazed occupants lay against the back wall of the cabin, and listened to\nthe voices on the monitor speakers.\n- OK, channel nine on power, - said a voice, - testing channel \ufb01fteen...\nAnother thumping crack of noise walloped through the ship.\n- Channel \ufb01fteen AOK, - said another voice.\nA third voice cut in.\n- The black stunt ship is now in position, - it said, - it\u2019s looking good. Gonna\nbe a great sundive. Stage computer on line?\nA computer voice answered.\n- On line, - it said.\n- Take control of the black ship.\n- Black ship locked into trajectory programme, on standby.\n- Testing channel twenty.\nZaphod leaped across the cabin and switched frequencies on the sub-ether\nreceiver before the next mind-pulverizing noise hit them. He stood there quiv-\nering.\n- What, - said Trillian in a small quiet voice, - does sundive mean?\n- It means, - said Marvin, - that the ship os going to dive into the sun. Sun...\nDive. It\u2019s very simple to understand. What do you expect if you steal Hotblack\nDesiato\u2019s stunt ship?\n- How do you know... - said Zaphod in a voice that would make a Vegan\nsnow lizard feel chilly, - that this is Hotblack Desiato\u2019s stuntship?\n- Simple, - said Marvin, - I parked it for him.\n- The why... didn\u2019t... you... tell us!\n- You said you wanted excitement and adventure and really wild things.\n- This is awful, - said Arthur unnecessarily in the pause which followed.\n- That\u2019s what I said, - con\ufb01rmed Marvin.\nOn a di\ufb00erent frequency, the sub-ether receiver had picked up a public broad-\ncast, which now echoed round the cabin.\n- ... \ufb01ne weather for the concert here this afternoon. I\u2019m standing here\nin front of the stage, - the reporter lied, - in the middle of the Rudlit Desert,\nand with the aid of hyperbinoptic glasses I can just about make out the huge\naudience cowering there on the horizon all around me. Behind me the speaker\nstacks rise like a sheer cli\ufb00 face, and high above me the sun is shining away\nand doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s going to hit it. The environmentalist lobby do know\nwhat\u2019s going to hit it, and they claim that the concert will cause earthquakes,\ntidal waves, hurricanes, irreparable damage to the atmosphere, and all the usual\nthings that environmentalists usually go on about.\n- But I\u2019ve just had a report that a representative of Disaster Area met with\nthe environmentalists at lunchtime, and had them all shot, so nothing now lies\nin the way of...\nZaphod switched it o\ufb00. He turned to Ford.\n- You know what I\u2019m thinking? - he said.\n- I think so, - said Ford.\n- Tell me what you think I\u2019m thinking.\n- I think you\u2019re thinking it\u2019s time we get o\ufb00 this ship.\n- I think you\u2019re right, - said Zaphod.\n- I think you\u2019re right, - said Ford.\n- How? - said Arthur.\n- Quiet, - said Ford and Zaphod, - we\u2019re thinking.", "225d39f6-29be-449b-be98-e23b789d498a": "101\n- So this is it, - said Arthur, - we\u2019re going to die.\n- I wish you\u2019d stop saying that, - said Ford.\nIt is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with,\non his \ufb01rst encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of\ncontinually stating and restating the very very obvious, as it \u201dIt\u2019s a nice day\u201d,\nor \u201dYou\u2019re very tall\u201d, or \u201dSo this is it, we\u2019re going to die\u201d.\nHis \ufb01rst theory was that if human beings didn\u2019t keep exercising their lips,\ntheir mouths probably seized up.\nAfter a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory,\nwhich was this - \u201dIf human beings don\u2019t keep exercising their lips, their brains\nstart working.\u201d\nIn fact, this second theory is more literally true of the Belcebron people of\nKakrafoon.\nThe Belcebron people used to cause great resentment and insecurity amongst\nneighboring races by being one of the most enlightened, accomplished, and above\nall quiet civilizations in the Galaxy.\nAs a punishment for this behaviour, which was held to be o\ufb00ensively self\nrighteous and provocative, a Galactic Tribunal in\ufb02icted on them that most cruel\nof all social diseases, telepathy. Consequently, in order to prevent themselves\nbroadcasting every slightest thought that crossed their minds to anyone within\na \ufb01ve mile radius, they now have to talk very loudly and continuously about\nthe weather, their little aches and pains, the match this afternoon and what a\nnoisy place Kakrafoon had suddenly become.\nAnother method of temporarily blotting out their minds is to play host to a\nDisaster Area concert.\nThe timing of the concert was critical.\nThe ship had to begin its dive before the concert began in order to hit the sun\nsix minutes and thirty-seven seconds before the climax of the song to which it\nrelated, so that the light of the solar \ufb02ares had time to travel out to Kakrafoon.\nThe ship had already been diving for several minutes by the time that Ford\nPrefect had completed his search of the other compartments of the black ship.\nHe burst back into the cabin.\nThe sun of Kakrafoon loomed terrifyingly large on the vision screen, its\nblazing white inferno of fusing hydrogen nuclei growing moment by moment as\nthe ship plunged onwards, unheeding the thumping and banging of Zaphod\u2019s\nhands on the control panel. Arthur and Trillian had the \ufb01xed expressions of\nrabbits on a night road who think that the best way of dealing with approaching\nheadlights is to stare them out.\nZaphod span round, wild-eyed.\n- Ford, - he said, - how many escape capsules are there?\n- None, - said Ford.\nZaphod gibbered.\n- Did you count them? - he yelled.\n- Twice, - said Ford, - did you manage to raise the stage crew on the radio?\n- Yeah, - said Zaphod, bitterly, - I said there were a whole bunch of people\non board, and they said to say \u201dhi\u201d to everybody.\nFord goggled.\n- Didn\u2019t you tell them who we were?\n- Oh yeah. They said it was a great honour. That and something about a\nrestaurant bill and my executors.", "d61da4ab-ba7c-43d5-91c7-7a712431e0f6": "102 CHAPTER 21.\nFord pushed Arthur aside and leaned forward over the control console.\n- Does none of this function? - he said savagely.\n- All overridden.\n- Smash the autopilot.\n- Find it \ufb01rst. Nothing connects.\nThere was a moment\u2019s cold silence.\nArthur was stumbling round the back of the cabin. He stopped suddenly.\n- Incidentally, - he said, - what does teleport mean?\nAnother moment passed.\nSlowly, the others turned to face him.\n- Probably the wrong moment to ask, - said Arthur, - It\u2019s just I remember\nhearing you use the word a short while ago and I only bring it up because...\n- Where, - said Ford Prefect quietly, - does it say teleport?\n- Well, just over here in fact, - said Arthur, pointing at a dark control box\nin the rear of the cabin, - Just under the word \u201demergency\u201d, above the word\n\u201dsystem\u201d and beside the sign saying \u201dout of order\u201d.\nIn the pandemonium that instantly followed, the only action to follow was\nthat of Ford Prefect lunging across the cabin to the small black box that Arthur\nhad indicated and stabbing repeatedly at the single small black button set into\nit.\nA six-foot square panel slid open beside it revealing a compartment which\nresembled a multiple shower unit that had found a new function in life as an\nelectrician\u2019s junk store. Hal\ufb03nished wiring hung from the ceiling, a jumble of\nabandoned components lay strewn on the \ufb02oor, and the programming panel\nlolled out of the cavity in the wall into which it should have been secured.\nA junior Disaster Area accountant, visiting the shipyard where this ship was\nbeing constructed, had demanded to know of the works foreman why the hell\nthey were \ufb01tting an extremely expensive teleport into a ship which only had one\nimportant journey to make, and that unmanned. The foreman had explained\nthat the teleport was available at a ten per cent discount and the accountant had\nexplained that this was immaterial; the foreman had explained that it was the\n\ufb01nest, most powerful and sophisticated teleport that money could buy and the\naccountant had explained that the money did not wish to buy it; the foreman\nhad explained that people would still need to enter and leave the ship and the\naccountant had explained that the ship sported a perfectly serviceable door;\nthe foreman had explained that the accountant could go and boil his head and\nthe accountant had explained to the foreman that the thing approaching him\nrapidly from his left was a knuckle sandwich. After the explanations had been\nconcluded, work was discontinued on the teleport which subsequently passed\nunnoticed on the invoice as \u201dSund. explns.\u201d at \ufb01ve times the price.\n- Hell\u2019s donkeys, - muttered Zaphod as he and Ford attempted to sort\nthrough the tangle of wiring.\nAfter a moment or so Ford told him to stand back. He tossed a coin into\nthe teleport and jiggled a switch on the lolling control panel. With a crackle\nand spit of light, the coin vanished.\n- That much of it works, - said Ford, - however, there is no guidance system.\nA matter transference teleport without guidance programming could put you...\nwell, anywhere.\nThe sun of Kakrafoon loomed huge on the screen.\n- Who cares, - said Zaphod, - we go where we go.", "fd4f359f-fc00-401f-b1a3-e8be8c861ca5": "103\n- And, - said Ford, - there is no autosystem. We couldn\u2019t all go. Someone\nwould have to stay and operate it.\nA solemn moment shu\ufb04ed past. The sun loomed larger and larger.\n- Hey, Marvin kid, - said Zaphod brightly, - how you doing?\n- Very badly I suspect, - muttered Marvin.\nA shortish while later, the concert on Kakrafoon reached an unexpected\nclimax.\nThe black ship with its single morose occupant had plunged on schedule into\nthe nuclear furnace of the sun. Massive solar \ufb02ares licked out from it millions\nof miles into space, thrilling and in a few cases spilling the dozen or so Flare\nRiders who had been coasting close to the surface of the sun in anticipation of\nthe moment.\nMoments before the \ufb02are light reached Kakrafoon the pounding desert cracked\nalong a deep faultline. A huge and hitherto undetected underground river lying\nfar beneath the surface gushed to the surface to be followed seconds later by\nthe eruption of millions of tons of boiling lava that \ufb02owed hundreds of feet into\nthe air, instantaneously vaporizing the river both above and below the surface\nin an explosion that echoed to the far side of the world and back again.\nThose - very few - who witnessed the event and survived swear that the\nwhole hundred thousand square miles of the desert rose into the air like a mile-\nthick pancake, \ufb02ipped itself over and fell back down. At that precise moment\nthe solar radiation from the \ufb02ares \ufb01ltered through the clouds of vaporized water\nand struck the ground.\nA year later, the hundred thousand square mile desert was thick with \ufb02owers.\nThe structure of the atmosphere around the planet was subtly altered. The\nsun blazed less harshly in the summer, the cold bit less bitterly in the winter,\npleasant rain fell more often, and slowly the desert world of Kakrafoon became\na paradise. Even the telepathic power with which the people of Kakrafoon had\nbeen cursed was permanently dispersed by the force of the explosion.\nA spokesman for Disaster Area - the one who had had all the environmen-\ntalists shot - was later quoted as saying that it had been \u201da good gig\u201d.\nMany people spoke movingly of the healing powers of music. A few sceptical\nscientists examined the records of the events more closely, and claimed that they\nhad discovered faint vestiges of a vast arti\ufb01cially induced Improbability Field\ndrifting in from a nearby region of space.", "18643acc-7fc3-46d0-af8d-cc54b044a034": "104 CHAPTER 21.", "7bb64859-b42b-4c8f-9e6b-0fc68c526d25": "Chapter 22\nArthur woke up and instantly regretted it. Hangovers he\u2019d had, but never\nanything on this scale. This was it, this was the big one, this was the ultimate\npits. Matter transference beams, he decided, were not as much fun as, say, a\ngood solid kick in the head.\nBeing for the moment unwilling to move on account of a dull stomping\nthrob he was experiencing, he lay a while and thought. The trouble with most\nforms of transport, he thought, is basically one of them not being worth all the\nbother. On Earth - when there had been an Earth, before it was demolished\nto make way for a new hyperspace bypass - the problem had been with cars.\nThe disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the\nground where it had been safely hidden out of harm\u2019s way, turning it into tar to\ncover the land with, smoke to \ufb01ll the air with and pouring the rest into the sea,\nall seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from\none place to another - particularly when the place you arrived at had probably\nbecome, as a result of this, very similar to the place you had left, i.e. covered\nwith tar, full of smoke and short of \ufb01sh.\nAnd what about matter transference beams? Any form of transport which\ninvolved tearing you apart atom by atom, \ufb02inging those atoms through the sub-\nether, and then jamming them back together again just when they were getting\ntheir \ufb01rst taste of freedom for years had to be bad news.\nMany people had thought exactly this before Arthur Dent and had even\ngone to the lengths of writing songs about it. Here is one that used regularly to\nbe chanted by huge crowds outside the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Teleport\nSystems factory on Happi-Werld III:\nAldebaran\u2019s great, OK,\nAlgol\u2019s pretty neat,\nBetelgeuse\u2019s pretty girls,\nWill knock you o\ufb00 your feet.\nThey\u2019ll do anything you like,\nReal fast and then real slow,\nBut if you have to take me apart to get me there,\nThen I don\u2019t want to go.\nSinging,\nTake me apart, take me apart,\nWhat a way to roam,\nAnd if you have to take me apart to get me there,\nI\u2019d rather stay at home.\n105", "d0d6a7d4-e2a3-4c27-a0c8-d809dea30598": "106 CHAPTER 22.\nSirius is paved with gold\nSo I\u2019ve heard it said\nBy nuts who then go on to say\n\u201dSee Tau before you\u2019re dead.\u201d\nI\u2019ll gladly take the high road\nOr even take the low,\nBut if you have to take me apart to get me there,\nThen I, for one, won\u2019t go.\nSinging,\nTake me apart, take me apart, You must be o\ufb00 your head,\nAnd if you try to take me apart to get me there,\nI\u2019ll stay right here in bed.\nI teleported home one night,\nWith Ron and Sid and Meg,\nRon stole Meggie\u2019s heart away,\nAnd I got Sidney\u2019s leg.\nArthur felt the waves of pain slowly receding, though he was still aware of a\ndull stomping throb. Slowly, carefully, he stood up.\n- Can you hear a dull stomping throb? - said Ford Prefect.\nArthur span round and wobbled uncertainly. Ford Prefect was approaching\nlooking red eyed and pasty.\n- Where are we? - gasped Arthur.\nFord looked around. They were standing in a long curving corridor which\nstretched out of sight in both directions. The outer steel wall - which was\npainted in that sickly shade of pale green which they use in schools, hospitals\nand mental asylums to keep the inmates subdued - curved over the tops of\ntheir heads where it met the inner perpendicular wall which, oddly enough was\ncovered in dark brown hessian wall weave. The \ufb02oor was of dark green ribbed\nrubber.\nFord moved over to a very thick dark transparent panel set in the outer wall.\nIt was several layers deep, yet through it he could see pinpoints of distant stars.\n- I think we\u2019re in a spaceship of some kind, - he said.\nDown the corridor came the sound of a dull stomping throb.\n- Trillian? - called Arthur nervously, - Zaphod?\nFord shrugged.\n- Nowhere about, - he said, - I\u2019ve looked. They could be anywhere. An\nunprogrammed teleport can throw you light years in any direction. Judging by\nthe way I feel I should think we\u2019ve travelled a very long way indeed.\n- How do you feel?\n- Bad.\n- Do you think they\u2019re...\n- Where they are, how they are, there\u2019s no way we can know and no way we\ncan do anything about it. Do what I do.\n- What?\n- Don\u2019t think about it.\nArthur turned this thought over in his mind, reluctantly saw the wisdom of\nit, tucked it up and put it away. He took a deep breath.\n- Footsteps! - exclaimed Ford suddenly.\n- Where?\n- That noise. That stomping throb. Pounding feet. Listen!", "221bba29-d070-49b8-8580-46f955905b05": "107\nArthur listened. The noise echoed round the corridor at them from an\nindeterminate distance. It was the mu\ufb04ed sound of pounding footsteps, and it\nwas noticeably louder.\n- Let\u2019s move, - said Ford sharply. They both moved - in opposite directions.\n- Not that way, - said Ford, - that\u2019s where they\u2019re coming from.\n- No it\u2019s not, - said Arthur, - They\u2019re coming from that way.\n- They\u2019re not, they\u2019re...\nThey both stopped. They both turned. They both listened intently. They\nboth agreed with each other. They both set o\ufb00 into opposite directions again.\nFear gripped them.\nFrom both directions the noise was getting louder.\nA few yards to their left another corridor ran at right angles to the inner\nwall. They ran to it and hurried along it. It was dark, immensely long and, as\nthey passed down it, gave them the impression that it was getting colder and\ncolder. Other corridors gave o\ufb00 it to the left and right, each very dark and each\nsubjecting them to sharp blasts of icy air as they passed.\nThey stopped for a moment in alarm. The further down the corridor they\nwent, the louder became the sound of pounding feet.\nThey pressed themselves back against the cold wall and listened furiously.\nThe cold, the dark and the drumming of disembodied feet was getting to them\nbadly. Ford shivered, partly with the cold, but partly with the memory of stories\nhis favourite mother used to tell him when he was a mere slip of a Betelgeusian,\nankle high to an Arcturan Megagrasshopper: stories of dead ships, haunted\nhulks that roamed restlessly round the obscurer regions of deep space infested\nwith demons or the ghosts of forgotten crews; stories too of incautious travellers\nwho found and entered such ships; stories of... - then Ford remembered the\nbrown hessian wall weave in the \ufb01rst corridor and pulled himself together. How-\never ghosts and demons may choose to decorate their death hulks, he thought\nto himself, he would lay any money you liked it wasn\u2019t with hessian wall weave.\nHe grasped Arthur by the arm.\n- Back the way we came, - he said \ufb01rmly and they started to retrace their\nsteps.\nA moment later they leap like startled lizards down the nearest corridor\njunction as the owners of the drumming feet suddenly hove into view directly\nin front of them.\nHidden behind the corner they goggled in amazement as about two dozen\noverweight men and women pounded past them in track suits panting and\nwheezing in a manner that would make a heart surgeon gibber.\nFord Prefect stared after them.\n- Joggers! - he hissed, as the sound of their feet echoed away up and down\nthe network of corridors.\n- Joggers? - whispered Arthur Dent.\n- Joggers, - said Ford prefect with a shrug.\nThe corridor they were concealed in was not like the others. It was very\nshort, and ended at a large steel door. Ford examined it, discovered the opening\nmechanism and pushed it wide.\nThe \ufb01rst thing that hit their eyes was what appeared to be a co\ufb03n.\nAnd the next four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine things that hit\ntheir eyes were also co\ufb03ns.", "98299c28-6152-468b-8480-11cfdbdaa1ee": "108 CHAPTER 22.", "0de3efb1-d24d-4b2f-9beb-93424005bd5e": "Chapter 23\nThe vault was low ceilinged, dimly lit and gigantic. At the far end, about three\nhundred yards away an archway let through to what appeared to be a similar\nchamber, similarly occupied.\nFord Prefect let out a low whistle as he stepped down on to the \ufb02oor of the\nvault.\n- Wild, - he said.\n- What\u2019s so great about dead people? - asked Arthur, nervously stepping\ndown after him.\n- Dunno, - said Ford, - Let\u2019s \ufb01nd out shall we?\nOn closer inspection the co\ufb03ns seemed to be more like sarcophagi. They\nstood about waist high and were constructed of what appeared to be white\nmarble, which is almost certainly what it was - something that only appeared to\nbe white marble. The tops were semi-translucent, and through them could dimly\nbe perceived the features of their late and presumably lamented occupants.\nThey were humanoid, and had clearly left the troubles of whatever world it was\nthey came from far behind them, but beyond that little else could be discerned.\nRolling slowly round the \ufb02oor between the sarcophagi was a heavy, oily\nwhite gas which Arthur at \ufb01rst thought might be there to give the place a little\natmosphere until he discovered that it also froze his ankles. The sarcophagi too\nwere intensely cold to the touch.\nFord suddenly crouched down beside one of them. He pulled a corner of his\ntowel out of his satchel and started to rub furiously at something.\n- Look, there\u2019s a plaque on this one, - he explained to Arthur, - It\u2019s frosted\nover.\nHe rubbed the frost clear and examined the engraved characters. To Arthur\nthey looked like the footprints of a spider that had had one too many of whatever\nit is that spiders have on a night out, but Ford instantly recognized an early\nform of Galactic Eezeereed.\n- It says \u201dGolgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B, Hold Seven, Telephone Sanitizer\nSecond Class\u201d - and a serial number.\n- A telephone sanitizer? - said Arthur, - a dead telephone sanitizer?\n- Best kind.\n- But what\u2019s he doing here?\nFord peered through the top at the \ufb01gure within.\n- Not a lot, - he said, and suddenly \ufb02ashed one of those grins of his which\nalways made people think he\u2019d been overdoing things recently and should try\nto get some rest.\n109", "3863786f-c629-434d-8676-934d4b7d6442": "110 CHAPTER 23.\nHe scampered over to another sarcophagus. A moment\u2019s brisk towel work\nand he announced:\n- This one\u2019s a dead hairdresser. Hoopy!\nThe next sarcophagus revealed itself to be the last resting place of an ad-\nvertising account executive; the one after that contained a second-hand car\nsalesman, third class.\nAn inspection hatch let into the \ufb02oor suddenly caught Ford\u2019s attention, and\nhe squatted down to unfasten it, thrashing away at the clouds of freezing gas\nthat threatened to envelope him.\nA thought occurred to Arthur.\n- If these are just co\ufb03ns, - he said, - Why are they kept so cold?\n- Or, indeed, why are they kept anyway, - said Ford tugging the hatchway\nopen. The gas poured down through it. - Why in fact is anyone going to all the\ntrouble and expense of carting \ufb01ve thousand dead bodies through space?\n- Ten thousand, - said Arthur, pointing at the archway through which the\nnext chamber was dimly visible.\nFord stuck his head down through the \ufb02oor hatchway. He looked up again.\n- Fifteen thousand, - he said, - there\u2019s another lot down there.\n- Fifteen million, - said a voice.\n- That\u2019s a lot, - said Ford, - A lot a lot.\n- Turn around slowly, - barked the voice, - and put your hands up. Any\nother move and I blast you into tiny tiny bits.\n- Hello? - said Ford, turning round slowly, putting his hands up and not\nmaking any other move.\n- Why, - said Arthur Dent, - isn\u2019t anyone ever pleased to see us?\nStanding silhouetted in the doorway through which they had entered the\nvault was the man who wasn\u2019t pleased to see them. His displeasure was com-\nmunicated partly by the barking hectoring quality of his voice and partly by\nthe viciousness with which he waved a long silver Kill-O-Zap gun at them. The\ndesigner of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush.\n- Make it evil, - he\u2019d been told. - Make it totally clear that this gun has\na right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the\nwrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort\nof spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a\ngun for hanging over the \ufb01replace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun\nfor going out and making people miserable with.\nFord and Arthur looked at the gun unhappily.\nThe man with the gun moved from the door and circled round them. As\nhe came into the light they could see his black and gold uniform on which the\nbuttons were so highly polished that they shone with an intensity that would\nhave made an approaching motorist \ufb02ash his lights in annoyance.\nHe gestured at the door.\n- Out, - he said. People who can supply that amount of \ufb01re power don\u2019t\nneed to supply verbs as well. Ford and Arthur went out, closely followed by the\nwrong end of the Kill-O-Zap gun and the buttons.\nTurning into the corridor they were jostled by twenty-four oncoming joggers,\nnow showered and changed, who swept on past them into the vault. Arthur\nturned to watch them in confusion.\n- Move! - screamed their captor.\nArthur moved.", "cce14a12-3c79-4e2d-bcbb-1efe2091f690": "111\nFord shrugged and moved.\nIn the vault the joggers went to twenty-four empty sarcophagi along the side\nwall, opened them, climbed in, and fell into twenty-four dreamless sleeps.", "06c1e76a-c7eb-4dfe-bf96-70f1909611e7": "112 CHAPTER 23.", "4fd3baf4-0d43-4240-9e52-514450cf282a": "Chapter 24\n- Er, captain...\n- Yes, Number One?\n- Just heard a sort of report thingy from Number Two.\n- Oh, dear.\nHigh up in the bridge of the ship, the Captain stared out into the in\ufb01nite\nreaches of space with mild irritation. From where he reclined beneath a wide\ndomed bubble he could see before and above them the vast panorama of stars\nthrough which they were moving - a panorama that had thinned out notica-\nbly during the course of the voyage. Turning and looking backwards, over the\nvast two-mile bulk of the ship he could see the far denser mass of stars behind\nthem which seemed to form almost a solid band. This was the view through\nthe Galactic centre from which they were travelling, and indeed had been trav-\nelling for years, at a speed that he couldn\u2019t quite remember at the moment,\nbut he knew it was terribly fast. It was something approaching the speed of\nsomething or other, or was it three times the speed of something else? Jolly\nimpressive anyway. He peered into the bright distance behind the ship, looking\nfor something. He did this every few minutes or so, but never found what he\nwas looking for. He didn\u2019t let it worry him though. The scientist chaps had\nbeen very insistent that everything was going to be perfectly alright providing\nnobody panicked and everybody got on and did their bit in an orderly fashion.\nHe wasn\u2019t panicking. As far as he was concerned everything was going\nsplendidly. He dabbed at his shoulder with a large frothy sponge. It crept back\ninto his mind that he was feeling mildly irritated about something. Now what\nwas all that about? A slight cough alerted him to the fact that the ship\u2019s \ufb01rst\no\ufb03cer was still standing nearby.\nNice chap, Number One. Not of the very brightest, had the odd spot of\ndi\ufb03culty doing up his shoe laces, but jolly good o\ufb03cer material for all that.\nThe Captain wasn\u2019t a man to kick a chap when he was bending over trying to\ndo up his shoe laces, however long it took him. Not like that ghastly Number\nTwo, strutting about all over the place, polishing his buttons, issuing reports\nevery hour: \u201dShip\u2019s still moving, Captain.\u201d \u201dStill on course, Captain.\u201d \u201dOxygen\nlevels still being maintained, Captain.\u201d \u201dGive it a miss,\u201d was the Captain\u2019s vote.\nAh yes, that was the thing that had been irritating him. He peered down at\nNumber One.\n- Yes, Captain, he was shouting something or other about having found some\nprisoners...\nThe Captain thought about this. Seemed pretty unlikely to him, but he\n113", "b817b487-a126-4cfe-bb62-0356d116a134": "114 CHAPTER 24.\nwasn\u2019t one to stand in his o\ufb03cers\u2019 way.\n- Well, perhaps that\u2019ll keep him happy for a bit, - he said, - He\u2019s always\nwanted some.\nFord Prefect and Arthur Dent trudged onwards up the ship\u2019s apparently\nendless corridors. Number Two marched behind them barking the occasional\norder about not making any false moves or trying any funny stu\ufb00. They seemed\nto have passed at least a mile of continuous brown hessian wall weave. Finally\nthey reached a large steel door which slid open when Number Two shouted at\nit.\nThey entered.\nTo the eyes of Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent, the most remarkable thing\nabout the ship\u2019s bridge was not the \ufb01fty foot diameter hemispherical dome\nwhich covered it, and through which the dazzling display of stars shone down\non them: to people who have eaten at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe,\nsuch wonders are commonplace. Nor was it the bewildering array of instruments\nthat crowded the long circumferential wall around them. To Arthur this was\nexactly what spaceships were traditionally supposed to look like, and to Ford it\nlooked thoroughly antiquated: it con\ufb01rmed his suspicions that Disaster Area\u2019s\nstuntship had taken them back at least a million, if not two million, years before\ntheir own time.\nNo, the thing that really caught them o\ufb00 balance was the bath.\nThe bath stood on a six foot pedestal of rough hewn blue water crystal and\nwas of a baroque monstrosity not often seen outside the Maximegalon Museum\nof Diseased Imaginings. An intestinal jumble of plumbing had been picked out\nin gold leaf rather than decently buried at midnight in an unmarked grave; the\ntaps and shower attachment would have made a gargoyle jump.\nAs the dominant centrepiece of a starship bridge it was terribly wrong, and\nit was with the embittered air of a man who knew this that Number Two\napproached it.\n- Captain, sir! - he shouted through clenched teeth - a di\ufb03cult trick but\nhe\u2019d had years during which to perfect it.\nA large genial face and a genial foam covered arm popped up above the rim\nof the monstrous bath.\n- Ah, hello, Number Two, - said the Captain, waving a cheery sponge, -\nhaving a nice day?\nNumber Two snapped even further to attention than he already was.\n- I have brought you the prisoners I located in freezer bay seven, sir! - he\nyapped.\nFord and Arthur coughed in confusion.\n- Er... hello, - they said.\nThe Captain beamed at them. So Number Two had really found some\nprisoners. Well, good for him, thought the Captain, nice to see a chap doing\nwhat he\u2019s best at.\n- Oh, hello there, - he said to them, - Excuse me not getting up, having a\nquick bath. Well, jynnan tonnyx all round then. Look in the fridge Number\none.\n- Certainly sir.\nIt is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much im-\nportance to attach, that something like 85Galaxy, be they primitive or highly\nadvanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N\u2019N-T\u2019N-ix, or", "7a834fce-1c08-4ac0-962e-6ed796e10d8b": "115\njinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic\ntheme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian\n\u201dchinanto/mnigs\u201d which is ordinary water server at slightly above room temper-\nature, and the Gagrakackan \u201dtzjin-anthony-ks\u201d which kills cows at a hundred\npaces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact\nthat the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before\nthe worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds.\nWhat can be made of this fact? It exists in total isolation. As far as any\ntheory of structural linguistics is concerned it is right o\ufb00 the graph, and yet it\npersists. Old structural linguists get very angry when young structural linguists\ngo on about it. Young structural linguists get deeply excited about it and stay\nup late at night convinced that they are very close to something of profound\nimportance, and end up becoming old structural linguists before their time,\ngetting very angry with the young ones. Structural linguistics is a bitterly\ndivided and unhappy discipline, and a large number of its practitioners spend\ntoo many nights drowning their problems in Ouisghian Zodahs.\nNumber Two stood before the Captain\u2019s bathtub trembling with frustration.\n- Don\u2019t you want to interrogate the prisoners sir? - he squealed.\nThe Captain peered at him in bemusement.\n- Why on Golgafrincham should I want to do that? - he asked.\n- To get information out of them, sir! To \ufb01nd out why they came here!\n- Oh no, no, no, - said the Captain, - I expect they just dropped in for a\nquick jynnan tonnyx, don\u2019t you?\n- But sir, they\u2019re my prisoners! I must interrogate them!\nThe Captain looked at them doubtfully.\n- Oh all right, - he said, - if you must. Ask them what they want to drink.\nA hard cold gleam came into Number Two\u2019s eyes. He advanced slowly on\nFord Prefect and Arthur Dent.\n- All right, you scum, - he growled, - you vermin... - He jabbed Ford with\nthe Kill-O-Zap gun.\n- Steady on, Number Two, - admonished the Captain gently.\n- What do you want to drink!!! - Number Two screamed.\n- Well the jynnan tonnyx sounds very nice to me, - said Ford, - What about\nyou Arthur?\nArthur blinked.\n- What? Oh, er, yes, - he said.\n- With ice or without? - bellowed Number Two.\n- Oh, with please, - said Ford.\n- Lemon??!!\n- Yes please, - said Ford, - and do you have any of those little biscuits? You\nknow, the cheesy ones?\n- I\u2019m asking the questions!!!! - howled Number Two, his body quaking with\napoplectic fury.\n- Er, Number Two... - said the Captain softly.\n- Sir?!\n- Push o\ufb00, would you, there\u2019s a good chap. I\u2019m trying to have a relaxing\nbath.\nNumber Two\u2019s eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting\nand Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your", "e7a6f43a-18b2-486f-bd31-da0b0f621138": "116 CHAPTER 24.\nopponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having di\ufb03culty\nkeeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem.\nHe advanced on the captain, his (Number Two\u2019s) mouth a thin hard line.\nAgain, tricky to know why this is understood as \ufb01ghting behaviour. If, whilst\nwandering through the jungle of Traal, you were suddenly to come upon the\nfabled Ravenous Bugblatter Beast, you would have reason to be grateful if its\nmouth was a thin hard line rather than, as it usually is, a gaping mass of\nslavering fangs.\n- May I remind you sir, - hissed Number Two at the Captain, - that you\nhave now been in that bath for over three years?! - This \ufb01nal shot delivered,\nNumber Two spun on his heel and stalked o\ufb00 to a corner to practise darting eye\nmovements in the mirror.\nThe Captain squirmed in his bath. He gave Ford Prefect a lame smile.\n- Well you need to relax a lot in a job like mine, - he said.\nFord slowly lowered his hands. It provoked no reaction. Arthur lowered his.\nTreading very slowly and carefully, Ford moved over to the bath pedestal.\nHe patted it.\n- Nice, - he lied.\nHe wondered if it was safe to grin. Very slowly and carefully, he grinned. It\nwas safe.\n- Er... - he said to the Captain.\n- Yes? - said the Captain.\n- I wonder, - said Ford, - could I ask you actually what your job is in fact?\nA hand tapped him on the shoulder. He span round.\nIt was the \ufb01rst o\ufb03cer.\n- Your drinks, - he said.\n- Ah, thank you, - said Ford. He and Arthur took their jynnan tonnyx.\nArthur sipped his, and was surprised to discover it tasted very like a whisky\nand soda.\n- I mean, I couldn\u2019t help noticing, - said Ford, also taking a sip, - the bodies.\nIn the hold.\n- Bodies? - said the Captain in surprise.\nFord paused and thought to himself. Never take anything for granted, he\nthought. Could it be that the Captain doesn\u2019t know he\u2019s got \ufb01fteen million\ndead bodies on his ship?\nThe Captain was nodding cheerfully at him. He also appeared to be playing\nwith a rubber duck.\nFord looked around. Number Two was staring at him in the mirror, but\nonly for an instant: his eyes were constantly on the move. The \ufb01rst o\ufb03cer was\njust standing there holding the drinks tray and smiling benignly.\n- Bodies? - said the Captain again.\nFord licked his lips.\n- Yes, - he said, - All those dead telephone sanitizers and account executives,\nyou know, down in the hold.\nThe Captain stared at him. Suddenly he threw back his head and laughed.\n- Oh they\u2019re not dead, - he said, - Good Lord no, no they\u2019re frozen. They\u2019re\ngoing to be revived.\nFord did something he very rarely did. He blinked.\nArthur seemed to come out of a trance.\n- You mean you\u2019ve got a hold full of frozen hairdressers? - he said.", "16dd861a-a2aa-46dc-964e-1a6da9907788": "117\n- Oh yes, - said the Captain, - Millions of them. Hairdressers, tired TV pro-\nducers, insurance salesmen, personnel o\ufb03cers, security guards, public relations\nexecutives, management consultants, you name them. We\u2019re going to colonize\nanother planet.\nFord wobbled very slightly.\n- Exciting isn\u2019t it? - said the Captain.\n- What, with that lot? - said Arthur.\n- Ah, now don\u2019t misunderstand me, - said the Captain, - we\u2019re just one of\nthe ships in the Ark Fleet. We\u2019re the \u201dB\u201d Ark you see. Sorry, could I just ask\nyou to run a bit more hot water for me?\nArthur obliged, and a cascade of pink frothy water swirled around the bath.\nThe Captain let out a sigh of pleasure.\n- Thank you so much my dear fellow. Do help yourselves to more drinks of\ncourse.\nFord tossed down his drink, took the bottle from the \ufb01rst o\ufb03cer\u2019s tray and\nre\ufb01lled his glass to the top.\n- What, - he said, - is a \u201dB\u201d Ark?\n- This is, - said the Captain, and swished the foamy water around joyfully\nwith the duck.\n- Yes, - said Ford, - but...\n- Well what happened you see was, - said the Captain, - our planet, the\nworld from which we have come, was, so to speak, doomed.\n- Doomed?\n- Oh yes. So what everyone thought was, let\u2019s pack the whole population\ninto some giant spaceships and go and settle on another planet.\nHaving told this much of his story, he settled back with a satis\ufb01ed grunt.\n- You mean a less doomed one? - promoted Arthur.\n- What did you say dear fellow?\n- A less doomed planet. You were going to settle on.\n- Are going to settle on, yes. So it was decided to build three ships, you see,\nthree Arks in Space, and... I\u2019m not boring you am I?\n- No, no, - said Ford \ufb01rmly, - it\u2019s fascinating.\n- You know it\u2019s delightful, - re\ufb02ected the Captain, - to have someone else to\ntalk to for a change.\nNumber Two\u2019s eyes darted feverishly about the room again and then settled\nback on the mirror, like a pair of \ufb02ies brie\ufb02y distracted from their favourite prey\nof months old meat.\n- Trouble with a long journey like this, - continued the Captain, - is that you\nend up just talking to yourself a lot, which gets terribly boring because half the\ntime you know what you\u2019re going to say next.\n- Only half the time? - asked Arthur in surprise.\nThe Captain thought for a moment.\n- Yes, about half I\u2019d say. Anyway - where\u2019s the soap? - He \ufb01shed around\nand found it.\n- Yes, so anyway, - he resumed, - the idea was that into the \ufb01rst ship, the\n\u201dA\u201d ship, would go all the brilliant leaders, the scientists, the great artists, you\nknow, all the achievers; and into the third, or \u201dC\u201d ship, would go all the people\nwho did the actual work, who made things and did things, and then into the\n\u201dB\u201d ship - that\u2019s us - would go everyone else, the middlemen you see.\nHe smiled happily at them.", "98b4046c-8254-4bff-9966-d9c764321483": "118 CHAPTER 24.\n- And we were sent o\ufb00 \ufb01rst, - he concluded, and hummed a little bathing\ntune.\nThe little bathing tune, which had been composed for him by one of his\nworld\u2019s most exciting and proli\ufb01c jingle writer (who was currently asleep in hold\nthirty-six some nine hundred yards behind them) covered what would otherwise\nhave been an awkward moment of silence. Ford and Arthur shu\ufb04ed their feet\nand furiously avoided each other\u2019s eyes.\n- Er... - said Arthur after a moment, - what exactly was it that was wrong\nwith your planet then?\n- Oh, it was doomed, as I said, - said the Captain, - Apparently it was going\nto crash into the sun or something. Or maybe it was that the moon was going to\ncrash into us. Something of the kind. Absolutely terrifying prospect whatever\nit was.\n- Oh, - said the \ufb01rst o\ufb03cer suddenly, - I thought it was that the planet was\ngoing to be invaded by a gigantic swarm of twelve foot piranha bees. Wasn\u2019t\nthat it?\nNumber Two span around, eyes ablaze with a cold hard light that only comes\nwith the amount of practise he was prepared to put in.\n- That\u2019s not what I was told! - he hissed, - My commanding o\ufb03cer told me\nthat the entire planet was in imminent danger of being eaten by an enormous\nmutant star goat!\n- Oh really... - said Ford Prefect.\n- Yes! A monstrous creature from the pit of hell with scything teeth ten\nthousand miles long, breath that would boil oceans, claws that could tear conti-\nnents from their roots, a thousand eyes that burned like the sun, slavering jaws\na million miles across, a monster such as you have never... never... ever...\n- And they made sure they sent you lot o\ufb00 \ufb01rst did they? - inquired Arthur.\n- Oh yes, - said the Captain, - well everyone said, very nicely I thought, that\nit was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet\nwhere they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.\n- Oh yes, - agreed Ford, - I can see that would be very important. And the\nother ships, er... they followed on after you did they?\nFor a moment the Captain did not answer. He twisted round in his bath\nand gazed backwards over the huge bulk of the ship towards the bright galactic\ncentre. He squinted into the inconceivable distance.\n- Ah. Well it\u2019s funny you should say that, - he said and allowed himself\na slight frown at Ford Prefect, \u201dbecause curiously enough we haven\u2019t heard a\npeep out of them since we left \ufb01ve years ago... but they must be behind us\nsomewhere.\nHe peered o\ufb00 into the distance again.\nFord peered with him and gave a thoughtful frown.\n- Unless of course, - he said softly, - they were eaten by the goat...\n- Ah yes... - said the Captain with a slight hesitancy creeping into his voice,\n- the goat... - His eyes passed over the solid shapes of the instruments and\ncomputers that lined the bridge. They winked away innocently at him. He\nstared out at the stars, but none of them said a word. He glanced at his \ufb01rst\nand second o\ufb03cers, but they seemed lost in their own thoughts for a moment.\nHe glanced at Ford Prefect who raised his eyebrows at him.\n- It\u2019s a funny thing you know, - said the Captain at last, - but now that I\nactually come to tell the story to someone else... I mean does it strike you as", "956df6f4-62eb-44fe-a813-98f2ede0ca36": "119\nodd Number Two?\n- Errrrrrrrrrrr... - said Number Two.\n- Well, - said Ford, - I can see that you\u2019ve got a lot of things you\u2019re going to\ntalk about, so, thanks for the drinks, and if you could sort of drop us o\ufb00 at the\nnearest convenient planet...\n- Ah, well that\u2019s a little di\ufb03cult you see, - said the Captain, - because our\ntrajectory thingy was preset before we left Golgafrincham, I think partly because\nI\u2019m not very good with \ufb01gures...\n- You mean we\u2019re stuck here on this ship? - exclaimed Ford suddenly losing\npatience with the whole charade, - When are you meant to be reaching this\nplanet you\u2019re meant to be colonizing?\n- Oh, we\u2019re nearly there I think, - said the Captain, - any second now. It\u2019s\nprobably time I was getting out of this bath in fact. Oh, I don\u2019t know though,\nwhy stop just when I\u2019m enjoying it?\n- So we\u2019re actually going to land in a minute?\n- Well not so much land, in fact, not actually land as such, no... er...\n- What are you talking about? - said Ford sharply.\n- Well, - said the Captain, picking his way through the words carefully, - I\nthink as far as I can remember we were programmed to crash on it.\n- Crash? - shouted Ford and Arthur.\n- Er, yes, - said the Captain, - yes, it\u2019s all part of the plan I think. There\nwas a terribly good reason for it which I can\u2019t quite remember at the moment.\nIt was something to with... er...\nFord exploded.\n- You\u2019re a load of useless bloody loonies! - he shouted.\n- Ah yes, that was it, - beamed the Captain, - that was the reason.", "3b0c3961-a59e-4480-a14a-31127b6fa808": "120 CHAPTER 24.", "c2a0bf18-d722-4410-9a15-ad7e573a6afb": "Chapter 25\nThe Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the planet of\nGolgafrincham: It is a planet with an ancient and mysterious history, rich in\nlegend, red, and occasionally green with the blood of those who sought in times\ngone by to conquer her; a land of parched and barren landscapes, of sweet and\nsultry air heady with the scent of the perfumed springs that trickle over its\nhot and dusty rocks and nourish the dark and musty lichens beneath; a land\nof fevered brows and intoxicated imaginings, particularly amongst those who\ntaste the lichens; a land also of cool and shaded thoughts amongst those who\nhave learnt to forswear the lichens and \ufb01nd a tree to sit beneath; a land also of\nsteel and blood and heroism; a land of the body and of the spirit. This was its\nhistory.\nAnd in all this ancient and mysterious history, the most mysterious \ufb01gures\nof all were without doubt those of the Great Circling Poets of Arium. These\nCircling Poets used to live in remote mountain passes where they would lie in\nwait for small bands of unwary travellers, circle round them, and throw rocks\nat them.\nAnd when the travellers cried out, saying why didn\u2019t they go away and\nget on with writing some poems instead of pestering people with all this rock-\nthrowing business, they would suddenly stop, and then break into one of the\nseven hundred and ninety-four great Song Cycles of Vassilian. These songs were\nall of extraordinary beauty, and even more extraordinary length, and all fell into\nexactly the same pattern.\nThe \ufb01rst part of each song would tell how there once went forth from the\nCity of Vassilian a party of \ufb01ve sage princes with four horses. The princes, who\nare of course brave, noble and wise, travel widely in distant lands, fought giant\nogres, pursue exotic philosophies, take tea with weird gods and rescue beautiful\nmonsters from ravening princesses before \ufb01nally announcing that they have\nachieved enlightenment and that their wanderings are therefore accomplished.\nThe second, and much longer, part of each song would then tell of all their\nbickerings about which one of them is going to have to walk back.\nAll this lay in the planet\u2019s remote past. It was, however, a descendant of\none of these eccentric poets who invented the spurious tales of impending doom\nwhich enabled the people of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless\nthird of their population. The other two-thirds stayed \ufb01rmly at home and lived\nfull, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent\ndisease contracted from a dirty telephone.\n121", "ca639a69-bef4-4a64-a0b7-872ce1d71f33": "122 CHAPTER 25.", "30604dcf-d88c-4fb0-9161-b98773e65655": "Chapter 26\nThat night the ship crash-landed on to an utterly insigni\ufb01cant little green-blue\nplanet which circled a small unregarded yellow sun in the uncharted backwaters\nof the unfashionable end of the Western spiral arm of the Galaxy.\nIn the hours preceding the crash Ford Prefect had fought furiously but in\nvain to unlock the controls of the ship from their pre-ordained \ufb02ight path. It\nhad quickly become apparent to him that the ship had been programmed to\nconvey its payload safely, in uncomfortably, to its new home but to cripple itself\nbeyond repair in the process.\nIts screaming, blazing descent through the atmosphere had stripped away\nmost of its superstructure and outer shielding, and its \ufb01nal inglorious belly\ufb02op\ninto a murky swamp had left its crew only a few hours of darkness during which\nto revive and o\ufb04oad its deep-frozen and unwanted cargo for the ship began to\nsettle almost at once, slowly upending its gigantic bulk in the stagnant slime.\nOnce or twice during the night it was starkly silhouetted against the sky as\nburning meteors - the detritus of its descent - \ufb02ashed across the sky.\nIn the grey pre-dawn light it let out an obscene roaring gurgle and sank for\never into the stinking depths.\nWhen the sun came up that morning it shed its thin watery light over a\nvast area heaving with wailing hairdressers, public relations executives, opinion\npollsters and the rest, all clawing their way desperately to dry land.\nA less strong minded sun would probably have gone straight back down\nagain, but it continued to climb its way through the sky and after a while the\nin\ufb02uence of its warming rays began to have some restoring e\ufb00ect on the feebly\nstruggling creatures.\nCountless numbers had, unsurprisingly, been lost to the swamp in the night,\nand millions more had been sucked down with the ship, but those that survived\nstill numbered hundreds of thousands and as the day wore on they crawled out\nover the surrounding countryside, each looking for a few square feet of solid\nground on which to collapse and recover from their nightmare ordeal.\nTwo \ufb01gures moved further a\ufb01eld.\nFrom a nearby hillside Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent watched the horror of\nwhich they could not feel a part.\n- Filthy dirty trick to pull, - muttered Arthur.\nFord scraped a stick along the ground and shrugged.\n- An imaginative solution to a problem I\u2019d have thought, - he said.\n- Why can\u2019t people just learn to live together in peace and harmony? - said\nArthur.\n123", "62295631-d3fa-46c7-ae27-41fb83d95921": "124 CHAPTER 26.\nFord gave a loud, very hollow laugh.\n- Forty-two! - he said with a malicious grin, - No, doesn\u2019t work. Never mind.\nArthur looked at him as if he\u2019d gone mad and, seeing nothing to indicate\nthe contrary, realized that it would be perfectly reasonable to assume that this\nhad in fact happened.\n- What do you think will happen to them all? - he said after a while.\n- In an in\ufb01nite Universe anything can happen, - said Ford, - Even survival.\nStrange but true.\nA curious look came into his eyes as they passed over the landscape and\nthen settles again on the scene of misery below them.\n- I think they\u2019ll manage for a while, - he said.\nArthur looked up sharply.\n- Why do you say that? - he said.\nFord shrugged.\n- Just a hunch, - he said, and refused to be drawn to any further questions.\n- Look, - he said suddenly.\nArthur followed his pointing \ufb01nger. Down amongst the sprawling masses a\n\ufb01gure was moving - or perhaps lurching would be a more accurate description.\nHe appeared to be carrying something on his shoulder. As he lurched from\nprostrate form to prostrate form he seemed to wave whatever the something\nwas at them in a drunken fashion. After a while he gave up the struggle and\ncollapsed in a heap.\nArthur had no idea what this was meant to mean to him.\n- Movie camera, - said Ford. - Recording the historic movement.\n- Well, I don\u2019t know about you, - said Ford again after a moment, - but I\u2019m\no\ufb00.\nHe sat a while in silence.\nAfter a while this seemed to require comment.\n- Er, when you say you\u2019re o\ufb00, what do you mean exactly? - said Arthur.\n- Good question, - said Ford, - I\u2019m getting total silence.\nLooking over his shoulder Arthur saw that he was twiddling with knobs on a\nsmall box. Ford had already introduced this box as a Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic,\nbut Arthur had merely nodded absently and not pursued the matter. In his\nmind the Universe still divided into two parts - the Earth, and everything else.\nThe Earth having been demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass\nmeant that this view of things was a little lopsided, but Arthur tended to cling to\nthat lopsidedness as being his last remaining contact with his home. Sub-Etha\nSens-O-Matics belonged \ufb01rmly in the \u201deverything else\u201d category.\n- Not a sausage, - said Ford, shaking the thing.\nSausage, thought Arthur to himself as he gazed listlessly at the primitive\nworld about him, what I wouldn\u2019t give for a good Earth sausage.\n- Would you believe, - said Ford in exasperation, - that there are no trans-\nmissions of any kind within light years of this benighted tip? Are you listening\nto me?\n- What? - said Arthur.\n- We\u2019re in trouble, - said Ford.\n- Oh, - said Arthur. This sounded like month-old news to him.\n- Until we pick up anything on this machine, - said Ford, - our chances of\ngetting o\ufb00 this planet are zero. It may be some freak standing wave e\ufb00ect in", "4f42b243-d607-4540-8c60-a079d4d1ecd4": "125\nthe planet\u2019s magnetic \ufb01eld - in which case we just travel round and round till\nwe \ufb01nd a clear reception area. Coming?\nHe picked up his gear and strode o\ufb00.\nArthur looked down the hill. The man with the movie camera had struggled\nback up to his feet just in time to \ufb01lm one of his colleagues collapsing.\nArthur picked a blade of grass and strode o\ufb00 after Ford.", "055344da-790e-4c9e-88d4-7e627a87b314": "126 CHAPTER 26.", "95679e87-bc55-4dc8-9730-34ac3ee0b79c": "Chapter 27\n- I trust you had a pleasant meal? - said Zarniwoop to Zaphod and Trillian as\nthey rematerialized on the bridge of the starship Heart of Gold and lay panting\non the \ufb02oor.\nZaphod opened some eyes and glowered at him.\n- You, - he spat. He staggered to his feet and stomped o\ufb00 to \ufb01nd a chair to\nslump into. He found one and slumped into it.\n- I have programmed the computer with the Improbability Coordinates per-\ntinent to our journey, - said Zarniwoop, - we will arrive there very shortly.\nMeanwhile, why don\u2019t you relax and prepare yourself for the meeting?\nZaphod said nothing. He got up again and marched over to a small cabinet\nfrom which he pulled a bottle of old Janx spirit. He took a long pull at it.\n- And when this is all done, - said Zaphod savagely, - it\u2019s done, alright? I\u2019m\nfree to go and do what the hell I like and lie on beaches and stu\ufb00?\n- It depends what transpires from the meeting, - said Zarniwoop.\n- Zaphod, who is this man? - said Trillian shakily, wobbling to her feet, -\nWhat\u2019s he doing here? Why\u2019s he on our ship?\n- He\u2019s a very stupid man, - said Zaphod, - who wants to meet the man who\nrules the Universe.\n- Ah, - said Trillian taking the bottle from Zaphod and helping herself, - a\nsocial climber.\n127", "951c2f92-896e-48c5-8c4e-529b4bdc79d1": "128 CHAPTER 27.", "022faef0-c806-4d9e-9170-69172dab7f9a": "Chapter 28\nThe major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several one of the\nmany major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it;\nor rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.\nTo summarize: it is a well known fact, that those people who most want\nto rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the\nsummary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should\non no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the\nsummary: people are a problem.\nAnd so this is the situation we \ufb01nd: a succession of Galactic Presidents who\nso much enjoy the fun and palaver of being in power that they very rarely notice\nthat they\u2019re not.\nAnd somewhere in the shadows behind them - who?\nWho can possibly rule if no one who wants to do it can be allowed to?\n129", "1535c7ce-d2bb-474d-a612-ca610bd12aab": "130 CHAPTER 28.", "10e81b17-cc32-43aa-8943-29bd6c8602a7": "Chapter 29\nOn a small obscure world somewhere in the middle of nowhere in particular -\nnowhere, that is, that could ever be found, since it is protected by a vast \ufb01eld of\nunprobability to which only six men in this galaxy have a key - it was raining.\nIt was bucketing down, and had been for hours. It beat the top of the sea\ninto a mist, it pounded the trees, it churned and slopped a stretch of scrubby\nland near the sea into a mudbath.\nThe rain pelted and danced on the corrugated iron roof of the small shack\nthat stood in the middle of this patch of scrubby land. It obliterated the small\nrough pathway that led from the shack down to the seashore and smashed apart\nthe neat piles of interesting shells which had been placed there.\nThe noise of the rain on the roof of the shack was deafening within, but went\nlargely unnoticed by its occupant, whose attention was otherwise engaged.\nHe was a tall shambling man with rough straw-coloured hair that was damp\nfrom the leaking roof. His clothes were shabby, his back was hunched, and his\neyes, though open, seemed closed.\nIn his shack was an old beaten-up armchair, an old scratched table, an old\nmattress, some cushions and a stove that was small but warm.\nThere was also an old and slightly weatherbeaten cat, and this was currently\nthe focus of the man\u2019s attention. He bent his shambling form over it.\n- Pussy, pussy, pussy, - he said, - coochicoochicoochicoo... pussy want his\n\ufb01sh? Nice piece of \ufb01sh... pussy want it?\nThe cat seemed undecided on the matter. It pawed rather condescendingly\nat the piece of \ufb01sh the man was holding out, and then got distracted by a piece\nof dust on the \ufb02oor.\n- Pussy not eat his \ufb01sh, pussy get thin and waste away, I think, - said the\nman. Doubt crept into his voice.\n- I imagine this is what will happen, - he said, - but how can I tell?\nHe pro\ufb00ered the \ufb01sh again.\n- Pussy think, - he said, - eat \ufb01sh or not eat \ufb01sh. I think it is better if I\ndon\u2019t get involved. - He sighed.\n- I think \ufb01sh is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?\nHe left the \ufb01sh on the \ufb02oor for the cat, and retired to his seat.\n- Ah, I seem to see you eating it, - he said at last, as the cat exhausted the\nentertainment possibilities of the speck of dust and pounced on to the \ufb01sh.\n- I like it when I see you eat the \ufb01sh, - said the man, - because in my mind\nyou will waste away if you don\u2019t.\n131", "5472751c-c356-4979-a78c-a2fd61061064": "132 CHAPTER 29.\nHe picked up from the table a piece of paper and the stub of a pencil. He\nheld one in one hand and the other in the other, and experimented with the\ndi\ufb00erent ways of bringing them together. He tried holding the pencil under\nthe paper, then over the paper, then next to the paper. He tried wrapping the\npaper round the pencil, he tried rubbing the stubby end of the pencil against the\npaper and then he tried rubbing the sharp end of the pencil against the paper.\nIt made a mark, and he was delighted with the discovery, as he was every day.\nHe picked up another piece of paper from the table. This had a crossword on\nit. He studied it brie\ufb02y and \ufb01lled in a couple of clues before losing interest.\nHe tried sitting on one of his hands and was intrigued by the feel of the\nbones of his hip.\n- Fish come from far away, - he said, - or so I\u2019m told. Or so I imagine I\u2019m\ntold. When the men come, or when in my mind the men come in their six black\nships, do they come in your mind too? What do you see pussy?\nHe looked at the cat, which was more concerned with getting the \ufb01sh down\nas rapidly as possible than it was with these speculations.\n- And when I hear their questions, do you hear questions? What do their\nvoices mean to you? Perhaps you just think they\u2019re singing songs to you. - He\nre\ufb02ected on this, and saw the \ufb02aw in the supposition.\n- Perhaps they are singing songs to you, - he said, - and I just think they\u2019re\nasking me questions.\nHe paused again. Sometimes he would pause for days, just to see what it\nwas like.\n- Do you think they came today? - he said, - I do. There\u2019s mud on the \ufb02oor,\ncigarettes and whisky on the table, \ufb01sh on a plate for you and a memory of\nthem in my mind. Hardly conclusive evidence I know, but then all evidence is\ncircumstantial. And look what else they\u2019ve left me.\nHe reached over to the table and pulled some things o\ufb00 it.\n- Crosswords, dictionaries, and a calculator.\nHe played with the calculator for an hour, whilst the cat went to sleep and\nthe rain outside continued to pour. Eventually he put the calculator aside.\n- I think I must be right in thinking they ask me questions, - he said, - To\ncome all that way and leave all these things for the privilege of singing songs to\nyou would be very strange behaviour. Or so it seems to me. Who can tell, who\ncan tell.\nFrom the table he picked up a cigarette and lit it with a spill from the stove.\nHe inhaled deeply and sat back.\n- I think I saw another ship in the sky today, - he said at last. - A big white\none. I\u2019ve never seen a big white one, just the six black ones. And the six green\nones. And the others who say they come from so far away. Never a big white\none. Perhaps six small black ones can look like one big white one at certain\ntimes. Perhaps I would like a glass of whisky. Yes, that seems more likely.\nHe stood up and found a glass that was lying on the \ufb02oor by the mattress.\nHe poured in a measure from his whisky bottle. He sat again.\n- Perhaps some other people are coming to see me, - he said.\nA hundred yards away, pelted by the torrential rain, lay the Heart of Gold.\nIts hatchway opened, and three \ufb01gures emerged, huddling into themselves\nto keep the rain o\ufb00 their faces.\n- In there? - shouted Trillian above the noise of the rain.\n- Yes, - said Zarniwoop.", "96c41ad1-4e31-4a94-8705-985410b2068f": "133\n- That shack?\n- Yes.\n- Weird, - said Zaphod.\n- But it\u2019s in the middle of nowhere, - said Trillian, - we must have come to\nthe wrong place. You can\u2019t rule the Universe from a shack.\nThey hurried through the pouring rain, and arrived, wet through, at the\ndoor. They knocked. They shivered.\nThe door opened.\n- Hello? - said the man.\n- Ah, excuse me, - said Zarniwoop, - I have reason to believe...\n- Do you rule the Universe? - said Zaphod.\nThe man smiled at him.\n- I try not to, - he said, - Are you wet?\nZaphod looked at him in astonishment.\n- Wet? - he cried, - Doesn\u2019t it look as if we\u2019re wet?\n- That\u2019s how it looks to me, - said the man, - but how you feel about it\nmight be an altogether di\ufb00erent matter. If you feel warmth makes you dry,\nyou\u2019d better come in.\nThey went in.\nThey looked around the tiny shack, Zarniwoop with slight distaste, Trillian\nwith interest, Zaphod with delight.\n- Hey, er... - said Zaphod, - what\u2019s your name?\nThe man looked at them doubtfully.\n- I don\u2019t know. Why, do you think I should have one? It seems very odd to\ngive a bundle of vague sensory perceptions a name.\nHe invited Trillian to sit in the chair. He sat on the edge of the chair,\nZarniwoop leaned sti\ufb04y against the table and Zaphod lay on the mattress.\n- Wowee! - said Zaphod, - the seat of power! - He tickled the cat.\n- Listen, - said Zarniwoop, - I must ask you some questions.\n- Alright, - said the man kindly, - you can sing to my cat if you like.\n- Would he like that? - asked Zaphod.\n- You\u2019d better ask him, - said the man.\n- Does he talk? - said Zaphod.\n- I have no memory of him talking, - said the man, - but I am very unreliable.\nZarniwoop pulled some notes out of a pocket.\n- Now, - he said, - you do rule the Universe, do you?\n- How can I tell? - said the man.\nZarniwoop ticked o\ufb00 a note on the paper.\n- How long have you been doing this?\n- Ah, - said the man, - this is a question about the past is it?\nZarniwoop looked at him in puzzlement. This wasn\u2019t exactly what he had\nbeen expecting.\n- Yes, - he said.\n- How can I tell, - said the man, - that the past isn\u2019t a \ufb01ction designed to\naccount for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my\nstate of mind?\nZarniwoop stared at him. The steam began to rise from his sodden clothes.\n- So you answer all questions like this? - he said.\nThe man answered quickly.", "85916168-a37b-4add-adb2-bb3e727ff8f7": "134 CHAPTER 29.\n- I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things.\nMore I cannot say.\nZaphod laughed happily.\n- I\u2019ll drink to that, - he said and pulled out the bottle of Janx spirit. He\nleaped up and handed the bottle to the ruler of the Universe, who took it with\npleasure.\n- Good on you, great ruler, - he said, - tell it like it is.\n- No, listen to me, - said Zarniwoop, - people come to you do they? In\nships...\n- I think so, - said the man. He handed the bottle to Trillian.\n- And they ask you, - said Zarniwoop, - to take decisions for them? About\npeople\u2019s lives, about worlds, about economies, about wars, about everything\ngoing on out there in the Universe?\n- Out there? - said the man, - out where?\n- Out there! - said Zarniwoop pointing at the door.\n- How can you tell there\u2019s anything out there, - said the man politely, - the\ndoor\u2019s closed.\nThe rain continued to pound the roof. Inside the shack it was warm.\n- But you know there\u2019s a whole Universe out there! - cried Zarniwoop. -\nYou can\u2019t dodge your responsibilities by saying they don\u2019t exist!\nThe ruler of the Universe thought for a long while whilst Zarniwoop quivered\nwith anger.\n- You\u2019re very sure of your facts, - he said at last, - I couldn\u2019t trust the\nthinking of a man who takes the Universe - if there is one - for granted.\nZarniwoop still quivered, but was silent.\n- I only decide about my Universe, - continued the man quietly. - My Uni-\nverse is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.\n- But don\u2019t you believe in anything?\nThe man shrugged and picked up his cat.\n- I don\u2019t understand what you mean, - he said.\n- You don\u2019t understand that what you decide in this shack of yours a\ufb00ects\nthe lives and fates of millions of people? This is all monstrously wrong!\n- I don\u2019t know. I\u2019ve never met all these people you speak of. And neither, I\nsuspect, have you. They only exist in words we hear. It is folly to say you know\nwhat is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have\ntheir own Universes of their own eyes and ears.\nTrillian said:\n- I think I\u2019m just popping outside for a moment.\nShe left and walked into the rain.\n- Do you believe other people exist? - insisted Zarniwoop.\n- I have no opinion. How can I say?\n- I\u2019d better see what\u2019s up with Trillian, - said Zaphod and slipped out.\nOutside, he said to her:\n- I think the Universe is in pretty good hands, yeah?\n- Very good, - said Trillian. They walked o\ufb00 into the rain.\nInside, Zarniwoop continued.\n- But don\u2019t you understand that people live or die on your word?\nThe ruler of the Universe waited for as long as he could. When he heard the\nfaint sound of the ship\u2019s engines starting he spoke to cover it.", "5803ba6f-7299-4699-a68a-359a40ab3d8f": "135\n- It\u2019s nothing to do with me, - he said, - I am not involved with people. The\nLord knows I am not a cruel man.\n- Ah! - barked Zarniwoop, - you say \u201dThe Lord\u201d. You believe in something!\n- My cat, - said the man benignly, picking it up and stroking it, - I call him\nThe Lord. I am kind to him.\n- Alright, - said Zarniwoop, pressing home his point, - How do you know he\nexists? How do you know he knows you to be kind, or enjoys what he thinks of\nas your kindness?\n- I don\u2019t, - said the man with a smile, - I have no idea. It merely pleases\nme to behave in a certain way to what appears to be a cat. Do you behave any\ndi\ufb00erently? Please, I think I am tired.\nZarniwoop heaved a thoroughly dissatis\ufb01ed sigh and looked about.\n- Where are the other two? - he said suddenly.\n- What other two? - said the ruler of the Universe, settling back into his\nchair and re\ufb01lling his whisky glass.\n- Beeblebrox and the girl! The two who were here!\n- I remember no one. The past is a \ufb01ction to account for...\n- Stu\ufb00 it, - snapped Zarniwoop and ran out into the rain. There was no\nship. The rain continued to churn the mud. There was no sign to show where\nthe ship had been. He hollered into the rain. He turned and ran back to the\nshack and found it locked.\nThe ruler of the Universe dozed lightly in his chair. After a while he played\nwith the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how\nto make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside,\nbut he didn\u2019t know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table\nfor a week to see how it would react.", "7a3c4649-d42b-474d-a233-bb1f0d4d4c09": "136 CHAPTER 29.", "81565ffc-5f4b-4581-bc40-2a4e01a25a8a": "Chapter 30\nThe stars came out that night, dazzling in their brilliance and clarity. Ford and\nArthur had walked more miles than they had any means of judging and \ufb01nally\nstopped to rest. The night was cool and balmy, the air pure, the Sub-Etha\nSens.O.Matic totally silent.\nA wonderful stillness hung over the world, a magical calm which combined\nwith the soft fragrances of the woods, the quiet chatter of insects and the bril-\nliant light of the stars to soothe their jangled spirits. Even Ford Prefect, who\nhad seen more worlds than he could count on a long afternoon, was moved\nto wonder if this was the most beautiful he had ever seen. All that day they\nhad passed through rolling green hills and valleys, richly covered with grasses,\nwild scented \ufb02owers and tall thickly leaved trees, the sun had warmed them,\nlight breezes had kept them cool, and Ford Prefect had checked his Sub-Etha\nSens-O-Matic at less and less frequent intervals, and had exhibited less and less\nannoyance at its continued silence. He was beginning to think he liked it here.\nCool though the night air was they slept soundly and comfortably in the\nopen and awoke a few hours later with the light dewfall feeling refreshed but\nhungry. Ford had stu\ufb00ed some small rolls into his satchel at Milliways and they\nbreakfasted o\ufb00 those before moving on.\nSo far they had wandered purely at random, but now they struck out \ufb01rmly\neastwards, feeling that if they were going to explore this world they should have\nsome clear idea of where they had come from and where they were going.\nShortly before noon they had their \ufb01rst indication that the world they had\nlanded on was not an uninhabited one: a half glimpsed face amongst the trees,\nwatching them. It vanished at the moment they both saw it, but the image they\nwere both left with was of a humanoid creature, curious to see them but not\nalarmed. Half an hour later they glimpsed another such face, and ten minutes\nafter that another.\nA minute later they stumbled into a wide clearing and stopped short.\nBefore them in the middle of the clearing stood a group of about two dozen\nmen and women. They stood still and quiet facing Ford and Arthur. Around\nsome of the women huddled some small children and behind the group was a\nramshackle array of small dwellings made of mud and branches.\nFord and Arthur held their breath. The tallest of the men stood a little\nover \ufb01ve feet high, they all stooped forward slightly, had longish arms and\nlowish foreheads, and clear bright eyes with which they stared intently at the\nstrangers.\nSeeing that they carried no weapons and made no move towards them, Ford\n137", "94708f4a-dd60-4bdf-b4cf-930641be929d": "138 CHAPTER 30.\nand Arthur relaxed slightly.\nFor a while the two groups simply stared at each other, neither side making\nany move. The natives seemed puzzled by the intruders, and whilst they showed\nno sign of aggression they were quite clearly not issuing any invitations.\nFor a full two minutes nothing continued to happen.\nAfter two minutes Ford decided it was time something happened.\n- Hello, - he said.\nThe women drew their children slightly closer to them.\nThe men made hardly any discernible move and yet their whole disposition\nmade it clear that the greeting was not welcome - it was not resented in any\ngreat degree, it was just not welcome.\nOne of the men, who had been standing slightly forward of the rest of the\ngroup and who might therefore have been their leader, stepped forward. His\nface was quiet and calm, almost serene.\n- Ugghhhuuggghhhrrrr uh uh ruh uurgh, - he said quietly.\nThis caught Arthur by surprise. He had grown so used to receiving an\ninstantaneous and unconscious translation of everything he heard via the Babel\nFish lodged in his ear that he had ceased to be aware of it, and he was only\nreminded of its presence now by the fact that it didn\u2019t seem to be working.\nVague shadows of meaning had \ufb02ickered at the back of his mind, but there was\nnothing he could get any \ufb01rm grasp on. He guessed, correctly as it happens, that\nthese people had as yet evolved no more than the barest rudiments of language,\nand that the Babel Fish was therefore powerless to help. He glanced at Ford,\nwho was in\ufb01nitely more experienced in these matters.\n- I think, - said Ford out of the corner of his mouth, - he\u2019s asking us if we\u2019d\nmind walking on round the edge of the village.\nA moment later, a gesture from the man-creature seemed to con\ufb01rm this.\n- Ruurgggghhhh urrgggh; urgh urgh (uh ruh) rruurruuh ug, - continued the\nman-creature.\n- The general gist, - said Ford, - as far as I can make out, is that we are\nwelcome to continue our journey in any way we like, but if we would walk round\nhis village rather than through it it would make them all very happy.\n- So what do we do?\n- I think we make them happy, - said Ford.\nSlowly and watchfully they walked round the perimeter of the clearing. This\nseemed to go down very well with the natives who bowed to them very slightly\nand then went about their business.\nFord and Arthur continued their journey through the wood. A few hundred\nyards past the clearing they suddenly came upon a small pile of fruit lying in\ntheir path - berries that looked remarkably like raspberries and blackberries,\nand pulpy, green skinned fruit that looked remarkably like pears.\nSo far they had steered clear of the fruit and berries they had seen, though\nthe trees and bushed were laden with them.\n- Look at it this way, - Ford Prefect had said, - fruit and berries on strange\nplanets either make you live or make you die. Therefore the point at which to\nstart toying with them is when you\u2019re going to die if you don\u2019t. That way you\nstay ahead. The secret of healthy hitch-hiking is to eat junk food.\nThey looked at the pile that lay in their path with suspicion. It looked so\ngood it made them almost dizzy with hunger.\n- Look at it this way, - said Ford, - er...", "f24f0200-0bc6-441e-82ee-6587bac731bd": "139\n- Yes? - said Arthur.\n- I\u2019m trying to think of a way of looking at it which means we get to eat it,\n- said Ford.\nThe leaf-dappled sun gleamed on the pulp skins of the things which looked\nlike pears. The things which looked like raspberries and strawberries were fatter\nand riper than any Arthur had ever seen, even in ice cream commercials.\n- Why don\u2019t we eat them and think about it afterwards? - he said.\n- Maybe that\u2019s what they want us to do.\n- Alright, look at it this way...\n- Sounds good so far.\n- It\u2019s there for us to eat. Either it\u2019s good or it\u2019s bad, either they want to\nfeed us or to poison us. If it\u2019s poisonous and we don\u2019t eat it they\u2019ll just attack\nus some other way. If we don\u2019t eat, we lose out either way.\n- I like the way you\u2019re thinking, - said Ford, - Now eat one.\nHesitantly, Arthur picked up one of those things that looked like pears.\n- I always thought that about the Garden of Eden story, - said Ford.\n- Eh?\n- Garden of Eden. Tree. Apple. That bit, remember?\n- Yes of course I do.\n- Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says\ndo what you like guys, oh, but don\u2019t eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat\nit and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting \u201dGotcha\u201d. It wouldn\u2019t have\nmade any di\ufb00erence if they hadn\u2019t eaten it.\n- Why not?\n- Because if you\u2019re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality\nwhich likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know\nperfectly well they won\u2019t give up. They\u2019ll get you in the end.\n- What are you talking about?\n- Never mind, eat the fruit.\n- You know, this place almost looks like the Garden of Eden.\n- Eat the fruit.\n- Sounds quite like it too.\nArthur took a bite from the thing which looked like a pear.\n- It\u2019s a pear, - he said.\nA few moments later, when they had eaten the lot, Ford Prefect turned\nround and called out.\n- Thank you. Thank you very much, - he called, - you\u2019re very kind.\nThey went on their way.\nFor the next \ufb01fty miles of their journey eastward they kept on \ufb01nding the\noccasional gift of fruit lying in their path, and though they once or twice had\na quick glimpse of a native mancreature amongst the trees, they never again\nmade direct contact. They decided they rather liked a race of people who made\nit clear that they were grateful simply to be left alone.\nThe fruit and berries stopped after \ufb01fty miles, because that was where the\nsea started.\nHaving no pressing calls on their time they built a raft and crossed the sea.\nIt was reasonably calm, only about sixty miles wide and they had a reasonably\npleasant crossing, landing in a country that was at least as beautiful as the one\nthey had left.", "16cea600-2889-4042-9b8e-3bba220371c4": "140 CHAPTER 30.\nLife was, in short, ridiculously easy and for a while at least they were able\nto cope with the problems of aimlessness and isolation by deciding to ignore\nthem. When the craving for company became too great they would know where\nto \ufb01nd it, but for the moment they were happy to feel that the Golgafrinchans\nwere hundreds of miles behind them.\nNevertheless, Ford Prefect began to use his Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic more\noften again. Only once did he pick up a signal, but that was so faint and from\nsuch enormous distance that it depressed him more than the silence that had\notherwise continued unbroken.\nOn a whim they turned northwards. After weeks of travelling they came to\nanother sea, built another raft and crossed it. This time it was harder going,\nthe climate was getting colder. Arthur suspected a streak of masochism in Ford\nPrefect - the increasing di\ufb03culty of the journey seemed to give him a sense of\npurpose that was otherwise lacking. He strode onwards relentlessly.\nTheir journey northwards brought them into steep mountainous terrain of\nbreathtaking sweep and beauty. The vast, jagged, snow covered peaks ravished\ntheir senses. The cold began to bite into their bones.\nThey wrapped themselves in animal skins and furs which Ford Prefect ac-\nquired by a technique he once learned from a couple of ex-Pralite monks running\na Mind-Sur\ufb01ng resort in the Hills of Hunian.\nThe galaxy is littered with ex-Pralite monks, all on the make, because the\nmental control techniques the Order have evolved as a form of devotional disci-\npline are, frankly, sensational - and extraordinary numbers of monks leave the\nOrder just after they have \ufb01nished their devotional training and just before they\ntake their \ufb01nal vows to stay locked in small metal boxes for the rest of their\nlives.\nFord\u2019s technique seemed to consist mainly of standing still for a while and\nsmiling.\nAfter a while an animal - a deer perhaps - would appear from out of the trees\nand watch him cautiously. Ford would continue to smile at it, his eyes would\nsoften and shine, and he would seem to radiate a deep and universal love, a\nlove which reached out to embrace all of creation. A wonderful quietness would\ndescend on the surrounding countryside, peaceful and serene, emanating from\nthis trans\ufb01gured man. Slowly the deer would approach, step by step, until it\nwas almost nuzzling him, whereupon Ford Prefect would reach out to it and\nbreak its neck.\n- Pheromone control, - he said it was, - you just have to know how to generate\nthe right smell.", "a8157823-49ef-40a7-a4a6-22361213edc1": "Chapter 31\nA few days after landing in this mountainous land they hit a coastline which\nswept diagonally before them from the south-west to the north-east, a coastline\nof monumental grandeur: deep majestic ravines, soaring pinnacles of ice - fjords.\nFor two further days they scrambled and climbed over the rocks and glaciers,\nawe-struck with beauty.\n- Arthur! - yelled Ford suddenly.\nIt was the afternoon of the second day. Arthur was sitting on a high rock\nwatching the thundering sea smashing itself against the craggy promontories.\n- Arthur! - yelled Ford again.\nArthur looked to where Ford\u2019s voice had come from, carried faintly in the\nwind.\nFord had gone to examine a glacier, and Arthur found him there crouching\nby the solid wall of blue ice. He was tense with excitement - his eyes darted up\nto meet Arthur\u2019s.\n- Look, - he said, - look!\nArthur looked. He saw the solid wall of blue ice.\n- Yes, - he said, - it\u2019s a glacier. I\u2019ve already seen it.\n- No, - said Ford, - you\u2019ve looked at it, you haven\u2019t seen it. Look!\nFord was pointing deep into the heart of the ice.\nArthur peered - he saw nothing but vague shadows.\n- Move back from it, - insisted Ford, - look again.\nArthur moved back and looked again.\n- No, - he said, and shrugged. - What am I supposed to be looking for?\nAnd suddenly he saw it.\n- You see it?\nHe saw it.\nHis mouth started to speak, but his brain decided it hadn\u2019t got anything to\nsay yet and shut it again. His brain then started to contend with the problem of\nwhat his eyes told it they were looking at, but in doing so relinquished control\nof the mouth which promptly fell open again. Once more gathering up the jaw,\nhis brain lost control of his left hand which then wandered around in an aimless\nfashion. For a second or so the brain tried to catch the left hand without letting\ngo of the mouth and simultaneously tried to think about what was buried in\nthe ice, which is probably why the legs went and Arthur dropped restfully to\nthe ground.\nThe thing that had been causing all this neural upset was a network of\nshadows in the ice, about eighteen inches beneath the surface. Looked at it\n141", "5d906465-08b0-499f-9637-f90fa91a0d6a": "142 CHAPTER 31.\nfrom the right angle they resolved into the solid shapes of letters from an alien\nalphabet, each about three feet high; and for those, like Arthur, who couldn\u2019t\nread Magrathean there was above the letters the outline of a face hanging in\nthe ice.\nIt was an old face, thin and distinguished, careworn but not unkind.\nIt was the face of the man who had won an award for designing the coastline\nthey now knew themselves to be standing on.", "c4a4b162-c4de-43cd-98d4-438ad23ebb6f": "Chapter 32\nA thin whine \ufb01lled the air. It whirled and howled through the trees upsetting\nthe squirrels. A few birds \ufb02ew o\ufb00 in disgust. The noise danced and skittered\nround the clearing. It whooped, it rasped, it generally o\ufb00ended.\nThe Captain, however, regarded the lone bagpiper with an indulgent eye.\nLittle could disturb his equanimity; indeed, once he had got over the loss of\nhis gorgeous bath during that unpleasantness in the swamp all those months\nago he had begun to \ufb01nd his new life remarkably congenial. A hollow had been\nscooped out of a large rock which stood in the middle of the clearing, and in this\nhe would bask daily whilst attendants sloshed water over him. Not particularly\nwarm water, it must be said, as they hadn\u2019t yet worked out a way of heating\nit. Never mind, that would come, and in the meantime search parties were\nscouring the countryside far and wide for a hot spring, preferably one in a nice\nleafy glade, and if it was near a soap mine - perfection. To those who said that\nthey had a feeling soap wasn\u2019t found in mines, the Captain had ventured to\nsuggest that perhaps that was because no one had looked hard enough, and this\npossibility had been reluctantly acknowledged.\nNo, life was very pleasant, and the greatest thing about it was that when\nthe hot spring was found, complete with leafy glade en suite, and when in the\nfullness of time the cry came reverberating across the hills that the soap mine\nhad been located and was producing \ufb01ve hundred cakes a day it would be more\npleasant still. It was very important to have things to look forward to.\nWail, wail, screech, wail, howl, honk, squeak went the bagpipes, increasing\nthe Captain\u2019s already considerable pleasure at the thought that any moment\nnow they might stop. That was something he looked forward to as well.\nWhat else was pleasant, he asked himself? Well, so many things: the red\nand gold of the trees, now that autumn was approaching; the peaceful chatter of\nscissors a few feet from his bath where a couple of hairdressers were exercising\ntheir skills on a dozing art director and his assistant; the sunlight gleaming o\ufb00\nthe six shiny telephones lined up along the edge of his rock-hewn bath. The\nonly thing nicer than a phone that didn\u2019t ring all the time (or indeed at all) was\nsix phones that didn\u2019t ring all the time (or indeed at all).\nNicest of all was the happy murmur of all the hundreds of people slowly as-\nsembling in the clearing around him to watch the afternoon committee meeting.\nThe Captain punched his rubber duck playfully on the beak. The afternoon\ncommittee meetings were his favourite.\nOther eyes watched the assembling crowds. High in a tree on the edge of the\nclearing squatted Ford Prefect, lately returned from foreign climes. After his six\n143", "349296cc-0752-47bc-9db7-5b217d4f360e": "144 CHAPTER 32.\nmonth journey he was lean and healthy, his eyes gleamed, he wore a reindeer-\nskin coat; his beard was as thick and his face as bronzed as a country-rock\nsinger\u2019s.\nHe and Arthur Dent had been watching the Golgafrinchans for almost a\nweek now, and Ford had decided to stir things up a bit.\nThe clearing was now full. Hundreds of men and women lounged around,\nchatting, eating fruit, playing cards and generally having a fairly relaxed time\nof it. Their track suits were now all dirty and even torn, but they all had\nimmaculately styled hair. Ford was puzzled to see that many of them had\nstu\ufb00ed their track suits full of leaves and wondered if this was meant to be\nsome form of insulation against the coming winter. Ford\u2019s eyes narrowed. They\ncouldn\u2019t be interested in botany of a sudden could they?\nIn the middle of these speculations the Captain\u2019s voice rose above the hub-\nbub.\n- Alright, - he said, - I\u2019d like to call this meeting to some sort of order if\nthat\u2019s at all possible. Is that alright with everybody? - He smiled genially. - In\na minute. When you\u2019re all ready.\nThe talking gradually died away and the clearing fell silent, except for the\nbagpiper who seemed to be in some wild and uninhabitable musical world of\nhis own. A few of those in his immediate vicinity threw some leaves to him. If\nthere was any reason for this then it escaped Ford Prefect for the moment.\nA small group of people had clustered round the Captain and one of them\nwas clearly beginning to speak. He did this by standing up, clearing his throat\nand then gazing o\ufb00 into the distance as if to signify to the crowd that he would\nbe with them in a minute.\nThe crowd of course were riveted and all turned their eyes on him.\nA moment of silence followed, which Ford judged to be the right dramatic\nmoment to make his entry. The man turned to speak.\nFord dropped down out of the tree.\n- Hi there, - he said.\nThe crowd swivelled round.\n- Ah my dear fellow, - called out the Captain, - Got any matches on you?\nOr a lighter? Anything like that?\n- No, - said Ford, sounding a little de\ufb02ated. It wasn\u2019t what he\u2019d prepared.\nHe decided he\u2019d better be a little stronger on the subject.\n- No I haven\u2019t, - he continued, - No matches. Instead I bring you news...\n- Pity, - said the Captain, - We\u2019ve all run out you see. Haven\u2019t had a hot\nbath in weeks.\nFord refused to be headed o\ufb00.\n- I bring you news, - he said, - of a discovery that might interest you.\n- Is it on the agenda? - snapped the man whom Ford had interrupted.\nFord smiled a broad country-rock singer smile.\n- Now, come on, - he said.\n- Well I\u2019m sorry, - said the man hu\ufb03ly, - but speaking as a management\nconsultant of many years\u2019 standing, I must insist on the importance of observing\nthe committee structure.\nFord looked round the crowd.\n- He\u2019s mad you know, - he said, - this is a prehistoric planet.\n- Address the chair! - snapped the management consultant. - There isn\u2019t\nchair,\u201d explained Ford, \u201dthere\u2019s only a rock.", "222a2046-5912-4bc5-8855-50dea47bab39": "145\nThe management consultant decided that testiness was what the situation\nnow called for.\n- Well, call it a chair, - he said testily.\n- Why not call it a rock? - asked Ford.\n- You obviously have no conception,\u201d said the management consultant, not\nabandoning testiness in favour of good old fashioned hauteur, \u201dof modern busi-\nness methods.\n- And you have no conception of where you are, - said Ford.\nA girl with a strident voice leapt to her feet and used it.\n- Shut up, you two, - she said, - I want to table a motion.\n- You mean boulder a motion, - tittered a hairdresser.\n- Order, order! - yapped the management consultant.\n- Alright, - said Ford, - let\u2019s see how you are doing. - He plonked himself\ndown on the ground to see how long he could keep his temper.\nThe Captain made a sort of conciliatory harrumphing noise.\n- I would like to call to order, - he said pleasantly, - the \ufb01ve hundred and\nseventy-third meeting of the colonization committee of Fintlewoodlewix...\nTen seconds, thought Ford as he leapt to his feet again.\n- This is futile, - he exclaimed, - \ufb01ve hundred and seventy-three committee\nmeetings and you haven\u2019t even discovered \ufb01re yet!\n- If you would care, - said the girl with the strident voice, - to examine the\nagenda sheet...\n- Agenda rock, - trilled the hairdresser happily.\n- Thank you, I\u2019ve made that point, - muttered Ford.\n- ... you... will... see... - continued the girl \ufb01rmly, - that we are having a\nreport from the hairdressers\u2019 Fire Development Sub-Committee today.\n- Oh... ah - - said the hairdresser with a sheepish look which is recognized\nthe whole Galaxy over as meaning - Er, will next Tuesday do?\n- Alright, - said Ford, rounding on him, - what have you done? What are\nyou going to do? What are your thoughts on \ufb01re development?\n- Well I don\u2019t know, - said the hairdresser, - All they gave me was a couple\nof sticks...\n- So what have you done with them?\nNervously, the hairdresser \ufb01shed in his track suit top and handed over the\nfruits of his labour to Ford.\nFord held them up for all to see.\n- Curling tongs, - he said.\nThe crowd applauded.\n- Never mind, - said Ford, - Rome wasn\u2019t burnt in a day.\nThe crowd hadn\u2019t the faintest idea what he was talking about, but they\nloved it nevertheless. They applauded.\n- Well, you\u2019re obviously being totally naive of course, - said the girl, - When\nyou\u2019ve been in marketing as long as I have you\u2019ll know that before any new\nproduct can be developed it has to be properly researched. We\u2019ve got to \ufb01nd\nout what people want from \ufb01re, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has\nfor them.\nThe crowd were tense. They were expecting something wonderful from Ford.\n- Stick it up your nose, - he said.\n- Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know, - insisted the girl, -\nDo people want \ufb01re that can be applied nasally?", "dab32793-645b-424c-81bb-00a8dd0b5e5a": "146 CHAPTER 32.\n- Do you? - Ford asked the crowd.\n- Yes! - shouted some.\n- No! - shouted others happily.\nThey didn\u2019t know, they just thought it was great.\n- And the wheel, - said the Captain, - What about this wheel thingy? It\nsounds a terribly interesting project.\n- Ah, - said the marketing girl, - Well, we\u2019re having a little di\ufb03culty there.\n- Di\ufb03culty? - exclaimed Ford, - Di\ufb03culty? What do you mean, di\ufb03culty?\nIt\u2019s the single simplest machine in the entire Universe!\nThe marketing girl soured him with a look.\n- Alright, Mr Wiseguy, - she said, - you\u2019re so clever, you tell us what colour\nit should have.\nThe crowd went wild. One up to the home team, they thought. Ford\nshrugged his shoulders and sat down again.\n- Almighty Zarquon, - he said, - have none of you done anything?\nAs if in answer to his question there was a sudden clamour of noise from\nthe entrance to the clearing. The crowd couldn\u2019t believe the amount of en-\ntertainment they were getting this afternoon: in marched a squad of about a\ndozen men dressed in the remnants of their Golgafrincham 3rd Regiment dress\nuniforms. About half of them still carried Kill-O-Zap guns, the rest now car-\nried spears which they struck together as they marched. They looked bronzed,\nhealthy, and utterly exhausted and bedraggled. They clattered to a halt and\nbanged to attention. One of them fell over and never moved again.\n- Captain, sir! - cried Number Two - for he was their leader - - Permission\nto report sir!\n- Yes, alright Number Two, welcome back and all that. Find any hot springs?\n- said the Captain despondently.\n- No sir!\n- Thought you wouldn\u2019t.\nNumber Two strode through the crowd and presented arms before the bath.\n- We have discovered another continent!\n- When was this?\n- It lies across the sea... - said Number Two, narrowing his eyes signi\ufb01cantly,\n- to the east!\n- Ah.\nNumber Two turned to face the crowd. He raised his gun above his head.\nThis is going to be great, thought the crowd.\n- We have declared war on it!\nWild abandoned cheering broke out in all corners of the clearing - this was\nbeyond all expectation.\n- Wait a minute, - shouted Ford Prefect, - wait a minute!\nHe leapt to his feet and demanded silence. After a while he got it, or at least\nthe best silence he could hope for under the circumstances: the circumstances\nwere that the bagpiper was spontaneously composing a national anthem.\n- Do we have to have the piper? - demanded Ford.\n- Oh yes, - said the Captain, - we\u2019ve given him a grant.\nFord considered opening this idea up for debate but quickly decided that\nthat way madness lay. Instead he slung a well judged rock at the piper and\nturned to face Number Two.\n- War? - he said.", "25d437be-a76b-4d44-9848-ff9438f2c262": "147\n- Yes! - Number Two gazed contemptuously at Ford Prefect.\n- On the next continent?\n- Yes! Total warfare! The war to end all wars!\n- But there\u2019s no one even living there yet!\nAh, interesting, thought the crowd, nice point.\nNumber Two\u2019s gaze hovered undisturbed. In this respect his eyes were like\na couple of mosquitos that hover purposefully three inches from your nose and\nrefuse to be de\ufb02ected by arm thrashes, \ufb02y swats or rolled newspapers.\n- I know that, - he said, - but there will be one day! So we have left an\nopen-ended ultimatum.\n- What?\n- And blown up a few military installations.\nThe Captain leaned forward out of his bath.\n- Military installations Number Two? - he said.\nFor a moment the eyes wavered.\n- Yes sir, well potential military installations. Alright... trees.\nThe moment of uncertainty passed - his eyes \ufb02ickered like whips over his\naudience.\n- And, - he roared, - we interrogated a gazelle!\nHe \ufb02ipped his Kill-O-Zap gun smartly under his arm and marched o\ufb00 through\nthe pandemonium that had now erupted throughout the ecstatic crowd. A few\nsteps was all he managed before he was caught up and carried shoulder high for\na lap of honour round the clearing.\nFord sat and idly tapped a couple of stones together.\n- So what else have you done? - he inquired after the celebrations had died\ndown.\n- We have started a culture, - said the marketing girl.\n- Oh yes? - said Ford.\n- Yes. One of our \ufb01lm producers is already making a fascinating documentary\nabout the indigenous cavemen of the area.\n- They\u2019re not cavemen.\n- They look like cavemen.\n- Do they live in caves?\n- Well...\n- They live in huts.\n- Perhaps they\u2019re having their caves redecorated, - called out a wag from the\ncrowd.\nFord rounded on him angrily.\n- Very funny, - he said, - but have you noticed that they\u2019re dying out?\nOn their journey back, Ford and Arthur had come across two derelict villages\nand the bodies of many natives in the woods, where they had crept away to die.\nThose that still lived were stricken and listless, as if they were su\ufb00ering some\ndisease of the spirit rather than the body. They moved sluggishly and with an\nin\ufb01nite sadness. Their future had been taken away from them.\n- Dying out! - repeated Ford. - Do you know what that means?\n- Er... we shouldn\u2019t sell them any life insurance? - called out the wag again.\nFord ignored him, and appealed to the whole crowd.\n- Can you try and understand, - he said, - that it\u2019s just since we\u2019ve arrived\nthat they\u2019ve started dying out!", "985c398e-5af1-4bda-a75b-30489b4f3a31": "148 CHAPTER 32.\n- In fact that comes over terribly well in this \ufb01lm, - said the marketing girl,\n- and just gives it that poignant twist which is the hallmark of the really great\ndocumentary. The producer\u2019s very committed.\n- He should be, - muttered Ford.\n- I gather, - said the girl, turning to address the Captain who was beginning\nto nod o\ufb00, - that he wants to make one about you next, Captain.\n- Oh really? - he said, coming to with a start, - that\u2019s awfully nice.\n- He\u2019s got a very strong angle on it, you know, the burden of responsibility,\nthe loneliness of command... -\nThe Captain hummed and hahed about this for a moment.\n- Well, I wouldn\u2019t overstress that angle, you know, - he said \ufb01nally, - one\u2019s\nnever alone with a rubber duck.\nHe held the duck aloft and it got an appreciative round from the crowd.\nAll the while, the Management Consultant had been sitting in stony silence,\nhis \ufb01nger tips pressed to his temples to indicate that he was waiting and would\nwait all day if it was necessary.\nAt this point he decided he would not wait all day after all, he would merely\npretend that the last half hour hadn\u2019t happened.\nHe rose to his feet.\n- If, - he said tersely, - we could for a moment move on to the subject of\n\ufb01scal policy...\n- Fiscal policy! - whooped Ford Prefect, - Fiscal policy!\nThe Management Consultant gave him a look that only a lung\ufb01sh could have\ncopied.\n- Fiscal policy... - he repeated, - that is what I said.\n- How can you have money, - demanded Ford, - if none of you actually\nproduces anything? It doesn\u2019t grow on trees you know.\n- If you would allow me to continue...\nFord nodded dejectedly.\n- Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal\ntender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.\nFord stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring appreciatively at\nthis and greedily \ufb01ngering the wads of leaves with which their track suits were\nstu\ufb00ed.\n- But we have also, - continued the Management Consultant, - run into a\nsmall in\ufb02ation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which\nmeans that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous\nforests buying one ship\u2019s peanut.\nMurmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The Management Consultant\nwaved them down.\n- So in order to obviate this problem, - he continued, - and e\ufb00ectively reval-\nuate the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and...\ner, burn down all the forests. I think you\u2019ll all agree that\u2019s a sensible move\nunder the circumstances.\nThe crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or two until\nsomeone pointed out how much this would increase the value of the leaves in\ntheir pockets whereupon they let out whoops of delight and gave the Manage-\nment Consultant a standing ovation. The accountants amongst them looked\nforward to a pro\ufb01table Autumn.\n- You\u2019re all mad, - explained Ford Prefect.", "92883ddf-9f8c-40c3-ac4d-694e9f095276": "149\n- You\u2019re absolutely barmy, - he suggested.\n- You\u2019re a bunch of raving nutters, - he opined.\nThe tide of opinion started to turn against him. What had started out as\nexcellent entertainment had now, in the crowd\u2019s view, deteriorated into mere\nabuse, and since this abuse was in the main directed at them they wearied of it.\nSensing this shift in the wind, the marketing girl turned on him.\n- Is it perhaps in order, - she demanded, - to inquire what you\u2019ve been doing\nall these months then? You and that other interloper have been missing since\nthe day we arrived.\n- We\u2019ve been on a journey, - said Ford, - We went to try and \ufb01nd out\nsomething about this planet.\n- Oh, - said the girl archly, - doesn\u2019t sound very productive to me.\n- No? Well have I got news for you, my love. We have discovered this\nplanet\u2019s future.\nFord waited for this statement to have its e\ufb00ect. It didn\u2019t have any. They\ndidn\u2019t know what he was talking about.\nHe continued.\n- It doesn\u2019t matter a pair of fetid dingo\u2019s kidneys what you all choose to\ndo from now on. Burn down the forests, anything, it won\u2019t make a scrap of\ndi\ufb00erence. Your future history has already happened. Two million years you\u2019ve\ngot and that\u2019s it. At the end of that time your race will be dead, gone and good\nriddance to you. Remember that, two million years!\nThe crowd muttered to itself in annoyance. People as rich as they had\nsuddenly become shouldn\u2019t be obliged to listen to this sort of gibberish. Perhaps\nthey could tip the fellow a leaf or two and he would go away.\nThey didn\u2019t need to bother. Ford was already stalking out of the clearing,\npausing only to shake his head at Number Two who was already \ufb01ring his Kill-\nO-Zap gun into some neighbouring trees.\nHe turned back once.\n- Two million years! - he said and laughed.\n- Well, - said the Captain with a soothing smile, - still time for a few more\nbaths. Could someone pass me the sponge? I just dropped it over the side.", "e0517e90-17bb-48a2-9e6d-90492956cdfb": "150 CHAPTER 32.", "131a0cf8-ab66-47e4-9e8e-9419849ddbca": "Chapter 33\nA mile or so away through the wood, Arthur Dent was too busily engrossed\nwith what he was doing to hear Ford Prefect approach.\nWhat he was doing was rather curious, and this is what it was: on a wide\n\ufb02at piece of rock he had scratched out the shape of a large square, subdivided\ninto one hundred and sixty-nine smaller squares, thirteen to a side.\nFurthermore he had collected together a pile of smallish \ufb02attish stones and\nscratched the shape of a letter on to each. Sitting morosely round the rock were\na couple of the surviving local native men whom Arthur Dent was trying to\nintroduce the curious concept embodied in these stones.\nSo far they had not done well. They had attempted to eat some of them,\nbury others and throw the rest of them away. Arthur had \ufb01nally encouraged one\nof them to lay a couple of stones on the board he had scratched out, which was\nnot even as far as he\u2019d managed to get the day before. Along with the rapid de-\nterioration in the morale of these creatures, there seemed to be a corresponding\ndeterioration in their actual intelligence.\nIn an attempt to egg them along, Arthur set out a number of letters on\nthe board himself, and then tried to encourage the natives to add some more\nthemselves.\nIt was not going well.\nFord watched quietly from beside a nearby tree.\n- No, - said Arthur to one of the natives who had just shu\ufb04ed some of the\nletters round in a \ufb01t of abysmal dejection, - Q scores ten you see, and it\u2019s on a\ntriple word score, so... look, I\u2019ve explained the rules to you... no no, look please,\nput down that jawbone... alright, we\u2019ll start again. And try to concentrate this\ntime.\nFord leaned his elbow against the tree and his hand against his head.\n- What are you doing, Arthur? - he asked quietly.\nArthur looked up with a start. He suddenly had a feeling that all this might\nlook slightly foolish. All he knew was that it had worked like a dream on him\nwhen he was a chid. But things were di\ufb00erent then, or rather would be.\n- I\u2019m trying to teach the cavemen to play Scrabble, - he said.\n- They\u2019re not cavemen, - said Ford.\n- They look like cavemen.\nFord let it pass.\n- I see, - he said.\n- It\u2019s uphill work, - said Arthur wearily, - the only word they know is grunt\nand they can\u2019t spell it.\n151", "efeb59bc-2a17-44d4-aeb4-8bfa80aeb661": "152 CHAPTER 33.\nHe sighed and sat back.\n- What\u2019s that supposed to achieve? - asked Ford.\n- We\u2019ve got to encourage them to evolve! To develop! - Arthur burst out\nangrily. He hoped that the weary sigh and then the anger might do something\nto counteract the overriding feeling of foolishness from which he was currently\nsu\ufb00ering. It didn\u2019t. He jumped to his feet.\n- Can you imagine what a world would be like descended from those... cretins\nwe arrived with? - he said.\n- Imagine? - said Ford, rising his eyebrows. - We don\u2019t have to imagine.\nWe\u2019ve seen it.\n- But... - Arthur waved his arms about hopelessly.\n- We\u2019ve seen it, - said Ford, - there\u2019s no escape.\nArthur kicked at a stone.\n- Did you tell them what we\u2019ve discovered? - he asked.\n- Hmmmm? - said Ford, not really concentrating.\n- Norway, - said Arthur, - Slartibartfast\u2019s signature in the glacier. Did you\ntell them?\n- What\u2019s the point? - said Ford, - What would it mean to them?\n- Mean? - said Arthur, - Mean? You know perfectly well what it means. It\nmeans that this planet is the Earth! It\u2019s my home! It\u2019s where I was born!\n- Was? - said Ford.\n- Alright, will be.\n- Yes, in two million years\u2019 time. Why don\u2019t you tell them that? Go and say\nto them, \u201dExcuse me, I\u2019d just like to point out that in two million years\u2019 time I\nwill be born just a few miles from here.\u201d See what they say. They\u2019ll chase you\nup a tree and set \ufb01re to it.\nArthur absorbed this unhappily.\n- Face it, - said Ford, - those zeebs over there are your ancestors, not these\npoor creatures here.\nHe went over to where the apemen creatures were rummaging listlessly with\nthe stone letters. He shook his head.\n- Put the Scrabble away, Arthur, - he said, - it won\u2019t save the human race,\nbecause this lot aren\u2019t going to be the human race. The human race is currently\nsitting round a rock on the other side of this hill making documentaries about\nthemselves.\nArthur winced.\n- There must be something we can do, - he said. A terrible sense of desolation\nthrilled through his body that he should be here, on the Earth, the Earth which\nhad lost its future in a horrifying arbitrary catastrophe and which now seemed\nset to lose its past as well.\n- No, - said Ford, - there\u2019s nothing we can do. This doesn\u2019t change the\nhistory of the Earth, you see, this is the history of the Earth. Like it or leave it,\nthe Golgafrinchans are the people you are descended from. in two million years\nthey get destroyed by the Vogons. History is never altered you see, it just \ufb01ts\ntogether like a jigsaw. Funny old thing, life, isn\u2019t it?\nHe picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant pivet bush where it\nhit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled o\ufb00 in terror and didn\u2019t stop till it was\nset upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the\nbank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.", "5ad5ef5c-7e30-4bc9-9086-ab9c2c1dfe17": "153\nDuring the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a\nrelationship with a girl who had been a personnel o\ufb03cer on Golgafrincham, and\nhe was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking\nwater from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The\nonly moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw\nthe letter Q into a pivet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is\nunavoidable.\nLike most of the really crucial things in life, this chain of events was com-\npletely invisible to Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. They were looking sadly at\none of the natives morosely pushing the other letters around.\n- Poor bloody caveman, - said Arthur.\n- They\u2019re not...\n- What?\n- Oh never mind.\nThe wretched creature let out a pathetic howling noise and banged on the\nrock.\n- It\u2019s all been a bit of waste of time for them, hasn\u2019t it? - said Arthur.\n- Uh uh urghhhhh, - muttered the native and banged on the rock again.\n- They\u2019ve been outevolved by telephone sanitizers.\n- Urgh, gr gr, gruh! - insisted the native, continuing to bang on the rock.\n- Why does he keep banging on the rock? - said Arthur.\n- I think he probably wants you to Scrabble with him again, - said Ford, -\nhe\u2019s pointing at the letters.\n- Probably spelt crzjgrdwldiwdc again, poor bastard. I keep on telling him\nthere\u2019s only one g in crzjgrdwldiwdc.\nThe native banged on the rock again.\nThey looked over his shoulder.\nTheir eyes popped.\nThere amongst the jumble of letters were eight that had been laid out in a\nclear straight line.\nThey spelt two words.\nThe words were these:\n- Forty-Two.\n- Grrrurgh guh guh, - explained the native. He swept the letters angrily\naway and went and mooched under a nearby tree with his colleague.\nFord and Arthur stared at him. Then they stared at each other.\n- Did that say what I thought it said? - they both said to each other.\n- Yes, - they both said.\n- Forty-two, - said Arthur.\n- Forty-two, - said Ford.\nArthur ran over to the two natives.\n- What are you trying to tell us? - he shouted. - What\u2019s it supposed to\nmean?\nOne of them rolled over on the ground, kicked his legs up in the air, rolled\nover again and went to sleep.\nThe other bounded up the tree and threw horse chestnuts at Ford Prefect.\nWhatever it was they had to say, they had already said it.\n- You know what this means, - said Ford.\n- Not entirely.\n- Forty-two is the number Deep Thought gave as being the Ultimate Answer.", "95f82a7e-b805-4942-8dda-4870761695fc": "154 CHAPTER 33.\n- Yes.\nAnd the Earth is the computer Deep Thought designed and built to calculate\nthe \u201dQuestion to the Ultimate Answer.\u201d\n- So we are led to believe.\n- And organic life was part of the computer matrix.\n- If you say so.\n- I do say so. That means that these natives, these apemen are an integral\npart of the computer program, and that we and the Golgafrinchans are not.\n- But the cavemen are dying out and the Golgafrinchans are obviously set\nto replace them.\n- Exactly. So do you see what this means?\n- What?\n- Cock up, - said Ford Prefect.\nArthur looked around him.\n- This planet is having a pretty bloody time of it, - he said.\nFord puzzled for a moment.\n- Still, something must have come out of it, - he said at last, - because Marvin\nsaid he could see the Question printed in your brain wave patterns.\n- But...\n- Probably the wrong one, or a distortion of the right one. It might give us\na clue though if we could \ufb01nd it. I don\u2019t see how we can though.\nThey moped about for a bit. Arthur sat on the ground and started pulling\nup bits of grass, but found that it wasn\u2019t an occupation he could get deeply\nengrossed in. It wasn\u2019t grass he could believe in, the trees seemed pointless, the\nrolling hills seemed to be rolling to nowhere and the future seemed just a tunnel\nto be crawled through.\nFord \ufb01ddled with his Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic. It was silent. He sighed and\nput it away.\nArthur picked up one of the letter stones from his home-made Scrabble set.\nIt was a T. He sighed and out it down again. The letter he put down next to it\nwas an I. That spelt IT. He tossed another couple of letters next to them They\nwere an S and an H as it happened. By a curious coincidence the resulting\nword perfectly expressed the way Arthur was feeling about things just then. He\nstared at it for a moment. He hadn\u2019t done it deliberately, it was just a random\nchance. His brain got slowly into \ufb01rst gear.\n- Ford, - he said suddenly, - look, if that Question is printed in my brain\nwave patterns but I\u2019m not consciously aware of it it must be somewhere in my\nunconscious.\n- Yes, I suppose so.\n- There might be a way of bringing that unconscious pattern forward.\n- Oh yes?\n- Yes, by introducing some random element that can be shaped by that\npattern.\n- Like how?\n- Like by pulling Scrabble letters out of a bag blindfolded.\nFord leapt to his feet.\n- Brilliant! - he said. He tugged his towel out of his satchel and with a few\ndeft knots transformed it into a bag.\n- Totally mad, - he said, - utter nonsense. But we\u2019ll do it because it\u2019s brilliant\nnonsense. Come on, come on.", "6a435c78-fa33-4c9e-9e16-ce9163a76068": "155\nThe sun passed respectfully behind a cloud. A few small sad raindrops fell.\nThey piled together all the remaining letters and dropped them into the bag.\nThey shook them up.\n- Right, - said Ford, - close your eyes. Pull them out. Come on come on,\ncome on.\nArthur closed his eyes and plunged his hand into the towelful of stones. He\njiggled them about, pulled out four and handed them to Ford. Ford laid them\nalong the ground in the order he got them.\n- W, - said Ford, - H, A, T... What!\nHe blinked.\n- I think it\u2019s working! - he said.\nArthur pushed three more at him.\n- D, O, Y... Doy. Oh perhaps it isn\u2019t working, - said Ford.\n- Here\u2019s the next three.\n- O, U, G... Doyoug... It\u2019s not making sense I\u2019m afraid.\nArthur pulled another two from the bag. Ford put them in place.\n- E, T, doyouget... Do you get! - shouted Ford, - it is working! This is\namazing, it really is working!\n- More here. - Arthur was throwing them out feverishly as fast as he could\ngo.\n- I, F, - said Ford, - Y, O, U,... M, U, L, T, I, P, L, Y,... What do you get if\nyou multiply,... S, I, X,... six, B, Y, by, six by... what do you get if you multiply\nsix by... N, I, N, E, ...six by nine... - He paused. - Come on, where\u2019s the next\none?\n- Er, that\u2019s the lot, - said Arthur, - that\u2019s all there were.\nHe sat back, nonplussed.\nHe rooted around again in the knotted up towel but there were no more\nletters.\n- You mean that\u2019s it? - said Ford.\n- That\u2019s it.\n- Six by nine. Forty-two.\n- That\u2019s it. That\u2019s all there is.", "0752e857-1e75-4bdb-9a34-77a22eca7411": "156 CHAPTER 33.", "61a83e71-7461-4d5a-92e4-5fc88110aa8a": "Chapter 34\nThe sun came out and beamed cheerfully at them. A bird sang. A warm breeze\nwafted through the trees and lifted the heads of the \ufb02owers, carrying their scent\naway through the woods. An insect droned past on its way to do whatever it\nis that insects do in the late afternoon. The sound of voices lilted through the\ntrees followed a moment later by two girls who stopped in surprise at the sight\nof Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent apparently lying on the ground in agony, but\nin fact rocking with noiseless laughter.\n- No, don\u2019t go, - called Ford Prefect between gasps, - we\u2019ll be with you in a\nmoment.\n- What\u2019s the matter? - asked one of the girls. She was the taller and slimmer\nof the two. On Golgafrincham she had been a junior personnel o\ufb03cer, but hadn\u2019t\nliked it much.\nFord pulled himself together.\n- Excuse me, - he said, - hello. My friend and I were just contemplating the\nmeaning of life. Frivolous exercise.\n- Oh it\u2019s you, - said the girl, - you made a bit of a spectacle of yourself this\nafternoon. You were quite funny to begin with but you did bang on a bit.\n- Did I? Oh yes.\n- Yes, what was all that for? - asked the other girl, a shorter round-faced\ngirl who had been an art director for a small advertising company on Golgafrin-\ncham. Whatever the privations of this world were, she went to sleep every night\nprofoundly grateful for the fact that whatever she had to face in the morning\nit wouldn\u2019t be a hundred almost identical photographs of moodily lit tubes of\ntoothpaste.\n- For? For nothing. Nothing\u2019s for anything, - said Ford Prefect happily. -\nCome and join us. I\u2019m Ford, this is Arthur. We were just about to do nothing\nat all for a while but it can wait.\nThe girls looked at them doubtfully.\n- I\u2019m Agda, - said the tall one, - this is Mella.\n- Hello Agda, hello Mella, - said Ford.\n- Do you talk at all? - said Mella to Arthur.\n- Oh, eventually, - said Arthur with a smile, - but not as much as Ford.\n- Good.\nThere was a slight pause.\n- What did you mean, - asked Agda, - about only having two million years?\nI couldn\u2019t make sense of what you were saying.\n- Oh that, - said Ford, - it doesn\u2019t matter.\n157", "86685415-67c9-46d6-8a6d-7370ac99c6a0": "158 CHAPTER 34.\n- It\u2019s just that the world gets demolished to make way for a hyperspace\nbypass, - said Arthur with a shrug, - but that\u2019s two million years away, and\nanyway it\u2019s just Vogons doing what Vogons do.\n- Vogons? - said Mella.\n- Yes, you wouldn\u2019t know them.\n- Where\u2019d you get this idea from?\n- It really doesn\u2019t matter. It\u2019s just like a dream from the past, or the future.\n- Arthur smiled and looked away.\n- Does it worry you that you don\u2019t talk any kind of sense? - asked Agda.\n- Listen, forget it, - said Ford, - forget all of it. Nothing matters. Look, it\u2019s\na beautiful day, enjoy it. The sun, the green of the hills, the river down in the\nvalley, the burning trees.\n- Even if it\u2019s only a dream, it\u2019s a pretty horrible idea, - said Mella, - destroying\na world just to make a bypass.\n- Oh, I\u2019ve heard of worse, - said Ford, - I read of one planet o\ufb00 in the seventh\ndimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got\npotted straight into a black hole. Killed ten billion people.\n- That\u2019s mad, - said Mella.\n- Yes, only scored thirty points too.\nAgda and Mella exchanged glances.\n- Look, - said Agda, - there\u2019s a party after the committee meeting tonight.\nYou can come along if you like.\n- Yeah, OK, - said Ford.\n- I\u2019d like to, - said Arthur.\nMany hours later Arthur and Mella sat and watched the moon rise over the\ndull red glow of the trees.\n- That story about the world being destroyed... - began Mella.\n- In two million years, yes.\n- You say it as if you really think it\u2019s true.\n- Yes, I think it is. I think I was there.\nShe shook her head in puzzlement.\n- You\u2019re very strange, - she said.\n- No, I\u2019m very ordinary, - said Arthur, - but some very strange things have\nhappened to me. You could say I\u2019m more di\ufb00ered from than di\ufb00ering.\n- And that other world your friend talked about, the one that got pushed\ninto a black hole.\n- Ah, that I don\u2019t know about. It sounds like something from the book.\n- What book?\nArthur paused.\n- The Hitch Hiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy, - he said at last.\n- What\u2019s that?\n- Oh, just something I threw into the river this evening. I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be\nwanting it any more, - said Arthur Dent."}, "relevant_docs": {"918d39a3-b018-49f8-8dc0-34ee9466b49f": ["79eb6b86-7e42-4314-8af1-5844b0a1b75e"], "d0419e16-2d05-4214-a833-81691a712a17": ["79eb6b86-7e42-4314-8af1-5844b0a1b75e"], "3b9274f3-4ae9-4783-a287-4b02531674f3": ["bef6cc2a-ecf6-45db-8351-0efd258204c4"], "2686a40f-75dc-4762-abd2-f51c9c112c0d": ["bef6cc2a-ecf6-45db-8351-0efd258204c4"], "f7378b24-ab01-4b76-b36f-14200008fa59": ["adc569db-18cc-4fd8-893a-20824d466444"], "41458355-24d7-4816-a9d6-bb9589845be4": ["adc569db-18cc-4fd8-893a-20824d466444"], "503b51ea-749f-4e90-bb6d-a440b53ef103": ["2e43656e-841d-477a-ae02-b8cfc979cfc5"], "1d8f2575-3f16-40d8-9171-c3cbc37b09bc": ["2e43656e-841d-477a-ae02-b8cfc979cfc5"], "d84dd7cc-ee8a-4b74-8e08-69f154eed17e": ["9f3b3852-851b-4d00-9531-ef0eb0862658"], "0820461d-27e7-4f7c-b0ac-ec598d144b01": ["9f3b3852-851b-4d00-9531-ef0eb0862658"], "fda8f752-800d-49ce-a98f-76b264ed9ab9": ["d36cb680-3db5-4029-af33-e6e02e41eeae"], 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